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Wunderbar! ✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

Bonus Tank Dempsey server weapon

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I should NOT have eaten that entire box of cheez-its

I should not have eaten all those goddamn cheez-its

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@flowersandbirdsflyingfree neon jellies for you! 🪼

ID credit: 566924431 on 小红书

(please like, reblog and give proper credit if you use any of my gifs!)

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石垣島旅行

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Why's it so hard to find fucking anything in this town

(keychain preorder info coming soon!!)

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@shinmiyovvi this feels like Ultimis Gavi and Licia 😭

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@shinmiyovvi Pompom cake? :>

Source: sueshappybakes on Instagram

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Random check in:

How are we doing at this very moment? Doing aight?

Yeah, I'd say I'm doing fairly well rn! Just hanging in there as per usual, nothing too crazy.

I appreciate the check in, random anon, it means a lot 🥺💖

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Winter Irises:

The Lore: Post Cry of Fear Ending 4 is the canon ending states by the creator. Sick Simon begrudgingly attends a field trip “at least once to socialize” with a few mental health patients from the hospital. It’s at an art museum in Moderna Museet. He meets a tourist named Madeline who is staring at the same artwork of a crow. They are friendly and exchange numbers. They become friends long distance for a few months. Madeline has talked through to him many times during his episodes and Simon has been a comfort during her own.

Maddie swore off LDRs after the last time but sure enough, gives it one last try after Simon’s extremely messy confession over a phone call. It’s Simon’s first (and only) real relationship. And Maddie’s first time dating a guy after years (on top of never experiencing much milestones with one). Things aren’t easy as there have been times he went radio silent but only because his phone was taken away by hospital staff. But they otherwise have a very close bond with one another.

3 years of dating, Maddie decides to move to Sweden and surprises Simon by fighting with the Swedish courts to win custody as his healthcare proxy until death do them part. He no longer has to live in that mental hospital but still gets his meds from there, and also therapy once a week. They get married and live in quiet house in Bromma.

Song:

General Headcanons:

Simon was terrified at first. Madeline was abnormally compassionate compared to most. And she was the only one that understood him. But within a few months of friendship, he couldn’t ignore the magnetic pull anymore. His heart was practically screaming to pour his feelings out. Something about her felt important. This feeling was his intuition that he found the one in Madeline.

His confession was not as forced upon as it was with Sophie. He planned to say it during a video call. It wasn’t until the last minute before hanging up he stopped being quieter to blurt out “I love you, Madeline!” Because Madeline stayed without judgement, he was able to articulate his feelings better.

Often, Madeline will kneel on the floor and hug Sick Simon at his waist. He’ll rest his hands over her.

Early in the morning on weekends, they like to take a short boat ride around the lake by a near nature preserve. It’s best around Autumn with the fall foliage around them. They can’t really hike (or at least Maddie only hikes alone), so she gets Simon to flat land like the park where it’s accessible.

Madeline will lie down beside him on the floor while listening to DSBM / Alice in Chains. Maddie actually got Simon into their music. He finds Layne’s tragic loneliness to be relatable. In return, he has convinced her to enjoy some DSBM. He thinks its funny when some of the more aggressive tracks make her shocked.

Very mushy. Cannot and should not be separated. Simon is mostly the big spoon, but has let Maddie hold him when it’s too much to bear.

Simon and Madeline are best summarized in this old Swedish proverb: “Älska mig mest när jag förtjänar det minst, för då behöver jag det bäst.” (love me when I deserve it the least because that’s when I need it the most).

Simon’s depression makes him feel guilty. Knowing Madeline does most of the housework only hits him harder. The insecurities and all his trauma for the harm he has done to people in the past causes him to shut down for a few days. As much as he insists that she “deserves better than him”, she stubbornly shakes her head and continues to be there for him. Once he resumes from being more withdrawn and quiet, he makes up for it by tending to Maddie’s needs. It pains him to see her so heartbroken, even more regarding her past wounds from childhood neglect.

Maddie has CPTSD and scrupulous OCD. Believe it or not, Simon is bold to stand up for her and be a protective presence when her own troubles get to her. He knows when to be a strong yet peaceful person she can count on.

On occasion, there are fights in which Madeline has to keep any dangerous objects away from him. It almost always ends in Simon holding onto her for comfort and sobbing apologies.

Back to happy things now! Simon really likes cinnamon rolls. They remind him of when he was a kid going to his grandparent’s house. Maddie has made the effort to master them so Simon can always enjoy cinnamon rolls whenever he wants.

Both work from home. He does freelance photo editing and sells his photography/artwork. Shes works for some publishing company as project manager.

Both enjoy horror and will make a habit to watch scary movies or a compiled playlist of YouTube horror. Simon still has no idea what’s going on with Marble Hornets. Maddie won’t stop infodumping about Shaye Saint John.

They have a black cat named Amsel. He is a very sweet boy with a zoomie streak.

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Am I loved..?

Maybe I am. 💙

Ft. (From top to bottom, left to right): Lena Villanueva (fictional mother, belongs to Shin), Edward Richtofen (romantic f/o), @shinmiyovvi, @flowersandbirdsflyingfree, @radarthesleepdeprived

Thank you for showing me that I still mattered. This is for y'all <333

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So...I'm still alive. I'm tired, but I'm alive.

And what do I get to take away from that at the end of the day?

Am I enough?

Am I deserving of the friends I've made?

Am I...loved...?

.

.

.

Maybe I am.

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Heart Planet Shaker

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I'm sure being alive isn't supposed to be this painful

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I hate myself so much.

And this isn't normal hate. No. Far from it.

It's like a visceral hatred of everything that has to do with me

Like I could not hate anything more than I hate me.

I hate my face.

I hate my body.

I hate my voice.

I hate my personality.

I hate my flaws.

I hate my mental illnesses.

I hate how I can't even stand to look at myself. Not in the mirror, not in a picture.

I hate everything.

And I mean everything.

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i’m tired. but not just “didn’t sleep” tired. soul tired. bone tired. like my body keeps going but nothing inside knows why.