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avada-kedavrugh · 4 years

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hi :) could you write a draco x reader where she's been really stressed out and he's like 'wtf do i do' and panicking bc he has no idea how do deal with it? thank you :)

pairing: draco x reader

summary: you’re upset and draco doesn’t know what to do bc hes afraid of losing you.

warnings: angst, fluff

not sure how happy i am with this but here ya go!

You were always a firm believer that Saturdays were made for relaxing, for taking a breather from the stresses in the world, and letting your mind wind down. Saturdays were definitely not made for you to be sat alone in the bathroom, hands bawled at your sides, knuckles turning white as your teeth bared down on your lips to prevent the string of whimpers that would escape.

You were struggling. Not only were you struggling, but you didn’t have the bravery to admit it to anyone and you weren’t sure you even had the words to explain what you were feeling.

Instead, you let the stress build-up, let it taunt you at night, and keep you wide awake, let it leave a sickly pit in your stomach that stole your appetite, let it plague your mind, and snatch your happy thoughts. All the while, you put on a brave face and forced a smile for your boyfriend Draco, out of some strange fear – that you couldn’t shake off – over how he’d react.

You had tried to tell him, tell him you were stressed about the world around you, the growing rumors of Voldemort, the pressures your family put on you, but when you opened your mouth it all just seemed like too much and all that came out was an inaudible mutter. Draco had shot you a weird, interrogating look which sent your nerves into overdrive and so then, you decided you could deal with your stress all alone.

And now you were sat in the toilet, blotched eyes soaked with tears and trying to hold back sobs. Clearly, you were not as good as you thought at dealing with stress.

You inhaled, fixating on the feeling of the air rushing through you, trying to push out the feelings of anxiety that consumed you. Your chest rose and fell as your breaths finally came to a steady rhythm, your heart rate slowing, and your sense of calm returning. You sat in the new-found stillness of the cubicle, ears on patrol for any sound - any possible witnesses that you’d have to deal with - but all you heard was the drip of a broken tap.

You desperately wiped at your face again, scrubbing away your tears, smoothing down your crumpled sleeve and taking a deep breath, both to steady your mind and ready yourself, as you stood up and walked out the cubicle.

Draco had noticed something was up. Draco prided himself on knowing you, when you were around, he often tried dissecting your thoughts and body language, tagging your every movement carefully. He’d sometimes smugly think he knew you better than you even knew yourself. He knew exactly what every look you gave him meant, from the looks of arousal to the small flashes of anger, he knew it all and he cherished it all, though what he cherished most was the bright grin – one that always forced a small smile on his face - and the twinkling flash of your eyes and symphony of your laugh that rung through his ears which he had memorised on loop.

Recently, the number of times you flashed your contagious grin was decreasing and he knew something was up, he found himself working harder just to get a small smile from your lips or a hesitant chuckle. So now his mind pondered over what was making you act differently; in his darkest thoughts he was scared you didn’t want him anymore and the fear of that made him avoid the topic entirely.

He tried to rationalise it as school stress and told himself to remain calm but all he wanted was you. Maybe, he wondered when he tried to sleep at night, you were finally fed up with him, he knew he wasn’t always the best boyfriend, he could admit he struggled to express his emotions and would find himself pushing you away, he knew that you could probably find someone much better but he cherished and loved you – even though he had never told you that.

Selfishly, he didn’t want to lose you and so he hoped things would get better but as weeks went on he knew he had to approach you, ask you what was wrong, he noticed you were smiling less and yawning more, your eyes become decorated with lavender bags rather than the happy twinkle in them that he adored. He wasn’t really sure how to approach the matter. He was scared that he’d make it worse or that you’d utter the words that would ruin his whole world.

One day, when you seemed particularly withdrawn and upset, face pale and eyes riddled with worry, he decided he had to ask you. Even if his greatest fear came true, he knew that he’d risk losing you, just to see your happy smile again.

He didn’t really know what to do. Emotions were complicated. He had an amazing talent at putting his foot in things and didn’t want to do that this time. He wanted to make you happy and you seemed so fragile right now that he knew the risk and, frankly, he was terrified.

