asstheticnct

[asstheticnct]

Renjun: do you ever shut up?

Chenle: yeah, when I sleep

Jisung: no you don’t ??? you sleep talk!

[asstheticnct]

12 year old Jisung: I’m getting a medal at school because I put out a fire.. maybe that’s what I should be when I grow up!

Taeyong: a firefighter?

Jisung: a professional medal-getter :)

[asstheticnct]

Jaemin: go to sleep

Jisung: but hyung, there’s an ugly monster under my bed

Renjun, from the bottom bunk: what the fuck

[asstheticnct]

Ten: it’s not a big deal

Inner Ten: have a breakdown

[asstheticnct]

Doctor: *handing Jaehyun his newborn baby*

Doctor: I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it.

Jaehyun: *handing the baby back to the doctor*

Jaehyun: Please bring me the one my wife made.

[asstheticnct]

Jeno: you rate the members of our group by appearance?

Haechan: calm down, 23

[asstheticnct]

Jungwoo: Can someone please tell me how to change my Twitter password?

Jaehyun: FAQ

Jungwoo: Well FAQ you too, you rude bitch.

[asstheticnct]

Jisung: sometimes I talk to myself

Jisung: oh my god same!

[asstheticnct]

Jisung: am I adopted?

Taeil: no, you’re Jisung.

Taeil: why would anyone name you ‘adopted’? even if we wanted to, your name was already Jisung when we adopted you

[asstheticnct]

*at the teachers lounge*

Xiaojun: we can’t be in here!

Yangyang: why not?

Xiaojun: it’s for teachers only!

Yangyang: you’re a teacher

Xiaojun: no I’m not

Yangyang: right now you’re teaching me how to be a little bitch

[asstheticnct]

Interviewer: so what’s your name?

Hendery: Hendery without a ‘P’

Interviewer: but Hendery doesn’t have a ‘P’

Hendery: that’s what I said

[asstheticnct]

Doyoung: *throws fertilizer at Yuta*

Yuta: ???

Doyoung: so you can grow the hell up

[asstheticnct]

Taeyong: can you pass me the salt?

Doyoung: I don’t know, Taeyong, maybe if you didn’t hold Baekhyun’s hand last week then I would’ve given it to you.

Haechan, sipping his tea: I found the salt👀

[asstheticnct]

Winwin: I have feelings for you.

Hendery: Really?

Winwin: Yes, I feel you are a little bit annoying.

[asstheticnct]

Ten: did it hurt?

Lucas: when I fell from heaven? haha nice try

Ten: when you fell from someone’s butthole into toilet water u stupid piece of shit

[asstheticnct]

Sungchan: Damn I’m sick. I keep sneezing and I’m 6’1

Chenle: You’re sick because the rain hit you first, you stupid tall bitch.

[asstheticnct]

Kidnapper: we have your son

Doyoung: I don’t have a son

Hyuck in the background: IT’S ME, HAECHAN!

Doyoung: you have the wrong number