avecra

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - 9

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 6.9k

chapter warnings: soft!bucky is all heart eyes, fluff to angst, canon level violence

series masterlist // next chapter

The day of the wedding had finally arrived. 

Gloomy clouds covered the sky; the weather had not shifted much from the previous night, if anything more snow had filled the lands and mountains with more snow. A fog cloud settled over the snowy mountains. 

From the moment you stepped out into the corridor, servants, maids and guards were rushing in every which way. All of the townspeople had been invited, and preparations had begun before the King himself had gotten up. 

You made your way out of your chambers, adorned in the warm, fleece dress that Steve had provided you for the winter months, and made your way to Natasha’s quarters. Personal issues aside, you still had a duty to her. Pushing the anxiety down, as you always did.

She still deserved to have her dearest friend help her prepare herself for the day to come.

Even as sleep deprived as you were last night, you still clearly remembered Bucky’s confession. His arms holding you to his chest, his lips kissing your skin, over faded scars. He did not have to verbalize his feelings, you had already known. 

Perhaps the entire kingdom knew, the way he always had an eye on you, watching and observing from a distance. If you were in the captain’s presence, your safety was always his priority. 

But after last night, the way he delicately kissed the skin of your neck, how his lips danced across the base of your throat, where nasty bruises had once been from the vice grip of him, Bucky had left only goosebumps against your skin. 

He held you, loved you in such a way that you were not used to. 

Even though when you had awoken to the other side of the bed being vacant, you still had a smile when you first stirred in the morning. His declaration of his love for you had been burning in your mind all morning -- you could not keep it from Natasha any longer. 

You had your suspicions that she already knew, but you needed to vocalize it.  

Furthering down the hall, you turned and pushed open the door to Natasha’s chamber, shutting it behind you. Your back stood against the wood for a moment, until you pushed off and made your way further into her room, where you found her bunched up in the sheets. You could not imagine the anxious feelings swirling through her right now. In just a few short hours, she would become Queen of the Northern Lands. 

The first thing you did was gently peel back her curtains, the gloomy sky did not offer any light, but it felt better than keeping them closed. Before you could do it, Natasha suddenly sat up in bed, arms stretched above her head. 

“Good morning, my dearest.” she mumbled sleepily, a gleaming smile on her face. 

You smiled at her, one that lit up your eyes. “A good morning it is, your wedding day!”

Helping her out of bed, you slipped a robe over her shoulders and led her to the vanity, where you grabbed a brush. Natasha eyed you in the mirror. You brushed through her tangled hair, gently brushing out the knots. 

“You are in a chipper mood today,” Natasha said with a smile, “I do not think I have ever seen you smile in such a way, lady.”

You felt your cheeks heaten up and you glanced at her in the mirror. 

“There is something I have been eager to tell you,” you said, beginning to braid her hair down her back. You tried to hide the smile, but the thoughts of Bucky, and the way his hands felt against your body. “Bucky and I… um, we have -- w-we have kissed.” 

Natasha was smiling so wide, you could not help but giggle. “I am not going to say I knew it… but I had a feeling.”

You smiled to yourself, nibbling on your lip before you spoke again. “He… he told me that he loved me.”

She whipped around, green eyes wide with excitement. “And? Do you love him as well? I mean, of course you do. I have never seen you so nervous around anyone like him before.”

Truth be told, you didn’t know what it was like to be loved by someone before you moved into the North. Natasha had shown you what true friendship was like, but you had never been loved in a way that he loved you. 

For too long, you had been subjected to harsh treatment, the only love you knew was that of what you read in fairytales. You had longed to have a life outside of the palace.

You had never been allowed to venture off in the village and explore, being subjected to the small closet that they had deemed your personal quarters.

No fireplace, a straw mattress that sat on the cold, damp floors. The thin blankets and flat pillows the king had given you. 

The many nights you were sent to bed without a meal or water, the many times you had beaten over a small mistake, they had forbidden the healer to tend to your wounds, as many nights you found yourself tending to your own injuries. 

The night the princes had locked you out in the horse's stable when a blizzard had passed through, and if it had not been one of the chef’s to open the door for you, gods knows what state your body would have been in. You truly wondered how you survived as long as you did. 

“I… I do not know what loving someone feels like.” you responded quietly. 

Natasha turned in her chair suddenly, green eyes focused on yours as she stood. “Oh, my friend, I think you know exactly what it is to be in love. I have studied you for months, Y/n, since the very moment we stepped foot in the kingdom. I have seen the way you are around him, the look that completely covers your eyes.” She paused to grasp your hands, “I have never seen you more full of like then when you are with him. You come back with life in your eyes, a smile that is not forced, true happiness.”

Or maybe you did.

You had ignored the fluttering feeling the first time Bucky had reached for your hand, pressing a kiss against the raised skin. The way he looked at you, ocean eyes looked at you curiously, eager to know you. 

You had tried to ignore how the thought of his strong, muscular arms that had held you many times made you feel. When he had wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you out of the way of a crashing wagon, grasped onto your hand and yanked you out of the line of a punch by a drunk villager who had meant to punch another drunk. 

You tried to ignore the way it felt when he would leave you little tokens of affection around the castle; flowers on your bedside table, sweet pastries dropped at the front of your quarters every morning. On the inside, your butterflies erupted in your stomach as you would find little notes addressed to you hidden throughout the library. 

You tried to ignore every way he made you feel, but you could not rid them away. He made you feel safe, protected, wanted. He needed you just as much as you needed him. 

“I think you know the answer,” Natasha’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. Surprisingly to Natasha, you had let out a hearty giggle. The sight brought a smile to her face.

Nodding your head, you replied, “I think you are right.” Clearing and composing yourself, you sat her down once again. You only had an hour until you needed to start reading Natasha, as well yourself. “Is there anything you need before we start getting ready? Refreshments or something to eat?”

“If you please, my lady. Any type of tea is fine and if there are any muffins available?” she answered, looking up at you with green doe eyes. You smiled and dipped into a curtsey. 

“Of course, dear friend”

You squeezed her shoulder before you made your way out into the hall. The winter wind suddenly blew right at your face, and you found yourself missing your cloak.

The bitter cold winter chill passed through the halls, and you shivered, hugging yourself tighter as you quickly made your way towards the kitchens. The mountains looked beautiful, snow covered every inch of the once green forestry. It was a much more beautiful landscape than your previous home. If you would even call it that.

So lost in thought, you did not register the hand that reached out, gently grasping your wrist.

The terrified yelp turned into nervous laughter as your eyes settled on Bucky’s as he smiled down at you. An apologetic look of fear coursed through him as you brought your hand up to your chest.

“I am so sorry, sweet girl, I didn't mean to frighten you.” he said to you before leaning down to press his lips against your cheek, gently pushing you up against the wall in the most delicate way. “How are you today? Why don’t you have a cloak on? It will be freezing today.”

You shrugged, “I am fine, I forgot it back in the quarters, but I am merely fetching Natasha a morning snack. I think I will be fine, Bucky.”

Bucky looked skeptical towards you, but nodded, caressing his finger down your cheek, running along your jaw, the bottom side of your lip. “I just worry about you, sweet girl.”

You looked down, heart racing against your rib cage when he touched your face once again, and you whispered, “I know, but I can take care of myself.” 

Azure eyes looked at you. “I know you can. But I will take care of you anyways.”

Before you had the chance to say anything, his lips were suddenly pressed against yours, gentle as always. His hands slid from your cheeks down to your neck, softly caressing the base of your throat in the most delicate way. Goosebumps arose on your skin wherever he touched - a gingerness you had not learned until meeting Bucky.

“I am a very busy woman today, Bucky,” your voice was quiet, reserved as the knight pulled away, though his hands remained on your neck. But instead of malice, you were caressed with care. 

“I know, I know. You are as I am as well. I just wanted to wish you a good morrow, my love. Are you sure you won’t wear my cloak?”

You smiled and reached up, grabbing his wrist with a firm, but delicate grasp. “I am fine.”

Suddenly remembering the conversation you had with Natasha previously, you looked up into his eyes. 

He was never harsh with you, never angry or irate with you, even the times where you were dismissive with him. The way he treated you, the way he loved you. You loved him too, you realized. Missing his touch, craving his attention. He took care of you, unlike any man you had ever come across. He was the first to see you for you. 

“I…” you stammered, suddenly lost in your words. His eyes flickered between yours, waiting for you to say it. He knew the words sat on your tongue. 

He knew the words you were trying to say, but he never pushed or prodded. Though he did not need verbal confirmation to know what you wanted to say. 

“I… I need to get Natasha some breakfast prepared. She will need her strength today.”

Bucky nodded, still smiling down at you. “I will see you later tonight, sweet girl.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against your throat, whispering against your skin, “I know you will look beautiful.”

A sudden heat crept across your entire face, you bashfully smiled at him. “I look forward to seeing you as well.”

You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and then you forced yourself towards the direction of the kitchen, away from his warmth, his comfort. Natasha was still waiting, and she needed to be ready as soon as possible.

Though, you missed him the second you pulled away, missed his delicate hands, the way he held you, caressed you. 

He was nearly unreal to you. You had not met any other man as kind as James Barnes, as gentle and caring. 

Like nothing else mattered, only you. 

“Hey.”

Bucky’s voice carried throughout the corridor, and you glanced over your shoulder, and to your surprise, Bucky still stood where you left him, staring at you with a lovesick grin. 

“Save a dance for me tonight, sweetling.”

A smile, although it was small, made its way on your face. You nodded at him with the softest smile he had ever seen, “Yes, Captain.”

Eventually you pushed yourself in the direction of the kitchen, quickly gathering a cup of tea and a muffin on a tray. Though his words had made you smile, it had slowly drifted away as the day grew. The resounding words replayed over in your head, there was a pit forming in your stomach. 

Taking a deep breath in, you straightened your posture, composed yourself and carried the tray back to Natasha’s quarters, and began to ready her for the big day. 

From outside her room, the castle buzzed the entire time you spent getting her ready. Orders were being shouted every couple of minutes, but you paid them no attention. 

Instead, you were focused on Natasha, and braiding her hair the way she requested. On doing anything she wished for. It was her special day, and you intended it to be perfect.

“You and the Captain are such a lovely pairing. I hope to see you two together tonight.”

“He is to be on duty tonight, protecting everyone. And I will have to attend to you and anything that you shall need.” 

Natasha caught your eye in the mirror and sighed deeply. “What if I want you to have fun tonight? To celebrate?”

I will celebrate when I know they are gone.

“Well, Bucky will be on duty tonight, so I will be celebrating with my lonesome as you will be with your new husband.” You retorted back, tying off the braid and finishing the final touches. “Besides, I am sure he will still try to sneak away regardless.”

“Because he is madly in love with you, my friend.”

You swallowed thickly; you were now aware of just how infatuated James Barnes was with you. And she had known all along. “I am aware of that now. But enough about me, it is not my wedding day, it is yours. Now, what do you think? We have time to make or remove any changes you would like.”

Red hair was curled at the ends, her hair pulled slightly tied back and braided down the back of her hair, an additional two braids , thinner, surrounded by wavy ends. 

“It is exactly what I was hoping for. You are amazing in every single way.” Natasha complimented you, “Which reminds me, as a thank you for all your help, I ordered you a dress, custom made specifically for you, my dearest.”

You looked at her, mouth agape as she began to pull out a beautiful navy blue dress “I know you are not a woman keen on everything galore, but I wished to get you this. To remind you of how beautiful you really are.”

The dress she showed you was beautiful. It was a simple deep navy blue dress, sleeves that flowed down past the wrists, a neckline that would only show your clavicle and a silver string that wrapped around, just below the bust. 

It was simple and perfect, something that she had picked just for you.

“I don’t know what to say..” you were at a loss for words. In the two years you had been with Natasha, she had shown you the true friendship you had always longed for. From the moment she had met you, she had shown you nothing but kindness. 

She never looked down upon you in the slightest.

“Thank you very much, dear friend.”

“No,” She shook her head and reached for your hand, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. “Thank you for being the best assistant, and just for being an amazing friend, and always being there when I need you the most. The countless times your presence has calmed me, you have no idea.”

You hugged her back with just as much force. “It has been my pleasure. And I will continue to be here for as long as you need. Obviously, by the end of the night you will be married to your love, but I will still be here. If you need me.”

Natasha pulled back and gave you the warmest smile. 

“Plus, the Captain will love it so much.” she poked and prodded and you playfully rolled your eyes.

She truly was an amazing friend. The best you could ever ask for. 

“Now, let us finish getting ready.” You pulled away from her and grabbed her wedding dress that was hidden behind the closet door. With a smile on your face to mask the anxieties you faced on the inside. 

---

The knight guard stood at all entrances of the grand room.

Dressed in formal attire, donned in shining metal armor, dark blue capes sat around their necks and sashes that wrapped just above where each sword saw, sheaths designed with the North’s insignia’s throughout generations. 

Captain Barnes began to make his rounds, and wouldn't let any guests begin to take their seats until he had inspected every inch of the room. 

“Well, don’t you clean up well, Buck.” The knight turned and saw Steve begin to make his way down the staircase that led into a smaller room. Bucky wore the same as his knights, only as the Captain, He wore a sash that ran across his chest, donned with the medals he had received from not only Steve, but rulers of both the South and the West lands.

He donned the same metal armor as his men, sword in its sheath. His hair was partially tied back, brown strands of hair came out from the tie and fell in front of his face. 

You had always said how dreamy he looked when he wore his hair like that. How handsome he looked. 

“Believe me or not, but I do wash up on occasion.” the captain jested before turning to look at his oldest friend. “And you look quite the same; always formal.”

“I am the King, Buck. It is almost always expected of me to be in formal attire.” 

A navy blue overcoat donned with all his medals, gold chains linking from the back to the front, gold buttons sewn in. A gold and blue sash at his waist, his sword at the hip, and his crown that sat on his golden hair. 

An outfit for a true king.

“Are you ready?” 

Steve took a deep breath in and exhaled. He had been ready practically from the moment Natasha had stepped foot on the land. 

After months spent apart, they were finally reunited with one another, and Steve couldn’t be more happier. 

“I am.” 

Bucky drew in a sharp whistle, and immediately following suit, the knight guard had begun allowing guests into the ceremony space. Each knight took his spot at each point in the room, where the royal couple would be protected at all costs.  

Steve had begun to make his way down to the head of the room, where he had shook hands with the priest. Next to him stood a table that held both of their wedding rings, and Natasha’s crown. 

Bucky did a last check off the room before the ladies were set to come in. The precautions he was taking were simply because of a snide comment from Pierce yesterday. If it was enough to have you on the edge, it was enough to put him on the edge.

---

“Are you ready, dear friend?” you whispered, adjusting Natasha’s veil. “You are about to become Queen of the North. I am so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness life can offer you.”

You handed her a bouquet of camellia’s, fixing and adjusting the strand of hair in front of her face. “You look beautiful.”

“As do you, my lady.” Natasha leaned over and grasped your hand. “Thank you for being here with me. It means the world to have my dearest friend next to me.” 

You looped your arm through hers and gave her one last smile before the doors had begun to open. She had gripped onto her bouquet tightly and took the first step, with you following her lead. 

Everyone around had begun to rise from their seats and turn towards the aisle, covered in flower petals. The light strum of a violin began to play in the background. You squeezed Natasha’s hand before moving further down the aisle. 

Scanning the room, Steve stood at the end of the aisle with the biggest smile you had ever seen. Knight guards stood at their point, though their eyes softened as the near future Queen walked down, looking beautiful and ethereal in the white gown she wore. Her red hair braided was a contrast against the white fabric, she looked angelic. 

Though you had been glancing at her the entire time, blue ocean eyes had been settling on you from the moment you walked through the doors. You knew his eyes were on you, though you had a duty to maintain. 

Deliver Natasha to her betrothed first. 

And as the two of you reached the end of the aisle, you respectively fell into a low courtesy, bowing to your ruler before you raised yourself and moved Natasha’s arm from yours to the King’s. 

“You look absolutely stunning, my love.” You overheard Steve murmur to his bride. Sam had offered his hand to you and led you to the side, where you were still within view of the couple… and in Bucky’s view.

Only when you pulled away did you look in the direction of Bucky. 

And his eyes were filled with nothing, but adoration. Cerulean sparkled in the candlelight as your eyes met his. 

Everything was distant. Suddenly, you could no longer hear the sermon being preached about love and unity. 

His eyes raked down your form, taking in every curve that the dress complimented you with. His stare never made you uncomfortable, because there was no malicious intent behind his stare. 

To him, you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. And in the dress you wore, with how your hair was styled, the silver rose pendant that sat neatly on your chest. 

You were perfection to him. 

Every so often, his eyes would tear away from yours, even for a second to scan the room. But they would find yours once again. 

No words had to be spoken to know what he was trying to communicate with. 

You are absolutely breathtaking. 

Just as Steve and Natasha had begun to place flower crowns on each other.

I love you. 

Just as they had begun to recite their vows.

I wish I could hold you forever in this moment.

Just as they had shared their first kiss as King and Queen in the North, his eyes never strayed from yours. 

You had been so caught up in him, so infatuated, so caught up in the moments so enamoured with him, your anxieties had completely withered away.

The newly wedded couple had finally begun their descent, and you quickly followed after Natasha, curious to see what the rest of the night had in store.

---

It was a beautiful ceremony, though your gaze had been fixated on Bucky the entire time. You didn’t tear your eyes away from him, not for a second. You couldn’t help the flutter of butterflies you felt in your stomach.

You swayed to the music that filled the ballroom, silently humming the tune of the current song. They had played it before, during one of the many festivals in celebration of the betrothed couple.

Watching the newly wedded King and Queen dance with each other brought a smile to your face. 

Quite possibly two of the sweetest souls, and they were perfect for each other.

“Pardon me, my lady, but you look too lonely for my liking.” You turned your head to see Bucky walking up to you, a smile on his face as he took you in. “You look… so beautiful.”

You could feel your cheeks heaten up as you looked at him bashfully. “Thank you, Bucky. You look very handsome yourself.”

Rounds of applause erupted around you and you tore your eyes off of the knight and looked at the royal couple, how they held each other with such delicacy, with love. 

You felt Bucky grasp your hand and you turned to look at him. 

“You are always looking at me.” you said, keeping his gaze.  

“I just think you are just the sweetest thing I've ever had the privilege of being near.” he simply replied. “And not only are you gorgeous, you are also one of the kindest, most gentle souls I have ever come into contact with. Even with your terrible past, all the abuse you face, you hold no hatred towards anything.”

You laughed nervously and swallowed thickly, pushing past the lump in your throat “Gods, I am so grateful I met you, James. You make me feel…me”

Bucky’s cheeks were tinged with a light pink and wanted nothing more than to pull you in for a dance, just the two of you. If he could, he would steal you from this life and build a new one, from the start with you. He would have raided the Eastern lands if he had known the torture and abuse you had been subjugated to. 

A small farm in the countryside, to do nothing but live a simple life of tending to a farm, perhaps starting a family of his own, all with you by his side. He could love you at any given moment, just the two of you.

“When I first met you, I swore to the gods above that you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.” 

You huffed, “I surely am not the most beautiful. Some of the maidens in town are far more beautiful than I.”

“Not to me.”

Cerulean eyes stared into yours as you looked over at you. A gloved hand grasped your chin ever so delicately, pulling you in closer to him. You felt all movement in your body suddenly became jellish. 

His chest piece pressed against the exposed skin of your collarbone. It was cool to the touch, but you were warm. Your eyes flickered between his eyes down to his lips. His touch could make you melt where you stood.

You had confessed your love to him, and there was nothing he wanted more than to kiss you endlessly, to hold you and love you. 

“I love you,” His lips were a breath away. “So, so much. I would do anything you asked of me, Y/n.”

You had opened your mouth to say something -- anything, but the sudden sounds screams and shouts, and Bucky’s attention was torn from you. 

The sudden charging of soldiers, donned in dark armor -- Eastern soldiers. 

The Captain did not waste a single second. 

With a sharp whistle, the knight guard had all unsheathed their swords, coming forth to form a barrier. 

“Get the royal’s out of here!” Bucky ordered the knights on the left side of him, to his right they stood at guard, knuckles tightened around the hilts of their swords. “Do not let them further into the castle!” 

With that, the knights began to charge, swords raised as they ran towards the attackers.

The East had tried to claim the North once, and they failed, They would fail once again. 

An Eastern soldier had latched onto your shoulders and nearly toppled you to the floor with him. A surprise yell had passed through your lips, but the hold was quickly lifted as Bucky brought his sword down against the soldiers, inserting himself in between the intruder and yourself. 

The knight kicked him in the chest before slamming the hilt of his sword against the man’s head. 

You stood behind Bucky, eyes wide. Eastern soldiers in the castle meant that their commander was near. 

Brock Rumlow and Quentin Beck would soon follow. 

“Are you alright, my lady? Are you hurt?” Bucky asked, coming up to you. You wordlessly shook your head, eyes tracking over the panic of the current room.

Bucky grasped your face in a firm, but delicate hold, pressing his lips against your quickly. “This is a serious situation. You need to go now, Y/n. I will come back for you, love.. but right now you need to get Natasha to safety. Hide somewhere - anywhere - follow Sam and listen to him.”  

Your eyes were full of terror, you felt paralyzed, frozen in fear. An urgent look in his eyes as they scanned the room, pushing you away and you fell to the ground, as another Eastern guard approached the two of you at a rapid speed, hailing a sword in his grasp. Bucky blocked a strike from the intruder, landing a kick against his chest that sent him flying across the room.

Bucky would never cause harm to you in any way, shape or form. He did it to protect you. To get you out of harm's way.

“Go! Get out of here! I will find you later, I promise!” 

You wordlessly nodded and scrambled to your feet, running in the direction of Natasha, who was surrounded by at least five knights and Steve, all their swords out at the ready. 