Finally, he had mentally worked up the courage and strode into the common room knowing you should be there, mentally reciting the words to say to you. And then his eyes searched for you, to find you, and to his surprise, you weren’t there.

He panicked at first thinking this was just a clear sign you didn’t want him, that you were avoiding him, that you didn’t want to speak to him. He was about to let his insecurities get the best of him when he heard someone mutter “Did you see that Y/N crying in the hallways earlier, must be trouble in paradise.” The voices around him all burst out into laughter and he could feel eyes reel over him.

Hands clenching, eyes blaring and a new state of determination fuelled by spite drove him forward as he stormed up to the group, and through clenched teeth he demanded.

“Where is she?”

As you left the cubicle, you took in the image of the strange figure in the mirror, skin faded, weary eyes adorned with bags and the remnants of tears, as you sighed, so did the figure, your reflection showing the true extent of your struggle. Taking a moment to take in the sight, checking every detail to see if you looked suitably presentable, your mind flashed to Draco, hoping that he wouldn’t notice your strange behaviour. Then you turned to leave the bathroom, leaving the grim reflection behind you and preparing to force a smile on your face back in the common room.

The first thing you saw as you opened the bathroom door was a blonde-haired boy pacing up and down the door, face wrinkled into a look of stress. As soon as the door slammed behind you and you were trapped in the corridor with Draco, his eyes darted up and looked down your form, scrutinising every detail before falling into a look of worry.

“Y/N?” His stony eyes flickered with softness as he took a step towards you, his hands reaching up to you before he quickly stilled, his hands falling by his side and his eyes flickered with a conflict. You could see a contemplative look on his face as he stared at you, his mouth opening to speak but nothing coming out. You returned his hard stare, the sound of breathing the only thing cutting through the awkward silence between the two of you.

“I was just about to come into the toilets but I, I didn’t know what to say” He admitted.

You remained silent, unsure of what to say.

“I know something is wrong Y/N.” Draco finally worked up the courage to say.

As your heart tugged with dread you snapped back “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Y/N, please, I-” His own eyes glazed over as he took a deep breath, steadying his words as he moved a step forward “I know something is wrong, so don’t lie to me. Even if it hurts me, please don’t lie to me.”

“It’s nothing really.” The downturn of Draco’s face made you immediately regret your choice of words.

“I know I’m not, I’m not the greatest boyfriend and I know you can do so much better but I lo- like being around you,” His voice cracking as he spoke as his hands began to tremble “you make me happy and I really do not want to lose you because I-I love you but if it’d make you happier if we broke up that’s also okay, I just want you to be happy-”

You looked at him for a second as you listened, eyebrows falling into confusion, you closed the gap between the two of you and wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight as his arms instinctively held you, stopping him in his rant.

“Draco you idiot,” You whispered into his neck as you held each other tight in embrace “You can’t get rid of me that easily, I love you too.”

His face pulled back, twisting with confusion at your words, bloodshot eyes staring at your face looking for any signs of deception.

“But I thought-”

“You really thought I didn’t want you anymore?” You continued “I’ve just been stressed about everything going on, I have a lot of pressure on me and I didn’t want to burden you with it”

“None of your emotions are ever a burden to me,” He muttered, sincerity clear in his voice. He held you for a while, both of you holding onto each other tightly, as if, if you let each other go just the tiniest bit, you’d lose each other. You forgot where you were for a second, transported from the empty hallways of Hogwarts to a universe where it was just you and Draco and your love for each other. Draco broke the comfortable silence by pulling back, his lips twisted into a smug look as he teased “You love me?”

“Yeah, I do. But you’re the one who told me they loved me first remember?” Teasing him back

“I can’t blame you for loving me, I am pretty great” His words dripping with amusement as he ignored your words, then his look changed into a one of sincerity as he kissed you.

Almost covered by the sounds of kissing you could barely make out as Draco murmured

“I love you darling, always will.”

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