askenricomaxwell

[askenricomaxwell]

Bishop Maxwell! If I ever turn into a vampire, I ask that YOU be the one to k_іll me! I trust you ~~~

I am deeply honored. Truly. There is no greater show of trust than asking someone to drive a stake through your accursed, bloodsucking chest. If that time ever comes I won’t hesitate. I will look you in the eye, say a prayer for your soul and make it quick. Elegant. Holy.

[askenricomaxwell]

So, Enrico…

Your thoughts?~

My thoughts? Alucard. That overgrown leech in a red coat...has adopted you? I’m praying for you. Genuinely.

[askenricomaxwell]

Handsome Diva, let say you had done something to make Father Anderson, Heinkel, and Yumie to make them upset.

What is your form of apology to each Iscariot member?

Hypothetically, of course.

if I had done something to cause a reaction from Anderson, Heinkel, and Yumie, I would begin by assessing the severity of their reactions. If they are merely fuming, sulking, or sharpening knives in my general direction, then the situation is manageable.

Anderson is quick to forgive, though not before making me feel like I kicked a puppy during Mass. Heinkel would light a cigarette right in front of me, even though they know I hate it. Yumie…Yumie would probably throw something. She’s a delight.

I suppose I would apologize. In a dignified manner. Possibly with gifts. Or by attending confession voluntarily, which they all seem to take as an act of divine humility. Unless, of course, Anderson pulls the ‘disappointed father’ tone. Then God help me I find myself offering to do the orphanage laundry for a week. Again.

This is all hypothetical, mind you. I have never, in all my years, upset them intentionally. That anyone can prove.

[askenricomaxwell]

What is the one prank that got you better than any other prank played on you? And what is the best prank you played on, and on who?

Father Anderson once rigged the confessional booth I use for personal prayer. I entered to find every page of my breviary replaced with handwritten copies of Scottish pub songs, smuggled in by the orphanage boys.

As for my own finest work...Ah. The time I replaced Father Renaldo’s communion wine with pomegranate juice. During Easter Mass. He panicked mid-sermon and accused the congregation of divine punishment

[askenricomaxwell]

Hi! Tell me, if Alucard offers you a relationship and works for Iscariot in exchange for your consent to be his partner, would you agree?

You are either blasphemously bold or catastrophically unwell. You are asking if I, a bishop, a servant of the Holy See, the head of Iscariot, would entertain romantic entanglement with Alucard, the very embodiment of damnation, the Hellsing's pet and monster.

No. Absolutely not. I would rather be excommunicated by fire than ever consider such a disgraceful proposition. Even entertaining the idea is a stain on the mind. Should he ever make such an offer, I would take it as proof he has finally gone mad.

Let it be known; I would sooner burn with righteousness than kiss a monster who drinks blood and wears sunglasses indoors

[askenricomaxwell]

Ever been on a water slide? What are your thoughts on them?

-F

No, never have. My idea of leisure involves a library, a locked door, and silence, not being flushed through a plastic tube

[askenricomaxwell]

OMG! I recently heard from someone that you pranked Father Anderson! Tell me how it went?

I may have replaced his Holy Bible with a hollowed-out decoy filled with glitter and a note that read 'God sees all, but so do I.'

He has not spoken to me for two days. The children at the orphanage, however, now refer to him as 'Saint Sparkleblade.' I consider that a theological win.

[askenricomaxwell]

FINE! You don’t like Handsome Queen?!

Then how about….

Handsome Diva?~

Handsome Diva.

You are truly determined to test the boundaries of divine patience. First queen, now diva. What's next? Slay? I am a bishop. The head of Section XIII. I do not....slay

[askenricomaxwell]

Hi Maxwell! *pulls out a water gun and shoots * Bye Maxwell! hahaha! *runs away*

You drenched a bishop! You dare commit this act of absurd heresy and think you can simply run?!

ANDERSON!

[askenricomaxwell]

What’s your ideal vacation? What would you wear? How would you spend the day? Would you actually feel comfortable and relaxed?

Vacation? I see. I suppose I understand the appeal, for others. For me, the concept has always seemed somewhat indulgent.

If I were forced to take leave, perhaps under threat of papal decree, I imagine I would prefer somewhere quiet. A monastery in the mountains. Sparse, solemn. Somewhere where the silence is so complete that one could hear the voice of God, or at least, the absence of everything else.