“Y/n!” Natasha cried out, reaching for you. “Oh my gods, my lady I was looking for you!” Green eyes mimicked your eyes, filled with nothing but fear.

Screams of the guests erupted, and you immediately latched onto Natasha’s hand. Despite the formal uniforms they donned, the knight guard did not hesitate to unsheath their weapons, charging at the incoming intruders beginning their seize of the kingdom. 

“Run, my ladies!” Sam yelled to you as he dodged a blow from an Eastern knight, landing a punch against the enemy’s face. “Run!”

“My Queen, I will find you later, I promise! Stay hidden!” Steve called out before charging into the pool or Eastern soldiers.

Not wasting a single second, you sprinted into the corridors, dragging Natasha with you. The moment you saw the grey banners, the snide comment from Pierce, you knew it was coming. You knew this was coming. 

Alexander Pierce always got what he wanted.

“What is happening?!” Natasha cried out, green eyes wide with fear, anticipation of what could happen. 

“We are being invaded is what is happening!” you replied, fear wavered through your voice. “You must hide, they will be coming after you!”

Eyes wide, you could not catch your breath, not when you heard the sounds of footsteps approaching, and they did not sound familiar. 

Without thinking, your eyes landed on the closet across the way, and you found yourself moving without thinking. 

“W-what are you doing?” Natasha whispered, and just as she was about to cry out your name, a yelp escaped her as you pushed her into the closet. She landed on the ground with a thud, and for a moment you wanted nothing but to express a thousand apologies. 

But not this time. Not when her life was on the balance. You were easily replaceable, she was not. “I vowed to protect you, and that is what I am doing.” you were firm with your decision and slammed the door, locking it from the outside. Natasha began to bang on the door as you dragged a table to block the door. Your name was muffled from the other side, begging and pleading to lock yourself in with her, but you did not falter. 

You could not lose her to them.

Not wasting another second, you sprinted in the opposite direction, hoping to have the time to find a hiding space yourself, just until the knight guard could contain the intruders. 

Just until Bucky could find you. 

But everything changed in seconds when a hand caught the back of your dress and forcefully slammed you against the wall, and suddenly a vice grip covered your neck. A pained cry escaped you, and you opened your eyes to see evil mahogany glaring deep into yours. 

“So, this is where you have run off to,” Brock Rumlow growled and leaned forward, sneering at you. “I always had wondered where you had gone, but now… knowing that you have been with our enemies the whole time. Just wait until Father lays eyes on you again.”

Terror took over your body as you laid eyes on the man that haunted your dreams, the all too familiar hands that had nearly killed you too many times to count. You were petrified. 

“But maybe he does not need to know that you reside here…” he said in a low tone, reaching behind him to pull out a knife, dragging it across your neck as he loosened his grip. “I could just kill you right now.”

The knife danced threateningly across your exposed collarbone, up the side of your neck, under your chin and across your cheek until he flicked the knife, nicking your cheekbone. You swallowed the whimper down.

“But you are not what we came for…” Your terror filled eyes flickered over to Quentin Beck as he approached, a sinister look upon his face. “...the Queen. Tell us where she is, and maybe my brother will show mercy on you and spare your life.”

There was no hesitation when you shook your head. You would die first before telling them where she was.

“No.”

His grip on your throat tightened suddenly and he pulled you back for a moment before ramming you back into the wall, this time much harder. Brock released his grip and you fell to the floor, coughing and gasping for a breath, vision doubling. 

“Tell me where she is!” 

You shook with terror, but you did not let the fear dictate your choice. You would lay down your own life even if it meant that she would be safe. With a firm shake of your head, you looked up at the two men, “I said no.”

“I see nothing has changed about her,” Beck spat down at you, turning to his cousin. “And what with her? Just kill her and move on - Father will not be pleased if we return without the Queen.” 

Rumlow sheathed the small dagger back into his belt and glanced around the corridors. The yelling from the hall had died down significantly, he noticed. “This was a failure.”

He growled to himself, turned his eyes down to you and a darkness suddenly washed over him. 

“If we return to him without the Queen, it is both of our heads, Brock! Do you not understand, fool?!”

A sinister smirk grew larger on Rumlow’s face as he stared down at you as you struggled to keep yourself up. The pain in your head began to pound, and you felt a warm liquid run down the back of your neck. A painful vice grip on your upper arm and you were forced up only to be slammed again. Your protests were quickly silenced when he pulled back and landed a punch to your face.

“Please…” you begged, whimpering as blood rushed out of your nose and down the front of your dress, crimson bleeding down into the navy blue. If it had not been for the tight grip he had on your arm, you would have fallen into a heap on the floor below. 

Blood seeped over the rose pendant that Natasha had bought for you, and before you knew it, Beck had ripped it off of your neck, throwing it across the hall. 

A cry escaped your lips. Your eye had started to swell, nose aching with every breath you took. Your nightmare had become a terrifying reality once again.

“Trust me, cousin,” Rumlow smiled as he saw how battered you were in front of him; bloody nose, discolored eye, bruised throat. “How will Father feel when he sees his favorite missing person instead.”

Tears began to gather in your eyes, your head shaking relentlessly. Even as they both grabbed your arms and began to drag you down the hall, you tried to stop them. Digging your heels into the ground with the little strength you had left. 

Just as Rumlow was about to raise his hand again, the door suddenly bursted open and Sam and Pietro came through the door, along with two other knights, Bruno Kreah and Herreck Goldman. Swords drawn, Sam’s eyes met yours and saw nothing but pure horror.

“Release her!” 

Beck held you against his chest, arms pinned back behind you with a knife pressed up against your throat. You did not move, nor did you breath, in fear that the knife would puncture your skin.

“One move, and it is her blood on the luscious carpet. Her blood on your hands, knight.” Beck taunted, moving steadily backwards, but with every step he took backwards, Sam advanced forwards.

Sam gripped his sword tightly, but did not make any move in fear of what they would do to you. He could already see the damage that was done, the blue of your dress tainted with the dark color of blood. He knew what would happen when Bucky found out.

Bucky. 

In a low, hushed voice, Sam whistled to Goldman, “Warn the captain.”

As the knight began to slowly backtrack, he slipped down the side corridor, unnoticed as Beck and Rumlow had their sole focus on Sam and Pietro. 

“Either the Queen or her lady, Lieutenant,” Rumlow pulled out the sword that sat on his hip, pointing it in Sam’s direction. “Your choice, Ser.”

You shook your head vigorously, tears cascading down your bloodied chin. “No! Let them take me. Please… spare the Queen.”

A menacing chuckle came from Rumlow, smirking at the knight. 

“You better wipe that smirk off your face before I wipe it off for you.” 

“Ah ah, Lieutenant Wilson, it appears the lady has spoken,” The vile Prince shifted his sword to point directly at your sternum. You stifled a cry of pain as the tip of the sword pierced through your skin. “You will let us walk out of here with Y/n, alone, or I will kill her and find the Queen myself. And my father will be very pleased with either or. Your choice, Wilson.”

Pietro unsheathed his sword and took a step forward, but halted in his steps as Sam held out his arm, pausing him. 

“Sam,” you gasped out, fighting to keep your focus on the knight. Brown eyes flickered to yours, and he could see the desperation in your eyes. “please, let me go.”

He had a guilt stricken look on his face, brown eyes mixed with betrayal and fear as he looked between Rumlow and you. He shook his head. The knight that was most gentle, one that had always laughed with you, protected you from afar, now staring at you from across the hall, watching your bloody and bruised body held up like a human shield. 

Rumlow sheathed his sword, gauging Sam’s movements carefully, as the prince had noticed all the weapons that sat on the walls of the corridor. “Well, I suppose everything is settled now-”

“No.” Sam opposed, raising his sword, about to charge, but Rumlow was quicker, more agile as he reached and pulled off a crossbow off the wall, and pointed it in Pietro’s direction. “No!”

Without hesitation, he fired an arrow into the young knight’s shoulder, mere inches away from his chest. The sounds of your screams overpowered Sam’s as he called out for his comrade, eyes wide with fear, terror. He had only hoped that Goldman had gone to warn Bucky.

The young man, barely the age of twenty, fell back onto the floors, cries of pain emitting from his throat, his eyes clenched tightly shut. Blood had begun to seep into the rug below.

“Maximoff!” Sam turned to his fallen knight, hands that were pressed into the younger knight’s wound, blood oozing between Sam’s fingers.

Rumlow threw aside the weapon and looked over at his cousin, nodding before making his way over to you. Strangled sobs left you as you hunched over in Beck’s hold, apathetic to the knife pressed to your throat. Your shoulders shook with every breath you took, and for a moment you could not catch your breath.

Strong hand gripped your hair tightly and pulled you up roughly and a scream came out, one you could not contain any longer. 

Everything hurt. 

You were scared, terrified as Rumlow was mere inches away from your face. 

“Comply with me, and no one else gets hurt.” 

“Pietro!”

His hand darted out and took a hold of your neck once again, this time in a more vice grip. He reached out and in a swift motion, smacked a candle stick against your head. 

Instantaneously, you were pulled into the darkness. Your body landed with a dull thump. 

Faint screams of your name was the last thing you heard before your eyes rolled in the back of your head and you were sucked into a world of darkness. Your body was lifted into the air, and the screams of your name began to dull out the further you ascended into the void.

“You belong to the Eastern Lands.”

---

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - 8

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 7.3k

chapter warnings: graphic depictions of physical abuse, nightmares, angst, hurt/comfort themes, mention/references of abuse/violent past and blood, protective!bucky times a million, but then fluffy soft!bucky

a/n - i am so so sooo sorry for the long hiatus ;--; pls forgive me as i present a new chapter a million years later

series masterlist // next chapter

Your hands trembled violently. 

The back of the chair pressed uncomfortably against your back. You heard as he paced back and forth behind you, talking to the knight that stood at the door. His movements brought you nothing but panic and anxiety. 

His hand anchored itself on your shoulder, talons in exchange of fingernails digging sharply into the already bruised skin. You held back a whimper, knowing it would only earn you another bruise under your eye.

“Tell me what happened during your duties today, Y/n.” His voice commanded you. Your eyes met his cold blue icy stare.

You had not meant to spill the hot water from the kettle onto the Queen’s hand. She had assured you that there was nothing to be worried about, but she was not aware of what her husband did to you in the dark shadows. You knew she would never tell her husband the things shared between you, but a certain knight always made sure to report back to the King.

He had to have known. He had to. Otherwise you would be in your closet of a room, rubbing ointments over the darkening bruises that you hid under your dress.

It was only an accident. 

“Tell me now before I decide to send you to bed with a broken jaw.”

Before you could say anything, you felt a stinging sensation slash across the back of your palm and you looked down, seeing a pristine slit begin to leak, crimson tainting your skin as it rolled down the back of your hand.

“It was an accident, Your Majesty,” your voice trembled, watching as Alexander Pierce wiped blood -your blood- off his knife with a napkin before sheathing it onto his belt. “Her Majesty’s canine companion frightened me-”

Your head snapped to the side harshly, eyes clenched shut, you swallowed down the whimper. Your cheek stung so badly, you bit the inside of your cheek to silence the cry that threatened to leave your lips. 

This one had come sooner than you had expected. 

“I do not want excuses from you, girl,” Pierce spat at you. You nodded silently, afraid to upset him further. You knew all too well what it was like when he was truly angry. “Even after all these years, you still have not learned a goddamn thing.”

His hand reached out and roughly grabbed your bicep, pulling you up forcefully and slammed you against the wall of his study. A grunt caught in your throat that turned into a low whine the tighter he squeezed your arm. You looked at him with wide, fearful eyes.

“This is all your fault,” he spat at you. “It does not have to be like this, dear. I would not have to do this if you only knew how to do the littlest of tasks! All of this,” He grasped your wrist tightly, showing you the fresh scars from throughout the past few days, remembering the dark bruises that covered your arms, “this is all your fault! It does not have to be like this.”

“Please forgive me, Your Majesty, it will not happen again, I swear it.” you pleaded, voice void of any emotion. He was right, everything was your fault. Pierce glared down at you, pushing you harshly against the wall before releasing the vice grip he had on you. 

“You are absolutely right, Y/n. This will never happen again. And if it does, I will not hesitate to feed you to the wolves. Now get out. For your own sake, I encourage you to stay out of my sight for the rest of the day.”

You slipped out of his study faster than you had ever been, wanting nothing but to curl up and hide away from the monsters that lurked within the halls. More specifically the monster that stood at the end of the corridor. The one whose hand gripped the back of your dress and slammed you up against the window, your head connected with the glass so harshly your vision began to darken at the edges. 

The real fear sunk in when his hand closed around your throat.

“Spilling hot water on my mother,” His voice growled out, teeth bared as Prince Brock Rumlow glared down at you. Your hand gripped his wrist as he completely cut off your air supply. “What a stupid mistake on your part. I thought you were a smart girl, Y/n.”

The darkness that covered your vision began to lure you in, until suddenly his strangling hold was pulled off of you. If not for the prince’s vice hold on your arm, you would have collapsed to the floor while coughing.

“Come on, cousin,” The chilling sound of Quentin Beck’s voice reached your ear and you flinched when he gripped your elbow, pulling you to your feet. “As much as we wish we could kick her out of the palace, we cannot kill her. Nature will take her life rather than us.”

Sometimes you wished asphyxiation would take over. Then everything would stop. All of the pain, all of the sadness would just… disappear. Then maybe you would find peace.

“You heard what my uncle said. Get out of sight.” Beck pushed you out of his hold, dusting himself off as if you were a peasant. To them you were not even a lady. Just the servant they pushed around. “Maybe next time, you will be smart enough to use your brain when doing simple tasks.”

Your knees buckled and you fell to the floor, tears slipping over your cheeks. Humiliation and degradation sunk deep into your bones. You went to push yourself up, but not before you were pulled back harshly, darkness pulling you in instantaneously.

---

Sleep did not come easy for Bucky. 

Instead, he spent the darkest hours of the night keeping a close watch on you, making sure you slept. He had worried about your sleeping habits ever since the day in the stables, when he had given you the little push to share your haunted dreams and trauma, where you had finally let your walls crumble and trusted him completely. 

Bucky was no stranger to insomnia at all. In all his years of fighting battles, losing comrades and brothers, malicious dreams attacked him in the dead of night, plaguing his mind with visions of his dead soldiers, the guilt of a captain seeing his own men with empty eyes and an x marked on their foreheads. 

Screams, whether it was him or the soldiers littering around him, dirt, soil and blood mixed on everyone’s faces. He had nearly lost his left arm in a battle against the Eastern kingdom, against the very man who haunted your own dreams. 

Though it was years ago, and he had pushed past it, Bucky used the built up frustration and anger to become a more skilled fighter, heightened his defenses, and became a more understanding, but firm captain. 

According to Steve, it made him a better knight and a better man. In a way, he understood you. 

“I was once you, sweet girl.” A whisper above the thrashing winter storm outside of the window. 

Bucky studied you closely, listening how the sounds of the winds whistled low and eerily, your brows suddenly furrowed. Eyes clenched and twitched, a deep inhale of air, as if something had deprived you of a breath. Your body twisted, legs twitching. 

A suppressed pained moan left your lips, your head suddenly turned,cheek pressed against the pillow. Something was wrong, Bucky knew.

Gentle hands found their way to your face, one had tenderly held your jaw, thumb caressing your cheek, and the other had been placed over your sweaty forehead, thumb resting along the bridge of your nose, tenderly massaging away the frown. 

A tear slipped down your cheek before a fearful gasp escaped your lips. Bucky called your name gently, wanting to ease you from your nightmare soothingly and his thumb traced down your jaw, along your shoulder and just as he barely grazed your elbow with a more firm calling of your name, your eyes shot open and you lurched forwards, almost gasping for air. 

Despite the warmth of the crackling fire from across the room, you felt nothing but chills as you fought to catch your breath. You clawed at your chest, panic surging through every part of your body. 

But then you remembered the warmth presence behind you, the gentle, familiar hands that ever so softly grasped your elbows, the lips that placed a kiss along your shoulders, nose brushing against your hair. 

“Just breathe, sweet girl. In and out, slowly,” His voice was deep, but soothing and gentle when spoken to you. And so you followed his instructions, taking slow deep breaths in, and slow exhales until you eventually found your breath again. “I am here right here, Y/n.”

Tears filled your eyes quicker than you could process, rushing over your eyelids, racing down the skin of your cheek, dripping along the chest of your nightgown. It wasn’t until Bucky wiped your damp cheeks did you realize that you were crying. 

Shakily, you brought your hand up to your neck, nails lightly brushing against the skin to see if the bruises were still present, if they had truly followed you from your petrifying dream. 

Bucky slid along the bed, so that he was facing you from the side. His hand reached for yours, gently pulling it away from your neck and closing your trembling hand between his. 

“It was about them, was it not?” Bucky broke through the silence, tenderly brushing your hair away from your face. 

You looked down in shame, nodding your head. You cursed yourself; you had been making such good progress with the nightmares. It had been weeks since a dream as terrorizing as the one you just experienced. 

“Are you okay?” Bucky’s voice was tender and soft, a look of worry on his face. 

Nodding, you looked over at him with teary eyes. “Of course

The knight could sense hesitation in your voice and he grasped your hand tightly in his. 

“Do not lie to me, Y/n. Please, tell me what ails you.” he begged. 

Eyes are the windows to a person’s soul, something Bucky’s mother had always believed, and if it were true, terror and fear were in control of your soul. 

“They will be here, Bucky.” you whispered fearfully, gripping the blankets. “I have to be alongside Natasha at all times, that is my duty as her lady. I cannot let my emotions take control over me, but I am too scared to think…” Your eyes trailed over the visible scars, knowing there were more under the layer of clothing. “To think of what happens when they see me? What will the King think of me then? I-I ran away from the East, all the way to Natasha. If they see me, they’ll take me back to those desolate lands.”

Bucky gently shushed you and reached over, grabbing your hands. He gave them a light squeeze and leaned forward to kiss your cheek.

“I know for a fact Steve would not treat you nor look at you in a different way. Rest assured that Natasha cares more about you than she shows. If you tell him about the Eastern King, rest assured they will not be allowed within a five mile raid within here.”

More tears gathered in your eyes. You shook your head slowly, hands trembling slightly as they covered your eyes, whimpering as a cry passed through your lips. The sight nearly destroyed Bucky. He reached for your hands, peeling them away from your face as he rested the heel of his palm against your jaw, his thumbs caught all of the tears. 

“When we were at war with the East, I fought against Brock Rumlow alone,” Your eyes darted up to him. “around the same time you had begun your work with the Queen. I was sixteen when I officially became a knight, the same year Steve took the throne when he was fifteen. Two years later we were at war against the men of Alexander Pierce, fighting every single day.” His hands never stopped caressing your nearly dried cheeks.

“One fateful night though, Eastern soldiers had snuck into the village, attacking the innocent townspeople; men, women, children. The screams that were heard, they still haunt me in my dreams. The coup was led by Pierce’s son, Brock Rumlow, and try as he might, he was unsuccessful. Not only did he get thrown through wooden doors by a very protective mare with her newly born foal, but I am the reason for the scarring to his face.”

Mouth parted in shock, you continued to listen. “I would be a liar if I said it was an easy confrontation. In the end, we were both weakened and he got me when I had my guard down,” he pushed his tunic down over his left shoulder, revealing a ring of scars forming where his arm meets his shoulder. Raised skin that still radiated a slight pink over his tanned skin, your eyes ran from his shoulder all the way to meet his eyes. “We only lost a handful of souls, but Steve made sure the East paid for it.”

You knew why he decided to share his past with you. You knew he wanted you to desperately tell the King.

“I am scared, Bucky,” you whispered. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against your temple. “Brock… when he finds me…he will-”

“He will not have the chance. I will be right by your side the whole time.” You leaned into his embrace and practically placed yourself in his lap, curling up against him. “I will not leave you.”

You felt your eyes start to get heavy, your head resting back against his shoulder, Bucky readjusted himself so that he was pressed back up against the frame of the bed. “Please stay with me.”

Your voice was barely a whisper, but Bucky heard you clearly. He held you tighter and wrapped a blanket around your curled form. “Sleep, sweet girl. I will be here in the morning.”

–--

The throne room was a beautiful sight, but in the very moment you found yourself facing the thrones that were made for the King and Queen of the North, it was a field of nerves. Especially when the King himself sat on his throne, a silver crown adorned with jewels from the deep mountains of the forest sat perfectly on his head.

You swallowed thickly, glancing over at Bucky to make sure he was still there. 

“Lady Y/n, what brings you here at this hour? It is so early, surely you would like to get your rest to prepare for the long day ahead.” The King was kind with his words, almost concerned. 

The sun was still hidden behind the mountains and would not arise quite soon, but you could no longer sleep until you had discussed this with Steve, and Steve alone. 

“I fear I could not sleep if I truly wanted to,” There was an emptiness to your voice. Perhaps it was the sleep deprivation, or perhaps it was the nightmare haunting you. “I uh-” you hesitated, until Steve took a step forward, coming down the few steps to face you. “I do not know how to say this.”

Steve held his hands out, urging you to place your hands in his and as you placed your hands in his, he squeezed tightly, reassuringly. “Whatever it is that ails you, I encourage you to share with me, Y/n. You are my beloved’s closest companion, and yet I feel as if I know nothing about you.”

It amazed you how kind and generous your new king truly was. In the four months that you had been living in the North, you had never seen a mean bone in his body. He ruled with genuine compassion and care for his subjects and his people, always visiting the townspeople at least every week. 

Everyone adored and loved him. You could not think of a single person with ill intent towards the King. Steve was a ruler that loved and took care of all of his people.

Yet he never raised a hand towards you in any way, even when you accidentally squirted lemon juice into his eye one afternoon, making tea for him. Surely you expected to be backhanded, but a gentle squeeze of your shoulder and a laugh, the king had forgotten it happened in the first place.

