ask-a-ftm

[ask-a-ftm]

crazy how people assume trans guys dont know if we had short naturally coloured hair and a basic style we'd "pass better." "you want tips on how to pass? no more fun piercings, jewelry, anything feminine, dyed hair, nail polish or nice things for you!" thanks but I choose joy and whimsy x

[ask-a-ftm]

Still remember when a homo- and transphobic acquaintance tried to bring up JKR’s views on trans people in conversation and I shut it down with «oh yeah she’s been saying a lot of dumb shit on Twitter after she finished writing Harry Potter, like when she claimed Dumbledore was gay, just to be politically correct», which made it absolutely impossible for him to admit that he agreed with anything JKR had ever said. Sometimes you just have to weaponise people’s homophobia against their transphobia.

[ask-a-ftm]

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'There's a petition to ban conversion therapy in the EU' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]

If you are a citizen in the EU please sign this petition:

[ask-a-ftm]

Story time: I’m a trans guy. I have an identical twin. We’re both tall, androgynous, and have naturally deep voices

In high school a rumor was spread that one of us was trans. For years, everyone in school had convinced themselves that my twin was “the trans one”. She rolled with it to keep me safe, and said it felt like a compliment to be mistaken for a trans woman since she looked up to a lot of trans women. That didn’t stop the bullying, but it’s easier to deal with when it’s directed at the wrong person. I’m engaged to a feminine cis guy who is several inches shorter than me. I have 20-30lbs on him and I can dead lift him. He’s more delicate and soft both physically and socially. He cries during sad movies, owns half a million stuffed animals, and clings to my arm when he’s nervous or it’s cold out (oh yeah, also he’s adorable) Whenever the topic of being trans comes up, cis people tend to think he’s the one who is trans. Direct all “what do your parents think?” comments onto him. Completely ignore me. Ask him invasive/transphobic questions about his body. Tell him “you pass so well!” through grit teeth. Like with my sister, I get pretty pissed about this, but there’s not much I can do about it. I have had to argue with cis people to establish the fact I’m trans because they don’t believe me & think I’m joking. they’re like “but he’s - no, she’s trans!” and frantically point fingers at my fiance and sister. Because there’s no way an adult cis woman could be taller than 5′9 and choose to be bare-faced, and an adult cis man could love How To Train Your Dragon 2 with a fiery passion, enough to watch it 3 times in the theatre.  Terfs take one look at us and try to convince my sister she’ll never have a uterus or that she’s “appropriating women’s spaces”. Transphobes say my boyfriend will “always be a girl” and call him gendered slurs. They talk over them, block them, and grill them about what genitalia they have online. Completely unknowing that they’re talking to two cisgender people who are gay and gnc. @ young, closeted, scared trans people: any cis person who insists they can somehow “know” your “birth sex” by looking at you because “it’s so obvious!” is full of shit. people come in all shapes and sizes regardless of gender. Not only are they being transphobic, but they’re being homophobic too.

[ask-a-ftm]

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

[ask-a-ftm]

when i came out as trans i had an old friend from my church days message me to congratulate me and ask me for my name and pronouns. and i was shocked tbh cause he was such a head-deep-up-the-church’s ass kind of guy so i was super wary.

and after digging a little deeper i found out that he was very supportive of transness, saying that trans men are men and trans women are women

BUT

he also believed in the church’s gender roles meaning that trans women had to marry men and be submissive wives and trans men had to marry women and be strong christian husbands.

which is like ????

the weirdest and most surreal form of trans inclusive misogyny i’ve ever seen.

[ask-a-ftm]

the catholic old white guy asked me to explain lgbtq+ to him and it was honestly kind of funny

[ask-a-ftm]

Hey everyone,

I havent answered a question on here in a long time and I don't think I'm going to and I apologise for that. I came back to this blog a few days ago and saw the amount of questions waiting and felt instantly overwhelmed and with some of the questions requiring me to do research I don't think I can bring myself to go through and answer them all. I plan on posting again but it will mostly be reblogs of posts made by others that will have information and memes by and for the trans community. I might start to make original posts with my own experiences but I work now so I won't make any promises.

In all honesty when I made the blog I was only 19 and in no way someone that should have been giving advice I just wanted to give back to a community that welcomed me and to help younger trans people because there's a few negative role models out there and I just wanted to help. I currently hope to help simply by collecting and amplifying voices that already know what they're talking about.

I will keep my asks open but Ill probably only answer non-serious questions.

Again I apologise to everyone who have sent questions and never received an answer, I've since learnt to not bite off more than I can chew. Thank you for your understanding.

