astairo

[astairo]

Crossover episode: Couples Therapy

It starts with.....

..you know what I was expecting... AND YOU DID, TOO!

Don't deny it.

I see you.

[astairo]

HEAR ME OUT YALL (brief Helluva Boss Apology Tour spoilers under the cut)

So we know that the party was basically a party to shit on Blitz—from the cake to party games abt stabbing him

Most of those people really hate him then

NOW LETS GO TO THAT GUY WHO FLIRTED WITH STOLAS.

WHAT IF HE ISNT WHAT HE SEEMS AND IS LITERALLY TRYING TO GET BACK AT BLITZ VIA HURTING OR GETTING W STOLAS??

I’m probably overthinking this and next episode would reveal that it was a one time thing, but I really think he’s a bad egg.

[astairo]

Hi!y.

I saw your post about wanting to write for hazbin and I was wondering if you could do a Lucifer x Angel!Reader who is Angel Dust’s sister? Like she had to come check on the hotel, If you’d like to add in another character maybe Adam and her were friends so when became a demon she went to visit him not knowing Angel was there, or she fell or something and they reunite and Lucifer falls in love at first sight?

Sorry if that’s a lot hahaha

I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

My Green Light

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

2.2k words

After news of the first man being in Hell makes its way to heaven, a fellow winner makes their visitational descent. Not long after, a short king’s wings couldn’t help but flap.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex, slight angst, fluff

A/N: Absolutely LOVE this one! This was also inspired by The Great Gatsby’s ‘My Green Light’ which is sang by our short king himself, unedited.

“It’s not fair, Sera!”

Sera looked at you, conflicted. It’s been weeks since the extermination and the council was a mess. “For the last time, Y/n,” the seraphim spoke sternly, “You are not permitted to go down to Hell. It is far too dangerous.”

You shook your head, “Adam is my friend, Sera! Hell is a terrible place, and a man like him needs some sort of reassurance.” She listened as you reasoned out, frowning. Adam wasn’t the best of angels, but he deserved a little company.

Eventually, she relented to your requests. She looked at your face and sighed, “I’ll talk to the council and see what I can do for you.” A flicker of hope grew brighter in you, “Thank you, Sera! Thank you!” She gave you a tired smile, “Keep in touch.”

With that, she left for her office. You smiled and made your way to Lute’s office, which also used to be Adam’s. “Lute,” you knocked once, “Lute?” The door creaked open.

The door swung open, revealing a very tired and disheveled looking Lute, “What?!” Her anger soon dissipated once she realized it was you, “Y/n, what’s wrong?” You offered her a sad smile, “I was talking with Sera, and we might have a chance to see Adam.” Lute’s attention was now on you, “Seriously? Like you’re not fucking with me?” You placed the upper pair of your arms on her shoulders as the lower pair grasped her hands softly, “I’m being serious! We’ll see Adam again and I can finally reunite with Anthony!”

Lute grimaced at the thought of your brother. She had told you about the meeting with the princess, only to reveal that your brother, Anthony, was in Hell. “The crazy porn freak?” she quirked a brow, causing you to sigh, “I suppose that’s one way to put it.”

“Y/n, you’re better off not meeting up with him. You’re too kind of a soul to even associate with sinners,” she reasoned. “No,” you shook your head, “I haven’t seen him in decades! You have the opportunity to see Adam, and I’ll take this as the opportunity to reconnect with family, Lute!” She watched as you pleaded and begged her.

Lute looked conflicted, “I don’t think I’m ready to even step foot in that shithole, Y/n. I mean, look at me,” she gestured to her missing arm, “They’ll eat me alive, and no doubt you, too.”

“Just this once,” you mumbled pathetically, “I’ll be careful.”

Lute frowned, “Fine, but no funny business. Last thing the council needs is a scandal between Hell and one of the purest souls in Heaven.” Your eyes lit up, jumping to wrap your arms around her, “Thank you, oh, thank you!”

You felt the tense in her shoulders relax, leaning into your touch as if it was the only comfort she’d had in days.

-

“Charlie!” Lucifer grinned as he burst through the doors. It had been days after they had finished the new hotel. “Dad,” Charlie greeted as she finished checking in a few sinners. Ever since the extrermination, sinners had been checking in left and right for a shot of redemption.

“I was thinking, we could build a duck—“ the king was interrupted by a groan. The royals turned to face the first man himself, who slouched onto one the couches. “What is this bullshit about ducks? It’s like fucking everyday with you. Do you do anything else other than being shit-faced, fucking losers?”

The king stiffened as he went to hit the man, only to be held back by his daughter, “Dad, no. Like everyone else, he deserves a second chance. Even if he doesn’t seem to be deserving of it,” she mumbled the last part but looked at her dad pleadingly. Lucifer’s shoulders relaxed as he sighed. He loved his daughter more than anything, and if this was how he could keep her happy? Then so be it.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to like him, sweetheart.”

Charlie smiled at her father’s words, “Thanks, dad. It means a lot that you’re here.” Lucifer smiled, “My pleasure, sweetheart.

