ask-gc

[ask-gc]

To nick: how did you managed to reunite with you long lost friends and sister 

Nick: what the fuck are you talking about?

[ask-gc]

Customer: is that ham processed? If so, I don’t Want it.

Leonia: Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter his universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest.

Customer: …

Leonia: We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.

[ask-gc]

Sam: Arguing with me is pointless. The sky is red, deal with it.

Stacey: …

Stacey: You know what, I’m not even mad, go off monarch

[ask-gc]

Drea: hey clo can you help me?

Clover: sure, what do you need?

Drea: i need about tree fiddy

Clover: *realizes she was actually talking to an eight, story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era* GOD DAMN IT LOCHNESS MONSTER I AIN'T GIVING YOU NO TREE FIDDY!

Lochness monster: how about two fiddy?

Clover: OH, NOW ITS JUST TWO FIDDY, YOU LISTEN HERE MONSTER WE WORK FOR OUR MONEY IN THIS HOUSE AND WE DON'T GIVE MONEY AWAY!

[ask-gc]

Mike *pointing at Nick*: We have Daddy Issues

Mike *pointing at Drea*: Daddy Issues

Mike: *pointing at Sam*: Chaos Junkie

Mike *pointing at Adrian*: Mommy Issues

Mike *pointing at Stacey*: You… you actually seem weirdly self actualized

[ask-gc]

Lizz: Ya know, when I was your age, I’d be manipulating the student body and become class president.

Regan: Are you like a supervillain or something? Because that is definitely not normal

[ask-gc]

Lizz: You know when she was little, she used to call you “Pretti Annie”

Ann: Aww, that’s adorable

Regan: MOOOM!!!!

[ask-gc]

Tony: NO, THATS WRONG:

Ellis and Greg: Tony…we’re writing a FANTASY story-

[ask-gc]

*flashback to sister location*

Mike crawling through Ballora gallery: It do be a bit dark innit- F^CK OF YOU TALL THING- anyway

[ask-gc]

Sam: Yes, yes, "blood for the blood god" and all, but when you think about it, why would the blood god want blood?

Sam: I mean, they're the blood god.

Sam: Presumably they already have blood.

Sam: You're giving them the one thing that by definition they already have in great supply.

Nick: I don't think you end up the blood god by saying "yeah, that seems like a reasonable amount of blood."

[ask-gc]

Stacy: I have a joke for you.

Nick: Ok shoot

Stacy: What has a tiny penis and hangs down?

Nick: I dunno what?

Stacy: A bat. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Nick: I dunno what?

*click*

[ask-gc]

Sam: I am too sophisticated for such crass humor!

Stacy: you sound like a damned elitist asshole from the school of snobbery.

[ask-gc]

Stacy: I have a joke for you.

Nick: Ok shoot

Stacy: What has a tiny penis and hangs down?

Nick: I dunno what?

Stacy: A bat. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Nick: I dunno what?

*click*

[ask-gc]

Nick: I remember Steve, he taught me how to shave!

Lizz: He taught ME how to shave!

Adrian*confused*: where?

Nick: Steve is the best!

Lizz: freaking Steve!

[ask-gc]

Nick: How do you deal with your actions having consequences? I can't imagine it

Mike: tbh i spend the vast majority of my time dealing with the consequences of other people's actions

[ask-gc]

Lizz *annoyed and rubbing her temples*: how am I the youngest and yet somehow the most responsible of us?

Michael: hey! I’m responsible!

Lizz: stop burning down buildings and then I might consider it.

[ask-gc]

Person: Would you like to buy a custom video just for you x

Nick: Of what?

Person: Anything you want honey Just for 40$ xx

Nick: A cat driving a tractor

Person: No

Nick: You said anything