[ask-a-ftm]

t*rfs also like to twist the fact that there’s little long-term medical research into transitioning (for both trans women and trans men) in order to abuse and frighten trans men into detransitioning (which, btw, often leads to the suicidal depression that dysphoria causes and transitioning alleviates!)

[ask-a-ftm]

saw a post a while back like "cis girls and boys should be able to get bottom surgery if they want it" so now im curious. in a perfect world, would you want bottom surgery

if u reblog i kiss u mwah

[ask-a-ftm]

new post bc i really need folks to stop spreading tactics that are going to get missourians killed.

attorney general bailey has set up a website where you can report “concerns” about transgender care.

DO NOT SUBMIT PLAUSIBLE ENTRIES.

bailey will take those entries as real stories and use them as fuel to come down even harder on transgender care in missouri. instead, do what we usually don’t do and spam the absolute shit out of it. vary your submissions so they can’t just filter out certain keywords. but DO NOT submit stories that could sound real, because bailey will present them as real.

here is the link.

[ask-a-ftm]

Hey just wanted to do a little update I have a lot of questions to get through because I just haven't been answering them, I had a few personal things come up and I didn't have the energy. If I can get my computer to work I'll make a video covering all the questions I can and if that falls through I'll just answer on here. Thank you for your patience everyone.

[ask-a-ftm]

I have to get counseling so I can start my transition and get surgery. What can I expect at those counseling meetings? Do they get a say in whether I can start T?My ultimate goal in the end is to get top surgery and phalloplasty. Maybe metoidioplasty. Theres still some things I have to research with that.

So in Australia (I'm not sure about other countries) it use to be that you had to get a referral from a psychiatrist first and a lot of places still go by that if you've been told you have to go to counseling then yes they could tell you no but a lot of the time they won't say no outright they'll just slow down the process by making you go to more sessions. I don't know a lot about metoidioplasty but it's really interesting to me

[ask-a-ftm]

All my life I considered myself as a cis gender female, but I didn't feel like the rest of the girls, I thought it was just something that wasn't for me, but this year I just started a path of discovering about maybe being transmasc and non binary, and I am so so so so ducking afraid, because all my life I pictured myself as a woman and to stay like that until death, but now... Now it doesn't feel good, everything that was comfortable to me like make-up and the clothes that I felt comfortable as a female, now just cause me a lot of discomfort and disphoria...

But I'm mostly afraid that if I do something about it, I will change my mind, I want to take my time but since some months ago this is starting to be in every aspect of my life...

How do you realized that you we're transgender? It's normal to start in my 20's to question myself or it might be a phase?

Happy holidays btw 🎄

So I realised through cosplay because I found I preferred dressing as a guy and I always got a good feeling when I was "mistaken" as a guy out and about so you could try out different masculine ways of dressing and it is actually very common to come out as trans in your 20's and 30's. There's no rush to figure out who you are everyone does it at different speeds you could know instantly or you can slowly realise it over years everyone's experience is different

[ask-a-ftm]

I'm going to start going by Alexander or Alex for short. Trying to think of middle names that go with it. Any ideas? Anyone? Thanks in advance.

So for a long name you'll want a middle name thats short to medium length more on the short side something that'll flow so maybe something with no L's in it unless the rhythm works. Hope that helps

[ask-a-ftm]

hi i constantly feel like im faking because i didnt show any signs as a kid (in fact i loved being my birthgender) and now i dont and i think im trans but again, i never wanted to be anything but a girl up until around a year or so ago, and im really conflicted.

I went through this same thing I did not show any signs as a kid at least not anything obvious, I loved my birthgender and puberty wasnt any worse to me than it was to any of the cisgender girls I was friends with and I didn't realise my gender wasn't right until I was about 17 then came out as transmale when I was 18. My point is you're still valid you're not alone and there are people that have similar experiences as you

[ask-a-ftm]

hey so i'm afab and i've been fine with it until recently, where i look at certain men and jsut go "i really wanna look like that dndnd" and idk i'm just struggling because i live the idea of being both?? i love the idea of being this cute girl who wears dresses and wears so much makeup but being a guy who dresses comepletely different and is pretty masculine? but also being neither is just fnngjend help idk what to do and i live in a transphobic house anyway so i'm really hoping that i'm not trans and i'm just being dumb :(( i'm only 14 so maybe it's just some dumb talk but i think about being a guy or non binary constantly

If you can find a safe way to experiment and see how you feel about it all that would help you sort through the process. I can't tell you if you are trans-masc or trans-non-binary that is something only you can decide but remember you don't have to pick a label right away you're still young and going through phases to find your identity is perfectly normal don't let anyone tell you you're faking just because you can't decide right away