“Before I came into the care of Natasha, I worked for the royal family of the Eastern Kingdom. I resided in the East for eight and a half years of--” You sucked in a breath. “of mistreatment from the King and the Princes. Though I only worked strictly for the Queen herself up until her passing, even when I assisted her, they sought to use me. I fear the moment they see me, they will have control over me again.”

Steve shook his head vigorously and looked back at the two maids who had rolled back the curtains, revealing the sun beginning to peak over the snowy mountains. 

“In the Northern Lands, nobody has control but I alone. And I assure you, Y/n, nobody has control while you live in my territories. Now, let us figure a solution to prevent the Easterners from coming into the palace.”

Your eyes widened and you turned to Bucky. You never intended for them to be banned from the wedding, let alone the kingdom. 

“Your Majesty-”

“The only reason why Alexander Pierce was even invited was strictly for diplomatic reasons,” Steve’s voice resounded with a firm tone. “He and his armies have brought my people pain and suffering. He has brought the most unimaginable grief to my mother, to me, to my people. And I will ban his presence from stepping anywhere near my land or my people. And that includes you, Lady Y/n.”

Words did not come to you, mouth gaped open. 

“Natasha talks about you all the time, and she’s told me the things you have done for her,” his voice changed from firm to gentle in an instant, your watery eyes darting up to meet his. “Yet I feel as if I know nothing about you at all besides your love for literature. You are an enigma to me.”

No family would do that. Orphaned at a young age, you did not know if your parents abandoned you or if their fate had come to them so quickly. No brothers or sisters, no childhood friends. 

No place to call home. 

“I am in no way, shape or form like Alexander Pierce or his son and nephew. They have destroyed my family, killed my father, nearly killed my best friend and now he has brought an overwhelming amount of pain on you. He will not hurt you again, nor will he be allowed in Northern territory.”

“Sir-”

“No, Y/n. These men have hurt you, scarred you,” he held up your hands, raised lines of skin covering the back of your hands and wrists. “If this were to happen in the palace I ruled, your hands would not be covered in reminders of abuse. And if they were, those responsible would be banished.” 

“You do not know me, I am just a servant.” was the only thing you replied. 

What were you to say? Trying to differentiate Alexander Pierce and Steven Rogers was easy. Tearing away the years of physical, emotional and mental abuse even after a year of being under someone’s rule seemed to be the hardest part. Even now, looking up at the king. You had never met someone so kind and genuine. 

“You are not just a servant. You are Lady Y/n, of the Northern Lands. You are an amazing woman, an amazing companion to those around you, and such a gentle soul considering your traumatic past. Everyone truly is graced with your kind presence, even the palace staff, the knight guard. Please, do not think of me as that tyrant. I like to think I actually have a sense of humor.”

You chuckled, a lone tear making its way down your cheek. Steve let your hands go, gently placing them at your sides. 

“They will not step foot onto Northern territory. Rest assured, my lady, I will not rest until your fears have dissipated.”

This time it was Bucky who spoke. You looked over to him through tired, teary eyes. Gods and lords above, the only thing you craved was to just melt into the arms of your knight. 

“It is still at an early hour, Y/n,” Steve nodded to Bucky. “please go back to bed. Sleep if you can, we’ve a long day ahead of us now. We do not acquire your presence until midday. Now please, rest up as much as you can and I shall see you with my betrothed soon.”

Soft hands danced across your shoulders, down your arm until Bucky’s familiar hand grasped yours, gently urging you in the direction of the corridor. It wasn’t until now that you truly realized how tired, sleep deprived you were.

His hands never left you as he led you down the same hallway, the thought of him leaving you alone brought tears to your eyes, a few slipping down your cheek. Exhaustion settled deep in your bones, and if it weren't for the hold he had on you, to the ground you would have gone, like a sack of bricks to the floor.

“What is it, sweet girl?” Bucky frowned at the moisture along your cheek. 

Warmth covered your cheek as he held your hand tightly in his own.

“I do not want you to leave,” your voice came out more of a whimper. Your hands gripped his tunic. “Please, Bucky do not leave me alone, I-I cannot be b-by-”

His hands delicately held your face, his lips coming to gently press against your own, a gentle way to silence you. You nearly melted in his arms, hands coming to rest on his chest. The way he held you, gently cradling your head as if you were the most delicate being in the whole world, you had never been cared for the way he had cared for you. 

���I will stay by your side until my last day.” Bucky whispered against your flushed skin. “I know you are deprived of rest, my sweet girl. You need to sleep, especially with the festivities beginning late midday.” 

Once you reached your chambers, Bucky swept you into his arms, which emitted a surprised gasp from you, though you leaned your head against his shoulder and he walked you over to your bed. As every other time, he was as gentle with you as the last time. 

Placing you on the bed ever so gently, he readjusted the pillows, until he could see that you were comfortable. He covered you with the covers that kept you warm on nights as frigid as the winter storm began to pass.

You nearly succumbed to the slumber instantly, barely felt the knight’s presence slide into the bed behind you. Only a few hours would you rest, both yourself and the captain were to be ready to welcome guests into the palace for the dinner party. 

Eyelids drooping with exhaustion, you turned and pressed your face into Bucky’s chest. “I am scared, Bucky.”

The knight soothed his hands over your back, rubbing circles into your skin in order to calm you. 

“I know. But please, just trust me when I say that they will not harm you again. You have my word, my lady.” he whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss against your temple. “Please, try and get some sleep.” 

You peered up at him through sleep-lidded eyes, remnants of a small smile curving your lips. Though you were too sleep deprived to think straight, you trusted Bucky with every fiber in your body.

---

The chill of the winter air settled in your bones, feet shifting in the boots Ser Herreck Goldum had provided you with. 

Snow and ice crunched under your feet, walking alongside the King and the soon to be Queen. And just as His Majesty had promised, knight guards walked alongside the thrice of you. The Captain, alongside  five of his most trusted men; Wilson, Lang, Barton, Goldum and Maximoff. 

Strong and loyal men who would willingly fight and shed blood for their royals, as you would for Natasha. Tough exteriors to the men, rough around their knightly duties, but gentle in spirit. They guarded around the royal couple, swords sheathed at their hips, the Captain kept his hand on the hilt, ready for anything. 

You stood slightly behind Natasha, bowing every time you met royals from other lands and countries, everyone looked at you with a kind smile.

The heavy cloak that sat around your shoulders kept the winter chill from nipping at your skin. Courtesy of His Majesty who had ordered a cloak to be made for you the moment you stepped foot on his palace grounds. You wondered if Steve was real or rather a dream. 

No Lord or King had ever done that for you.

A light snowfall began to float from the skies, small specks of snow landing in your hair, one even landing atop of your eyelash. You shook your head playfully, the snow shaking away from the clutch it had on your hair, and you could have sworn hearing Bucky laugh under his breath. 

The crowds of people moving closer caught your eye, as well as the flags mounted getting closer with every second. Kings and Queens. Lord and Lady’s

It made you nervous with every passing second, dreading to see the familiar flag of the Eastern kingdom, the dark maroon fabric, two swords clashing with a small saying from the ancient language. 

You stood with a silent smile, bowing to every royal you encountered as both the King and soon to be Queen greeted their guests with kindness and gratuity. Every so often, you would turn your head towards Bucky’s direction to see if he was still behind you, and each time you were met with a gentle smile and cerulean eyes. 

The captain dipped his head slightly, his eyes worried, almost as if they could ask - were you okay?

You nodded and gave him a tight lipped smile. When you had woken up, Bucky was still there next to you, though there was a dread that sat deep in your bones. 

It damn near made you panic for a solid few minutes, but Bucky assured you over and over that they would not see you. He held you until your mind settled and only when it was nearing the middle of the day did he roll out of your bed, quickly pressing his lips against yours. 

Dark, grey clouds loomed over the mountains, you noticed. The once green hills were now covered in several feet of thick snow. You wondered how cold those woods truly were, the thought alone was terrifying.

“Everyone has been so kind today, dearest.” Natasha squeezed her lover's arm. 

The smile that was on your face, albeit a small one, disappeared when your eyes laid on the familiar dark grey fabric, the all too familiar insignia.

Nails dug crescents into your palms as you curled your fingers tightly into a fist. The panic began to swirl throughout your body, feeling the stinging on your palms as the brisk winter chill brush across the courtyard. Despite the bitter cold, you were too hot.

Bucky glanced towards you, eyes narrowed when you did not return his gaze. His eyes trailed down to your hands, where he saw droplets of blood begin to drip in the snow. The knight clenched his jaw tightly for a moment,  his hands ready as they rested on the hilt of his sword. “Which one?”

He looked towards you, awaiting your answer. 

“Grey.” 

Bucky whistled, grabbing Steve’s attention. Two other knights peered in his direction. 

“They are approaching soon. Dark grey flags are the Easterners. They are prohibited from entering the grounds in the North. Let us not forget the pain and suffering our lands went through at the hand of the monsters approaching.”  

Bucky nearly gritted out the last part. Steve nodded and both Goldum and Maximoff stood on either side of the royal couple, hands fixated on the hilt of their swords. Lang, Barton, and Wilson had stood by Bucky, while the captain had placed you directly behind him, in the middle of two other handmaidens. 

Bucky pulled your hood over your head, tucking strands of hair into the hood, so that you would blend in perfectly. Unnoticed. He then grabbed your hands and unpeeled them, wincing one he saw the bloody crescent shaped indents. Crimson dripped out of your hands and into the snow below. A bad habit you had picked up in the East.

“My lady,” he sighed worriedly, but you kept your head down, completely silent. Fortunately, Wanda spared a piece of her apron and tore a long strip off. Together, both Bucky and Wanda worked to wrap your hands quickly, before King Alexander and his monstrous kin approached. 

“I shall see to it that Lady Y/n’s hands get the proper treatment later this evening, Captain Barnes.” Wanda said in a hushed tone, and for that you were eternally grateful. The knight nodded and turned to you, dipping his head to meet your gaze. 

“It will be okay, sweetling. Trust me.” He tightened the hood and both handmaidens did the same. Bucky turned around and heaved a sigh, hand ghosting over the hilt of his sword. “Stay hidden.”

Wanda covered herself with a hood, sliding closer to you, offering her hand, but you were too anxious, too fearful to. But the young maid understood completely, moving her hand to rub up and down your back before drawing her hand back. 

Bucky glanced around, seeing the all too familiar crescent of the Eastern Lands, a grey slithering snake wrapped around a dagger. They began to get closer. A darkness began to loom in, Bucky could feel it. 

“They are approaching. Stay hidden, just until they are out of sight again.” Bucky dipped his head to catch your gaze. You were almost inattentive, disassociating. “The moment they are out of sight.”

He quickly nodded to Wanda and you, after turning around. He whistled, and his knight guard formed a barrier around the royal couple and the two maidens behind. His hand was perched on the hilt of his sword, watching their every move. His every move.

Brock Rumlow. 

Mahogany met cerulean, and from the moment Bucky laid eyes on him again, a darkness covered him. Though, as Captain of the Knight Guard, he had to keep his composure. There were still other monarchs around, some traveling with young children. He did not wish to traumatize any innocent folk, especially not that of a young child. 

“The North is to never associate itself with the darkness that covers the land in the East,” Bucky announced loudly to his men, as more knights followed from the gates. “Let us not forget these are the same men that burnt our people’s homes down, attacked our kingdom. They are not our allies. They are our enemies, and they are forbidden from stepping foot on this land!” His voice raised, with every intention for Alexander Pierce to hear.

Black armor covered the dark princes’ bodies, the emblem of the snake sat directly on their chests. They sneered as the two, Quentin Beck and Brock Rumlow, eyed the knight guard, until falling upon Steve and his bride. 

“Your Majesty, it is a pleasure to be here.” Rumlow bowed, though sloppily. Beck did as well, though his eyes settled on the future Queen. 

“A pleasure indeed. Pleased to meet your acquaintance, Lady Natasha.” 

Bucky stepped in front of her, hand gripped fully on the hilt of his sword. “You are not welcome here.”

“Is that so? Surely you are jesting, for this statement came from a knight.”

King Alexander Pierce’s voice made your skin grow cold. The voice that haunted your dreams, that plagued your mind at random times. The voice you so desperately wanted to keep away from.

You remained stoic, unmoving. 

“Steven-” 

Bucky stepped forward, hand fully gripped on the hilt, “You are not welcome here.”

Quentin Beck’s eyes raked over the captain’s form, though he was not nearly built as Bucky was. He began to take steps back, and Bucky picked up on it, 

“Do not make my knight guard cause a scene here, Alexander.” Steve said. “Let you not forget the pain and suffering you have brought upon my people.The pain you brought on to my mother.”

The King of the East simply chortled, stone cold blue eyes filled with disbelief. “Ah, my deepest regrets-”

“Take your regrets and shove it.” Bucky snapped, eyes boring into the KIngs, into the Princes’. “You are not welcome here!”

Brock Rumlow then stepped forward, bumping chests with Bucky. His brown eyes were filled with nothing but darkness, the same eyes the captain had come into contact with all those years ago. The same ones you had been forced to stare into. 

“Captain Barnes, how ill-minded of you to speak to a king in that tone of voice,” he reprimanded the captain, though he paid no attention to the pathetic prince. “if we were located in our kingdom, you-”

“And that is the beauty of it, Rumlow. We are not in the Eastern lands, now are we?” Bucky interrupted, his demeanor completely shifted to something more fierce. “Last I checked, we are in the North. You have no jurisdiction here.”

Rumlow began to push forwards, and the knight had enough, and forcefully shoved the price so hard that he slipped on the ice, landing on his rear. 

The sounds of swords unsheathing began to fill the air, as two Eastern knights, Jack Rollins and Grant Ward began to step forward, as did Wilson, Barton and Lang, swords in hand, ready for anything.

“I do not wish to repeat myself; you are not welcome here. Let us not make a scene in front of every other kingdom within the greater distance and ruin your reputation further, Pierce. The North has officially cut ties with the East from this very moment until further notice.” Bucky stepped forward, pushing Rumlow away from the royal couple and pointing his sword, as did the rest of his knight guard. 

Steve pulled Natasha away, just as Bucky had begun to get irate. Alexander Pierce forced a laugh and patted Quentin and Brock’s shoulders, halting them in their stance as they began to charge.

“Easy, you two.” the king began to retreat back to the carriage, as did the princes. “We must obey as we are in their land. But worry not, Captain Barnes, we will be meeting again. In the very future.”

Bucky did not like that, not in the slightest. He did not falter in his stance, not until the Easterners began to retreat, until they were clear over the snowy hills. The captain then released a heavy, tense breath. 

“I do not like that last message.” Steve came up to Bucky, concerned eyes that bored into his own. Bucky agreed, nodding as he looked back at your direction for a moment, though there was no change in your stance. 

The knight sheathed his sword back into place and soon his men followed in suit. “I will double the night watch when dusk comes. To ease your worries.”

Natasha watched as the two conversed, though her mind went straight to you. She quickly turned around and made her way over to you, reaching for your hands when she saw them wrapped in the fabric of Wanda’s apron. Specks of crimson peaked through the fabric.

“Y/n…” she began, and you looked up, eyes wide with tears brimming at your waterline. “They are gone, my dearest.” She reached out and wiped a tear that fell from your eye. “Captain Barnes will ensure that there is protection for us all tomorrow.”

You let out a shuddered breath, and Natasha glanced behind her to see only a few carriages left that were about to greet the betrothed couple. She squeezed your forearms and you nodded, taking in a deep breath. “I know he will.”

She gave you an encouraging smile as she stepped back into line with Steve. Bucky walked back to his position next to you, and when his eyes met yours, cerulean softened instantaneously. He could tell the panic and fear that surged through you when you heard the voice that haunted your dreams.

“He will not give up.” you said quietly, tears slipped over your cheeks. “They will be back.”

Bucky’s jaw was clenched tightly. He knew they would be. There was no denying the fact, not when Alexander’s Pierce’s final words before ascending over the hills; But worry not, Captain Barnes, we will be meeting again. In the very future

“Please trust me, my lady. The safety of the King and Queen is my only objective, and that includes you,” Bucky whispered to you, eyes boring into your tear filled ones. “As the Queen’s Lady, trust I will not let anything happen to you.”

You trusted him with your life, but Alexander Pierce was steadfast, tenacious. He would not give up until he got what he wanted. What he wanted, you did not have a clue. You only hoped that they did not know you were even here. 

You had only hoped. 

---

The rest of the afternoon felt numb to you. 

It was not long until Steve and Natasha began to make their way back into the castle, you and the rest of the maidens followed them back to the palace. 

A quick rehearsal dinner was all that was left in the day, you reminded yourself. You took your place in the hall, observing as Steve and Natasha began their routine, arms linked as they led each other to their seats.

It was nearing dusk, and you were exhausted from the day. From the very early hours of the morning, the few hours of sleep, the whole interaction hours earlier. It was a lot to take in, and your hands still needed to be tended to. You supposed you could do it yourself, you did not want to burden anyone else today. 

“Y/n?” You straightened up upon hearing Steve’s voice. He had begun to approach you with a soft, sympathetic smile. “Please, go rest for the rest of the night. I cannot fathom how difficult it was earlier today for you.”

Shaking your head, you began to detest, insisting you were fine.

“I hate to say this, but as your King, I am ordering your dismissal for the night.” he said, though he was jesting in an unserious tone, it brought a smile to your face. 

“Yes, Your Majesty.” you said, dipping into a curtsey. You smiled at him, eyes going from the king to your best friend, who smiled and winked at you. 

You excused yourself for the night and made your way into the halls, making your way to your chambers. You were relieved to be under the rule of such a kind, generous man. Total opposite from the  man you had been i close proximity merely hours ago.

Entering your space never felt so good. You quickly peeled off your dress and replaced it with your nightgown, desperate for a good night rest.

Before anything, you needed to get your hands cleaned. It would not be the first time you had cleaned yourself up. Just as you were ready to situate yourself, the door suddenly opened, and you could feel the presence of your knight.

You did not have to turn around to know that it was Bucky. 

“Hi,” you whispered, turning around to face him. He was dressed in a loose tunic and pants, he looked as though he was about to retire for the night as well.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he replied softly, making his way over to you as he gently grasped your face, thumb caressing your cheek. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. 

When he pulled away, he took your wrapped hands in his and began to untie the torn fabric, revealing the crescent indents from your nails, dried blood covered your palms. 

Without another word, Bucky began to reach for the medical supplies you had pulled out, prepared to clean the wounds himself. He guided you towards your bed and lifted you up, adjusting so that he made sure you were comfortable and began to clean.

You sat in silence, the damp cloth gently painted over your palms, ridding the dried blood away. When he spread the gel, the stinging did not affect you. You were so exhausted, the only thing you yearned for in the moment was rest and sleep. Before you knew it, Bucky began to wrap your hands in the gauze around your hands. 

“All done, sweet girl,” Bucky whispered softly, and he leaned down to press kisses against your bandaged palms. You smiled at him, softly thanking him before a yawn took over you. 

You stretched out your legs before scooting over to the other side of the bed, a silent invitation for the knight. The soft cotton of your sleeves felt soft against your cheek as you turned on your stomach, arms folding underneath your head. 

“What?” you whispered under his gaze.

“Nothing. You are just… so beautiful.” Bucky said, laying down on the open spot next to you. He sprawled out on his side, his arm propped up his head, chin resting in hand as he gazed down on you. 

Flipping yourself on your side, you looked at him , cheeks heating as he rested his other hand on your cheek, leaning forward to capture your lips in a long, soft kiss. 

He pulled away after several long seconds, dipping down to kiss your exposed neck, goosebumps littered your skin as he kissed the sensitive skin. You sighed, eyes closing shut as he kissed around the column of your throat. In all your years, no one had ever shown you the affection that Bucky had shown you. 

From the moment you stepped foot in the Northern territory, he had been instantly enamoured. Now, several months later the two of you laid in bed together, even after the stressful events of the day, you felt a moment of peace. 

Bucky pulled away from your neck, leaning down to kiss your lips once again, he whispered against your lips, “I love you.”

A small gasp left your lips, eyes opening as they made contact with cerulean. He caressed your cheek, hand brushing over your forehead, over your hair. “You do not have to repeat it back to me, but I wish to tell you how I feel about you.” 

Bucky ran his hand over your hair, eyes filled with nothing but adoration when he looked at you. You opened your mouth, but another yawn had overtaken you, eyes drooping. 

“I think it is time for you to get some proper rest, my sweet girl,” he whispered, bringing the covers over himself and you. He pulled you closer to him, so that your head rested on his chest. 

A kiss to your head, the world began to get dark and darker, until your eyes were fully shut. Within a few minutes, your breathing had evened out, indicating you had finally fallen asleep. 

Bucky wrapped the blankets tightly around you before he found himself starting to lull to sleep, his grip on you never faltering.

---

[avecra]

Dosed

summary: When you are laced with a deadly pathogen, the team finds themselves working endlessly to find a cure. Only it might not be enough.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 6.7k

warnings: canon level violence, illness symptoms (fever, cough, vomiting), angst on top of angst with a happy ending, bucky goes through many emotions

a/n: hi hello it has been a hot minute since I have been active im so sorry :( i had a lot of personal issues to deal with but now im hoping to be a little bit more active and post more stories :)

You could feel the heavy rumble of the jet as it landed on the muddy grounds. An overcast covered the sky and emitted a soft grey through the thick glass of the display of the jet, the light pitter of rain tapped against the window. 

Bucky’s gentle touch stole your gaze from the window to the super soldier, his fingers wrapped around the Kevlar vest and he began to tighten the straps around your shoulders, pulling them into place. 

“Do I really have to wear this? Steve said that the building is supposed to be empty,” you said, trailing a finger along the front of your vest, over the stitched ‘Barnes’ that sat over the thick fabric. 

“Yes, honey,” Bucky chuckled, tightening the straps over your back. “Just cause Steve says it’s empty doesn’t mean it is. I can’t risk anything happening to you, therefore you get to wear my vest.” He winked at you and tightened the last strap across your abdomen. “Gotta keep my girl safe, now don’t I?”

