asyouwillbe

[asyouwillbe]

I think I will always harbor anger towards you Even after you admitted your own faults it felt fabricated Like it made you less of the villain in the story

[asyouwillbe]

I'm not quite sure when I realized I was an adult. Just one day I suddenly had responsibilities and expectations that I could never live up to.

[asyouwillbe]

there is no one who can hurt me like my internal diaglogue she is an expert she is tenured she is constant

[asyouwillbe]

it's been 30 years

i've learned so much

except

how to love myself

[asyouwillbe]

“I’ll take you as you are, and as you will be.”

— Mark

[asyouwillbe]

You.

I love you so much more than I anticipated. I’ve got baggage & didn’t think I could open up so easily to someone so quickly.

But it’s you.

I think it was always you.

[asyouwillbe]

Somehow, you’ve completely intertwined yourself with me so that I can’t imagine life without you. And I’m ok with that.

[asyouwillbe]

I’ll never love another like you.

i loved you with every bit of me. my life decisions were made for you. i loved you in the most toxic of ways. in a way that did not allow me to love myself.

[asyouwillbe]

I believe two souls will always be fated to drift back together because of the stardust within their bones. It’s the compass of their souls. It tells the journey between finding each other, dancing as stars, all before being separated when crashing from the sky, as shooting stars. All to come back together again, because of an inexplicable gravitational pull. So, sure the universe does fight for two souls to be together.

S.S (via yunggaygod)

[asyouwillbe]

When you live in the same area as your ex, odds are you will run into them at some point. You imagine how it will go and the things that will be said. And then when it happens, all of that thought and planning flies out the window. 

For me, it was 2 years after. I’m a different person now. My hair is shorter, I have tattoos, and I’m over him. Completely different person.

He looked exactly the same. Like nothing had changed. Like it was just yesterday that I left. 

And it was an odd feeling, one I didn’t expect. I felt the walls closing in around me, my chest getting wound tight, and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I had imagined running into him, but I never imagined it would send me into a full blown panic attack. 

I didn’t expect that at all.

[asyouwillbe]

everything happens for a reason.

whether you believe in a god or some centrifugal force in the universe that pulls everything together,

everything comes full circle in the end

[asyouwillbe]

the story of us belongs in books that young girls read and makes them hope for a love like we have

[asyouwillbe]

I’ve come a long way. I can look back and see the path I have walked. I do not regret any of the choices I have made. They led me to you.

[asyouwillbe]

I'm really ready to know where I am, to know where I'm going, and not just know where I've been. I'm really ready to not view failure as just failure but also as an opportunity to grow and learn. I look back on past things that have fallen through and I can only seem to dwell on the amount of time I spent on those things that now seem like a waste.

I'm really ready to know who I am, who I'm going go be, and not just know who I used to be. I'm really ready to forgive myself for my faults and to not go round and round in a maze of "i can't change this because of this".

[asyouwillbe]

It’s interesting. I spent almost 4 years working towards a career because it genuinely made me happy & it was the first job that had done that. So I struggled and I sweat and I cried and I bled to this point. I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve realized what I thought was ‘forever’ really was not before, and I almost forgot how much it breaks you. Because ultimately you have to accept that it’s a wash. You have learned what you have learned and that’s wonderful but unless you can apply it elsewhere, it’s a wash.  So, I am no longer going to be a vet tech. Unless I can find some way to work with animals that has room for growth without going to management or becoming a veterinarian, I can’t do it. I’ve got goals, I’ve got ambition. I can’t achieve those goals if I’m making shit for money. And that’s what vet techs make. We put our heart and soul into our job- we put everything into it. And we don’t get much in return. And so I have reached the point where I have to make a decision. Stay or go.  I’m going. 

[asyouwillbe]

depression needs to fucking leave my brain

[asyouwillbe]

I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you   I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you    I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you      I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you       I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you      I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you     I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you    I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you I want to self harm but I don’t want to disappoint you