aspirationsandobsessions

[aspirationsandobsessions]

For the majority of people, there is never a good time to bring up the subject of mental health. We may talk about ending the stigma and treating mental health as we treat physical health, but the conversations are difficult and awkward. Some might say that it is to early in my journey to make this post, others may think it's to late. some know what I am about to say, but the majority won't. I have, up until the last few weeks kept my journey over the past months a secret, limiting the amount of people that know, but if I was in hospital with a broken leg, I wouldn't keep that a secret, I might make a status updating people and complaining about the situation. i have now spent three weeks of the last month in hospital, I was admitted for a week, then six days later admitted again, two weeks later I am still here. Why have I not spoken or updated people about my hospital stay? Why have I been quiet and embarrassed if it comes up in conversation? Because I am not physically ill, I am in a psychiatric ward. I have been assessed, diagnosed and given the chance to stabilise my condition, the same way we would with a different type of illness. I have had doctor and nurse support, like any other illness. I have been bored, tired and fed up like a physical illness. Another patient asked me if in a weird way I felt proud of ending up in hospital. I can honestly answer that I do not feel proud of my situation or that I let things escalate so far. I am proud that I have friends who realised I needed help before I realised it. I am proud that I have people around me who have taken responsibility for me when I couldn't be responsible for myself. I am proud that there are people and systems in place that treat mental health problems in the same way as physical problems. I am proud of the thing I have learnt. I Have learnt that we can't ignore our own mental health or it will spiral out of control until we reach crisis point. I have learnt that there is nothing wrong with needing to be medicated. I have learnt that there are people willing to help. I have learnt that it is possible to get a diagnosis that fits. I Have learnt that after 14 years of battling my mental health it's ok to fight for yourself and get what you need. As I prepare for discharge on Next week things may still feel to difficult to handle and even hopeless and times, but it's ok to talk about it, it's ok to hold on to the small percentage of my brain that wants to carry on and fight. it's ok to not know what happens from here or where to go or what to do. It's ok to be scared and unsure. It's ok to still be trying to answer the questions you've had for over 10 years. It's ok to still feel lost because eventually this will seem like a distant memory, I will be able to look back on it and see my own recovery.

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WHAT DO WE WANT?

PROFESSIONALLY FILMED STAGE MUSICALS!!

WHERE DO WE WANT IT?

ON NETFLIX!!

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Amelia's monologue just killed me slightly

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I think i’ll never get over it.

Every single grey’s anatomy fan after 11x21 (via glihty)

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Musical theater can save you, even if only for two or three hours at a time.

Michelle Knudsen, Evil Librarian (via matttdoyle)

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Writing, thinking and general curiosity over ideas for performing.

I want to be some bodies favourite person. The person they'd rather spend time with over everyone else. The person that people are drawn to. Not the person that people come and see for a couple of hours out of duty. I want to be excited when I wake up. Excited for the day ahead, excited for the next thing not the person whose scared of the boredom tomorrow will bring. I want to be a normal person, I want to drink tea and watch tv. I want to go out for lunch dates. I want to be able to go to work without dreading it everyday. I want to go to sleep easily. I want to not be scared anymore. I want to look out of the window for the scenery not out if blankness. I want to do more. I want to be more.

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I just got rejected from camp America because I have a past of mental illness even though I've been in recovery for 3 years 😡

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anonymous submission

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I want you to imagine a ten year old version of yourself sitting right there on this couch. Now this is the little girl who first believed that she was fat, and ugly, and an embarrassment.

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make me choose: brucas or leyton? asked by bassward.

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Lucas Scott is the reason why I have such high expectations when it comes to relationships and boys.

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The Royal Tenenbaums, dir. by Wes Anderson (2001)

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Oh hello mania

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