atleasttheresthis

[atleasttheresthis]

obligatory post today

[atleasttheresthis]

I hope this email rules you all. I hope this email finds you. I hope this email brings you all, and in the darkness binds you.

[atleasttheresthis]

need to revisit her model occasionally to justify all the work i put into it

[atleasttheresthis]

[atleasttheresthis]

[atleasttheresthis]

guy who sells his car to buy his bf a cock cage but then learns that his bf sold his penis to buy him mirror dice

[atleasttheresthis]

[atleasttheresthis]

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

[atleasttheresthis]

random 2000s lesbians on abandoned 16 year old flickr account you mean absolutely fucking everything to me

[atleasttheresthis]

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

[atleasttheresthis]

[atleasttheresthis]

Fuck dude I want to go back to my grandparent’s house with the two smushed burgundy couches and the hideous paisley print armchair. And the beautiful black coffee table with the tray of marbles on it, that my cousins and I would sort incessantly.

but I can’t. My grandparents have passed away. I watched the movers out carry the couches and the chair. I want to go back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore, and the love that came with it.

But I can’t.

uh oh i miss something i can’t name again. i want to go home to something that doesn’t exist again. does anyone have a gun

[atleasttheresthis]

[atleasttheresthis]

what a legend

[atleasttheresthis]

We are living in 2025 in the age of Big AI the fuck do you mean nobody has made an open source voice changer that doesn't suck yet. We put a man on the fucking man.

[atleasttheresthis]

you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)

he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.

he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.