You smiled sheepishly and nodded, continued to watch him strap a few guns and knives to his body. Exhaling a tense sigh, you ran your sweaty palms down the side of your tactical uniform, Bucky noticed. “It’s gonna be okay, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” you whispered, grabbing his hand. “I’m not exactly equipped for these types of missions, I’m just a little nervous.” 

Bucky’s eyes softened when he heard the small crack in your voice, his hands encased around yours and he tenderly pressed a kiss to the back of your palm. “I’m gonna be right by your side the entire time.”

You bobbed your head, taking in a deep breath as Bucky gently slid a gun into the holster on your thigh. “But just in case.”

The two of you had been assigned to track down a lone mercenary in the middle of western Canada. The stormy weather had made it difficult for the jet sensors to get a read on the building that sat in a nearly empty forest.

A mercenary hacker under the name Roman Donovan had been on Tony Stark’s radar for quite some time, after noticing the many sudden security pop ups, indicating that Donovan had smothered his way into Tony’s tech. Both Steve and Tony had been working relentlessly to find a position on him, until a sudden location popped up. 

You had your doubts, whether you were the best candidate for this mission, but Steve had reassured you with your technical and computer knowledge that you were the perfect fit.  A squeeze to your hand reminded you that Bucky would be with you every step of the way.

With a nod from you, Bucky placed the small comm device into your ear, tapping it a few times so he could hear the breaths that left your lips. He slipped one into his ear as well, tapping it a few times until he could catch the chatter of the two agents in the cockpit of the jet. 

“Prescott and Logan, stand by. We’ll radio you in case we need backup,” Bucky announced, pressing the button that opened up the ramp of the jet. He turned to you with a soft, comforting smile. “It’s just a simple extraction of files,” he reminded with a gentle hand to your back. “Ready?”

A final nod of your head, you looked at him. Ready.”

---

The building had been vacant this far, Bucky had led the both of you to the control room where you rapidly typed on the main computer. Bucky stood by the door, sending cautious glances over his shoulder every few seconds to survey the dark hallway. 

“I’m almost done,” you called out to him, fingers dancing across the keyboard, desperately pushing into the numbers and letters faster. “It had more firewalls than I expected.”

Bucky glanced over in your direction, a frown taking over his features. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily. Just means this guy wants to keep people like me out of his stuff,” you mumbled. Bucky chuckled under his breath.

A few more clicks to the keyboard, you powered off the system and the flash drive ejected  out of the main computer. Stepping back, you watched the monitors as the files slowly disappeared from folders and main screen savers, until all the screens went dark. 

“I think I got it,” you muttered, eyes wide as they focused on the screens. The flash drive began to flicker a blue color, indicating that the files had transferred successfully without a trace of Stark technology.

The loud slamming of a door alerted Bucky, as he raised his rifle up, pointing towards the sudden sound. You pocketed the flash drive and raised your head at the sudden sound, eyes filled with confusion as they flickered over to Bucky’s alarmed blue ones.

“Get behind me,” You quickly made your way over to him and his hand immediately darted out to grab your wrist. Though you could feel the tension riding off his body in waves, his hold on your arm was gentle. “Stay low.”

You nodded and grasped the back of Bucky’s tactical vest, fisting the thick fabric. With a cautious foot forwards, Bucky stepped out into the hallway, taking slow, steady steps into the dimly lit corridor. 

Your hands made their way from the fabric of his shirt to his vibranium hand, and you gripped as tightly as you could, in a way to ground you. He couldn’t feel the tight pressure, but he could feel the weight of your hand in his. 

The two of you stealthily made your way through sets of hallways and stairwells, inching closer and closer to the doorway, until the loud slamming of boots against the tile floors halted you in your stance. Fear corrupted every fiber of your body, you couldn’t take your eyes off the panicked look in Bucky’s blue ones. 

You felt Bucky push you away behind him, before a sudden force knocked him to the ground, grunts passed through his lips. 

“Y/n, run!”

Not looking back, you trusted Bucky enough to know that he would make it out unscathed, with only a few scrapes and bruises. You, however, were not a field trained agent, with little  combat knowledge. You bolted the other direction, on the way to warn the two agents standing by in the jet.

“I need backup! Logan, Prescott, to the northeast side of the building, now!”

It wasn’t until you felt the pull of your vest and the weight of someone did you register your head slam against the ground, rather harshly. A strangled cry left your lips when you felt a needle puncture your skin, just at the conjunction between your shoulder and neck. 

His hand pressed down on your neck harshly, cutting off your air supply, but you were frozen in fear - he head injected something into your skin. You did not find the strength to fight back.

Fear paralyzed every fiber of your body.

Grunts and strangled screams were heard, you didn’t know if it came from you, but suddenly the weight was lifted off you, though you registered nothing of it. A few greedy breaths of fresh air. The pulsing of your heartbeat rang out in your ear, chiming and pudding against your skull. You laid frozen.

“Y/n is down, I have Donovan apprehended. I need backup, please!” Bucky spoke into the comms a moment later as he threw the hacker on his stomach and pinned his wrists behind his back. He was tempted to sap his wrist, but he held back. 

“Roman Donovan, you are a hard son of a bitch to find,” Bucky growled in his ear, reaching into his vest to pull out a pair of wrist restraints, tightening them to Donovan’s wrist. The man yelled in pain and discomfort.

Bucky glanced over to you, eyes softening when he took in your fragile form on the concrete. You just laid there, almost lifeless, but once Bucky saw the rise and fall of your chest, only a little relief came to him. It quickly rushed away when blue eyes focused on the empty syringe near your foot. 

“There’s a lot more pain coming your way. What did you inject her with?” Bucky yelled viciously, grabbing Donovan roughly by the hair. But the man simply let out a dark chuckle, eyes narrowing on you. The way weak coughs passed through your lips, the way you burrowed deeper into yourself.

“I know your weak spots, James Barnes.” was all he said. 

The hurried footsteps of Prescott and Logan reached his ears and Bucky abruptly stood up  and watched the two agents haul the mercenary to his feet and slam him against the wall, patting him, finding a gun strapped to his back and a small grenade. 

“Secure him to the panel near the bay doors. Bastard can fly out for all I care.” 

Bucky wasted no time in making his way over to you. A gentle hand soothed comforting circles up and down your arm, gently coaxing you and Bucky gently lifted you up in his arms and leant you against the wall, concerned as your head lolled back. 

“Baby, are you okay?” His panicked gaze flickered from the bleeding gash on your temple, to the light bruising around your neck, the small dot of blood at the conjunction between your neck and shoulder. He sighed, bringing a hand to rest on your cheek. “Y/n, answer me baby, what hurts?”

Your eyes were clenched shut and you brought a shaky hand to rest over Bucky’s, and you lifted your gaze to meet his worried blue ones. “I’m okay… I think.”

“You think?” Bucky asked, running a hand over your hair. 

“I-I don’t know, I feel fuzzy,” you mumbled, leaning your head back against the wall. 

Taking slow, deep breaths, you felt Bucky rub slow, soothing circles up and down your thigh. There was a buzzing sensation circling throughout your temples, down to your cheeks, along our jaw until it spread through the rest of your body. 

“Deep breaths in and out, baby,” Bucky whispered soothingly, leaning down to kiss your knee.

But then, in a moment or two, you felt it suddenly disperse. As if the wave of numbness rid itself out of your body. You allowed Bucky to help you to your feet, brushing his hands over the front of the vest before making sure you had no further injuries. 

“We’ll check you over at the compound,” Bucky said as he wrapped an arm around your waist and led you down the hall, following the two agents in suit. “Let’s get out of here.”

---

Bucky watched helplessly as he and Steve watched as Dr. Cho and her team scanned over your body. He couldn’t imagine how confused and scared you were, hands gripping the sheets. Your first field mission had been a complete disaster. Bruce walked in, the used syringe in an examination tube. 

“What do you think he injected her with?” Bucky asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

“It’s weird,” Bruce began, handing the folder over to Bucky. 

“I pushed it through a scanner, to see if I could find any sort of answer to what this is. All tests come back negative for a virus or disease. Has she had any of her symptoms progress on the way home?”

Bucky shook his head, “No, she’s just been… frozen, paralyzed almost. He has injected her with something; I saw the blood on her neck and it seemed like he had tried to… kill her or something.”

“You think he would?”

“Why else would he press his fucking hand over her throat?”

“That, I am not sure. So unless she starts to show signs of some sort of sickness, I unfortunately have no answers. I’ll check in with Tony, see if he has any answers. I’ll keep you guys updated.”

“Thanks, Bruce.” Bucky sighed, watching as the doctor left. He opened the file, reading over the diagnosis levels. “I still don’t get it.”

Steve hummed, taking the file out of his hand. 

“The only thing he said to me was ‘I know your weak spots’ and then called me out by name. But I have never come into contact with this guy, not even as the Winter Soldier. The dude is early twenties and lived with his grandma in east Maryland up until two years ago, living in some studio in Princeton up in Jersey. How the hell did he end up in Canada?”

“That doesn’t track at all. Unless he has dug up on all of us. He probably just wanted to get you by surprise.” Steve said. “Real name is Benjamin Croot. 24 years old.”

“Sergeant Barnes,” Dr. Cho’s voice broke through on the intercom. “She is asking for you.”

Bucky moved faster than he could process. He rushed through the doors and you turned your head at the sound of his boots. 

“Is she okay? She’s not hurt or anything?” Worried questions spewed out, his hands came to grip yours as tight without hurting you. He brushed his hand over your warm, sweaty forehead. “She’s warm.”

Dr. Cho nodded. “My team ran all the tests imaginable for this certain… situation. And everything came back negative, which worries me. If what Y/n described is true, then he must have injected her with something that is lethal or close to being lethal.

“She said to have felt numb, fuzzy almost. Those are usually the signs of a virus or even… a pathogen starts to form. But what I don’t get is that I could not find a single trace of.. well anything really.”

“Dr. Banner doesn’t have an answer either, though he’s checking in with Stark as we speak.” Bucky said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “What should we do? Keep her here?”

The woman sighed, pieces of her hair falling from the neat bun. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Part of me wants to keep her in the medical wing, just in case, but her stats are all normal, though her temperature is abnormally high.”

“How high?”

She flipped open the chart. You hadn’t really been present in the time either of them were talking. You were just so tired. Physically and mentally. 

“The last time I took it, her temperature was sitting at about 100.5, which isn’t that bad, but it’s not great either. So, I would advise to just rest for the night, and when she wakes up we will run a couple more tests, see if anything has changed.”

Bucky nodded, squeezing your hand as the doctor excused herself. 

“Whatcha thinkin’, sweetheart?” Bucky sat on the edge of the cot, brushing hair away from your eyes. 

“Tired.” He could tell your energy was scarce.

“Let’s go to bed then, hm.”

His movements started before you even had the chance to reply. As gently as he could, he slid his arms around your waist and shoulders and helped you up to your feet. The two of you made your way from the medical bay to the residential wing, to yours and Bucky’s shared room.

“Don’t you have the interrogation to do?” you mumbled, watching his features contort when he pressed his thumb against the scanner and led you into the room. In your fuzzy mind, you barely registered Bucky’s touch as he gently peeled your uniform off and slid your pajamas on.

“I’ll do it tomorrow. Besides it’s late, sweetheart and I think I speak for the both of us when I say it’s been a long day,” He gently eased you onto the bed, gently covering your form with a blanket. 

A shiver racked through you and Bucky watched with a concerned look as you tightened the blanket around your shoulders. He flicked off the lights and crawled into bed next to and wrapped an arm around your waist. 

“Sleep, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” You faintly nodded and relaxed into his hold, feeling his hands run smoothly up and down your arms. The faint glow of the television set and the low volume did nothing to tear you from your due slumber, though you faintly felt the coolness of Bucky’s appendage running over your hair before you slipped into a dreamless sleep.

---

Sweat coated every part of your body as you woke up with a sharp gasp of air. 

Pounding temples, you peeled your eyes open and sat up; the faint glow of the TV caught your eye. The movie Bucky played had finished and had been playing in an endless loop. 

The clock on your nightstand read 2:07am, you reached for the cup of water and took slow sips, barely and faintly registering the sounds of Bucky’s light snores. 

You felt the nausea before anything else. It ran from your stomach up to your chest and you clamped a hand over your mouth, threw off the covers and made a beeline for the bathroom. 

That was until a wave of dizziness hit you and your knees buckled. Vision tunneling, you would have fallen to the floor if it weren’t for the strong pair of arms that wrapped around your waist before you could touch the carpet. I’ve got you, a tired voice murmured, but your hazy mind didn’t hear the quiet mutter.

The warmth of Bucky’s chest touched your heated back as he sped to the bathroom, flicked on the light and watched helplessly as you crashed to your knees and emptied what was in your stomach into the toilet. 

Bucky kneeled behind you and grasped your hair in one hand and rubbed soothing circles along your back. He felt you slacken in his arms, head resting back against his shoulder and when he pressed his palm flat against your forehead, he almost hissed at the radiating heat.

“You’re burnin’ up, sweetheart,” His wide blue eyes darted to your half-lidded ones, cerulean darting over your sweaty, clammy skin. 

“I don’t feel good.” you croaked. 

It hit him in one, big wave as he took over your tattered form. The confusion, the fatigue, to your spiked fever, Something wasn’t right, considering the fact that you rarely felt under the weather.

Those are usually the signs of a virus or even… a pathogen starts to form. Cho’s voice rang in his voice

Weakly, you flushed the toilet and leaned back into Bucky. Shivers racked through your body and Bucky peeled your shirt off your shoulder to see a dark blooming bruise where Donovan had injected the needle. 

“FRIDAY, wake Steve and Dr. Cho. Tell them to meet me in the medical wing,” Bucky called for the AI and slipped his hand under your back and knees and lifted you up against his chest. 

You jolted slightly, dizziness clouding your mind as Bucky stood up. You were limp in his arms, like jell-o.

The cool air of the hallway felt like a slap in the face, you pressed your cheek into the warmth of Bucky. A low whine passed through your lips and Bucky ran his thumb just below the back of your knee. 

“Buck,” Steve called, eyes widening as they fell on your shivering form. “What happened?”

But Bucky didn’t stop his movements, he spared a glance to Steve and kept heading towards the direction of the medical bay. Steve followed Bucky’s fast pace, quickly matching his speed.

“Her temperature is too high,” Bucky said, glancing over at his friend. “When we checked into the medbay, Cho noticed that her temperature was a little higher than normal, but when she got up a couple minutes ago, she was burning hot.”

A slick sheet of sweat coated your forehead, Steve noticed, and how small tremors racked through your body every so often. His eyes fell to the darkening bruise on your shoulder, Bucky caught his eye. 

“I think she was laced with something.”

Your fingers grazed the fabric of his shirt and Bucky looked down, continuing his trek to the medical wing with Steve hot on his tail. You could feel the rapid thumping of Bucky’s heartbeat as you weakly bunched his shirt in your fist.

“Laced? Laced with what?” Steve questioned as he rounded the corner, eyes locking onto Cho’s at the end of the hall.

Bucky looked down at you, clammy skin, eyes barely open, though you kept a strong grip on his shirt. “I don’t know.”

Everything was hazy the moment Bucky set you down on the hospital bed. Though sweat coated nearly every inch of your body, shivers racked through your body relentlessly. It was sweltering and freezing simultaneously. 

Nurses rushed around you, obstructing Bucky’s view from you, one of them placed a cannula just under your nose, an IV into your arm. The thought of more needles sinking into your skin made you sick. 

The last time someone used a needle on you, he was malicious as he jammed the needle into neck harshly. The memory brought nothing but fear to you. 

You were hot. Uncomfortable. The pain in your head was nearly unbearable.

“Bucky,” you called out, only it came out more of a whimper. “W-where’s Bucky?”

Metal clamped gently on your hand, the other hand coming to smoothly brush your sweaty hair back. “I’m here baby, I’m right here.” 

“It… it hurts,” Bucky watched as another nurse attempted to put another needle through your skin, he noticed the subtle shaking of your head, the whimpers.

“Is that really necessary?” he asked with a sharp glare, it melted away when he looked over at you. “What is it, baby? What hurts?”

“My head.”

Worried eyes wandered over to Cho’s as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Sergeant Barnes, I understand you want to offer her comfort, but I can assure she is in good hands with my team.” 

Bucky nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. His finger trailed over your forehead gently, and when he saw Steve and Sam in his peripherals, he sighed to himself. “I’ll check up on you later, sweet girl. I have something to take care of.”

You nodded drowsily, the dizziness taking control. 

Bucky reluctantly moved away from your bedside to his two closest friends, solemn looks on their faces. Sam kept his eyes on you, watching as the nurses took your temperature.

“How is she?” he asked. Bucky kept his eye on you the entire time, watching your tired eyes start to close. 

“It’s not looking good,” Bucky sighed. “Her temperature is extremely high, nausea, light-headed and dizziness. Whatever this bastard did to her, he has to deal with me now.”

“He’s downstairs, whenever you’re ready.” Steve said, his eyes laying on your frail body. “It is 2 in the morning and one of my teammates is lying on a hospital bed with a fever of over 100 degrees and a migraine that’s probably killing her. Let’s get this over with.”

---

Roman Donovan sat in a cold, bright room, hands cuffed to the tables with two SHIELD agents armed standing at the entrance. A smug smirk sat on his face as he fidgeted with his fingers. His head perked up at the sound of the door opening. 

“Well, if it isn’t the mighty Winter Soldier, what a traitor you are to your own country, huh? I mean, working for the people who you literally fought against-” Sam walked behind him and gripped his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into his muscles. 

“I am only gonna say this once, so you better fucking listen to me. What did you do to her?”  

Donovan chuckled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, old man.”

Bucky shook his head, vibranium fist clenched. 

“You know, Roman, this guy isn’t too fond of repeating himself. Especially to arrogant assholes like you.”

“What did you do to her, Donovan?” Bucky was strangely calm.. “You know the woman you attacked earlier, the one whose throat you almost crushed after you injected her with drugs? She’s got three degrees in chemistry, computer engineering and computer science, so I get why you, a man of your personality, would go after someone who is not strong enough to put up a fight against you.” 

Steve looked on through the window, phone pinging. He pulled it out, the text from Natasha sent dread through himself. 

Temperature over 105, tests coming back positive for some type of influenza. Cho is really worried. Not looking too good for her.

“Shit.”

He went on and walked into the room, leaning over to where Sam stood. 

“So aggressive, James. And for what reason?”

Sam chuckled, crossing his arms. “If you think this is aggressive, you’re in for a ride.”

“I’m gonna ask one more time, and if I don’t get an answer, that means you’re straight up out of luck.” Bucky leaned forward, black and gold vibranium reached for the chain of his restraints and pulled him down, causing Donovan to hit his head. “What did you inject her with?”

The man tilted his head, blood dripping down his cheek. “What makes you think I injected her with anything?” he cockily sneered. “I thought all the Avengers were required to be knowledgeable in the field, cause let me tell you, Sergeant, that little girlfriend of yours is such an easy target.” 

Steve nudged Sam, leaning his phone towards his eyeline, showing the text message. Sam felt a pang of worry settle deep in his stomach, sharing a worried glance with him. 

There wasn’t much time left for you. 

Steve stepped forward, pulling Bucky aside to show him the text message. 

Blue eyes raked over the words he had been dreading the most. "Not looking too good for her.”

“Well Donovan, I want my answer.”

The man smirked. “Yeah? Or what?”

Bucky’s left hand reached out and grabbed a fistful of Donovan’s hair and slammed his head against the metal desk one time only, though it was enough to break the man’s nose. Screams of pain resounded in the small but soundproof room. 

“No one’s gonna hear you, Donovan! Those guys with the big ass guns? They’re not gonna help you either. Not when one of their own is about to die in this building. And so help me, Benjamin,” Bucky sneered into his ear, the man’s eyes wide with fear, “if she dies under your hand, there is nothing on the green earth that is going to stop me from tearing you apart. I’m gonna ask one more time, what did you inject her with?”

“A deadly pathogen! It’s a pathogen that kills its hosts within 24 hours of it being administered.”

Bucky’s eyes glanced at the clock. 2:58 AM. It was a late night mission, the jet had landed in Canada at 7:45 PM. Meaning you had to have been injected with it at 8:00 or so. Meaning six hours had already passed, he had eighteen hours left. You had eighteen hours left.

“Did you know adults that experience fevers that go over 105 degrees can run into complications causing serious implications of brain damage,” Sam blurted out. “means you’re in the dog house if we lose her. And ain’t a single one of us is gonna stop that mean.”

“Is there an antidote for it?” 

Donovan nodded. Bucky slammed a pen and a notepad down on the table, causing the man to jump in fear. “I suggest you better start writing it down. Now you get to deal with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Better start writing.”

Eighteen hours would go by quickly. 

---

“Sergeant, it’s not looking good for her,” Dr. Cho said, voice breaking slightly. “This virus that she’s fighting, it’s too strong.”

Bucky looked through the window, heart shattering as his blue eyes fell on the breathing mask they covered your mouth with, the tubes that kept you hydrated. You looked so… lifeless. Natasha sat by your side, her hand gripping your wrist, though you were so out of it, eyes barely open.

“He injected her with some sort of influenza. He knows the antidote, but he has less than eighteen hours.”

She noticed the worried look in his eyes. 

“She was constantly asking for you. Even in a state of being delirious, she was still calling for you. Natasha was able to calm her down.”

The soldier gulped. “Is… is she going to die?” 

For a moment, Dr. Cho couldn’t answer. She didn’t know the probability of the antidote being made on time. 

“James, I cannot answer that. But what I can say is that I will do everything in my power to keep her alive. She’s a fighter.” With that, she excused herself. Bucky stood still for a moment before pushing the door open.