The two embraced one another, only to be interrupted by loud straw sucking. Lucifer inhaled sharply as he glared at Adam. Adam, who drank a soda, looked at the two smugly, “Cut the sappy shit already. And don’t look at me like that, bitch.”

Before Lucifer could snap at him, the doors opened to reveal a very worn down Angel Dust. “Fuckin’ fuck, just make out already,” he groaned as he made his way to the bar. The two rivals stopped to stare at the spider in disbelief. “What?” the spider shrugged, “Come on, I can’t be the only one feelin’ the tension. Nothing a little hate-fucking can’t fix. Get me my usual, Whiskers,” he nodded to Husk who grumbled in response.

The two blinked before pushing away from each other.

“Oh, fuck no!”

“Not with that fucking shit-bag!”

The porn demon quirked a brow, “Just sayin’ the possible inevitable.” He turned to grab his drink and enjoy himself.

Adam and Lucifer made eye contact and grimaced. “Get the fuck out my way,” the first man grumbled as he walked towards his room. “I will!” the short king huffed and crossed his arms. “Can you believe him, Char-Char? Absolutely disgusting sinner behavior…” he trailed off as he watched her hug Vaggie. He looked at his wedding ring and frowned. “What was that, dad?” Charlie looked towards her father. Lucifer sadly smiled and shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later?” His daughter smiled sympathetically, “Are you sure?”

He nodded, “I’m sure.”

With that, he made his way up to his personal suite. He leaned on the balcony, staring up at Hell’s red sky. He looked back down at his ring finger, scowling. He grasped the ring and pulled it off swiftly. He pulled his hand back and threw it forward, only to keep his fist closed with the ring inside. He just couldn’t let her go. He led his closed hand to his chest, cradling it.

His moment of despair was quickly interrupted by a bright light in Hell’s red skies. Lucifer’s eyes widened and squinted at the light source. He thought nothing much of it. What could this mysterious light have possibly done for him? It probably was another lighthouse, or was it a signal flare? Nevertheless, he was drawn in, intrigued by it. The light suddenly beamed down to the ground, a faint zip roaring through the air. The king of Hell watched as the beam made contact with the ground right in front of the hotel with a crack. Debris surrounded the area, causing residents, including himself, to cough as it entered their lungs.

“What in the ever loving duck?” he questioned and coughed.

As the air cleared, a faint glow emitting through the dust caught him off-guard. He watched as the dust revealed what he could only describe as a work of art. Stunning, he thought, Absolutely stunning. He observed from his balcony, watching as your eyes looked around in awe and anticipation. He could feel your presence drawing him in. You looked up to make eye contact with the fallen angel briefly, sending him a smile before entering the building.

Without hesitation, he pocketed the ring and made his way down to the lobby. He shoved against sinners in his way, eager to see you again.

-

“Adam!” You squealed as you made your way to the man, jumping to hug him. You chuckled as he grumbled in response, inevitably hugging you back. “Bitch, what the fuck are you doing here? Aren’t you a little too sensitive for a place like this?” he chuckled as he roughed your hair up despite your protests.

“I am not sensitive, Adam,” you grinned, “It’s good to see you haven’t changed one bit.” He scoffed, “Hell isn’t gonna fucking break me, bitch. I’m no pussy.” You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He flicked your forehead, causing you to yelp, “Don’t fucking roll your eyes at me, bitch.”

“Watch me,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

He chuckled at your antiques, leading you to sit down on one of the couches, “How’s up there without me? Has everything gone downhill since the original dick is gone?” You sent him a soft smile, “Well, I wouldn’t say downhill,” he quirked a brow as you chuckled nervously under his gaze, “It just…hasn’t been the same without you.” He sprouted a grin, “Of course, bitch! Without the dickmaster, heaven is just as shitty!” You scoffed and hit his arm, “Ego!’ He yelped, “Don’t hit me, bitch! You do realize I am the original dick, right?” he whined. “Let me be sympathetic in peace,” you huffed.

“Whatever,” he muttered gingerly. A few seconds went by before he spoke up again, “So how is she?” You cocked your head, “She?” Adam sat up, looking serious, “Lute. How is she?” Your eyes softened, “She’s…she could be better.” Adam nodded, “And her,” he hesitated, “her arm?” You sent a reassuring smile, “Healing. Trust me, Adam. She’s getting better as we speak. She just misses you.” Adam lightly smiled at the thought, “Will she come and visit?” You paused to think, “When she’s ready.” He nodded and leaned back. You watched this with a soft smile, “You really care about her, don’t you?” Adam looked at you with sad eyes, “I do. I just wish I could’ve shown it better.” You pat his back gently, “I’m sure she already knows.” You two smiled at each other, only to be interrupted by the doors opening.

”I need a strong one, Husker,” a familiar voice groaned, causing you to sit up. Adam, who noticed your sudden pique of interest, sent you an encouraging smile, “Go and find out for yourself, bitch.” You smiled back before nervously standing up from the couch.

“Anotha one, Whiskers!” Angel called out, grinning at the grumbling feline. You made your way over to the bar, legs wobbly.

“Anthony?”

