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[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

Loneliness in a Big City

A big city, and dating do go hand in hand.  Every one goes through the motion of masquerading a fabulous life, adventure after adventure, party after party, and instagram pic after snapchat story.  We put a valencia filter on our life to make it seem like it’s so exciting and so incredible.  In a city like this, it’s extremely easy.  The problem is, the people here are exactly in the same boat.  Shallow relationships built off of quick lunches, bar shots, and instagram selfies making your relationship even closer, it’s nearly impossible for your life to feel genuine. Nothing about life here is very genuine.  I’m not even genuine.  So if we can’t be authentic in order to build what hollow bonds we have, what can we do?  When a city like this turns you away because you don’t “fit in” and no matter what filter you put on, you can’t filter out the emptiness in your heart, what more is there to do?  Will one day we escape from the overwhelming sense of loneliness I feel?  Will I just cave under the pressure?  Will I meet someone that’ll help change that.  Hopefully so...but until then.  I’ll continue to partake in the bar hops, the one-night ragers, the scheduled quick meets in small catch up conversations, continuously wading through the herds of people shrouding the fact that despite the crowds, we still feel so alone.

[averagegayworld]

Me when I first told my best friend I was gay.

Me: I'm gay.

Bf: I already knew

Me: Oh, great...

Also me: Are you fcking kidding me? It took me 17 years to discovered it myself and you already knew it? Why didn't you tell me? We're supposed to tell us everything.

[averagegayworld]

It’s okay. It may not seem like it right now, but you are going to be fine. I know it’s scary, but don’t be afraid. You are who you are, and you should love that person, and I don’t want anyone to have to go through 22 years of their life afraid to accept that

Connor Franta (via real-lesbian-thoughts)

[averagegayworld]

Being Gay and Single

One of the largest issues I find in our local communities is the deep rooted feeling of being lonely.  As a gay man, I feel like I’ve been “lonely” my entire life.  I was lonely in school when I felt that I was the only gay kid out there.  I felt like I would never be wanted, I would never find someone, and I would never be loved because I didn’t deserve to be loved.  This feeling of loneliness has carried over into my adult life. Grindr, Tindr, Bumble, Scruff, and all of these gay apps are being used constantly in search of love, well shrouded over the search for sex, hookups, and “friendships”.  We seek comfort from another person in the form of our sexual desires, thinking that it fills a void of the loneliness we feel in our lives.  We see these instagram models idolizing them, and the incredibly cute couples envying their social media happiness.  So what do I do?  Hop on Grindr to invite a guy over to fill not just a physical hole, but the hole in my heart. Why is that I feel the need to be comforted by another man, even if it’s temporarily by a warm body in my bed?  Should I be enough for me?  No…I’m not sure I’ll ever be enough for me.  Many say that we should never need another man to give us happiness but I truly believe that gay men are more pre-disposition to have this void because we lacked this void in our youth.  We missed out on the love and acceptance growing up because we all constantly lived in fear.  We didn’t learn how to be happy with our selves then and we still face that issue as an adult.

Being gay and single is hard as fuck when we’re constantly bombarded by the physical expectations blown at us from the instagram models, and the media portraying the perfect gay relationship.  We are all expected to overcome some sort of standard to prove to the straight community that we can work, and we are all in search of love and acceptance we were lacking in our youth.  We hear the term “gay death” when a man becomes too old and are deemed no longer attractive.  We are too old, too young, too skinny, too fat, too asian, too black, too ethnic, too basic, too much for an actual relationship.  How are we ever to find love when we can’t even find acceptance in our own community?  Why does being gay and single have to be so hard?

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

Relationship goal: Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton 💖💖

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

merry & bright

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]

Annual Year in Review | 2015 

[averagegayworld]

Oh, look! It’s coffee o clock.

[averagegayworld]

[averagegayworld]