As for attire? My cassock, is sufficient. I see no need for sandals, shorts, or God help us, Hawaiian prints

Relaxation, for me, is found in control. In order. In knowing that I am where I am meant to be. Were I idle too long, I suspect I’d find my peace unraveling. But I admit, reading scripture beneath quiet trees, without gunfire in the distance, would not be unwelcome.

[askenricomaxwell]

Forgive me, Bishop, for I have sinned…

I am no confessor by office, but I have seen the ruin sin brings when left to fester. If you seek repentance, I will not turn you away. But do not expect comfort without correction. So tell me, what have you done, and why did you come to me, of all people, to hear it.

[askenricomaxwell]

Handsome Queen, may I ask…do you have any insecurities? Maybe something you don’t really like about yourself or want others to know about?

You’re persistent with that title. I suppose I should commend the consistency.

Insecurities, I do not dwell on such things. I was not raised to indulge doubt. The Church taught me that weakness is not something to be embraced, it is something to be confronted and subdued

But, If there is something I remain wary of, it is the idea that perhaps, beneath all the structure and command, I am still the boy left behind in that orphanage. That all my work, all my precision, is simply armor built over an old fear of being unseen, unheard.

I do not let such thoughts control me. But I am aware of them. And I work daily to ensure they never dictate my actions.

[askenricomaxwell]

Enrico, you handsome queen, has a person of the same gender ever confessed that they had feelings for you? How did you react?

Handsome queen,’ is it? How charmingly irreverent. I assume you're trying to provoke a reaction. Well done, you have my attention. To answer your question, yes, someone of the same gender has once implied such feelings. It was many years ago. A fellow seminarian. He mistook admiration for affection, discipline for intimacy.

I responded with grace. I did not shame him. I simply made it clear that my heart, and my purpose, belong entirely to the Church. There is no room in my life for romantic attachment, regardless of gender. Desire is fleeting. Duty is eternal.

And let us be honest, one does not wear the cassock for its flattering silhouette. Though apparently, it has its unintended admirers

[askenricomaxwell]

Well, I guess you need a break. * hands her a cup of coffee and a croissant *

Thank you

[askenricomaxwell]

Do you have a strange habit that few people know about?

Strange? No. Unusual? Perhaps.

I keep all my books, hundreds of them, in exact alphabetical and theological order. Not just by author, but by subject hierarchy and doctrinal alignment. If even one volume is misplaced, I notice immediately. Some call that obsessive. I call it order.

I also have a habit of memorizing sermons I never intend to deliver, entire homilies written in the margins of reports, in the quiet hours of the night. It helps me process events. It's less confession, more control.

I suppose that’s the closest I come to a habit others might find strange.

[askenricomaxwell]

Do you have a life philosophy? Which philosophers in history do you like?

Saint Augustine of Hippo, naturally, holds my respect. His works on divine grace, justice, and the City of God remain foundational. Aquinas, of course, gave us the clarity to reconcile faith and reason without compromising either.

Outside the Church? Marcus Aurelius, perhaps. A pagan emperor, yes, but his understanding of duty, discipline, and sacrifice aligns more with Christian truth than many modern theologians.

But I hold no admiration for the likes of Nietzsche, Rousseau, or other godless men who mistook pride for enlightenment. Philosophy that denies God is not wisdom, it is vanity dressed in rhetoric. If you must ask for my 'life philosophy,' then let it be this; Obey God. Serve without hesitation. Destroy evil without apology. The rest is noise.

[askenricomaxwell]

Have you ever had a day when you realized that you would never be the same again?

Yes. I was still young. A seminarian, newly placed in administrative duties within the Church. I had spent years believing that faith alone would shape the world, that truth and righteousness would speak for themselves. Then I was made to witness a decision behind closed doors; an agreement made not in scripture, but in silence. A compromise. I watched holy men bend, not to evil, but to fear.

In that moment, I understood something painful. The Church is divine in spirit, but human in structure. And if it is to stand firm in a crumbling world, it needs more than preachers. It needs soldiers. It needs commanders.

I left that room changed. No longer a boy of belief, but a man of action. And from that day onward, I have not waited for righteousness to act on its own. I have carried it. I have enforced it. Was I ever the same again? No. Nor would I wish to be.