The sounds of your heart monitor and the sounds of oxygen traveling through the tubes filled the room. Natasha’s emerald eyes met Bucky’s, a small smile presented on her face. 

“Any updates yet?” she asked, but it fell on deaf ears as Bucky kneeled at your bedside, grasping your limp hand tightly in his. 

The amount of pain that swirled in his mind was almost too unbearable. Your eyes met his, though you couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. Tears welled in your eyes as they rushed down your cheeks. 

“It’s okay, my love. I am right here.” His voice was above a whisper and pressed a kiss to your palm. “Tony and Bruce are gonna find a cure for you, honey. I promise. It’ll all be okay.” He felt you weakly try to grasp his hand back, but the action alone made you more tired. 

“I love you so much, baby. Words can’t comprehend my love for you. I want you to know that,” Tears welled in his own eyes, his hands reached up to cradle your cheek. You leaned into him. “I love you.”

Your skin was so warm under his touch. His eyes read over the stats on the open chart, seeing your temperature rise every hour. 

“She was injected with some sort of influenza. Tony and Bruce are working right now.” 

“Did you find anything else?”

Bucky kissed your hand, gently guiding your head back on the pillows. “Son of a bitch has the antidote. Had to break his nose just to get him to spill it out.” 

Natasha placed her hand on his shoulder. “I will stay with her and I’ll alert you guys if anything changes. Just try to hurry.”

Bucky nodded and leaned down, hugging your frail, weakened body and pressed a kiss against your chapped lips. “I love you, Y/n. I’m gonna fix this.”

He did not spare Natasha a glance as he stormed out of the medical wing, boots stomping with every step he took. Long strides took him to the end of the hall, where the elevator was.

“FRIDAY, where is Stark and Banner?”

“Both are in Mr. Stark’s lab. Shall I notify them that you are coming?”

“Tell them I have a stop to make first.” Bucky slammed the button to the interrogation level. “ I’m coming with the antidote.”

---

Donovan jumped in his seat when the doors opened, revealing the shadow of Bucky’s figure. A knife sat in his hand. The prisoner visibly shivered. 

“You know what I’m here for, Donovan.” 

“Come on, man! It hasn’t even been-”

The knife that was once held in Bucky’s hand was now lodged into metal table, an inch away from Donovan’s finger. 

“You’re fucking crazy!” 

“What happened to the tough guy act, huh? You wanted to act all big and bad up in Canada. Why the sudden change of heart?” Bucky taunted him, walking closer to the pad of paper that had been scribbled on, step by step, three pages, front and back. “Remember, you’re targeting my weak spot.”

He seemed ashamed, guilty almost. But it wasn’t because your life was in jeopardy. It was because he was caught, with no one left to save him. 

“You know, you’re already facing five counts of criminal charges of unauthorized access into government systems, you wanna add a murder charge to that? Assault with intent to cause bodily harm? That sounds like fifty years to me, that is with just the unauthorized access charges.” Bucky sat down across from him. “And if this,” he held up the paper, “isn’t true or it doesn’t cure her, you’re facing a very serious murder charge of a federal agent.”

“You’re nothing but a coward, Benjamin Croot. Tough guy act falls the minute you’re faced against someone who overpowers you. You’re gonna rot in that prison for the rest of your life.”  

---

It was morning.

The sun had risen fully. 

10:47 AM

Tony and Bruce had been hard at work, trying to figure out the antidote. It was nearing the afternoon, and they had been at it since nearly four in the morning. But neither were giving up. Not when your life was on a timer.

Bucky had dropped off the paper before going back up to the medical bay, spending his time with you. He hadn’t slept since he first woke up, his groggy eyes immediately landing on you staggering to the bathroom.

He laid in the small bed with you, balancing himself on the edge, giving you all the space. He had laid a damp rag over your forehead, in hope to cool you down a little. Tremors racked through your body suddenly, Bucky jolted. 

You laid still for a moment, eyes clenched shut, brows furrowed. An unpleasant gurgling sound came from you, body jerking slightly. Bucky’s eyes widened and he pressed the call button repeatedly before running to your side. You weren’t awake, you were warmer than before, heartbeat rapid as the monitor started to go crazy, alarms blasting. Dr. Cho and a couple nurses suddenly bursted into the room, eyes wide

“What’s wrong? What’s happening to her?” Bucky cried out, helplessly watching as they pushed you on the side. 

“She’s choking. Her lungs are filling up with fluids, and if we don't drain it, she will lose her.” Bucky’s eyes filled with horror. “Sergeant Barnes, I know you’re concerned for her health and safety, but I need my full attention if I’m gonna save her. Please.”

Bucky wordlessly nodded, his eyes fixated on your body, your face. 

Eyes closed.

Pale skin.

Lifeless, almost. 

The monitor flatlined. Bucky was pushed out of the room. Sheets pulled around your bed as voices screamed and yelled, though it was all distorted. 

“Bucky?” He turned to Sam, tears spilled over his cheeks. 

“She’s…” A cry got caught in his throat. “she’s flatlining.”

Chocolate eyes widened. 

“I need to find Tony and Bruce.”

Sam loved you like a sister. The two of you had always been close, ever since you joined the team. And when Sam laid eyes on you, defibrillator pads pressed on the exposed skin of your chest, head laid back, a knife twisted into his heart. 

Neither men didn’t move a muscle until the flatline changed to a faint beeping. 

---

“Please tell me you’re somewhat close to putting an antidote together.” Bucky and Sam pushed through the doors. Tony looked up, “How is she?”

“She’s running out of time, she flatlined for a minute,” Bucky rambled out. “Please, Tony. What do you have so far?”

“It’s almost done, I think. We followed every single one of the steps, used past remedies that have helped even Thor himself from a virus. But if this guys even altered one of these steps-”

“He’ll have to face me then.” Bucky finished. “Is it ready?” Tony nodded, though he had a look of hesitancy. “What is it?”

Tony looked over at Bruce, having just placed the antidote in the freezer. “It needs to maintain a temperature of -50 degrees. Meaning…”

“You need to bring her down here, or else it won’t work. I have all the medical supplies she’ll need down here. I just need you to transport her.” 

“I’ll do it.” Bucky said, not that anyone else would have even offered. “Have every single thing ready by the time I step foot in here.”

“I’ll inform Cho.”

Both scientists nodded, scrambling to ready the emergency medical cot. Sam followed Bucky as they raced through the stairwell, racing up the stairs, though adrenaline gave Bucky all the energy in the world it seemed. 

Once he reached the room, Sam sprinted to ready the elevators, to get you to the lab as quickly as possible. Dr. Cho had removed all the tubes and wires off of you, only an oxygen mask with a tank attached. 

“Come on, baby,” Bucky strapped the oxygen tank to his back and slid his arms underneath your knees and shoulders, and ever so gently he lifted you up, grey hospital gown drenched in sweat. Your head lolled back, arms and legs completely limp. “I got you, baby, I’ve got you.”

With you laid against his chest, he moved swiftly, his pace faster than normal and it wasn’t long until he was in the elevator with you, nearly unconscious in his arms. Bucky looked down at you and rested his forehead against your sweaty hair, though it did not bother him in the slightest. 

Your brows furrowed for a moment, followed by a whimper. “We’re getting there, love. We’re almost there.”

The doors opened and Bucky made a beeline for the lab doors, immediately going to the corner of the room where they had the cot set up. As gently as he could, he cradled the back of your head as he placed you down on the mat, softly placing the tank on the ground. 

“Okay, now Tony.” Bruce unbuttoned the gown at the shoulder, revealing where you were attacked. Bucky held the side of your face, caressing your cheek. 

He had placed a part of his armor on the hand piece as he took it out of the freezer, glancing  at the space from the freezer to you, and in two big strides he held the needle just above the darkening bruise and quickly administered it into your skin. He pressed the button and a fluid was shot into your shoulder.

Your body shuddered for a moment, there was no sudden movement from you.

It was the longest minute of Bucky’s life, his eyes filling up with tears. The sudden rise and fall of your chest kept getting  stronger with every breath you sucked in. The bruise surrounding your shoulder slowly vanished, your natural skin color coming back. 

When your eyes peeled open, Bucky nearly sobbed in relief, crashing on his knees as he gripped your arms. 

“Y/n, baby, can you hear me?” he pleaded desperately. 

“B-Bucky,” your voice was raspy and raw.

“Oh my god, you’re okay. You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” he muttered over and over like a mantra, cradling the back of your head as he peppered your forehead and cheeks with kisses. You were still a little warm, not as life threatening as it was beforehand.

“W-where am I?” you tiredly asked, eyes roaming around the lab. “What happened?”

 Bucky gently took the oxygen mask off, replacing it with a nasal tube. “You were poisoned, honey.” Flashes of you flatlining not even two hours ago flooded his mind, but he shook them away. You were well and alive, breathing with a steady pulse. “You were really sick for a while, 

but Tony and Bruce here made a cure for you.”

You nodded, still a bit drowsy from the near death experience. “What about… him?” 

Though your voice was barely above a whisper, Bucky heard you clearly. “He’s already taken care of. If I had it my way, the bastard would spend the rest of his life on Raft for all I care.”

Tony chuckled, coming over to pat your hair and a quick kiss to your head. “Leave that to me, kiddo. This kid doesn’t know what’s coming to him. Get some rest, hon.”

Bruce, Tony and Sam all bidded you a goodbye, leaving the two of you alone. 

Bucky cradled your face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “I love you, sweet girl.”

“I love you, too, Bucky.” You sounded downright exhausted. But you could finally rest. “This is why I stay behind the computers.”

Bucky chuckled and laid against the pillows, pulling you to lay on his chest. “Valid.” Your laugh was a tired one, Bucky could tell. “C’mon baby, let’s nap together.” 

You had no obligations on that, closing your eyes as you held onto Bucky’s arm, lulling to sleep. 

Finally, Bucky could rest knowing that you were at ease and finally able to rest without being in pain. His eyes drifted shut and you both finally succumbed to a well deserved rest.

--

[avecra]

im interested rb with your sign & if you prefer gold or silver jewelry

[avecra]

reblogging with tags 🏷️

@emmabarnes @impala1967666 @yourlocalwriterangie @raging-panda @the-chocoholic-writer @ladyoakenshield157 @sebsgirl71479 @vampiresarezombies

tumblr removed the tags from the end of the chapter so if you've seen this more than once its bc tumblr is stupid

A Change In Duty - 7

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 4.5k

chapter warnings: romance, hurt/comfort, angst, soft!bucky is all heart eyes, fluff

a/n - if you saw this a first time, tumblr is literally stupid so this is me reposting it

series masterlist // next chapter

Natasha could sense the change in your demeanor over the next few months. She began to notice how the tenseness from your shoulders had completely dissipated. You had finally begun to feel at ease and relaxed, and it warmed her heart. Especially considering the fact that her wedding was less than two weeks away, it brought her some relief that you were your usual self. A side to you that she had only seen a handful of times.

 It was a beautiful sight for her to see the happiness in your cheeks and the light in your eyes. You felt lighter, the weight that had been sitting on your shoulders had finally been released, Bucky had made sure of that. 

The more time you spent with him, the happier you felt. Being in the presence of him made you feel safe, more secure than ever. 

A chill swept up your spine as you stepped into the corridor, a fleece lined cloaked sat on your shoulders over your dress. You made your way down to the kitchens, peering your head inside, seeing Wanda sitting at one of the benches enjoying her breakfast. 

You slipped into the room, sneaking two muffin pastries from the cabinet and quickly made your way back to the hallway, walking in the direction of the training grounds, looking around for the captain, wanting to give him a little boost of energy for the day.

It was a snowy morning; the skies were painted grey, still recovering from the raging storm that had passed earlier this morning. You had remembered Bucky mentioning the clouds that began to pass through the mountain. Snow would be expected for the next couple of weeks. Though you didn’t mind, it was a beautiful sight to see. As you came up to the training yard, you looked around the nearly empty grounds that were covered in snow searching for the captain, but all you found was his lieutenant and squire. Sam’s eyes moved from the young boy and beckoned you forward with his hand. 

“Morning, my lady,” Sam greeted you with a warm smile.

“Good morning,” you reiterated softly, sending a warm smile to the young squire. You glanced around the yard. “Do you know where Bucky is?”

A knowing smile crossed over his face and he nodded. “Went out for a ride with Dahlia. He should be returning any minute.”

You nodded, tightening your hold on the pastry in your hand. Sam noticed the slight tension in your body, and he patted Peter’s shoulder and made his way over to you, standing inches away from you. 

“Y’know,” the knight started as you looked over at him. “he is just as infatuated as you are. Probably even more,” You smiled slightly, your shoulders relaxed. “I’ve known the captain for years and I can truthfully say that I have never seen him this happier since your and Her Grace’s arrival. I believe you make him a better person, lady.”

Your brows furrowed; that couldn't possibly be true. You had been told stories of Bucky’s bravery during the war, during his time as captain, defending the kingdom and its people from danger. 

How could your presence make him better than he already is?

You opened your mouth to retort, but Sam held up his hand. “Believe me when I say he has not been this happy and chipper in a long while. He may not seem like it with you, but with me he’s the grumpiest person I have ever met.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that took over your features, cheeks burning hot. Who would have thought that someone like you, a noblewoman who had hopped from region to region with no immediate family, had wounded the captain of the knight guard on his knees for you. 

“Do I make it that obvious?” you quietly asked, and Sam laughed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Peter shovel the snow away. 

“Kind of,” Sam chuckled. “But he makes it way more obvious.” He winked at you just as the gates opened slightly. The sounds of hooves galloping against the road came closer within earshot. “Besides, I think you two are perfect, I believe you even each other out. And you have really helped him.”

Sam’s words echoed in your mind and you sent him a smile, turning your head to see Bucky and Dahlia ride in just across the yard. Until blue eyes landed on yours, then did he guide the black mare in your direction. The lieutenant stepped back just as Bucky dismounted and made his way over to you with a smile. 

“Good morning,” Bucky whispered in a low voice, leaning in to grab your hand and place a soft kiss against your palm. 

You could have nearly melted at the sound of his voice. 

“Hi,” you breathed out, pushing the wrapped pastry in Bucky’s direction. “I remember you saying that you liked the blueberry muffins Wanda had made a few weeks ago.”

Bucky smiled as he took the two pastries from your grasp, leaning down to smell the sweetness of the muffin. ‘’Thank you, sweetheart,” You smiled and nodded and began to pull away, but he held onto your hand tighter, keeping you anchored to him. “Have you eaten today?”

“No, I have not,” you mumbled, slightly cursing yourself for not grabbing something for yourself. Perhaps you could snack on something with Natasha later whilst going over the guest list for the wedding. 

“Have breakfast with me.” Bucky requested, not giving you a chance to answer because he was pulling you by the hand towards the castle. You obliged silently with a smile, holding his hand tightly as he led you to the kitchen, where thankfully there was no one. The lingering smell of the porridge the cooks made hit your nose and your stomach grumbled in response. 

Bucky sat you down at the table and squeezed your shoulder before making his way to the stove, reaching for a bowl. You watched him with adoration as he ladled porridge into a bowl and topped it off with the fruits you enjoyed the most and brought it over to you. 

The flutter in your stomach as his fingers brushed against yours was hard to ignore, not with the way he effortlessly cared for you. It was a foreign concept to you, some things were going to take a little longer to get used to, but even after everything he had done for you, his actions still surprised you.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you said, reaching out to grasp his hand as he finally settled next to you. 

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” he insisted, but you shook your head.

“No, I need to. I really appreciate you, Bucky. Even when I pushed you away you still put effort into caring for me. It is something I am not used to, but I cherish your thoughtfulness so much.”

If he could, he would have pressed his lips against yours if you were just a couple inches closer. He so desperately wanted to, grasping your body closer to his.

Bucky squeezed your hand affectionately and nodded his head. “There isn’t anything I wouldn't do for you, milady.” He placed your porridge in front of you, along with a glass of juice. “Eat. You’ll need your strength for  later today.”

You smiled and took a bite of your breakfast, all while still holding onto his hand tightly.

---

The crackling of the fire filled the small space of the library as you spread out all the guest names, unaware of the surnames written elegantly on the thick cards. Natasha held Steve’s hand as they both walked hand in hand behind you, silently going over the names. Bucky and Sam stood yards away, standing with straight, rigid postures, though Bucky loosened whenever you glanced his way with a smile. 

“Is this everyone, lady?” Natasha asked, grasping Steve’s arm tightly, pulling him along. 

You hummed, taking a step back from the table where the cards sat. “The Kingdom of Wakanda sends their congratulations to you and their apologies for not making it. Otherwise, here are the two hundred guests who will be attending, though it is mainly your people.”

“I took the liberty of inviting some from all around the lands, though I am not expecting everyone to be in attendance. The harsh storm is projected the week of our glorious day, I doubt some will actually make the trip up here,” Steve said, looking over at Natasha with a smile. 

The look of love. A look that had crossed Bucky’s face whenever he gazed at you. 

“The less people the better, I would say,” Natasha whispered, though you could hear here even though you buried yourself. “Just you and I, my love.”

“Just you and I, dove.” Steve repeated, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. 

You felt eyes bore into your form and you moved your eyes from the cards over to the knight standing by the bookshelf, his attention solely on you, the softest smile and the adoration glinting in the ocean of his eyes as he looked at you.

This time, you did not shy away from his gaze. 

Instead, you smiled at him and looked back, a silent conversation played between the two of you. His eyes fell from your face down to the dark colored dress that you wore, smiling when he saw the rose pendant hanging from your neck, the memory of him first defending you flashed through his mind. 

His azure eyes found yours once again, this time lighter. 

You look beautiful. You could hear this gaze tell you, even with no words spoken.

Your hand instinctively found its way to the rose, grasping the charm tightly as you subtly bowed your head at him and looked away after minutes of gazing into the blues of his eyes. 

You turned your attention back down to the cards again, glancing over to your dearest friend to see her in Steve’s arms as they admired the snowfall together, relishing in each other’s presence, quietly conversing, though you could not directly hear them, a smile crossed your face as you heard Natasha’s quiet laughter. 

Though Bucky’s gaze remained locked onto yours, you continued to look at the attendees for the wedding, wondering who you would get the honor of meeting. You smiled to yourself, seeing the captain still locked on you in your peripheral vision. Turning your head, you looked towards him and playfully rolled your eyes at him, emitting a chuckle from the knight before you turned back to the cards, a smile evident in your features.

The smile was torn from you in an instant, vanished completely and it felt as if all the air from your lungs was stolen as your eyes locked onto the card with the names of the people who haunted your dreams. 

King Alexander Pierce. 

Your hands began to tremble, even after you formed them into fists.

Prince Brock Rumlow.

Tears burned in the backs of your eyes, threatening to peek out.

Prince Quentin Beck.

Breaths came in too quickly, you felt dizzy and numb.

You wanted to wither away and lock yourself in your room, but you remained still, a lump formed in your throat as you tried to bring yourself out of the memory that was threatening to reel you in, pulling you beneath the surface.

I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore-

A warm familiar hand touched the small of your back and a soft voice spoke out to you, quietly and hushed, “Y/n? Are you alright?”

The sound of your name falling from his lips pulled you from the dark waters that dared to drown you. You blinked your eyes and turned to him with a look of fear, adoration quickly vanished, and Bucky could see the panic beginning to bubble over. 

He quickly caught your hand in his, squeezing tenderly as he ran his thumb over your scars, cautiously glancing back to Steve and Natasha, seeing them both caught in their own little world. 

He tightened his hold on your hand, his other hand tightening around your waist. His head dipped down, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, “You’re okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re safe with me, you’re safe. It’s just you and me sweetheart.”

Your heartbeat began to settle and you found yourself following his breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling just as he did, until you found your breath again. 

Bucky pulled back, placing a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. He was silent, and just as before, his eyes upheld a conversation.

Please don’t shut me out. Not now. Cerulean eyes begged you and you pushed out a smile, albeit small and forced. 

“Later, please.” you softly requested, only loud enough for the knight to hear. 

Bucky nodded and began to pull away from you, but not before placing a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes slipped closed, relishing in the feel of his lips against your skin, his hand tightening around yours before both of his touches pulled away simultaneously. He walked back to his post, though kept an eye on you, as you’d expected.

You took a moment to compose yourself, sniffling quietly and patting the skin under your eyelids with your fingers until you looked ahead at Natasha, revealed to see her still in Steve’s arms, oblivious to the world around them.

“Shall I leave you be, Nat?” you called quietly, and the woman turned in her lover’s arms, eyes widened.

“Oh, my dearest,” Natasha squeezed Steve’s arm before untangling herself from him and making her way over to you. “I think I would like to spend the day alone with my fiancé.”

She was smiling brightly and it brought joy to you, knowing that she finally had found her love. You nodded and hooked your pinky around hers before pulling away, leaving her alone with her lover. Bucky’s gaze followed you as you made your way out of the library, though you stopped in front of him. 

“Later.” you reminded him.

Bucky nodded and leaned down, placing a kiss against your cheek. Once he pulled away, you silently made your way out of the library, exhaling shakily once the doors shut. The trembling resumed and you brought a hand to your mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to spill out. 

You couldn’t escape them, no matter how far you fled.

Anxiety bubbled in the pit of your stomach as you wrapped your hand around the frigid metal railing, looking over towards the snow covered mountains, praying to the gods above that they wouldn’t make it due to the weather. 

If not, you feared the things they would do once they found out where you were.

---

You had been staring at the same page for well over ten minutes. A huff of frustration passed through your lips and you stood up, tossing your book on the table as you strode to the window. The sun was beginning to set, casting beautiful shades of purple and pink across the sky. An anxious feeling had been gnawing at you for hours, and no matter what you tried, you could not get rid of it, continuing to nibble on your lip.

You heard the door to the small study that you currently found yourself in open suddenly, automatically knowing it was Bucky. 

“Is it later?” His voice was soft. Your throat tightened as you turned to face him, meeting his concerned gaze. He stepped forward, reaching for your hand. “Let’s go for a ride.”