You watched as the sinner stiffened at your voice, He turned to face you with doubt and recognition, “Y/n, sei davvero tu? (Is it really you?)” You wrapped your arms around you, nervous, “Si fratello. Sono io, (Yes, brother. It’s me,)” your eyes looked at him with fondness.

Angel leaped from his seat and pulled you into him, whispering soft thank you’s and praises, “It’s been too long, sweets.” You wrapped your arms around him in return, “Way too long,” you mumbled against him. He pulled away and examined you, “Ya look just like me, just a little more modest,” he chuckled weakly, causing you to laugh too. “We’re family aren’t we?” Angel’s eyes widened at the mention of family, “Speaking of family, how are Ma and Molly?” he worried. “Mama and Molly are quite alright. They’ve been a little shaken up after they heard about sinner exterminations, thinking you’d been…” you trailed off as your shoulders slumped.

“Well, I’m here, sweets. I’m not double-dead quite just yet,” he chuckled as he hugged you once more. “How long till you go back?” he asked, realization dawning on him. “A few days. A week at most,” you frowned as sadness crept its way back into your chest. Angel frowned at the thought but shook it off, “Then I suppose we make the most of your time here,” he started to smile. You smiled back, clinging onto him, “What first?”

-

The two of you spent the whole day catching up with one another, laughing, crying, and reminiscing in each other’s presence. “And then I said,” he paused and got into character, “‘Fuck off, Val,” and walked away like t’was no one’s business.” The both of you giggled at his story, “Very brave of you, Tony. Always standing up for yourself without a care in the world,” you giggled and leaned on his shoulder, “To think your boss has the nerve to do this to you knowing you're under her royal highness’ jurisdiction is quite courageous.” Angel scoffed, “No kiddin’,” he clunk both your glasses together before downing his drink.

Both your laughter echoed throughout the hotel’s lobby. Unbeknownst to you, a certain royal stopped to stare. Lucifer hid behind a pillar, admiring how you lit up the room. “Heya, short king,” he snapped out of his thoughts when Angel spoke up behind him. He turned to see the spider holding another bottle of alcohol, “HEY—hi, fuck, ahem! Hello, hello, Angel,” he squeaked and stuttered, “Was just looking over the lounge, checking if everything was in order—“ Angel held a hand up to the king, “You got hots for my sister?” An awkward silence fell between the two.

Lucifer gulped and eventually nodded, “She’s quite the angel.”

The porn star snickered, “That’s Y/n to ya,” he looked and waved at you, smiling when you waved back. “Ya know,” Angel started as he looked back at the king, “She can do ya good. Help ya move on from whatever happened. Stop staying on red when you’ve got a green light right there!” Lucifer’s eyes widened as he looked back at you. The two of you made eye contact as you waved shyly. Smiling, he waved back before glancing back at Angel, “You really think she’d let me?”

Angel let out a laugh, “I know my sister like I know my hair. The question is would you let her?” The spider snickered and gave the king a soft nudge before heading back over to you.

Lucifer looked down and fished into his pocket, opening his palm to find his wedding ring. He looked back at you and smiled softly, “Maybe I could.

A/N: A part 2 is in the works!

Hazbin Hotel Taglist: N/A

[astairo]

Alastor: My partner need to be regal, powerful, clever, with the passion to take over Hell with me.

Reader: *Trips on the sidewalk and falls over crying because they stepped on a caterpillar*

Alastor: That one. I want that one.

[astairo]

Awe! Glad I was able to help 😁

The Jazz Overlord

Alastor x Reader

1.6k words

Alastor finds himself wrapped ‘round the classiest sinner in the Pentagram.

Warnings: Stalking, Valentino, lovesick(?) Alastor, fluff

In the heart of the pride ring stood an expensive jazz club. Inside you’ll find the classiest demons, imps, overlords, you name it. So it wasn’t a surprise an overlord such as Alastor lingered in the crowds. He often found himself at ease as he sat in his private booth. Jazz was his favorite genre, even back when he was alive. Every once and a while his mother would take him to their local pub, listening to jazz all night long. Despite the soothing nostalgia, another factor drew him towards the club. A melody he couldn’t seem to resist as it grasps him in a chokehold.

His eyes stayed glued to the songbird on stage, feeling warm and enthralled. His smile widening at the sight of you. No one knew how you managed, but you snuck up on Hell. You had appeared one day, singing all around the pentagram. Some say your voice was mesmerizing. Some say it was so alluring to the point of total submission. Sinners under your contract never disclosed how it happened as they themselves don’t even recall it. That’s what made you so dangerous. You were so unpredictable, so discrete. Even the most powerful overlords stay wary of you, the infamous jazz overlord.

Your enchanting notes hung in the air as sinners slumped staring at you in a daze. You sang to the point every sinner in sight was entranced. Chuckling, you made your way down the stage and towards the closer sinner. “Hello, darling.” You grinned as he looked up in a daze, “How would ya feel if you worked for me?” you cooed alluringly. You were in need of some staff members after all. The sinner’s eyes bulged at your offer before nodding ferociously. You hummed contentedly, summoning a contract, “Such a doll you are,” you smiled as you signed the contract and handed him a quill, “Just sign right here.” You gestured to the blank line on the bottom of the contract. The sinner nodded and started signing without any hesitation. Your grin widened as a powerful glow sealed the contract; the familiar chain made its way into your hand, indicating soul ownership. “Thank you for your service,” you pat his head, “Now you head on home and have a good rest. I’ll see ya in the morning,” You watched as the sinner obeyed and walked out the club. Humming, you faced the next sinner, “Hey there.”

