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That's right. Boom. Just kicked Santa in the testicles.

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Freelance Jigsaw Puzzle Artist (2018)

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The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle. I am at the whim of the cosmos.

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Wow, bitches really do be crazy.

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#arm grab

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Person A: Hit him in his fat, rosy cheeks.

Person B: Oh, that felt wrong.

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Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch.

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Well, I suppose it would be nice to show them I'm more than just a hot, dumb piece of ass.

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Hello, friends. Who here would like to see a presentation of crime statistics as a function of demographics and time? [silence] Who wants to see a picture of a dead body? [cheering]

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You hear that? It’s the sound of Christmas.

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Person A: Frisk the skinny one.

Person B: I've gone 42 years without a lump of coal. I'm not gonna start now.

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Happy B99 Thanksgiving!

Jake: Wow, mom, what a delightful dinner! I mean these have to be the most joyous jellybeans I've ever seen!

Mrs. Peralta: Oh thanks, honey. They're premade from a can!

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Person A: All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Person B will fake a medical emergency.

Person B: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.

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Person A: Serena here just bit off a doctor’s nose

Person B: It was delicious

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SUBMISSIONS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!! Rewatching an episode and found something funny? SUBMIT IT HERE!! You do not need to provide the episode all the time, we’ll try to find it ourselves! Thank you for following this blog, we love you!!

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All men are at least 30% attracted to me.