Your brows furrowed as his hand tightened around yours, looking back to the window to see the lowering sun. “The sun is going down. How will you ride in the dark?”

Bucky said nothing and led you out of the study by the hand. You caught his eye but all he gave you was a smile. “Just trust me.”

Trust me.

Of course you trusted him, there wasn’t anyone else in the entire universe who had treated you with this much kindness, this much love. In perspective, Bucky shouldn’t have cared this much, as you were just a woman tending to her employer.

Yet there he was, a comforting shoulder to cry on, a companion to make light conversation as you ventured into town, someone to call a friend. 

Perhaps even more. 

“I do.” you said as he slipped on a heavy cloak over your shoulders, tightening several knots from your sternum down just below your bust. His eyes met yours, his gaze never leaving you, even as he brought the hood over your head. It was only when he led you to the stables did his eyes leave yours. 

The dark fur of Dahlia caught your eye and you couldn’t help the surge of excitement that passed through you. As Bucky went to gather supplies, you made your way towards the mare, holding your hand out, but she did not need to sniff your scent as she immediately brushed her head along your arm.

“Hello, sweet thing,” you whispered softly, scratching along the white patch of fur along her snout. A hand gently touched your shoulder and you looked to the side to see Bucky pack the last few of his supplies.

He wordlessly handed you a bundle of carrots to feed Dahlia and he prepped her saddle. It didn’t take long, once he was finished, he couldn’t help but to stop and watch how the smile you wore reached your eyes, even a little. He noticed you looking back at him and reached out for your hand.

“I thought we could try something a little different this time,” Bucky said, placing his hands on your waist. You could feel him rub his thumb over the fabric of your dress. “You’ll want a good viewing seat.”

Before you could process his words, Bucky lifted and placed you directly onto the saddle, waiting for you to adjust yourself before he hoisted himself behind you. He reached around you, grabbing the reins and looked down at you. 

“Ready?”

You nodded and he tugged on the reins, letting Dahlia take off through the open stable doors. You leaned back into Bucky, head falling onto his shoulder, feeling one of his arms snake across your waist to hold you steady.

Shades of pink and purple and orange nearly faded, revealing the dark night sky. You clutched onto Bucky’s arm tightly, seeing the dark forest come into view. But he just held you firmly to his chest and whispered, “look up to the sky.”

Your eyes glanced over to him briefly before turning to the dark sky. Just as Dahlia passed through the first line of trees before a green light casted over the sky, spreading out, feathering across the sky. A gasp passed through your lips, watching in awe as the light shifted through the sky, moving along with the air. 

“Not completely dark,” Bucky whispered in your ear as Dahlia galloped further in. Bucky didn’t want to go further than a few miles, knowing the dangers of the cold forest. 

“The Northern Lights, right?” Bucky nodded. “It is so… beautiful,” you breathed out. Bucky kept his gaze solely on you, even as he slowed down his horse. Watching the way you were smiling, the light in your eyes he hadn’t seen since this morning, whatever tore the spirit away from you. There were names he himself recognized, but he was cautious about the idea of assuming anything. 

“It is,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on you as he pulled on the reins. Green reflected off the snow, giving the forest more light than you had expected. 

Moments of comfortable silence passed by before Bucky eventually had to ask. 

“I think it is later now.” he whispered against your ear. He could feel you nod against his shoulder, eyes still glued to the sky, so he gave you a few moments to compose yourself. You leaned forward, slipping away from his warmth. His hands ran up and down your torso before he dismounted, keeping close to Dahlia.

“Whatever it is, I am here with you. I am not going to let anything happen to you, Y/n. I promise.” Bucky said, latching onto your hand. 

You could have melted right off of Dahlia and into his arms, but you held yourself steady. Your eyes slipped close for a moment and you gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath.

Trust me.

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting azure eyes.  

“I saw their names on one of the cards,” you whispered, eyes gauging the sudden rigidness of his shoulders, though his facial features softened. “They will be here for the wedding.”

Bucky nodded, understanding who ‘they’ were. He could hear it in the shakiness of your voice, the fear that covered your eyes. He stroked the back of your hand as you explained the fears you felt. 

He couldn’t stop the rage that swam through his body, the fury he felt knowing there was no way you could avoid them at the wedding. You would be in a constant state of anxiety, of paranoia, of fear. He couldn’t let you become fearful of your own home. 

“What are their names?” Bucky asked, voice steadily calm despite the anger and fury he felt.

He had to keep his anger far away from you. 

You had been subjected to enough of it in your lifetime. After nearly half a year knowing you, Bucky could get a read on what made you anxious and what made you calm. 

You shook your head, hands beginning to tremble. 

“Y/n, I need to know who they are. You may not want to, but we need to tell Steve-”

Your hand ripped out of his hand in an instant. “No! No, Ste- His Majesty does not need to know. It does not concern him, therefore he does not need to know. Nor does Natasha. It does not concern them,” you cried out, eyes filling with tears. The sight nearly broke Bucky’s heart.

“Your safety is my number one concern.”

You gaped at him, and the one question you had been holding in finally spouted through. “Why do all of this for me, Bucky? I am merely a servant! I-I am not some princess or queen, just a noblewoman, the queen’s lady! The purpose of my position here is to serve my-”

“Not to me you’re not,” the knight retorted, taking a step back towards the mare and he reached for your waist and pulled you off the saddle and into the warmth of his arms. 

“Bucky!” you yelped, clutching onto his forearms.

But the knight did not listen to you, not as he picked you up and effortlessly carried you until the two of you were under the branches of the towering trees, your back pushed gently up against the base of the tree. 

His hold wasn’t caging or forceful. More careful and gentle. 

“You are so much more than just a lady to me,” Bucky said, exhaling heavily as his eyes bore into yours. “To me, you are everything. Ever since the first moment you stepped into the palace, all I wanted was you. You, woman, have captivated me. You have made me a better knight, a better captain, soldier… a better man.” His shoulders rose and fell, though you did not feel any fear. Not as his hand gently held your cheek. “You have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart. I care about you more than I should, but I don’t care. I protect what I care about. And I will fight a king if it means you are away from harm.”

His heavy breaths fell from parted lips and you couldn’t help as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips. Bucky leaned his forehead against yours.

“You are all I care about. Nothing else matters when I am with you.” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours, melting against you as he felt your lips press into his.

You had been kissed before, but never like this. Never as passionate as this.

Everything Bucky did was gentle. The way he held you, hugged you, kissed you. You would have expected his lips to be chapped and dry from being out in the cold weather, but they were soft against yours and he kissed you, you could not help but smile against his mouth.

You kissed the knight that had shown you nothing but kindness and a delicacy that no man had ever bestowed on you. 

Once you pulled away, shoulders heaving, lips swollen and flushed skin, Bucky pressed his forehead against yours, holding you close. You kept your hands firmly on his chest, sighing softly.

“You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that,” Bucky breathed out and you couldn't help the giggle that passed through your lips. 

“I am glad you did,” you whispered against his cheek. Bucky pressed his lips into the skin of your cheek, trailing down to your jaw. 

He peppered kisses along your jaw, teasing your neck slightly before placing a kiss against your lips. It was short and sweet, the way he held your face could have made you melt where you stood.

“I need names, Y/n.” Bucky whispered against your lips. He pulled away and pulled you into his chest, arms circling around your waist. You wrapped yourself in his warmth, resting your head against his heartbeat. 

You looked up at the lights in the sky again, sighing softly. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”

Bucky pulled you away and pressed his lips against your forehead. “You can tell me tomorrow, honey. But for now, let’s go home.”

Home. It was now in the Northern Lands, you decided. After tonight, there wasn’t anywhere else you would want to be. You wouldn’t trade being in Bucky’s arms on the way home for anything in the world. 

The half of a year being in the north was far better than the eight years spent in the East. 

There, nobody was like Bucky, who offered to help you off a horse, ease the heavy cloak from your shoulders, and walk you to your chambers. 

You hadn’t loved anyone like you loved Bucky. 

He led you to the comfort of your bed, helping you out of your shoes and turning away respectively as you changed into the soft fabric of your nightgown. You sat down on your bed, looking at Bucky as he kneeled in front of you. 

You leaned down and kissed him, pleading eyes boring into his. 

“Can you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” you asked shyly, swallowing nervously, but his warm hand held your cheek. 

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” 

It took a moment before you were both comfortably laying in bed, Bucky’s arms wrapped around you as your back pressed to his chest. He could feel the rigidness of your muscles, so he ran his hand over your stomach, holding you tighter to his chest.

Issues could be resolved tomorrow.

For tonight, you decided everything was okay, and you felt Bucky’s soft lips against your temple before sleep lured you in.

[avecra]

Hi! In the masterlist for your series, the link to chapter 7 doesn’t seem to be working :o

it should working now, tumblr has been acting so crazy for me

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - Masterlist

series summary:  Change has been no stranger to you your entire life. So, when the dear friend that you work for engages to a King and requests you to accompany her to her new home, you are beyond happy; a perfect way to start a new change in your life. In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. As the months go by, you find yourself swiftly falling for the knight. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader (medieval au)

series warnings: canon level violence, romance, angst, period-typical misogyny, mentions/references to abuse, protective!bucky is backkkk, hurt/comfort, fluff, knight!bucky because hes a warning

* set in a separate time than this one shot. they have similarities, but have no correlation whatsoever.

a/n - my obsession with knight!bucky is unhealthy :’), i will be posting wednesdays every other week

Keep reading

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - 7

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 4.5k

chapter warnings: romance, hurt/comfort, angst, soft!bucky is all heart eyes, fluff

a/n - if you saw this a first time, tumblr is literally stupid so this is me reposting it

series masterlist // next chapter

Natasha could sense the change in your demeanor over the next few months. She began to notice how the tenseness from your shoulders had completely dissipated. You had finally begun to feel at ease and relaxed, and it warmed her heart. Especially considering the fact that her wedding was less than two weeks away, it brought her some relief that you were your usual self. A side to you that she had only seen a handful of times.

 It was a beautiful sight for her to see the happiness in your cheeks and the light in your eyes. You felt lighter, the weight that had been sitting on your shoulders had finally been released, Bucky had made sure of that. 

The more time you spent with him, the happier you felt. Being in the presence of him made you feel safe, more secure than ever. 

A chill swept up your spine as you stepped into the corridor, a fleece lined cloaked sat on your shoulders over your dress. You made your way down to the kitchens, peering your head inside, seeing Wanda sitting at one of the benches enjoying her breakfast. 

You slipped into the room, sneaking two muffin pastries from the cabinet and quickly made your way back to the hallway, walking in the direction of the training grounds, looking around for the captain, wanting to give him a little boost of energy for the day.

It was a snowy morning; the skies were painted grey, still recovering from the raging storm that had passed earlier this morning. You had remembered Bucky mentioning the clouds that began to pass through the mountain. Snow would be expected for the next couple of weeks. Though you didn’t mind, it was a beautiful sight to see. As you came up to the training yard, you looked around the nearly empty grounds that were covered in snow searching for the captain, but all you found was his lieutenant and squire. Sam’s eyes moved from the young boy and beckoned you forward with his hand. 

“Morning, my lady,” Sam greeted you with a warm smile.

“Good morning,” you reiterated softly, sending a warm smile to the young squire. You glanced around the yard. “Do you know where Bucky is?”

A knowing smile crossed over his face and he nodded. “Went out for a ride with Dahlia. He should be returning any minute.”

You nodded, tightening your hold on the pastry in your hand. Sam noticed the slight tension in your body, and he patted Peter’s shoulder and made his way over to you, standing inches away from you. 

“Y’know,” the knight started as you looked over at him. “he is just as infatuated as you are. Probably even more,” You smiled slightly, your shoulders relaxed. “I’ve known the captain for years and I can truthfully say that I have never seen him this happier since your and Her Grace’s arrival. I believe you make him a better person, lady.”

Your brows furrowed; that couldn't possibly be true. You had been told stories of Bucky’s bravery during the war, during his time as captain, defending the kingdom and its people from danger. 

How could your presence make him better than he already is?

You opened your mouth to retort, but Sam held up his hand. “Believe me when I say he has not been this happy and chipper in a long while. He may not seem like it with you, but with me he’s the grumpiest person I have ever met.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that took over your features, cheeks burning hot. Who would have thought that someone like you, a noblewoman who had hopped from region to region with no immediate family, had wounded the captain of the knight guard on his knees for you. 

“Do I make it that obvious?” you quietly asked, and Sam laughed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Peter shovel the snow away. 

“Kind of,” Sam chuckled. “But he makes it way more obvious.” He winked at you just as the gates opened slightly. The sounds of hooves galloping against the road came closer within earshot. “Besides, I think you two are perfect, I believe you even each other out. And you have really helped him.”

Sam’s words echoed in your mind and you sent him a smile, turning your head to see Bucky and Dahlia ride in just across the yard. Until blue eyes landed on yours, then did he guide the black mare in your direction. The lieutenant stepped back just as Bucky dismounted and made his way over to you with a smile. 

“Good morning,” Bucky whispered in a low voice, leaning in to grab your hand and place a soft kiss against your palm. 

You could have nearly melted at the sound of his voice. 

“Hi,” you breathed out, pushing the wrapped pastry in Bucky’s direction. “I remember you saying that you liked the blueberry muffins Wanda had made a few weeks ago.”

Bucky smiled as he took the two pastries from your grasp, leaning down to smell the sweetness of the muffin. ‘’Thank you, sweetheart,” You smiled and nodded and began to pull away, but he held onto your hand tighter, keeping you anchored to him. “Have you eaten today?”

“No, I have not,” you mumbled, slightly cursing yourself for not grabbing something for yourself. Perhaps you could snack on something with Natasha later whilst going over the guest list for the wedding. 

“Have breakfast with me.” Bucky requested, not giving you a chance to answer because he was pulling you by the hand towards the castle. You obliged silently with a smile, holding his hand tightly as he led you to the kitchen, where thankfully there was no one. The lingering smell of the porridge the cooks made hit your nose and your stomach grumbled in response. 

Bucky sat you down at the table and squeezed your shoulder before making his way to the stove, reaching for a bowl. You watched him with adoration as he ladled porridge into a bowl and topped it off with the fruits you enjoyed the most and brought it over to you. 

The flutter in your stomach as his fingers brushed against yours was hard to ignore, not with the way he effortlessly cared for you. It was a foreign concept to you, some things were going to take a little longer to get used to, but even after everything he had done for you, his actions still surprised you.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you said, reaching out to grasp his hand as he finally settled next to you. 

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” he insisted, but you shook your head.

“No, I need to. I really appreciate you, Bucky. Even when I pushed you away you still put effort into caring for me. It is something I am not used to, but I cherish your thoughtfulness so much.”

If he could, he would have pressed his lips against yours if you were just a couple inches closer. He so desperately wanted to, grasping your body closer to his.

Bucky squeezed your hand affectionately and nodded his head. “There isn’t anything I wouldn't do for you, milady.” He placed your porridge in front of you, along with a glass of juice. “Eat. You’ll need your strength for  later today.”

You smiled and took a bite of your breakfast, all while still holding onto his hand tightly.

---

The crackling of the fire filled the small space of the library as you spread out all the guest names, unaware of the surnames written elegantly on the thick cards. Natasha held Steve’s hand as they both walked hand in hand behind you, silently going over the names. Bucky and Sam stood yards away, standing with straight, rigid postures, though Bucky loosened whenever you glanced his way with a smile. 

“Is this everyone, lady?” Natasha asked, grasping Steve’s arm tightly, pulling him along. 

You hummed, taking a step back from the table where the cards sat. “The Kingdom of Wakanda sends their congratulations to you and their apologies for not making it. Otherwise, here are the two hundred guests who will be attending, though it is mainly your people.”

“I took the liberty of inviting some from all around the lands, though I am not expecting everyone to be in attendance. The harsh storm is projected the week of our glorious day, I doubt some will actually make the trip up here,” Steve said, looking over at Natasha with a smile. 

The look of love. A look that had crossed Bucky’s face whenever he gazed at you. 

“The less people the better, I would say,” Natasha whispered, though you could hear here even though you buried yourself. “Just you and I, my love.”

“Just you and I, dove.” Steve repeated, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. 

You felt eyes bore into your form and you moved your eyes from the cards over to the knight standing by the bookshelf, his attention solely on you, the softest smile and the adoration glinting in the ocean of his eyes as he looked at you.

This time, you did not shy away from his gaze. 

Instead, you smiled at him and looked back, a silent conversation played between the two of you. His eyes fell from your face down to the dark colored dress that you wore, smiling when he saw the rose pendant hanging from your neck, the memory of him first defending you flashed through his mind. 

His azure eyes found yours once again, this time lighter. 

You look beautiful. You could hear this gaze tell you, even with no words spoken.

Your hand instinctively found its way to the rose, grasping the charm tightly as you subtly bowed your head at him and looked away after minutes of gazing into the blues of his eyes. 

You turned your attention back down to the cards again, glancing over to your dearest friend to see her in Steve’s arms as they admired the snowfall together, relishing in each other’s presence, quietly conversing, though you could not directly hear them, a smile crossed your face as you heard Natasha’s quiet laughter. 

Though Bucky’s gaze remained locked onto yours, you continued to look at the attendees for the wedding, wondering who you would get the honor of meeting. You smiled to yourself, seeing the captain still locked on you in your peripheral vision. Turning your head, you looked towards him and playfully rolled your eyes at him, emitting a chuckle from the knight before you turned back to the cards, a smile evident in your features.

The smile was torn from you in an instant, vanished completely and it felt as if all the air from your lungs was stolen as your eyes locked onto the card with the names of the people who haunted your dreams. 

King Alexander Pierce. 

Your hands began to tremble, even after you formed them into fists.

Prince Brock Rumlow.

Tears burned in the backs of your eyes, threatening to peek out.

Prince Quentin Beck.

Breaths came in too quickly, you felt dizzy and numb.

You wanted to wither away and lock yourself in your room, but you remained still, a lump formed in your throat as you tried to bring yourself out of the memory that was threatening to reel you in, pulling you beneath the surface.

I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore-

A warm familiar hand touched the small of your back and a soft voice spoke out to you, quietly and hushed, “Y/n? Are you alright?”

The sound of your name falling from his lips pulled you from the dark waters that dared to drown you. You blinked your eyes and turned to him with a look of fear, adoration quickly vanished, and Bucky could see the panic beginning to bubble over. 

He quickly caught your hand in his, squeezing tenderly as he ran his thumb over your scars, cautiously glancing back to Steve and Natasha, seeing them both caught in their own little world. 

He tightened his hold on your hand, his other hand tightening around your waist. His head dipped down, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, “You’re okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re safe with me, you’re safe. It’s just you and me sweetheart.”

Your heartbeat began to settle and you found yourself following his breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling just as he did, until you found your breath again. 

Bucky pulled back, placing a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. He was silent, and just as before, his eyes upheld a conversation.

Please don’t shut me out. Not now. Cerulean eyes begged you and you pushed out a smile, albeit small and forced. 

“Later, please.” you softly requested, only loud enough for the knight to hear. 

Bucky nodded and began to pull away from you, but not before placing a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes slipped closed, relishing in the feel of his lips against your skin, his hand tightening around yours before both of his touches pulled away simultaneously. He walked back to his post, though kept an eye on you, as you’d expected.

You took a moment to compose yourself, sniffling quietly and patting the skin under your eyelids with your fingers until you looked ahead at Natasha, revealed to see her still in Steve’s arms, oblivious to the world around them.

“Shall I leave you be, Nat?” you called quietly, and the woman turned in her lover’s arms, eyes widened.

“Oh, my dearest,” Natasha squeezed Steve’s arm before untangling herself from him and making her way over to you. “I think I would like to spend the day alone with my fiancé.”

She was smiling brightly and it brought joy to you, knowing that she finally had found her love. You nodded and hooked your pinky around hers before pulling away, leaving her alone with her lover. Bucky’s gaze followed you as you made your way out of the library, though you stopped in front of him. 

“Later.” you reminded him.

Bucky nodded and leaned down, placing a kiss against your cheek. Once he pulled away, you silently made your way out of the library, exhaling shakily once the doors shut. The trembling resumed and you brought a hand to your mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to spill out. 

You couldn’t escape them, no matter how far you fled.

Anxiety bubbled in the pit of your stomach as you wrapped your hand around the frigid metal railing, looking over towards the snow covered mountains, praying to the gods above that they wouldn’t make it due to the weather. 

If not, you feared the things they would do once they found out where you were.

---

You had been staring at the same page for well over ten minutes. A huff of frustration passed through your lips and you stood up, tossing your book on the table as you strode to the window. The sun was beginning to set, casting beautiful shades of purple and pink across the sky. An anxious feeling had been gnawing at you for hours, and no matter what you tried, you could not get rid of it, continuing to nibble on your lip.

You heard the door to the small study that you currently found yourself in open suddenly, automatically knowing it was Bucky. 

“Is it later?” His voice was soft. Your throat tightened as you turned to face him, meeting his concerned gaze. He stepped forward, reaching for your hand. “Let’s go for a ride.”

Your brows furrowed as his hand tightened around yours, looking back to the window to see the lowering sun. “The sun is going down. How will you ride in the dark?”

Bucky said nothing and led you out of the study by the hand. You caught his eye but all he gave you was a smile. “Just trust me.”

Trust me.

Of course you trusted him, there wasn’t anyone else in the entire universe who had treated you with this much kindness, this much love. In perspective, Bucky shouldn’t have cared this much, as you were just a woman tending to her employer.

Yet there he was, a comforting shoulder to cry on, a companion to make light conversation as you ventured into town, someone to call a friend. 

Perhaps even more. 

“I do.” you said as he slipped on a heavy cloak over your shoulders, tightening several knots from your sternum down just below your bust. His eyes met yours, his gaze never leaving you, even as he brought the hood over your head. It was only when he led you to the stables did his eyes leave yours. 