Unbeknownst to you, Alastor watched with curious eyes. He found it amusing how you showed no empathy towards these sinners, taking advantage of their states for soul-binding contracts. Interesting, he thought, amused at your antiques. He watched as you collected and contracted a handful of souls, sending them back home without a care in the world. Once you’ve rounded up enough sinners, you make your way back to the stage, acting as if you’ve done nothing wrong. You scanned the room one last time before snapping your fingers. You watched as every sinner in the room came back to their senses, confusion sprouting throughout the club. You were quick to avert their attention to you as you hummed a tune. Your voice managed to wash away their worries once more, leaving your schemes forgotten.

Alastor chuckled quietly, glancing at his shadow. “Keep your eyes on her,” he spoke to it, watching as it wisped away into the shadows. His smile grew larger and took one last glance at your figure. You looked completely harmless. If only people knew what he knew. He straightened himself up before making his way out of the club and back to the hotel.

—

You walked along the streets, head held high as sinners kept their distance. “Y/n, amorcito!” an all too familiar voice rang throughout the air. You looked up to find yourself right outside of VVV Tower. Sighing, you faced the insufferable moth, “Valentino.” His mouth formed into a twisted grin, taking your hand and giving it a long lick, “My offer still stands, you know?” You grimaced, wiping his drugged spit off, “Yet my answer stays the same.” Valentino’s face scowled, “I insist you take it.”

You rolled your eyes, showing him lightly, “No.”

Usually Valentino would stop here but he was persistent today. “I can make you a star,” he purred inching way too close for your comfort, “Think of the press, the articles, the headlines—Classy Songbird Gets Gangbanged By Staff Mem—“ A harsh slap rang throughout the air, gasps followed soon after. “Fuck—what the hell?” he snarled at you, “I’m trying to help you, you ungrateful whore!”

You scoffed, “And I said no.” Valentino’s fist clenched, moving to strike you. As you moved to defend yourself, a wisp of a shadow knocked him off balance. You watched as the moth angrily squeaked as the shadow tormented him. You were in no mood to get messy, so you took this as an opportunity to leave unharmed. Once you were far enough, the shadow ceased its assault and crawled back into the city shadows. Valentino panted as he stood disheveled, “What the fuck?”

As you walked away, curiosity trapped you in its grasp as you wondered what had caused the incident moments prior. It was all so sudden and you stayed wondering who was brave enough to stand up for you. As you continued your stroll, a sudden movement caught your eye as it hid back into the darkness. You hummed, looking at your shadow, “Find it.” The shadow’s ‘eyes’ brightened and zoomed towards the dim abyss.

You snickered and turned to see a group of sinners huddled watching something behind glass. Sinners made way for you as you looked to see the commotion. You stared down at the TV as it announced the new extermination date, Six months shorter? Ain’t that nice, you hummed before turning back around. Today has been eventful and you wanted to go home.

”Thank you,” you waved a Hellborn away, finishing your list of errands for today.

Your shoes clicked against the pavement as you made your way back home, only to stumble on an old poster. Quirking a brow, you bent over to pick it up and analyze it. The Hazbin Hotel, you read, some sick fucks you are if you think you’d get redeemed, you chuckled. Home can wait, you thought and looked over the address once more. Oh, this’ll be fun, you thought and chuckled into the musty air.

—

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,“ Charlie paused and awed mid-sentence at the ravishing overlord in front of her, “a place of redemption and rehabilitation.” By now, everyone had their eyes trained on the visitor. “Why this is,” you said as you looked around, “abysmal, but it can manage.” The princess looked around nervously, “Well—“ you were quick to dismiss her and walked further into the hotel. The more steps you took, the more you observed. You glanced at the bar, only to be greeted by a grumpy cat and a flirty spider, “Hey there, ya look lost.” You smiled at the arachnid, “This hotel is as entertaining as watching paint dry,” you hummed, “Nothing a little jazz could help with!” The cat curled a brow at your sudden enthusiasm. Everyone watched as you snapped your fingers to a nice rhythm. With each snap, equipment appeared. Soon enough, a well-decorated stage stood in the middle of the hotel lounge.

Charlie walked up towards you, thanking you for the sudden appearance and gift. Your eyes shined at the princess, “Nonsense, Miss Morningstar! Anything for the royal family.” Chuckling, you whistled into the air, summoning a band and singers, “I gift you a plethora of my most elite jazz members,” you gestured to where they stood on the stage, “It’s like I’ve always said, modernism seems cool, but it’s nowhere unique as—“

“Old-school,” The radio demon chirped from the shadows, causing you to face him. “That’s, that’s right,” you straightened yourself up, “You must be a regular.” You watched as he stepped forward, “Alastor, pleased to see the jazzy songbird themself so up close.” You grinned, “Pleased to meet you as well,” you observed the deer from head to toe, “What a…prominent color scheme you have.” An awkward silence clouded the room as everyone stared at the two overlords.

The silence was soon broken when the door burst open, two familiar shadows are seen wrestling one another on the hotel walls. You and Alastor made brief eye contact before halting your shadows. You squinted, noticing the heart eyes Alastor’s shadow had adorned for your very irritated one. You turned back to Alastor, watching as his ears twitched, “So it was you stalking me.”

“I wouldn’t say stalking, darling,” he said through his never-ending smile, “It’s more of admiring you from afar.”

You laughed at his coverup, “I suppose I’ll let it slide.” Your ears listened as he let out a genuine laugh before speaking, “I am honored.”

Noticing how quickly the conversation was dying out, you made your way to the door as you bid the hotel residents their goodlucks and farewells. “Wait!” Charlie stopped you in your tracks, “Why don’t you stay with us? Forgive me if it seems like I'm exploiting you, but it would be really helpful if you performed here for a few nights. Get us rolling on with your jazz crew.”

You eyed the princess before nodding, “Great idea, your highness!” Charlie beamed and went to check you in.

“A few nights living under the same roof as Hell’s songbird? Consider me jolly and lucky,” Alastor grinned, leaning onto his cane. “Consider it a reward for being a stalker,” you pressed and chuckled at his face.

“What can I say? You’re really alluring.”

A/N: I might make another version where it’s more platonic than romantic if you guys ask lol

Hazbin Hotel Taglist: N/A

[astairo]

Hazbin Hotel Masterlist

—

Alastor

The Jazz Overlord

- The Jazz Overlord: Opening Night (Coming soon!)

—

Lucifer Morningstar

My Green Light

- Red Light (Coming soon!)

—

[astairo]

The Jazz Overlord

Alastor x Reader

1.6k words

Alastor finds himself wrapped ‘round the classiest sinner in the Pentagram.

Warnings: Stalking, Valentino, lovesick(?) Alastor, fluff

In the heart of the pride ring stood an expensive jazz club. Inside you’ll find the classiest demons, imps, overlords, you name it. So it wasn’t a surprise an overlord such as Alastor lingered in the crowds. He often found himself at ease as he sat in his private booth. Jazz was his favorite genre, even back when he was alive. Every once and a while his mother would take him to their local pub, listening to jazz all night long. Despite the soothing nostalgia, another factor drew him towards the club. A melody he couldn’t seem to resist as it grasps him in a chokehold.

His eyes stayed glued to the songbird on stage, feeling warm and enthralled. His smile widening at the sight of you. No one knew how you managed, but you snuck up on Hell. You had appeared one day, singing all around the pentagram. Some say your voice was mesmerizing. Some say it was so alluring to the point of total submission. Sinners under your contract never disclosed how it happened as they themselves don’t even recall it. That’s what made you so dangerous. You were so unpredictable, so discrete. Even the most powerful overlords stay wary of you, the infamous jazz overlord.

Your enchanting notes hung in the air as sinners slumped staring at you in a daze. You sang to the point every sinner in sight was entranced. Chuckling, you made your way down the stage and towards the closer sinner. “Hello, darling.” You grinned as he looked up in a daze, “How would ya feel if you worked for me?” you cooed alluringly. You were in need of some staff members after all. The sinner’s eyes bulged at your offer before nodding ferociously. You hummed contentedly, summoning a contract, “Such a doll you are,” you smiled as you signed the contract and handed him a quill, “Just sign right here.” You gestured to the blank line on the bottom of the contract. The sinner nodded and started signing without any hesitation. Your grin widened as a powerful glow sealed the contract; the familiar chain made its way into your hand, indicating soul ownership. “Thank you for your service,” you pat his head, “Now you head on home and have a good rest. I’ll see ya in the morning,” You watched as the sinner obeyed and walked out the club. Humming, you faced the next sinner, “Hey there.”

Unbeknownst to you, Alastor watched with curious eyes. He found it amusing how you showed no empathy towards these sinners, taking advantage of their states for soul-binding contracts. Interesting, he thought, amused at your antiques. He watched as you collected and contracted a handful of souls, sending them back home without a care in the world. Once you’ve rounded up enough sinners, you make your way back to the stage, acting as if you’ve done nothing wrong. You scanned the room one last time before snapping your fingers. You watched as every sinner in the room came back to their senses, confusion sprouting throughout the club. You were quick to avert their attention to you as you hummed a tune. Your voice managed to wash away their worries once more, leaving your schemes forgotten.

Alastor chuckled quietly, glancing at his shadow. “Keep your eyes on her,” he spoke to it, watching as it wisped away into the shadows. His smile grew larger and took one last glance at your figure. You looked completely harmless. If only people knew what he knew. He straightened himself up before making his way out of the club and back to the hotel.

—

You walked along the streets, head held high as sinners kept their distance. “Y/n, amorcito!” an all too familiar voice rang throughout the air. You looked up to find yourself right outside of VVV Tower. Sighing, you faced the insufferable moth, “Valentino.” His mouth formed into a twisted grin, taking your hand and giving it a long lick, “My offer still stands, you know?” You grimaced, wiping his drugged spit off, “Yet my answer stays the same.” Valentino’s face scowled, “I insist you take it.”

You rolled your eyes, showing him lightly, “No.”

Usually Valentino would stop here but he was persistent today. “I can make you a star,” he purred inching way too close for your comfort, “Think of the press, the articles, the headlines—Classy Songbird Gets Gangbanged By Staff Mem—“ A harsh slap rang throughout the air, gasps followed soon after. “Fuck—what the hell?” he snarled at you, “I���m trying to help you, you ungrateful whore!”

You scoffed, “And I said no.” Valentino’s fist clenched, moving to strike you. As you moved to defend yourself, a wisp of a shadow knocked him off balance. You watched as the moth angrily squeaked as the shadow tormented him. You were in no mood to get messy, so you took this as an opportunity to leave unharmed. Once you were far enough, the shadow ceased its assault and crawled back into the city shadows. Valentino panted as he stood disheveled, “What the fuck?”

As you walked away, curiosity trapped you in its grasp as you wondered what had caused the incident moments prior. It was all so sudden and you stayed wondering who was brave enough to stand up for you. As you continued your stroll, a sudden movement caught your eye as it hid back into the darkness. You hummed, looking at your shadow, “Find it.” The shadow’s ‘eyes’ brightened and zoomed towards the dim abyss.

You snickered and turned to see a group of sinners huddled watching something behind glass. Sinners made way for you as you looked to see the commotion. You stared down at the TV as it announced the new extermination date, Six months shorter? Ain’t that nice, you hummed before turning back around. Today has been eventful and you wanted to go home.

”Thank you,” you waved a Hellborn away, finishing your list of errands for today.

Your shoes clicked against the pavement as you made your way back home, only to stumble on an old poster. Quirking a brow, you bent over to pick it up and analyze it. The Hazbin Hotel, you read, some sick fucks you are if you think you’d get redeemed, you chuckled. Home can wait, you thought and looked over the address once more. Oh, this’ll be fun, you thought and chuckled into the musty air.

—

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,“ Charlie paused and awed mid-sentence at the ravishing overlord in front of her, “a place of redemption and rehabilitation.” By now, everyone had their eyes trained on the visitor. “Why this is,” you said as you looked around, “abysmal, but it can manage.” The princess looked around nervously, “Well—“ you were quick to dismiss her and walked further into the hotel. The more steps you took, the more you observed. You glanced at the bar, only to be greeted by a grumpy cat and a flirty spider, “Hey there, ya look lost.” You smiled at the arachnid, “This hotel is as entertaining as watching paint dry,” you hummed, “Nothing a little jazz could help with!” The cat curled a brow at your sudden enthusiasm. Everyone watched as you snapped your fingers to a nice rhythm. With each snap, equipment appeared. Soon enough, a well-decorated stage stood in the middle of the hotel lounge.

Charlie walked up towards you, thanking you for the sudden appearance and gift. Your eyes shined at the princess, “Nonsense, Miss Morningstar! Anything for the royal family.” Chuckling, you whistled into the air, summoning a band and singers, “I gift you a plethora of my most elite jazz members,” you gestured to where they stood on the stage, “It’s like I’ve always said, modernism seems cool, but it’s nowhere unique as—“

“Old-school,” The radio demon chirped from the shadows, causing you to face him. “That’s, that’s right,” you straightened yourself up, “You must be a regular.” You watched as he stepped forward, “Alastor, pleased to see the jazzy songbird themself so up close.” You grinned, “Pleased to meet you as well,” you observed the deer from head to toe, “What a…prominent color scheme you have.” An awkward silence clouded the room as everyone stared at the two overlords.

The silence was soon broken when the door burst open, two familiar shadows are seen wrestling one another on the hotel walls. You and Alastor made brief eye contact before halting your shadows. You squinted, noticing the heart eyes Alastor’s shadow had adorned for your very irritated one. You turned back to Alastor, watching as his ears twitched, “So it was you stalking me.”

“I wouldn’t say stalking, darling,” he said through his never-ending smile, “It’s more of admiring you from afar.”

You laughed at his coverup, “I suppose I’ll let it slide.” Your ears listened as he let out a genuine laugh before speaking, “I am honored.”

Noticing how quickly the conversation was dying out, you made your way to the door as you bid the hotel residents their goodlucks and farewells. “Wait!” Charlie stopped you in your tracks, “Why don’t you stay with us? Forgive me if it seems like I'm exploiting you, but it would be really helpful if you performed here for a few nights. Get us rolling on with your jazz crew.”

You eyed the princess before nodding, “Great idea, your highness!” Charlie beamed and went to check you in.

“A few nights living under the same roof as Hell’s songbird? Consider me jolly and lucky,” Alastor grinned, leaning onto his cane. “Consider it a reward for being a stalker,” you pressed and chuckled at his face.

“What can I say? You’re really alluring.”

A/N: I might make another version where it’s more platonic than romantic if you guys ask lol

Hazbin Hotel Taglist: N/A

[astairo]

I’m not writing a smut, maybe.

