ask--eggman

[ask--eggman]

Happy birthday, doctor, hopefully you can finally destroy that hedgehog.

Ohoho! It's only a matter of when, not if! And I've got big plans!

[ask--eggman]

Happy Egg-father's day to the glorious egg shaped evil genius 🎉🎉🥚🥚🎉🎉

Yes, yes, I am the best father and daddy who has ever lived and ever will live!

[ask--eggman]

Just thought I’d enlighten you about the previous anon’s ask. This is the definition of a bear (slang wise, at least). And honestly, yeah, you definitely have the traits for a bear.

Yes, that's one of the few labels I'm actually familiar with that I don't have to search up, unlike most of the slang drivel you kids keep bringing to me today. It goes back to the 80s which I was there for, while I'm sure the majority of you didn't even exist yet.

Like I said, I typically don't put a label on myself, I'm far too great to be defined and summarized by any labels. However, it is one I don't have much of a problem embracing. I am big, fat, strong, and hairy like a bear and I'm beautiful for it!

[ask--eggman]

ur my favourite bear mr Eggman♥️♥️♥️ SHOW THE TITTIES AND TUMMY NOW!!!

Hoho, of course I am. I'm the best, who else is there? Well, I suppose it would be good for business, if showing myself off and blessing your eyes for just a fleeting moment helps you recognize my allure and submit to me and my empire sooner.

Alright, just a tease as I was about to go relax at my indoor pool, so you've caught me in a shirt and shorts. It's been a while since I shaved for any swimming related activities so it is "furry" like a bear right now too, heheh. *Pulls shirt up to reveal nice plump tits resting on top of a soft round belly, all covered in fluffy dark brown hair*

[ask--eggman]

Eggman, you’re on Tumblr. Most of us are queer. You don’t have to lie about your sexuality. We won’t judge.

Well, I didn't know that! I just created this account because it seemed like a good way to get my adoring fans to reach out to me and an efficient method of spreading the word of my glorious future reign!

Who says I have to share it with you all, anyway? What if I don't want to put a label on it, huh? Not disclosing anything doesn't confirm or deny anything, nor does it make me a liar!

[ask--eggman]

You don't have to lie about not being gay, this is a safe space eggy

I'm not lying about anything! I just have no comment to make on these... Allegations...

[ask--eggman]

Eggy, which do you prefer: MILFS or DILFS?

Errm... "DILFS"...

...

...

...

...

...

Because I'm one of them, of course!

[ask--eggman]

Eggman, have you ever considered becoming a gogo dancer to shake your booty for the ladies (or the dudes if you swing the other way)? Alot of people would pay a pretty penny to see your butt and man-titties jiggle.

Errrm- well... Hrrrm... I suppose with how irresistibly handsome and sexy I am, it would certainly serve me well in attracting more to the empire and I know I'd be very successful, I'm an excellent dancer and I have a beautiful body!

But at the same time, it would be spoiling you too much to see such perfection on display so easily, especially if I can't expect an immediate recruitment as payment guaranteed, as I don't need your money with my various methods and businesses already.

But perhaps I could use it as a lure and then have robots seize everyone after. And I suppose every bit of cash would help for building an army and later an empire if it didn't work out, too. I might consider it.

Everyone wants me so it would work for the masses regardless of which way I "swing" or not, ahem.

[ask--eggman]

You might not need a wife, but doesn't Sage and Metal need a mommy🥺?

No, they don't. The nuclear family unit you common simpletons typically form is completely unnecessary. They are superior for being created solely by my own scientific genius without the mixing of inferior genetics of everyone else who combine theirs by bumping proteins together naturally. Now they can also be trained solely by my superior influence without someone else trying to get into their head and ruin it.

Sage may be my daughter and I'm considering letting Metal have the son label if it makes her happy but they don't share any of the detestable traits of inferior flesh and blood children and therefore don't require any of the same needs. They don't act like immature clueless dopey toddlers that need coddling, they don't even need "raising" because they're already performing at peak efficiency.

Sage is a highly intelligent and reliable assistant and Metal Sonic is a ruthless killing machine, they serve me well and they're very useful to me already. They certainly don't need a "mommy" to make them soft and lose sight of their purpose.

[ask--eggman]

greyed... *yet?* i'm interested in seeing a grey mustache eggman,,

*looks over at gerald*

...maybe not.

What's wrong with having a gray mustache? I look as handsome and perfect as I ever have when I'm turning gray! I'll have you know it suits me just as well, even if I prefer to keep my signature rich mahogany for now!

I mean- would. I haven't started to gray yet, like I said...

[ask--eggman]

Shadow pissed on your wife

you know what to do…

No, he didn't. I don't have and have never had a wife to be "pissed on" in the first place.

[ask--eggman]

the closet is made of glass babygirl

Oh quiet, you! When will you all cut it out with this- this absolute slander?

[ask--eggman]

Have you ever thought of wanting a husband instead of a wife? You don't seem very straight to me....

No I haven't because I'm not interested in marriage in general, if we're talking about the official traditional arrangement and committment and not my preferred hypothetical that I said I could agree to under the very specific circumstance of said list of requirements being met.

Err- ahem, and because I haven't thought about being with a man in general, of course... Rrrrgh, why does everyone keep saying that? What about me seems so... gay to all of you? No wait, maybe it's best not to ask that.

[ask--eggman]

Eggman, does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

I know everyone wishes they could have a taste of my milkshake. B-but who said I was trying to attract the boys...?

[ask--eggman]

@kaithefirst0127

I assure you, I'm NOT interested in getting a wife.

[ask--eggman]

Do you consider yourself a strong independent Mad Scientist who don't need no wife?

Of course. I've impressively built myself millions of robots, bases, and plans all by myself in the pursuit of realizing my dreams of world domination. And I've never had any desire or need for a wife, that doesn't fit anywhere in the picture.

[ask--eggman]

You ever heard of egg cream sodas? What would you change about those drinks to make them an eggMAN cream soda?

Oh yes, I love chocolate egg cream sodas, they're delicious! I already have my own version with a recipe that is specially engineered to satisfy my superior taste buds.

But now that you mention it, I should start to produce and release it to the public as I know everyone would be lining up to drink my Egg-MAN cream, heheh. Gives me an idea for an extra special ingredient that edition could include...