austenesque

[austenesque]

Out of Context Pride and Prejudice

[austenesque]

Other authors: My heroine was a poor orphan. Pity her.

Jane Austen: Pft, orphans have it easy! My heroine has two living parents and three extra guardians and all of them are the worst...

[austenesque]

Even if you haven't watched Survivor, the reality TV show that is only marginally about surviving, keep in mind that to win, a person needs skill, but not too much skill (too skillful and people get scared and vote you off), as well as the charisma and people skills to build an alliance. So...

[austenesque]

#george emerson is straight-up not experiencing that view#I fear lucy honeychurch is not really focussed on brunelleschi either (via x)

A ROOM WITH A VIEW (1985)

dir. james ivory

[austenesque]

#the way she holds it out inviting elinor to fix it#but then still gets in there trying to fix it herself#marianne dashwood the ultimate ‘girl get out of your own way’ character#love youuuuu (via x)

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY (1995)

dir. ang lee

[austenesque]

#‘​congrats little dude that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it’ etc (via x)

AUSTENLAND (2013) dir. Jerusha Hess

[austenesque]

Ciarán Hinds as Captain Frederick Wentworth (Persuasion, 1995)

“A very fine young man indeed!” said Lady Dalrymple. “More air than one often sees in Bath.” “[…] Wentworth: Captain Wentworth of the navy.

[austenesque]

“As a friend.” Emma, that, I fear, is a word… Tell me, Emma. Have I no chance of ever succeeding? My dearest Emma, for dearest you will always be, my dearest, most beloved Emma, tell me at once. I cannot make speeches. If I… if I loved you less,then I might be able to talk about it more, but you…you know what I am. I have… I have lectured you, and I’ve… I’ve blamed you, and… and you have borne it as no other woman in England could have borne it. God knows I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. You-you understand my feelings..

EMMA. (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

[austenesque]

#lizzie just like yeah I know my little sisters are horrible#they're 15-17 years old of fucking course they are#me and Jane are allowed to say that#charlotte lucas can talk shit because she's Charlotte and she's been in the trenches of Big Sister Hell with us#you though#you should have stfu about five minutes ago and you're about to find out why#like you know how you feel about Georgiana#you just stepped on that landmine (via x)

Actually, I know damn well Darcy never sat down and thought about marrying Lizzie. If he had, it would have been a week before he was rounding up Bingley, sitting him down, and looking him in the eye like he was about to propose high treason and going, "Jane. You still down bad for her?"

Coin toss whether Bingley would actually get to answer before Darcy turned around and flipped over a whiteboard like

and launched right into the most detailed migration pattern known to Regency England to keep the extraneous Bennets as contained as humanly possible by rotating them between various Bingley/Darcy estates. Like, we're talking about trading them off for minor holidays a decade out kind of detailed.

"If you and Jane take them for Lady Day ten years hence, Elizabeth and I will take them for Michaelmas. We'll all be together for Christmas and Midsummer, so we'll divide the responsibility individually on those days."

This would be followed by thirteen different spreadsheets projecting joint expenditures so Bingley knows what sort of financial commitment he'll be shouldering and how to minimize it, what proportion Darcy will take care of, what the estate plans are in case Darcy predeceases anybody, when they should probably roll out various stages to keep it from affecting their respective sisters' ability to maximize their own husband-hunting--whole nine yards.

Darcy does not know that he'll probably be murdered when the Bingley sisters find out why he asked for their social calendars. He'd be marginally fine with that at this point, because the fucking Napoleonic War campaigns were not as meticulously planned as his roadmap to getting the other three Bennets satisfactorily married, and Darcy feels about as able as if he'd spent the last year on Elba.

It takes Bingley a few minutes to realize why this is happening, then he's like

"You proposed to Elizabeth?! Congratulations!"

Darcy... knew there was something he was forgetting.

That man would have kicked the Collins's door open with four binders tucked under each arm, dumped them in a pile in front of Elizabeth, and loudly announced that if they get married tomorrow he can have her entire family except for Jane extraordinary renditioned to the Scottish moors by Sunday and then been like

"Why are you yelling at me?! I promise you, it will work! You'll never see anyone in your family except for Jane again, I swear it!" when she starts yelling at him.

[austenesque]

With whom will you dance?

EMMA (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

[austenesque]

I think American Psycho and Emma could sit side by side as works depicting people hemmed in and almost stunted by their deeply mannered worlds and the expectations built into them; silly, useless creatures, yet constitutionally incapable of fully looking at that fact without spiraling into full-blown existential crisis.

Which leads me to conclude that I would have enjoyed Emma more if she had a chainsaw.

[austenesque]

NORTHANGER ABBEY (2007)

dir. jon jones

[austenesque]

Zelah Clarke, Timothy Dalton and Andrew Bicknell as Jane, Mr. Rochester and St. John from "Jane Eyre" 1983 version.

[austenesque]

[austenesque]

Kate Winslet & Alan Rickman in Sense and Sensibility (1995)

[austenesque]

#i feel elinor on a spiritual level

[austenesque]

Costumes worn by Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman for the wedding scene in Sense and Sensibility. From an exhibition at the Royal Pump Room Museum, Harrogate.