Update: Currently working on an Alastor fic :)

Update 2: Alastor’s fic is here! If people request it, I’ll try to publish a second one where it’s more platonic :)

[astairo]

Harry Potter Masterlist

Regulus Black

Courageous Serpent - Y/n Potter falls in love with a fellow outcast, Regulus Black.

—

[astairo]

Timothée Chalamet Masterlist

Status: Hiatus

Wonka (2023)

The Baker and the Chocolatier

- Part 1

- Part 2

-> DISCONTINUED

—

[astairo]

Masterlists

Crossed out - No longer doing.

-

Resident Evil: Village

-

Hazbin Hotel

-

Helluva Boss

-

Newsies: The Broadway Musical

-

Harry Potter

-

Timothée Chalamet

-

[astairo]

Fandom List

Crossed out - No longer taking requests

Bold - Main request that’ll be taken

—

I’ll write for:

Lady Dimitrescu/Karl Heisenberg (RE8)

Astarion/Wyll/Gale (BG3)

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Newsies (Broadway: Jack and Davey only)

Harry Potter

^ Hogwarts Legacy: Ominis and Sebastian only

Timothée Chalamet

—

More will be determined as I live—

[astairo]

Happy new year, my lovelies 😚❤️❤️❤️❤️

[astairo]

I have a regulus black request for you!

Reader is a potter but got into Slytherin and James hates her because she’s a Slytherin?

Reader and regulus are inlove but haven’t told eachother even tho everyone can see it

One day James is picking on her for being a Slytherin and she snaps at him and fights him and wins? I dont know something like that

And reader is in the hospital wing alone with regulus and he is verry worried about her and they confess to eachother basically just super fluffy at the end

Courageous Serpent

Regulus Black x fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, bullying, physical violence, threats, fluff

“Slytherin!”

Y/n would never forget that moment. She remembered how her brother’s gleeful face turned cold and sour. She could never forget the day she lost her brother. All because of a sorting. Their playful banters turned into cold insults and hatred. She felt unstable.

“Bloody disgrace!” Young James Potter sneered at his sister, bumping past her. “Jamie—“ his head snapped to her, “Don’t call me that.” Her eyes widened at his harshness, “But Jamie—“ he pointed his wand towards her, “I said don’t call me that!” Y/n’s lip quivered, overwhelmed and frightened, “I-I’m sorry.” James glared at her, “You should be.” She took a step forward, breathing shakily as he took a step back, “No, I can’t be seen with a bloody serpent.”

His words never left her mind. She would recall all the times he’d promised to be by her side, knowing he’d failed to do so. After all, he was one of the courageous lions, and she was one of the serpents. She had never felt so alone, so outcasted. A bloody disgrace.

“I understand how you feel,” a voice spoke behind the bookshelves of the library. Y/n’s head perked up from her balled up form, wiping her tears, “H-hello?” She looked behind her, watching as a figure emerged from behind the bookshelves, “It’s okay. My brother hates me, too.” She looked at the pale boy, “Who are you?” The boy looked at her tiredly, “Regulus, Regulus Black.” Y/n’s eyes softened, “Sirius’ brother?” Regulus nodded before taking a seat on the floor next to her, “I feel lonely, too.” She looked at him with pity, “You do?” Regulus nodded, glancing back at her, “Mother and father aren’t exactly the kindest people, and Sirius thinks I’m just as bad.” Y/n looked at him sympathetically, “I-I’m sorry you go through that, Regulus.” He shook his head, “It’s quite alright, Potter. Maybe we could be lonely together.” Her expression changed to one of adoration, “You don’t need to pity me. I’m sure you’ll be better off without me.” Regulus smiled at her, “I insist.” Y/n smiled softly, looking down to her hands, “But I’m just a bloody serpent, a disgrace even.” Regulus frowned, “You’re more than that,” he reassured, “You’re anything but a—“

“—Disgrace!” James grinned devilishly as he pointed his wand at Y/n. She felt herself lift off the ground, shrieking. She watched and listened as her brother and his friends pointed and laughed at her misery. “A flying bloody serpent!” One of the boys dramatically shrieked, causing the group to laugh harder. Y/n felt defenseless and vulnerable as she floated around. “Leave her alone, you gits!” A familiar voice rang out, Y/n’s eyes snapping open. She noticed Sirius scowl as James grinned, “Oh my, it’s Reggie!” James mocked as he turned to the pale boy, dropping Y/n harshly. “Leave her alone,” Regulus spoke threateningly, causing the group to snicker. James rolled his eyes, “Or what, Black? Adding that disgrace to your family tapestry won’t solve your issues.” Regulus paused and looked at him, refraining from saying words he might regret.

“James,” Y/n started to get up, immediately getting kicked down. Regulus noticed and rushed over, “N/n, are you alright?” He spoke softly as he helped her up. James scoffed and pushed him off, “Move. One serpent is plenty.” Y/n’s eyes widened when James grasped onto her uniform, harshly tugging her up, “You’re so easy to torment. A coward and a disgrace,” he grinned. Y/n winced at the insults.

Y/n winced as she stumbled through the castle halls, sore from James’ torment. James had gotten more courageous with his torments, getting more and more physical as time went on. By the time her fifth year came around, he was creatively ambitious. Hair dye, her vandalized dorm, itching powder. He even went overboard and attempted to spike her drinks, which she safely avoided.

“Tabby,” Regulus’ voice echoed in the empty corridor, “You’re limping. What’s wrong?” Y/n turned to see him walking up to her, distressed at seeing her state. “Don’t worry about it, Reggie.” Regulus shook his head, “No, I will worry about it, I will worry about you.” Y/n looked at him and smiled, "That's sweet, Reggie.” He smiled, “You’re all I’ve got when I think about it.” Y/n’s expression shifted into appreciation, “Thank you, Reggie. That means a lot coming from you.” Regulus smiled at her, “You mean a lot to me.” His words had her flustered, cheeks tinted pink, “Y-you mean a lot to me, too, Reggie.” He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist to support her.

Y/n quickly scowled, pushing away from her brother, “Enough.” James scoffed and looked at her in disbelief, “Enough? Who are you to tell me what’s enough? You’re just a bloody serpent.” Regulus heard this and went to step in. Sirius quickly tugged his younger brother back, making him fall into the ground. James snickered at this, looking back at Y/n, “That thing isn’t going to make everything better,” he sneered, “Stop wasting your time with that waste and actually make use of yourself.”

Y/n couldn’t contain herself, harshly shoving her brother back and pulling her wand out, “He isn’t a waste!” James’ friends snickered from behind, infuriating him, “Watch your damn words, serpent.” Y/n’s patience crumbled, spitting out a spell. She gasped as she watched her brother fly back into a tree, “I—“ Before she could apologize, a strong force hit her chest, causing her to fall back. She winced and looked to find her brother’s wand pointed directly at her, “How dare you,” he snarled. Y/n felt herself shrink under his deadly gaze, “It was an accident.” James only scoffed as he walked towards her, “Of course it was ‘just an accident.’ It’s always an accident, a mistake, when it comes to you,” he snarled and kicked her side, causing her to wince at the sudden contact.

Regulus’ eyes widened and went to help, only to be held back by his brother, “Let go!” Y/n’s gaze shifted to her best friend, only for James to harshly revert it back to him, “You’re nothing but a disgrace to this damn family, and that’s all you’ll ever be.” James’ tone was laced with venom and hatred towards his sister, showing no sign of remorse or guilt. “It’s the fact that I can hex you right now, and no one would care for you, you filthy serpent. Not mum, dad, me,” his grasp tightened around her face, “Not even him.” Y/n felt herself snap at his words, “Stupefy!”

Students walking past had stopped to watch the commotion, gasping as James flew back. In the matter of seconds, spells were thrown back and forth between the two. Just as Y/n raised her wand to cast another spell, James moved quickly and hit her. Y/n felt herself falling to the ground, harshly hitting her head. James smirked down at his work, quickly scrambling away with his friends when Professor McGonagall appeared hurriedly. Regulus quickly scrambled to her side and told her what had happened. “Thank you, Mr. Black,” she spoke worriedly as she looked down to the barely conscious girl, “I’ll take it from here. If you could please bring Miss Potter to Madam Pomfrey, I’d gladly appreciate it.” Regulus didn’t wait for her to finish and quickly helped his tabby up to the hospital wing.

-

Y/n awoke hours later with a raging headache. As her eyes fluttered open, Regulus was quickly there to comfort her, “You’re alright, tabby. You’re safe with me.” She looked up with appreciation, “Thank you, Reggie.” He smiled and handed her a small vial, “Pomfrey said to give you this once you woke up. I reckon it’s for your head.” She nodded, quickly drinking the substance. Regulus watched her sigh and relax into the bed, ultimately breaking the silence, “You have no idea how upset I was.” Y/n looked at him, confused, “What?” Regulus scooted closer, holding her hand, “Tabby, I watched him hurt you, and I couldn’t protect you.” She frowned, “You don’t have to protect me, Reggie—“ “I care for you too much.”

Y/n’s gaze softened at his words, “And I care for you too.” Regulus looked at her, kissing her knuckles lightly, “As much as I do, you’re too oblivious.” She cocked her head, “Simplify?” Regulus shook his head, leaning in and planting his lips on hers. Y/n’s eyes widened, ultimately closing as she melted into him. The two parted away, Regulus slightly trying to chase her lips. They stared at each other with pink-tinted faces and small smiles. “How was that for a kiss, tabby cat?” He whispered cheerfully. Y/n shook her head, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that, Reggie.” He gazed at her, “Now you don’t have to. By all means, kiss me however and whenever you want, my tabby cat. I promise you won’t regret it.” Y/n chuckled, “I could never regret being with you.” The pair smiled and embraced each other, better intertwined.

[astairo]

Saw Wonka yesterday, I was wondering if I should drop The Baker and The Chocolatier and make another version based off of the film.

[astairo]

this is the cutest thing you’ll ever see.

🥺💗

[astairo]

Timothée Chalamet is better looking than Tom Holland?

Timothée: I’m going strongly disagree on that. Tom is the ultimate Rizz Master. The internet knows this, Zendaya knows this, everyone knows this.”

YouTube credit to LADbible