The dark fur of Dahlia caught your eye and you couldn’t help the surge of excitement that passed through you. As Bucky went to gather supplies, you made your way towards the mare, holding your hand out, but she did not need to sniff your scent as she immediately brushed her head along your arm.

“Hello, sweet thing,” you whispered softly, scratching along the white patch of fur along her snout. A hand gently touched your shoulder and you looked to the side to see Bucky pack the last few of his supplies.

He wordlessly handed you a bundle of carrots to feed Dahlia and he prepped her saddle. It didn’t take long, once he was finished, he couldn’t help but to stop and watch how the smile you wore reached your eyes, even a little. He noticed you looking back at him and reached out for your hand.

“I thought we could try something a little different this time,” Bucky said, placing his hands on your waist. You could feel him rub his thumb over the fabric of your dress. “You’ll want a good viewing seat.”

Before you could process his words, Bucky lifted and placed you directly onto the saddle, waiting for you to adjust yourself before he hoisted himself behind you. He reached around you, grabbing the reins and looked down at you. 

“Ready?”

You nodded and he tugged on the reins, letting Dahlia take off through the open stable doors. You leaned back into Bucky, head falling onto his shoulder, feeling one of his arms snake across your waist to hold you steady.

Shades of pink and purple and orange nearly faded, revealing the dark night sky. You clutched onto Bucky’s arm tightly, seeing the dark forest come into view. But he just held you firmly to his chest and whispered, “look up to the sky.”

Your eyes glanced over to him briefly before turning to the dark sky. Just as Dahlia passed through the first line of trees before a green light casted over the sky, spreading out, feathering across the sky. A gasp passed through your lips, watching in awe as the light shifted through the sky, moving along with the air. 

“Not completely dark,” Bucky whispered in your ear as Dahlia galloped further in. Bucky didn’t want to go further than a few miles, knowing the dangers of the cold forest. 

“The Northern Lights, right?” Bucky nodded. “It is so… beautiful,” you breathed out. Bucky kept his gaze solely on you, even as he slowed down his horse. Watching the way you were smiling, the light in your eyes he hadn’t seen since this morning, whatever tore the spirit away from you. There were names he himself recognized, but he was cautious about the idea of assuming anything. 

“It is,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on you as he pulled on the reins. Green reflected off the snow, giving the forest more light than you had expected. 

Moments of comfortable silence passed by before Bucky eventually had to ask. 

“I think it is later now.” he whispered against your ear. He could feel you nod against his shoulder, eyes still glued to the sky, so he gave you a few moments to compose yourself. You leaned forward, slipping away from his warmth. His hands ran up and down your torso before he dismounted, keeping close to Dahlia.

“Whatever it is, I am here with you. I am not going to let anything happen to you, Y/n. I promise.” Bucky said, latching onto your hand. 

You could have melted right off of Dahlia and into his arms, but you held yourself steady. Your eyes slipped close for a moment and you gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath.

Trust me.

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting azure eyes.  

“I saw their names on one of the cards,” you whispered, eyes gauging the sudden rigidness of his shoulders, though his facial features softened. “They will be here for the wedding.”

Bucky nodded, understanding who ‘they’ were. He could hear it in the shakiness of your voice, the fear that covered your eyes. He stroked the back of your hand as you explained the fears you felt. 

He couldn’t stop the rage that swam through his body, the fury he felt knowing there was no way you could avoid them at the wedding. You would be in a constant state of anxiety, of paranoia, of fear. He couldn’t let you become fearful of your own home. 

“What are their names?” Bucky asked, voice steadily calm despite the anger and fury he felt.

He had to keep his anger far away from you. 

You had been subjected to enough of it in your lifetime. After nearly half a year knowing you, Bucky could get a read on what made you anxious and what made you calm. 

You shook your head, hands beginning to tremble. 

“Y/n, I need to know who they are. You may not want to, but we need to tell Steve-”

Your hand ripped out of his hand in an instant. “No! No, Ste- His Majesty does not need to know. It does not concern him, therefore he does not need to know. Nor does Natasha. It does not concern them,” you cried out, eyes filling with tears. The sight nearly broke Bucky’s heart.

“Your safety is my number one concern.”

You gaped at him, and the one question you had been holding in finally spouted through. “Why do all of this for me, Bucky? I am merely a servant! I-I am not some princess or queen, just a noblewoman, the queen’s lady! The purpose of my position here is to serve my-”

“Not to me you’re not,” the knight retorted, taking a step back towards the mare and he reached for your waist and pulled you off the saddle and into the warmth of his arms. 

“Bucky!” you yelped, clutching onto his forearms.

But the knight did not listen to you, not as he picked you up and effortlessly carried you until the two of you were under the branches of the towering trees, your back pushed gently up against the base of the tree. 

His hold wasn’t caging or forceful. More careful and gentle. 

“You are so much more than just a lady to me,” Bucky said, exhaling heavily as his eyes bore into yours. “To me, you are everything. Ever since the first moment you stepped into the palace, all I wanted was you. You, woman, have captivated me. You have made me a better knight, a better captain, soldier… a better man.” His shoulders rose and fell, though you did not feel any fear. Not as his hand gently held your cheek. “You have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart. I care about you more than I should, but I don’t care. I protect what I care about. And I will fight a king if it means you are away from harm.”

His heavy breaths fell from parted lips and you couldn’t help as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips. Bucky leaned his forehead against yours.

“You are all I care about. Nothing else matters when I am with you.” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours, melting against you as he felt your lips press into his.

You had been kissed before, but never like this. Never as passionate as this.

Everything Bucky did was gentle. The way he held you, hugged you, kissed you. You would have expected his lips to be chapped and dry from being out in the cold weather, but they were soft against yours and he kissed you, you could not help but smile against his mouth.

You kissed the knight that had shown you nothing but kindness and a delicacy that no man had ever bestowed on you. 

Once you pulled away, shoulders heaving, lips swollen and flushed skin, Bucky pressed his forehead against yours, holding you close. You kept your hands firmly on his chest, sighing softly.

“You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that,” Bucky breathed out and you couldn't help the giggle that passed through your lips. 

“I am glad you did,” you whispered against his cheek. Bucky pressed his lips into the skin of your cheek, trailing down to your jaw. 

He peppered kisses along your jaw, teasing your neck slightly before placing a kiss against your lips. It was short and sweet, the way he held your face could have made you melt where you stood.

“I need names, Y/n.” Bucky whispered against your lips. He pulled away and pulled you into his chest, arms circling around your waist. You wrapped yourself in his warmth, resting your head against his heartbeat. 

You looked up at the lights in the sky again, sighing softly. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”

Bucky pulled you away and pressed his lips against your forehead. “You can tell me tomorrow, honey. But for now, let’s go home.”

Home. It was now in the Northern Lands, you decided. After tonight, there wasn’t anywhere else you would want to be. You wouldn’t trade being in Bucky’s arms on the way home for anything in the world. 

The half of a year being in the north was far better than the eight years spent in the East. 

There, nobody was like Bucky, who offered to help you off a horse, ease the heavy cloak from your shoulders, and walk you to your chambers. 

You hadn’t loved anyone like you loved Bucky. 

He led you to the comfort of your bed, helping you out of your shoes and turning away respectively as you changed into the soft fabric of your nightgown. You sat down on your bed, looking at Bucky as he kneeled in front of you. 

You leaned down and kissed him, pleading eyes boring into his. 

“Can you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” you asked shyly, swallowing nervously, but his warm hand held your cheek. 

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” 

It took a moment before you were both comfortably laying in bed, Bucky’s arms wrapped around you as your back pressed to his chest. He could feel the rigidness of your muscles, so he ran his hand over your stomach, holding you tighter to his chest.

Issues could be resolved tomorrow.

For tonight, you decided everything was okay, and you felt Bucky’s soft lips against your temple before sleep lured you in.

[avecra]

getting my shit together to hopefully post the next chapter of a change in duty in a couple of days,,, :)

[avecra]

Will there be more of A change in duty? Absolutely addicted to it🤍

yeah just have a lot of personal issues going on, i promise it'll be updated soon <3

[avecra]

female gaze.

like who gave him the right to be so hot in the middle of the battle?

[avecra]

[avecra]

Everyone who has to work retail today should be allowed to assault one customer for free

[avecra]

Home With You

summary: You and Bucky celebrate the holidays together.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 908

warnings: minor angst, holiday fluff, mentions of reader having a crappy family, soft!bucky

The snowfall was calming and peaceful as you sat on the window still with your legs stretched out, warm socks pulled up over your dark leggings, watching as your eyes trailed the snow as it landed softly on the compound’s lawn. A small sigh passed through your lips.

You hadn’t planned on spending the holidays alone, spending the few days cooped up in your room, reading the few books you had stacked on your dresser. But after your family had flaked on you for the umpteenth time, being alone seemed to be the only thing you craved.

Besides, it was just you in the compound. Nearly everybody had gone on to do their own thing, visiting home to their families for the holidays, save for Bucky, who had been on a reconnaissance mission for the past five weeks, and he wasn’t due home for another week. The one person you longed for, but you didn’t blame him though, you knew it was out of his reach.

With the little ball of white fur sat on your lap, you leaned your head against the cold surface of the window, closing your eyes and wrapping your sweater tighter around you.

It hadn’t been too bad, you were finally able to do chores you had been pushing off. You had busied yourself with cleaning and exercising, anything to keep your mind busy.

The sudden lighting of the warm lights that Bucky had hung up shortly before you left suddenly flickered on, and your eyes fluttered open and you turned your head to see Bucky standing near your shred dresser. Tears sprung into your eyes as he gave you a soft smile, coming to kneel in front of you.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he breathed out. His hands slid from your hands to your shoulders, to your cheeks, his thumbs caressing your skin as he leaned in and placed a tender kiss on your lips.

“You’re home early,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his.

Bucky chuckled, softly stroking your cheeks. “I really only needed to be there for two weeks,” he huffed, pulling away so he could look you over. “What happened? I thought your family was supposed to visit?”

“They were, but they decided they were just gonna stay home. I guess they didn’t really feel like traveling,” you said. Bucky could sense the sadness laced in your voice. No matter how many times they had canceled on you, it still hurt each time. “It’s just been me and this pretty girl for the past few days.”

Bucky smiled sadly at you and pressed a kiss on your forehead. He was never one for your family, but he maintained neutrality, in your favor. He hated how they made you feel, how one text would shatter your mood, or one phone call would completely change your attitude.

“I’m here now,” he whispered against your hair. “What if I make us some hot chocolate  and we can just sit and watch the snowfall? To make up for your family being crappy.”

You smiled at him, taking a moment to gaze at his features. He was the same as the day you both departed, before he went on his mission. The only difference was the faint dark shadows under his eyes. He was always so considerate, always putting himself first before you.

“You must be tired, honey,” you whispered, shaking your head, but Bucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Buck-”

“We are doing it. Just me and you, sweetheart.” he whispered against your lips before giving you a soft kiss.

You could feel the excitement rolling off him as he bounded across the room, tearing his tact pants off, trading them for a hoodie and the dark flannel pajamas you had gotten him a few months ago.

Once he was comfortably dressed, he gently slid the small cat into his palm, placing her on the blanket that sat on the bed and reached for you, easing you from your spot. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his wrapped around your waist, holding you tighter to his chest. It had been well over a month since you had seen him, and he came just in time, making the night a little bit better.

“I missed you,” you whispered against his neck.

“I missed you too, love,” Bucky kissed your shoulder before pulling back and reaching for your hand, threading your fingers through his. His hold never faltered, not as he led you to the kitchen, stirred the milk all while you leaned into his embrace as he peppered kisses along your jaw.

A feeling of warmth filled your stomach as you sat against Bucky’s chest, watching the snow fall. You placed your mug on the tile floor and curled closer to your boyfriend, peering up at him. A smile graced your face when you found him looking down at you.

“I love you.” Bucky whispered, leaning in to softly kiss your lips. “And I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart.”

You leaned further back into his embrace, grateful that you could spend the last few remaining days of the holidays with the man you loved. Your family wasn’t all the best, but you knew you could always count on Bucky to save the day and lighten your mood, no matter what.

His arms wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. “I know. That’s why I love you so much.”

--

happy holidays! ❤️

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - 6

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 3.7k

chapter warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, pining ensues

series masterlist // next chapter

Bucky was content to stay there all night, with you half-asleep on his chest, but when a breeze passed by harshly and you shivered, he came to a conclusion to walk you to your chambers, regardless of his own desires.

He whispered your name softly, soothing you away from the sleep you so desperately needed. Bucky did not wish to tear you away, but the few shivers that racked through your body made him pull away from you, pressing a hand against your cool cheek. You looked at him through tired eyes as he gingerly swept away the hairs that were caught against your cheek.

“I think it might be time for you to get some sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered against your hair.

A shiver nipped through you, despite the fabric of your nightgown covering your arms, it proved to not be enough. But when Bucky’s palm slid over your shoulders, down your biceps to your wrist, his touch brought warmth. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, assisting as he stood up with you.

Your knees nearly buckled and you fell into his broad chest, fingers clutching at his shirt. His arms tightened around waist, heat rushed to your cheeks. “‘M sorry.”

Your voice was quiet, but Bucky heard you loud and clear. He brushed his hand over your hair and tenderly placed his lips against your forehead as he patiently waited until some feeling retreated back to your legs.

“I got you,” the knight soothed as he ran his hand soothingly down your back. A moment later, you leaned against his side, resting your head against his bicep when he looked at you with patience. “Ready?”

His voice was gentle and sweet, and you would have melted into him had he not tightened his hold once you nodded. You leaned into him as he began to lead you into the warmth of the castle. His touch never faltered, not once, as he led you through the empty corridors, the only light coming from the lamps that were lit every few feet. The only sounds were that of the breeze swifting through the trees.

It was sort of a peaceful night after everything you had told the knight. You hoped that sleep would hopefully come quick and easy tonight.

Bucky glanced down at you, a sad smile playing on his lips as he heard you sniffle against his arm, leaning more in his side. His heart ached for you, for what you had to bear witness to, what you had to endure for all those years.

“You did not deserve any of it, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered against your hair. You peered up at him as he stopped for a moment and grabbed your hand, pressing a kiss to the back of your palm, over raised skin, “and you are just as beautiful with your scars. They mean you survived.”

Tears sprung to your eyes and you quietly whispered ‘thank you’ before leaning your head back against his arm, and Bucky continued down the hall, leading you into the hallway. You tightly grasped his forearm and squeezed gently.  

Your chambers suddenly came into view and Bucky grasped the handle of your door, looking to you for permission. You nodded, and with a push, he had the doors opened and closed within a few seconds.

Heat rushed to your cheeks at the sight of your mangled bed, sheets and blankets thrown haphazardly across your mattress, pillows scattered around the room. Books were spilled in the corner, Bucky noticed and a small smile graced his features. Not at the messiness of your environment.

At the fact that you had the heart to sneak books away from the library. It warmed his heart.

Bucky guided you over to the bed, gently grasping your elbows as you sat on the mattress with a quiet grunt. A shiver racked through you just as you let go of Bucky’s hand. You wrapped your arms around yourself, Bucky noticed and he squeezed your elbow longingly before making his way over to the fireplace, flicking a match over the stoned wall and lighting it to the wood. Heat soon enough began to fill the room and for that you were grateful.

“I am sorry,” you whispered, looking up at the knight through tired eyes as he kneeled in front of you, his hands coming to rest on your knees. “for being so hesitant and quiet around you. Even though you have been the most gentle. I…I am just so tired--”

But Bucky gently shushed you, drawing his hand up your thigh soothingly. His eyes held nothing close to irritation or malice, only worry in the blues of his eyes. His touch was gentle against the thin fabric of your pajamas, and it  brought butterflies to your stomach everytime he touched you.

“There is no need to apologize, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered, his hands reaching for yours. “You have endured a lot in your life, I do not blame you for being the way you are.” His tone was soft, his deep voice nearly lulled you to sleep.

“You have been so nice to me since I have arrived, a-and I have given you the cold shoulder--”

Bucky pressed his lips to the scar that ran from your thumb to the middle of your wrist, stopping you in your doubts. He looked up at you and rose to his feet, coming to sit next to you. He gently grasped your chin between his fingers.

“You do not owe me anything, Y/n, I treat you the way I do on my own accord. You, Lady, should not even be looking at the rugged captain,” Bucky teased, smiling when the corners of your mouth lifted up slightly. “You do not owe me anything.”

A surge of confidence came over him as he leaned forward and tenderly pressed his lips against your forehead. You leaned into him, shoulders slouching as a wave of drowsiness came over you. Bucky felt your sluggish movements.

“Lay down, honey,” Bucky softly instructed against your skin. His gentle hands pushing you down against the sheets, delicately drawing the sheets up to your shoulders. Your eyelids were heavy as tone, and you felt his hand run over your hair. “You can let go now, sweetling.”

Before your eyes fully closed, you looked at him through tired eyes and whispered, “Thank you, James.”

Bucky smiled as your eyes drifted shut, knowing they would not open to reveal the beautiful shades until the sun rose. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, adjusting the sheets around your shoulders before he rose to his feet. If it were entirely up to him, he would stay all night by your side, to ensure that no memories plagued your slumber. But he himself had a duty to uphold, so he looked over your form one last time before making his way to the door, ready to turn in for the night.

But Bucky was not prepared to come face to face with Natasha at nearly half past midnight.

The knight jumped slightly as he made contact with striking emerald eyes. Her posture was relaxed, both arms resting calmly at her sides, a pitcher of water was held in her grasp.

“Captain Barnes,” There was no accusatory tone when she called his name, though Bucky was at a loss for words.

“Your Grace,” Bucky reiterated, eyeing her suspiciously.  “If you may know, I was merely assisting her to bed.”

Natasha took a step forward, green eyes assessing every part of Bucky’s form; his face, his clothes, the small pocket knife that sat on his hip. He looked eminently human for being the Captain of the Knight Guard, dressed in the most informal wear.

“I know,” she replied. “I would never look down upon you and her together, you know. But I will thank you.”

Bucky frowned. “Thank me?”

Natasha nodded, her eyes glancing from your door to the knight. “My lady… she has been through the unimaginable, yet still is up every day before I. But since our arrival, since she has been acquainted with you, I can sense the change in her. Even if it is only a small bit.”

“You do not need to thank me, Your Grace,” Bucky said in a low voice, sending one last glance at your door. “Her company makes my days more manageable.”

Natasha nodded at him and continued to make her way down the hall, though she casted back a glance towards the knight, whose fingers ran along the wood of your door longingly.

“James.” She called his name one last time. “If anything does happen, just now that you have my blessing. I surely hope something does arise.”

Bucky smiled and bowed towards his future Queen. “As do I, Your Grace.”

---

For the first time in months, you had a restful night’s sleep. You woke up to the slight warmth that radiated on your face.

Blinking your eyes open, you wiped the sleep from your eyes as you glanced between the open window and fluttering curtains to the woman standing at the entrance of your closet, her red hair braided down her back.  

“Nat?” you sleepily called, rubbing the back of your hand across your eyes as you pushed yourself on your elbows. “W-what are you doing here?”

Natasha turned around, giving you a small smile before making her way over to your bedside, sitting on the edge. She placed a hand on your shoulder and tenderly squeezed , giving you a soft smile.                          

“I am merely worried about my dearest friend is all,” she softly spoke, running her hands over your hair, tucking a few strands behind your ear. She sighed, watched as you sat up against the pillows. “Is there something on your mind?”

Her hands reached for yours, pulling them into her lap as her thumbs caressed the backs of your palms, you could feel the question radiating from her, on the tip of her tongue as her lips parted.

“You are curious about my hands,” you said softly, catching her eyes flickering between your crumpled sheets and your hands. You sighed softly, tightening your hold on her. “I should have told you a long time ago, but I was not sure if I was ready. I do not know if I am even ready today, but I do not want to live a life of misery.”

And so, as you told her about everything.

The sweet Queen, the vile King, the harrowing Princes. The nights you were locked in your chambers with no food, no water, no heat. The way you were subjected to years of loneliness, years of violence tainted your skin with scars, bruises that started in dark ugly colors slowly transforming to lighter colors until it completely vanished, only to have another one appear a day later.

You told her, gauging her reaction as she watched you with saddened eyes, a frown playing on her lips. Oh, how everything was now so different from your former life was from this. You did not have anyone who thought of you more than just a Lady before Natasha. She was the one, always pitching in to have you tag along when she and Steve went out, or even if she wished to stay in the gardens in silence, she would want you by her side.

Natasha was everything you had ever wished for in a companion. She always listened, cared for you when you needed it. It had taken a long while to even get used to it. You were still getting used to it today, even when her wedding was just a few months away.

Tears sat in her waterline and you squeezed her hand gently. She met your eye and you gave her a smile, though it was not bright, it still reached your eyes. Natasha blinked the tears away and pulled you into her embrace, arms wrapping around your shoulders.

“Oh, my sweetest darling,” Natasha gasped into your shoulder, but you wrapped your arms around her waist and sighed.

“I am alright now, Nat,” you reassured her, pulling back to wipe the single tear that raced down your cheek. “I am trying to be better.”

Natasha nodded and squeezed your shoulder gently before pulling away. “I know, lady,” She stood up from the bed, pouring water from the pitcher that sat on your nightstand into a mug and offered it to you. “I want you to rest up for a few days, please. I shall need my lady by my side when we go over the guest list in just a couple months.”

The despair in her voice made your stomach fill with guilt. You had not truly realized how poorly you had been treating yourself until you broke down in Bucky’s arms, just hours prior. Rest and sleep was something you needed desperately. So, you nodded and fell back into the pillows while Natasha brought your pile of books closer.

“I will come check on you later, yes?” Natasha affirmed, pecking your cheek before making her exit. You nodded from your pile of pillows that you were snug comfortably within the blankets.

