avesha17

[avesha17]

love is just as complicated as you!

love is just as complicated as you!

I have the hardest time understanding things sometimes and maybe I am not meant to!  I have always been driven to look for a deeper meaning and know the “why” behind everything, almost like its a soul quest.  That is my purpose! At this point in my life, I am working on some pretty big personal / emotional goals.   To let go of things that do not bring joy into my world;To trust myself and…

[avesha17]

Simple steps to dating and relationship success

Simple steps to dating and relationship success

The struggle isn’t real, its perceived, dating can be fun if that is what you choose– self The dreaded dating app, the one we all download but don’t want to. We curse ourselves and the app for having to use it but our logical mind says, how else will the Universe know what to bring you if you do not take the steps to finding someone. I have to say I agree. There are those people you meet that…

[avesha17]

what does your story say about you?

what does your story say about you?

It takes a great and deeper understanding of self to know that within this life lives the story of your life, your script, which lays out your wants, needs, desires, and cravings or lack thereof.  The cool part is, its your story to figure out.  No else else can write your story, only you. There is no right or wrong when it comes to your personal story, its all about what you want and maybe…

[avesha17]

what the fuck is self love?

what the fuck is self love?

I love when people ask me that?   My response is always the same, its personal to YOU! My personal definition of self love is awareness, its being kind to yourself, trusting yourself, asking yourself for advice before you run to others.  Its trusting that you will not abandon or neglect yourself.  Its being incredibly comfortable in your own skin! I had a client yesterday who said to me “I…

[avesha17]

Are you a co-dependent?

Are you a co-dependent?

Are you questioning if you are a co-dependent, deeply involved in a toxic relationship with either an addict, another co-dependent, avoidant or narcassist? First, lets start with defining co-dependency. What Is Codependency? Codependency is a relationship pattern where a person becomes overly focused on helping, rescuing or controlling others. Their identity gets defined by what they do rather…

[avesha17]

You should be your own best friend

You should be your own best friend

It sounds cliché, but as we struggle with so many life situations, which sometimes for us to learn how to forge forward during really tough times ,it is good to be grounded in who we are and what brings us joy. I believe in joy, whatever package that comes in, because life is short and the negative will always be there, so why stay in it. It can take a lifetime of many and sometimes painful…

[avesha17]

Choose yourself

When we choose to be in a relationship with someone who tends to have excessive emotional baggage or who appears to be emotionally unavailable we unfortunately step into a relationship filled with manipulation, neglect and sometimes even abuse which tends to bring out the worst in us. Let’s face it, it is quite easy to fall into these types of relationships, especially if we have unresolved…

[avesha17]

Allow your past lovers to be your greatest teachers

Allow your past lovers to be your greatest teachers

For now, this moment, let us try to understand what brought us to where we are.  Let us be kind to ourselves as we dive deep into our soul and carve out a space for acceptance as we recognize each and every person that has brought us to life and to the depths of despair in our time together. When we ruminate on what was, and what could be, we are ignoring what is.   What brought us to where we…

[avesha17]

let go of the story, it is no longer serving you

let go of the story, it is no longer serving you

In a time that seems and feels so dark where we focus only on the lack, the dysfunction and the pain we feel, I find its time to shift that perspective that will help us to find our happy place. Let’s leave all of those thoughts behind us and focus on what is vs. what should be. Let’s celebrate the happiness, the triumphs, the wins, what excites us, what works and what has stayed. Yes, we have…

[avesha17]

Walking away...

Walking away…

I don’t miss you…I want to, but I don’t. How is it that after two years the only impact you had on my life was negative? How is it that after two years I only walked away with knowing what I don’t want in a relationship vs. what I do. I guess its because walking away from you empowered me, it gave me the strength I needed to go deep and look inside myself for the why’s of staying, settling and…

[avesha17]

The forty day challenge of needing a man in my life!

The forty day challenge of needing a man in my life!

My whole life I have been strong, independent, feisty and incredibly driven. Growing up in a seriously dysfunctional household, I handled it many different ways. I acted out, a lot and to maintain a sense of sanity I gained complete control over my own life and choices at a very early age. I have always been seeking what I fear the most, an amazing man. However, despite this deep desire, I have…

[avesha17]

How is dating is like house hunting?

How is dating is like house hunting?

Consider dating like house shopping…. While coaching a client (and amazing friend) I used this analogy and we both loved it…we decided to take it to the next level so I could write an article on this topic. So hear me out… Before you start your house hunt the first thing you do is make a list of what you are looking for, which usually includes “nice to haves” and “non-negotiables”, right? For…

[avesha17]

Scars...

Scars…

Five years ago today, my world came crashing down around me. Its 5am, my husband jumps out of bed and yells at me to go make coffee…I look down at a my phone and there are so many messages from Pete…why? For months I knew something wasn’t right, but we had only just gotten married, how can things have gone so wrong so quickly. The signs were there. This man who was borderline obsessed with me,…

[avesha17]

What is love?

A coaching client of mine recently asked me these questions “what is love and how do you know when you feel it?” “can you love many people?” “does love end?”. I love her for being so curious and exploring these questions which in turns makes me dig deep to explore how I view love. The truth is, those are all such amazing and controversial questions! (which is actually how I responded to…

[avesha17]

What is your support language?

What is your support language?

I just read a fantastic article on Goop about Support Language and how to self identify your own support language with the concept that once you know what you need to feel supported you can share this information with your life partner, boss, family members, children, etc. so they are aware of how to meet your support needs, and visa versa. What a fantastic concept, which tends to mirror the…

[avesha17]

A letter to a covert narcissist

A letter to a covert narcissist

To the man who enters the dating scene with the knowledge that he is completely unavailable, love avoidant, love phobic and a womanizer with a deep rooted fear of commitment and engulfment and an inability to commit but continues to date women who have the desire for a real true commitment. Please fix yourself! This poor unsuspecting woman who you are gaslighting has no idea who you really are,…

[avesha17]

Patterns

Changing relationship patterns is not easy. These patterns, whether they be co-dependency, addiction to toxic love/people or being love avoidant are all ingrained in our psyche and we literally have been carving out this pathway in our brain from the time we first experienced whatever trauma brought us to this place. Ahh that pesky word, trauma, but as we know it is the route of all things bad…