You could feel yourself drifting back to sleep once Natasha made her way out, softly closing the door shut. This time, only dreams of baby blue eyes invaded your mind.

---

Orange leaves were scattered about the garden, Bucky noticed on his way to the stable. An autumn breeze passed through when he opened the stable doors, passing through the stalls until he came upon his dark mare.

“Morning Dahlia,” he muttered low, gliding his hand along the mare’s spine, easing her a bit before placing his saddle over, tightening the leather straps under her ribcage. Adjusting the leather stirrups. “How about a ride through the forest?”

Quiet knocking tore him from adjusting the saddle as he turned around, coming to face with you. Hair neatly brushed and styled naturally and a dark cloak sat over the dress that fit you perfectly in all the right places is the beautiful sight he was met with.

“Good morning, my lady,” Bucky said, smiling as you made your way over to him. He reached out and grasped your hand. “I am glad to see you are feeling better.”

“I am, James,” you whispered, smiling to suppress the gasp as he tenderly kissed your hand. “I just wanted to say thank you for the other night. I… I appreciate you greatly.”

Bucky smiled, nodding as he let go of your hand, returning to his task beforehand. From the corner of his eye, he saw you walk around the mare. A cautious hand held out, but Dahlia pushed her head instantly.

An idea floated about in his mind when he watched you adjusting the reins.

“If you are free today… I was just going into town for a small sweet treat and for a ride in the forest, you are welcome to join me, only if you would like.” Bucky said, hoping he would have a companion for his day.

You looked up at him, a genuine smile coming across your lips and you nodded. “I would love to.”

“Really?” Bucky confirmed, and when you nodded, he pumped his fist in the air, emitting a small, quiet giggle from you. Gods, if he could hear that sound for the rest of his life, he would die a happy man.

You continued to watch him quietly, only stepping forward when he beckoned you. You had only ever ridden on horseback a couple of times, you did not know what to expect. It made your stomach flutter with anticipation.

“Tell me beautiful lady, what is your favorite sweet delight here in the North?” Bucky asked, packing a few supplies before taking off. He grabbed the reins and led the mare out of the stall, towards the garden, and you followed in suit.

You stood in front of the knight, watching as he placed his hands upon your waist, nodding at you all whilst counting down from three under his breath. On one, he histed you in the air, a surprised yelp fell from your lips as he placed you on the back of the saddle.

“I am afraid I have not tried any sweets here,” you replied to his question. “Perhaps you can advise me on which option is the best.”

Bucky placed his foot in the stirrup and hoisted himself onto the staddle in front of you. You were unsure where to put your hands, Bucky glanced at you from over his shoulder, meeting your gaze. Your fingers gripped his tunic tightly as Dahlia took a few steps. Wordlessly, Bucky gingerly grasped both your wrists with his hands and wrapped them around his waist. You blew out a tense breath before Dahlia started to gallop out of the palace, through the gate and into the forest of trees.

Saffron and crimson colored leaves colored and decorated the trees as you gripped onto Bucky tighther, resting your head against his shoulder. In the distance, you could see deers running along, doe’s with their fawns and the bucks looking over them. Rabbits burrowed into logs and birds flew high above the trees, some coming down to fly alongside Dahlia.

It was such a refresher having the ability to go around the kingdom and its grounds. To see the beauty that the land had to offer. And it was all so beautifully breathtaking.

You wondered how it would look in the winter, how much snow would be filled everywhere, how low the temperature would get. And as if he could read your mind Bucky spoke.

“During the winter months, the sight of the woods with snow is beautiful, though not that beautiful to be caught in.”

“Cold?” you asked him and he chuckled and nodded.

“I know these forests like the back of my hand,” he spoke over his shoulder. “I urge you to stay away, if you are not accompanied by me or my knights. It can be truly dangerous if you get lost.”

You nodded against his shoulder, marveling at the sights around you once again. Town began to come into view and anticipation fluttered as Bucky directed Dahlia towards the edge of the shops and businesses, pulling the mare off to the side.

Bucky dismounted as reached for your waist, waiting until your hands were on his shoulders to hoist you off. His hold was gentle and tender as he placed you on the soft grass, offering his arm to you, which you gladly took.

He led you into a small bakery, and the sweet smell of pastries and sugar invaded your senses and you tightened your hold on his arm, wondering about all the sweets that sat on display, freshly baked. You held onto the knight as the two of you made your way to the front.

“Captain Barnes, a pleasure to see you again,” The woman from behind the counter said kindly, eyes drifting from the captain to you. “Lady Y/n, a pleasure to see you as well.”

You had been acquainted with May Parker, young Peter’s aunt who visited the palace every other week with fresh pastries for the knights. You smiled and nodded at her as Bucky gave her a few coins.

“A blackberry and strawberry puff pastry, please.” Bucky said, turning to you. “I have a feeling you will enjoy both.”

“What about yours?” you inquired as the woman wrapped the pastries in parchment and before you knew it, you and Bucky were on the way back to Dahlia.

“Are you not accustomed to sharing, milady?” Bucky chuckled, leaning against his mare and began to unwrap the pastries.

A heat rushed to your cheeks, but quickly retreated as Bucky winked at you, offering the pastry to your lips. You leaned forward and bit off a piece of the dessert. It was flaky, buttery, soft and tangy and you looked up at Bucky with a grin.

“Oh my lords, that is delicious,” you muttered, taking another bite when Bucky offered. He had not even taken a bite himself. He would have you geet both of them first before he even got a taste. “Will you please save some for yourself, James?”

Bucky shook his head, offering you a cheeky smile. “I will be fine, sweetheart.”

A bit of crusted strawberry filling sat at the corner of your lips and without thinking, Bucky took a step forward, cleaning off the small mess of strawberry with the pad of his thumb. His fingers were calloused and rough against the softness of your skin as he held your chin in his grasp. You wondered if he was going to pull away, despite not wanting him to, but he kept his hold on you, the baby blues of his eyes flickering from your gaze to your slightly chapped lips.

Your heartbeat nearly skipped as he leant forward, his nose lightly brushing against yours. You wanted to push forward, you almost did push yourself, but the sounds of leaves crunching underneath small feet tore you away from the knight.

Rushing forward, a little girl with braided pigtails came running and crashed into Bucky’s legs, giggles emitting from her small body. Bucky gave you an apologetic look before leaning down to pick the young girl up.

“Hi, Captain,” the little girl gasped out, gripping onto his shoulders.

“Young Cassie, what are you up to today, little one?” Bucky sighed as he turned to you. “Have you met Lady Y/n yet?”

You nodded, smiling brightly at the young girl who gave you the goofiest grin imaginable. “Yes, she has. I had the honor of meeting her and her brave father a few weeks ago.”

The little girl giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a quick hug before launching herself out of his arms and running back towards her mother, who gave both you and Bucky a wave.

“How did you like it?” Bucky asked a moment later, and you looked up at him with a smile. You leaned into his embrace and sighed.

“It was delicious. Thank you,” you said quietly, looking around. “And thank you for the ride and treats. I am enjoying this greatly, Ja-” you paused, meeting his eye as he looked at you with his full attention. “Thank you, Bucky.”

The captain smiled and leaned forward, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth, hoisting you back on the saddle,smiling at your yelp mixed with a giggle. “You are welcome, sweetheart.”

---

tags - @emmabarnes @impala1967666 @yourlocalwriterangie @raging-panda @the-chocoholic-writer @ladyoakenshield157 @sebsgirl71479 @vampiresarezombies

[avecra]

A Change In Duty - 5

series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.

pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader

word count: 3.2k

chapter warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, descriptions of abuse and scars, protective!bucky, our lady's past is revealed

series masterlist // next chapter

The  sound of a sword clashing against his shield tore Bucky out of his reverie, ocean blue eyes darting over to Steve’s figure ahead of him. The weapon in his hand slackened for a moment and Steve pulled back for a moment.

“What is wrong with you? Are you ill?” the King asked, brows furrowing in on the knight.

Bucky released a tense breath and rolled out his shoulders. He looked over the training yard, seeing Sam start to go over different fighting positions with Peter. The captain had not had a chance to fully train his young apprentice, and as second in command, Sam took the opportunity.

“No” Bucky bit out. “Nothing is the matter. I am fine.”

Steve snorted, stabbing the blade of his swords into the grassy grounds. He had known Bucky nearly his entire life, from childhood all the way to adulthood, he could tell when his old friend was lying. And this was one of those moments.

“I can tell you are lying, Buck,” The knight rolled his eyes in response. “Did something happen with Y/n?”

At the sound of your name, Bucky’s shoulders tensed and he looked away, shaking his head slightly. He ran a hand through his messy hair, taking his sword and sheathing it back onto his belt. He had done enough training, and for the first time in a while, Bucky had felt completely drained.

“Nothing is wrong,” Bucky again, meeting Steve’s concerned look. “Natasha has not said anything to you about her, has she?”

There was hopefulness in his voice, but it was quickly dismissed as Steve shook his head. “All I know is that she has not been around as often. But Nat did mention she has been having insomnia issues, so if anything, she is catching up on her rest.” Steve replied. “Nat has said she has not been sleeping through the night. If you are worried, I would suggest checking in on her.”

The look on Bucky’s face screamed that of guilt, wanting to wither away with the storm that was approaching. He never meant to overwhelm or make you uncomfortable in the slightest. And for a moment, his thoughts began to spiral, about if it was him who had made you upset, if he had caused your insomnia.

Though it was not his fault, Bucky could not help but feel as if it was. He was the last person besides Natasha that had seen you, and that worried him. From the moment you had arrived to the kingdom, you had made it your personal goal to visit a new part of the palace everyday, with Bucky as your guide of course. But you had not emerged from your chambers, only to tend to Natasha. But even then, your presence was scarce, Steve noticed. He had not seen you as much as he used to before.

“I may have frightened her, if I am being honest.” Bucky finally spoke, gaining Steve’s full attention. He nodded his head, urging Bucky to continue on. “A few days ago, I found her in the stables and she met Dahlia. Damn mare likes her more than me now and I had told her that Dahlia was quietly taken with her as I was, and she ran off. I have not seen her since.”

Steve could see the genuine disappointment, the raw guilt that spread across Bucky’s face and he leaned forward and tightly grasped his shoulder, urging him to look him in the eye. Though he had only known you for a short while, he could see the look of admiration in your eyes whenever you gazed at Bucky, whether next to him or across the room away from each other. Steve had a feeling deep down that you reciprocated the same feelings for Bucky as he did you, but a part of you was hesitant.

“I do not think you are the reason, Buck. I think she is just… transitioning from a very formal life to this,” Steve reassured him, a somber look loomed over his features. “I have suspicions that she has not lived a well life, and she was maybe just engulfed by everything.”

Bucky had the same suspicions as well. The jumpiness whenever he had caught you off guard, how you apologized for the minor inconveniences, how swollen your lips would be from your constant chewing.

There was a reason you acted the way you did, and although Bucky waited until you came to him, it killed him everytime he had to ease you from a near panic attack.

“Someone as beautiful and pure as her should not have anything to keep her up at night,” Bucky murmured, staring at the ground.  

Steve sighed and nodded, agreeing with the notion, but his mind flashed to the scars that were on the backs of your palms. “The world is not always in favor of the kindest souls.”

That alone made Bucky’s shoulders slacken. “I know.”

“Like I said, check up on her. She may be searching for comfort.”

Bucky watched as Steve walked off over to Sam. His mind wandered to you, anxious to know if you truly were okay

He did not think he could rest until he found out.

---

“Are you alright, lady?”

You stirred, shaking your head slightly, barely registering Natasha’s gentle voice. You turned to see the concerned look upon her face, and you offered her a smile in response. Natasha could tell it was strained.

“I have not been sleeping well is all. The exhaustion is just getting to me, I suppose.” you replied, eyes casting down to the table that sat covered with wedding invitations.

You began to reach for one more, ready to press the stamp against the hot wax, sealing the invitation, but Natasha pulled it just out of your reach, green eyes searching yours.

“You look exhausted, lady,” Natasha whispered urgently, her brows furrowing with concern. But stubbornness got the best of you and you brushed it off. “I am dismissing you for the day, Y/n.”

Your eyes flickered up to hers and you bit your lip. She reached out and grasped your hand and squeezed lightly, pulling your attention away from the paper on the table to her, “Please get some proper rest. As your friend, I am deeply concerned that you may be unwell if this continues.”

You sighed and nodded. “Just please get some rest, honey. You look as if you are going to pass out.”

She shooed you away playfully, drawing a smile out of you, albeit tired. Excusing yourself, you made your way out of the room and wrapped your arms around yourself, walking across the outdoor corridor that overlooked the training grounds, catching a glimpse of the captain and the king, sparring with each other.

But you noticed how distracted Bucky had seemed, taking all the hits Steve poured him with, barely defending himself. Guilt ate away at your stomach, wondering if you were the cause of it.

Perhaps it was you who rendered the captain unable to focus. You had avoided him for several days and each passing day ate away at your stomach. You never meant to push him away, but you felt all too real memories start to enclose around your vision that you just could not take it.

You reluctantly pulled away from the sight of Bucky and continued to make your way back to your chambers. Pushing the door open, you had fire going in only a few minutes, and immediately melted into your bed, sighing to yourself.

Although sleep came to you quickly, you were not accounting for the hellish nightmares that would soon plague your mind.

---

The palace was quiet as Bucky made his rounds, surveying the castle grounds before he turned in for the night.

It was normally this quiet, save for the light breeze that passed through the trees. And Bucky found a sense of peace whenever he did his rounds. He always did, relishing in the peaceful quiet that devoured the garden.

Except for tonight.

Along with the gentle breeze, he heard the faint sound of sniffling. His steps quickened in their pace upon hearing the sound, his boots dragging across the pebbled walkway through the gardens until he came upon a bench surrounded by trees and bushes.

He was not expecting to see you, red strained eyes and tears stained cheeks with your hands folded in your lap so formally.

Bucky was conflicted whether to leave you be or comfort you, but the moment a muffled whimper passed through your lips, he found himself unable to control his movements as he made a beeline towards you, stopping a few feet away from the bench.

“Y/n?” Bucky called carefully, brows coming to furrow in concern. He had seen you get flustered and anxious, but he had never once seen you cry.

And the sight made his heart clench painfully.

Your head snapped up at his soft voice and instinctively, scrubbed your cheeks with the back of your hand. Blurred, teary eyes looked up at Bucky and you sniffled once, clearing your throat and resting your hands in your lap. You looked at him with guilt as he took a step closer to you.

“Hi,” you whispered tearfully, offering him half a smile. He tested the waters and slid onto the bench beside you, releasing a tense breath when you welcomed his presence.

“Hi,” Bucky replied back, offering a small smile. He carefully held his hand out and sighed in relief once you slid your fingers along his palm and Bucky grasped your fingers gently. “I am sorry about the other day in the stables. I should not have pushed you or-”

You shook your head and sniffled, rubbing the back of your hand across your cheeks once more, hoping to rid the tears away. “You do not need to apologize. I… I am sorry, James. I am just not my usual self.”

He could see the evidence; the darkening circles under your eyes, how you only appeared when Natasha did, how you avoided everything and everyone.

“Are you alright?” Bucky asked, and for a moment you were hesitant to answer.

The lack of sleep was finally starting to get to you, you concluded. Sleep evaded you every night, from the constant play of memories. But like an angry wave during a treacherous storm, it had all crashed on you. Nearly every night you were tormented with memories that kept you awake for hours.

Memories that had begun to affect your life, your relationship with Bucky. You had not meant to run away from him in the stables, but the former rules that you had to precisely follow still stuck to you. You had not meant to avoid him, opting to stay in your chambers when you were away from Natasha. It was a reflex.

“I am,” you replied to him. “Just cannot sleep is all.”

Bucky’s thumb ran across your knuckles, tenderly caressing the tip of one of the many scars. You shivered slightly.

“What keeps you up at night, milady?”

His voice was soft and gentle and delicate. He had shown you nothing but kindness since you arrived. He had offered you a tour of the palace, shown you the beautiful library, accompanied you into town and introduced you to everyone he knew. The captain had shown you a tenderness you had not experienced in a long while, he deserved to know why you were the way you were.

“I… am kept up by memories,” you confessed quietly, glancing up at Bucky, slowly gauging his reaction. But you were only met with tender blue eyes that urged you on.

It is okay to let your guard down.

“You can tell me anything, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he soothed and your stomach fluttered at the sweet name he had called you. “Please let me help you. I can tell you uneasily and I just want to make you feel safe and stable.”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded and gently pulled your hand out of Bucky’s hold, wringing your hands in your lap. Where do you even start?

“Before I was acquainted with Natasha, I was an assistant to this kind, older queen. She was very reserved, humble and sweet. I really did love working for her,” you began, your eyes shadowing a sort of sadness. Bucky nodded, urging you to continue. “It was a long time ago, but I feel like I still remember everything.”

Tears blurred your vision and you sniffled, releasing a tense breath. “The queen… she was the only kindness I had known in the East. Though she was older than me, I still felt like I could come to her with anything. And for a few years I did, until her son and nephew moved back after the war, once they were comfortably situated in the castle again is when it began. The queen only needed me to dress and accompany her to visit her lady friends, but when I was dismissed for the day, her son… he would-”

A tear slipped down your cheek and before you were able to harshly wipe it away, Bucky beat you to it, tenderly swiping his thumb across your cheek.

“They were so cruel and vile to me, but I could not deny whatever request they had for me. I was strictly the queen’s assistant, but they sought to get me to do whatever they wanted. And when I refused,” You swallowed thickly, glaring at the scars that covered the back of your hands. “punishment followed in my footsteps. They would tell the king, and he would have no mercy on me.”

Bucky took your hand in his and delicately ran his thumb over the raised skin. You bit your lip to suppress the sob that etched its way up your throat, but still you continued on.

“When I put the queen to bed for the night, he would have me attend to him and If I put up the slightest hint of an attitude, he would-” You held in the shuddering breath, focusing on Bucky’s warming touch. “he would sometimes hit me, other times he would lock me in my chambers with no food or warmth, but the majority of the time he would grasp my wrist tightly and slide his knife along my arms and hands. The worst of it came from their son and nephew. She told me I was free to do anything, to see anybody I wished, but the king… he was a cruel tyrant that held no respect for me. He corrected my behavior with physical violence.”

Realization hit Bucky hard. He now understood why you had been so hesitant to start a relationship, why you were so tense and quiet around him.

You were never allowed to converse with anyone without being punished for it.

“But she never knew. I attended to her every morning, hiding wounds and scars from her for eight years. How could I ever tell her that her husband and her family were monsters to me? I would have been sent to the dungeons for it.”

“Y/n…” Bucky started, but you did not hear him as more tears cascaded down your cheeks.

“But the princes, they were the most cruel to me. If I did something wrong it was a backhand to the cheek, or no food for the night. No fire during the colder months. They treated me awfully, demanding I do a certain thing and if I refused… they would -- c-choke me until my vision danced with black spots, I-I had no way out for all those y-years.”

Heavy sobs passed through your lips and Bucky snaked his arm around your back, pulling you against his chest, his other hand coming to cradle the back of your head, softly stroking your hair as you cried and sobbed against his neck.

It broke his heart to hear your cries, a small inkling feeling he had told him this was the first moment you had ever told anyone what had happened.

His gut clenched painfully as you explained with a tearful voice the mistreatment you had to endure for nearly a decade, the notion that you had to pretend like nothing was wrong. He could not even begin to imagine the pain you went through, the feeling of loneliness, not having anyone. But above all, it made his blood boil at the physical violence you were subjected to.

The shy, quiet Queen’s Lady that upheld the duties she had to her royals.

You gripped his tunic tightly, pressing your face further into his warmth, and his hand made work, rubbing soothing circles along your back. He whispered sweet assurances quietly in your ear, “It’s okay. You’re safe now, sweetling. I will not let anyone hurt you.”

His lips pressed to the top of your hair, resting his head against yours until your cries quieted down into small sniffles, but you did not pull away from him. Though the voice in your head urged you to pull away, you remained still in his arms. You were drawn to him, as he was almost a sense of security to you.

“I am sorry for pushing you away,” you spoke after a while. “I trust you greatly, James. I should have told you sooner,” you began, but Bucky shook his head and pulled back to gently slide his hands up your neck, coming to hold your face gently. You melted into his touch instantly. “I am sorry for being so nervous around you. I know you would never hurt me it’s just--”

His thumbs swept delicately over your damp cheeks, ridding the dried tears away. “I know, sweetling. But you never have to apologize for anything. I understand this is not an easy thing to talk about, but I promise, if you ever need me, I will be at your side in an instant.”

You smiled, albeit a small one, but still a smile nonetheless, and leaned more into Bucky’s hands, stomach fluttering as his thumb caressed your skin. You had not realized how touch deprived you truly were, melting into his hold. You liked the feeling of being in his embrace, having his arms wrapped around your body protectively, the soothing feeling of his hand rubbing gentle circles over your back.

Bucky pulled you back into his embrace, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, and he smiled into your hair. He felt your body finally slacken, the tension rolling off your body in waves the longer he held you. He was content to stay here for hours, but he had a feeling that you were exhausted.

But you made no move away from him, pressing your cheek against his chest, nose pressing against his throat. A breeze passed through the garden, rustling above in the trees and traveled down to the benches, sifting through your embrace with Bucky. You shivered in his embrace slightly and you felt him hold you tighter. When his lips pressed against your temple, your breath hitched and if it were entirely possible, you pressed yourself tighter to him. You wanted nothing more than to hide in his warmth for the rest of your night. You clutched at his tunic, not daring, not wanting to let go.

Your breathing began to even out and though it was late, nearing midnight, Bucky knew he should have walked you to your chambers by now. But given the emotions that poured out of you as you confessed your horrible past, you did not have the desire to move.

But Bucky did not either, and for now, he was content to stay on the bench with you wrapped in his arms.

---

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[avecra]

HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy