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backstreet-boo · 7 years ago

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“”“unpopular opinions”“” or whatever, I hate discourse but here we go

been looking at some of The Discourse (mistake no.1) concerning deku and kacchan’s relationship and also todoroki’s mom (but i’ll save that for a different post) and, well,,,,, i have some opinions of my own that are just opinions. based on my perception of what has happened in the series so far.

so. concerning deku and kacchan– some ppl have been considering that it’d be best and more likely that deku and kacchan end their relationship altogether. and I definitely agree to an extent. everything bakugo has done to torment, ridicule, humiliate, and hurt deku is absolutely inexcusable, and i absolutely would support an end to their relationship– if deku grows to be a person who can let go of kacchan.

bc let’s be real here (i mean like in a canon sense, not a /real/ sense bc it’s fiction), y'all really think deku is capable of leaving that angry boy alone? our deku? our overly compassionate, self-sacrificing, meddling-where-he-shouldn’t, above-and-beyond-plus-ultra-type-of-selfless little hero boy deku?

it’s just not realistic, hon. here’s why:

the reason deku is the protagonist of the story is because he emulates what true heroism is all about. he’s always putting others before himself in a very competitive environment where everyone around him is striving to put themselves first– in the no.1 hero title, that is. of course he also wants to be the best hero, but that will always be secondary to his self-appointed responsibility to protect and care for those around him and filling all might’s shoes (someone who also emulates what true heroism is all about). but compassion isn’t a result of his natural heroism, it’s heroism that comes as a result of his natural compassion. and you find, time and time again, that this his most outstanding quality, something that really separates him from his classmates. it’s highly unlikely that he’ll grow out of this trait.

deku’s other most outstanding quality is his analytical prowess, i.e. his ability to be extremely understanding and his willingness to understand what he doesn’t. he doesn’t just demonstrate this by nerding out over people’s quirks, he’s one of the few heroes to actually listen to villain’s motives and intentions and assesses them for himself. he’s that hero who’s like ‘i get where you’re coming from but your actions and your intentions don’t align, so even though your motives are valid, your execution of those motives is inexcusable.’ he’s not the type to be like ‘you did bad things so you’re bad by nature.’ he doesn’t see things in black and white like some of you on this hellsite do. and to assume that deku would view kacchan, of all people, in such a black and white manner shows a kinda lousy understanding of his character.

these traits make him a good hero but definitely not a perfect one. the setbacks to these traits are that they cause deku to be really hard on himself, they cause him to have blind faith in a fundamentally flawed pro hero system, they cause him to push himself so far beyond what he’s capable of that it breaks his body almost beyond repair (i.e. the Dark Side of “go beyond, plus ultra”), and most of all they cause him to have outlandishly disproportionate disappointment in his own shortcomings and weaknesses (as we saw in the most recent episodes of season 2). I dont think deku’s growth will include growing out of compassion and understanding, because those are things that are vital to his identity. I think a big part of deku’s growth is gonna be refining that compassion and understanding into learning how to be more forgiving with himself.

and that’s the buzzword of this post: forgiveness. another buzzword: reconciliation. and i wanted to bring this up because there are a lot of young ppl in the bnha fan base in general that don’t know what forgiveness actually entails. forgiveness is NOT saying that something bad someone did to you was okay or excusable. forgiveness is letting go of the pain and anger and grief of something bad that someone did to you. it doesn’t require reconciliation between you and the person that hurt you. it only requires reconciliation between you and your control over your emotions.

a lot of you who are against any kind of reconciliation between deku and kacchan (and it’s totally valid if you are) often use your own personal examples of having suffered abuse to further your point on why deku shouldn’t forgive kacchan, so I will as well.

my parents both came from abusive backgrounds and my dad has suffered with post-traumatic stress (he was in the military) and my mom has with bpd. i have never viewed my parents’ mental conditions as an excuse for them to harm me physically and emotionally and to manipulate me because they aren’t excuses. when I finally moved out last year, I was an absolute wreck of a person. I had so many anxiety dreams and nightmares of being back in my parents’ house. I would get so angry whenever I thought about my dad and I would get so anxious whenever I thought about my mom and it led me to very unhealthy coping strategies, more depression, and self-destructive behavior. I had blocked my parents out of my life completely for nearly a year. in that time i absolutely felt way better and my overall mental health improved just by being away from them. but whenever I even thought of them, the anger and pain and sadness would find its way back into my life and the thing is– when I was living with my parents, I was angry, sad, and in pain so often that I didn’t realize how much I hated feeling angry, sad, and in pain until I was away from them. And so whenever I’d think about my parents and these feelings would arise, I would try to stifle them. But I could only do that for so long until I learned that I just had to let go of those feelings. it was so hard because all I could associate with my parents were feelings of utmost negativity and I couldn’t just not think about my parents when everything that caused me to move out and start a new life was a result of them and their actions. I couldn’t, like, /live/ yall. and being angry and sad is just so exhausting that I had to stop or I was never going to stop being a victim and I was never going to start moving on. I come from a religious background where I was taught that forgiveness is not only a commandment but also a divine moral attribute that, through free will, you can choose to embody and implement. so not only did i feel like it was my responsibility to be forgiving, I also desperately wanted to be forgiving. I wanted to let go of all the pain and anger that had festered in me pretty much my whole life. so, through gritted teeth, I gave my parents the opportunity to apologize to me. And they did. And to my surprise, they were finally getting help for their mental illnesses. Me being away from them benefitted all of us, tbh. Every fiber of my being wanted to resist their apologies, to stay comfortable in the familiarity of my pain and stay puffed up in my pride and shame as someone who went through something as difficult as abuse. even now, im not that close with my parents but I’ve managed to let go of the anger and have even been able to be happy that they’re getting the help they always needed. forgiveness doesn’t wipe your whole slate clean like nothing ever happened, it just gives you the emotional space to move on and fill that space with positivity.

/obviously i cant speak for every victim of abuse. i think i was very fortunate to have that little voice in my head that reassured me that it was never really my fault, that I didnt deserve to be treated the way I was. but there are others who are manipulated into believing that their abuse is their fault and that they brought it on themselves which 1000000% not true but makes it unimaginably more difficult to let go of the negative feelings, inner turmoil, and pain. I think we can all agree that, as victims of abuse, our best course of action is to grow into who we want to be bc that’s kinda the best “revenge” you can have against the person who went out of their way to take that away from you. and I think we can also agree that being angry to the point of self-destructive behavior is objectively not good. again, I want to make it absolutely clear that forgiveness does not require you to reconcile with your abuser, it’s primarily meant for you to regain control over your emotions and not letting your abusers have the power to make you feel what you don’t want to feel. Take Zuko from ATLA for example. He was taught to let lightning (aka all the bs his abusive father and sister and neglegent mother put him through) to pass through him, not giving it the power to hurt him or anyone else. that’s what forgiveness is./

as past or present victims of abuse, it’s really easy to project on a character like deku. but if we’re going to project on him, it wouldn’t be bad to consider being a bit more like him.

so with that in mind, do I think deku is going to forgive kacchan? honestly, i think he already has. I am not yet the kind of person that can forgive without being apologized to (I’m working on it) but I’ve met people who genuinely are and i think deku is/could be that kind of person, with his level of compassion and understanding. especially when it comes to other people. like, he’s so not one to hold onto any kind of anger against someone, with perhaps the exception of people who intend to harm those he cares about. like, kouta was directly hateful towards deku from the start and deku never once held an ounce of anger against the kid, instead he listened to and understood why kouta hated heroes so much and deku didn’t let himself be hurt by it. and that’s not the mark of a person who just forgives, it’s the mark of a /forgiving person/, someone who has cultivated compassion and understanding to a point of superb emotional maturity. so not only is deku forgiving with kouta, but he’s also quite forgiving with kacchan, often letting kacchan’s anger and ridicule pass through him (mostly after they get into UA and go through some stuff). and hes forgiving for SOME reason that I honestly don’t fully understand.

I think it was after that first class with all might that deku had truly started to be forgiving with kacchan. when he told kacchan that he was resolving to be the best hero like all might and kacchan was crying. here, we had deku basically saying “im gonna be a hero and im gonna make it to the top and you can’t stop me kacchan” and that alone holds a lot of forgiveness, in terms of resolving to move on with his life. the point of contention here is that, at that moment in time, kacchan also wants to make it to the top. and kacchan is not an understanding and compassionate person. when he thinks about being the no.1 hero, he’s only thinking of himself and he couldn’t care less if deku fell into a hole and died. but I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me that deku doesn’t want all of his classmates, even kacchan, to do their absolute best and achieve the absolute best. LOOK ME IN THE EYE and tell me deku doesn’t support the success of his classmates, including kacchan. of course he doesn’t want kacchan to keep berating him. but above that, he– for SOME reason– wants kacchan to be happy. and that implies that deku understands something about kacchan that no one else, perhaps even the audience, does. he, somehow, on a deeper level understands why kacchan is the way he is. which is kinda beyond me lol but it does bare some semblance to my situation with my parents. obviously, I never want them to hurt me again. but, through the process of forgivness, ive come to want them to get better and be happy themselves so they don’t hurt each other or anyone else. which i can only assume is what deku must want for kacchan. okay. I guess I get it now. I just don’t think I fully understand kacchan’s /reason./ his type of behavior probably stems from a troubled background as well? so, yeah, I think deku probably has more of the details on that than the audience does.

deku’s anger, pain, and even shame are almost always reserved for himself. he became so ashamed of himself when he thought he wasn’t going to be able to save kouta. He became so ashamed of himself when he couldn’t save kacchan from the league. I think his growth will be directed towards learning to not be so hard on himself. like, as he comes face to face with the realities of becoming a hero– that hes not always going to win, that hes not always going to be able save everyone– he’ll learn that it’s not healthy or productive to blame himself every time things don’t go the way he wants them to. I hope he can learn to accept that stuff just happens even when he’s done the best he can but I hope that that doesn’t numb his compassionate spirit.

then we have the slow and steady growth of kacchan himself. we first see him as this arrogant, selfish brat with a bad attitude and a penchant for violence. unlike deku, he absolutely sees things in black and white at first. if something isn’t good, it’s bad. if something isn’t earned, it’s worthless. if someone wants to be a hero, theyre his rival and threat to his cause. hes very much the product of the type of world bnha is set in. in kacchan’s head, things aren’t just things and people aren’t just people– everything and everyone comes with an agenda and I think that he thinks the whole world is against him especially when deku gets into UA. (which probably not coincidentally mirrors how deku thought the world was against him when he turned out to be quirkless). when he got into the top hero course in the country, I’m sure he thought he had a clear path to victory. but when he’s faced with his shortcomings and learns that being a hero requires learning, that all kinda just changes. when he gets kidnapped by the league, that all kinda just changes even more. He can see that he made himself into the kind of person that villains want on their side. (i dont think it’s unimportant to note that the league came after him after seeing him in the sports festival, the same sports festival that shinsou competed in where it was explicitly stated that ppl thought shinsou would make a good villain and yet the league chose bakugo instead, wow, spoopy). And I think that put a lot of things in perspective for him and finally opened up some room in that big arrogant noggin for some introspection on who he wants to be. And I think it absolutely opens allows him to understand the gray areas between heroism and villainy and that, tbh, the most good often lies in those gray areas. I mean, deku breaks hero rules which is seen as bad but by breaking those rules, allows him to do more good than what any of his law abiding classmates have exhibited so far.

so I think kacchan’s growth will come as a result of mixing the black and white views he’s always held. I think he’ll definitely be helped by kirishima since his Manliness Morals fall into those gray areas and kacchan respects him. and, best case scenario, he’ll come to learn that no good ever came from everything he’s done to deku and just leave him alone.

the Absolute Best Case Scenario for any kind of toxic relationship is that both parties grow and change and cultivate happiness for themselves individually and perhaps even become casual friends *but I still see that as jumping the gun lol). In kacchan’s case, this means a sincere apology, not only discontinuing his current treatment of deku but also treating him well (like with courtesy and respect and stuff), and also learning to care about other people. in deku’s case it’s gaining an understanding of what he can and can’t handle, being able to set boundaries in his life, and holding himself in the regard he deserves.

honorable mention- @tharroswrites’s fic Two Black Dots, in which she tackles kacchan and deku’s reconciliation in a very in-character way (as, like, a subplot to kacchako tho, so if that’s not what ur into that’s chill lol)

tldr; i absolutely understand where people are coming from when they say they want deku and kacchan to separate from each other’s lives bc kacchan is a bully and his behavior is inexcusable. it’s not really an in-character outcome considering their current trajectory. they both deserve closure, deku from kacchan’s abuse and kacchan from his (speculated) troubled past and/or his inner turmoil. we deserve the story of a boy who becomes everything he’s always wanted to be despite the odds and we deserve the story of a boy who learns to let go of his pain and anger. deku and kacchan are on very similar journeys that i dont think is specifically meant to be a commentary on toxic relationships, but rather the individual growth of these two polarized characters towards the same goal. but also, these are all just my opinions.

#look at that sweet sweet articulation

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backstreet-boo · 7 years ago

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"""unpopular opinions""" or whatever, I hate discourse but here we go

been looking at some of The Discourse (mistake no.1) concerning deku and kacchan's relationship and also todoroki's mom (but i'll save that for a different post) and, well,,,,, i have some opinions of my own that are just opinions. based on my perception of what has happened in the series so far.

so. concerning deku and kacchan-- some ppl have been considering that it'd be best and more likely that deku and kacchan end their relationship altogether. and I definitely agree to an extent. everything bakugo has done to torment, ridicule, humiliate, and hurt deku is absolutely inexcusable, and i absolutely would support an end to their relationship-- if deku grows to be a person who can let go of kacchan.

bc let's be real here (i mean like in a canon sense, not a /real/ sense bc it's fiction), y'all really think deku is capable of leaving that angry boy alone? our deku? our overly compassionate, self-sacrificing, meddling-where-he-shouldn't, above-and-beyond-plus-ultra-type-of-selfless little hero boy deku?

it's just not realistic, hon. here's why:

the reason deku is the protagonist of the story is because he emulates what true heroism is all about. he's always putting others before himself in a very competitive environment where everyone around him is striving to put themselves first-- in the no.1 hero title, that is. of course he also wants to be the best hero, but that will always be secondary to his self-appointed responsibility to protect and care for those around him and filling all might's shoes (someone who also emulates what true heroism is all about). but compassion isn't a result of his natural heroism, it's heroism that comes as a result of his natural compassion. and you find, time and time again, that this his most outstanding quality, something that really separates him from his classmates. it's highly unlikely that he'll grow out of this trait.

deku's other most outstanding quality is his analytical prowess, i.e. his ability to be extremely understanding and his willingness to understand what he doesn't. he doesn't just demonstrate this by nerding out over people's quirks, he's one of the few heroes to actually listen to villain's motives and intentions and assesses them for himself. he's that hero who's like 'i get where you're coming from but your actions and your intentions don't align, so even though your motives are valid, your execution of those motives is inexcusable.' he's not the type to be like 'you did bad things so you're bad by nature.' he doesn't see things in black and white like some of you on this hellsite do. and to assume that deku would view kacchan, of all people, in such a black and white manner shows a kinda lousy understanding of his character.

these traits make him a good hero but definitely not a perfect one. the setbacks to these traits are that they cause deku to be really hard on himself, they cause him to have blind faith in a fundamentally flawed pro hero system, they cause him to push himself so far beyond what he's capable of that it breaks his body almost beyond repair (i.e. the Dark Side of "go beyond, plus ultra"), and most of all they cause him to have outlandishly disproportionate disappointment in his own shortcomings and weaknesses (as we saw in the most recent episodes of season 2). I dont think deku's growth will include growing out of compassion and understanding, because those are things that are vital to his identity. I think a big part of deku's growth is gonna be refining that compassion and understanding into learning how to be more forgiving with himself.

and that's the buzzword of this post: forgiveness. another buzzword: reconciliation. and i wanted to bring this up because there are a lot of young ppl in the bnha fan base in general that don't know what forgiveness actually entails. forgiveness is NOT saying that something bad someone did to you was okay or excusable. forgiveness is letting go of the pain and anger and grief of something bad that someone did to you. it doesn't require reconciliation between you and the person that hurt you. it only requires reconciliation between you and your control over your emotions.

a lot of you who are against any kind of reconciliation between deku and kacchan (and it's totally valid if you are) often use your own personal examples of having suffered abuse to further your point on why deku shouldn't forgive kacchan, so I will as well.

my parents both came from abusive backgrounds and my dad has suffered with post-traumatic stress (he was in the military) and my mom has with bpd. i have never viewed my parents' mental conditions as an excuse for them to harm me physically and emotionally and to manipulate me because they aren't excuses. when I finally moved out last year, I was an absolute wreck of a person. I had so many anxiety dreams and nightmares of being back in my parents' house. I would get so angry whenever I thought about my dad and I would get so anxious whenever I thought about my mom and it led me to very unhealthy coping strategies, more depression, and self-destructive behavior. I had blocked my parents out of my life completely for nearly a year. in that time i absolutely felt way better and my overall mental health improved just by being away from them. but whenever I even thought of them, the anger and pain and sadness would find its way back into my life and the thing is-- when I was living with my parents, I was angry, sad, and in pain so often that I didn't realize how much I hated feeling angry, sad, and in pain until I was away from them. And so whenever I'd think about my parents and these feelings would arise, I would try to stifle them. But I could only do that for so long until I learned that I just had to let go of those feelings. it was so hard because all I could associate with my parents were feelings of utmost negativity and I couldn't just not think about my parents when everything that caused me to move out and start a new life was a result of them and their actions. I couldn't, like, /live/ yall. and being angry and sad is just so exhausting that I had to stop or I was never going to stop being a victim and I was never going to start moving on. I come from a religious background where I was taught that forgiveness is not only a commandment but also a divine moral attribute that, through free will, you can choose to embody and implement. so not only did i feel like it was my responsibility to be forgiving, I also desperately wanted to be forgiving. I wanted to let go of all the pain and anger that had festered in me pretty much my whole life. so, through gritted teeth, I gave my parents the opportunity to apologize to me. And they did. And to my surprise, they were finally getting help for their mental illnesses. Me being away from them benefitted all of us, tbh. Every fiber of my being wanted to resist their apologies, to stay comfortable in the familiarity of my pain and stay puffed up in my pride and shame as someone who went through something as difficult as abuse. even now, im not that close with my parents but I've managed to let go of the anger and have even been able to be happy that they're getting the help they always needed. forgiveness doesn't wipe your whole slate clean like nothing ever happened, it just gives you the emotional space to move on and fill that space with positivity.

/obviously i cant speak for every victim of abuse. i think i was very fortunate to have that little voice in my head that reassured me that it was never really my fault, that I didnt deserve to be treated the way I was. but there are others who are manipulated into believing that their abuse is their fault and that they brought it on themselves which 1000000% not true but makes it unimaginably more difficult to let go of the negative feelings, inner turmoil, and pain. I think we can all agree that, as victims of abuse, our best course of action is to grow into who we want to be bc that's kinda the best "revenge" you can have against the person who went out of their way to take that away from you. and I think we can also agree that being angry to the point of self-destructive behavior is objectively not good. again, I want to make it absolutely clear that forgiveness does not require you to reconcile with your abuser, it's primarily meant for you to regain control over your emotions and not letting your abusers have the power to make you feel what you don't want to feel. Take Zuko from ATLA for example. He was taught to let lightning (aka all the bs his abusive father and sister and neglegent mother put him through) to pass through him, not giving it the power to hurt him or anyone else. that's what forgiveness is./

as past or present victims of abuse, it's really easy to project on a character like deku. but if we're going to project on him, it wouldn't be bad to consider being a bit more like him.

so with that in mind, do I think deku is going to forgive kacchan? honestly, i think he already has. I am not yet the kind of person that can forgive without being apologized to (I'm working on it) but I've met people who genuinely are and i think deku is/could be that kind of person, with his level of compassion and understanding. especially when it comes to other people. like, he's so not one to hold onto any kind of anger against someone, with perhaps the exception of people who intend to harm those he cares about. like, kouta was directly hateful towards deku from the start and deku never once held an ounce of anger against the kid, instead he listened to and understood why kouta hated heroes so much and deku didn't let himself be hurt by it. and that's not the mark of a person who just forgives, it's the mark of a /forgiving person/, someone who has cultivated compassion and understanding to a point of superb emotional maturity. so not only is deku forgiving with kouta, but he's also quite forgiving with kacchan, often letting kacchan's anger and ridicule pass through him (mostly after they get into UA and go through some stuff). and hes forgiving for SOME reason that I honestly don't fully understand.

I think it was after that first class with all might that deku had truly started to be forgiving with kacchan. when he told kacchan that he was resolving to be the best hero like all might and kacchan was crying. here, we had deku basically saying "im gonna be a hero and im gonna make it to the top and you can't stop me kacchan" and that alone holds a lot of forgiveness, in terms of resolving to move on with his life. the point of contention here is that, at that moment in time, kacchan also wants to make it to the top. and kacchan is not an understanding and compassionate person. when he thinks about being the no.1 hero, he's only thinking of himself and he couldn't care less if deku fell into a hole and died. but I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me that deku doesn't want all of his classmates, even kacchan, to do their absolute best and achieve the absolute best. LOOK ME IN THE EYE and tell me deku doesn't support the success of his classmates, including kacchan. of course he doesn't want kacchan to keep berating him. but above that, he-- for SOME reason-- wants kacchan to be happy. and that implies that deku understands something about kacchan that no one else, perhaps even the audience, does. he, somehow, on a deeper level understands why kacchan is the way he is. which is kinda beyond me lol but it does bare some semblance to my situation with my parents. obviously, I never want them to hurt me again. but, through the process of forgivness, ive come to want them to get better and be happy themselves so they don't hurt each other or anyone else. which i can only assume is what deku must want for kacchan. okay. I guess I get it now. I just don't think I fully understand kacchan's /reason./ his type of behavior probably stems from a troubled background as well? so, yeah, I think deku probably has more of the details on that than the audience does.

deku's anger, pain, and even shame are almost always reserved for himself. he became so ashamed of himself when he thought he wasn't going to be able to save kouta. He became so ashamed of himself when he couldn't save kacchan from the league. I think his growth will be directed towards learning to not be so hard on himself. like, as he comes face to face with the realities of becoming a hero-- that hes not always going to win, that hes not always going to be able save everyone-- he'll learn that it's not healthy or productive to blame himself every time things don't go the way he wants them to. I hope he can learn to accept that stuff just happens even when he's done the best he can but I hope that that doesn't numb his compassionate spirit.

then we have the slow and steady growth of kacchan himself. we first see him as this arrogant, selfish brat with a bad attitude and a penchant for violence. unlike deku, he absolutely sees things in black and white at first. if something isn't good, it's bad. if something isn't earned, it's worthless. if someone wants to be a hero, theyre his rival and threat to his cause. hes very much the product of the type of world bnha is set in. in kacchan's head, things aren't just things and people aren't just people-- everything and everyone comes with an agenda and I think that he thinks the whole world is against him especially when deku gets into UA. (which probably not coincidentally mirrors how deku thought the world was against him when he turned out to be quirkless). when he got into the top hero course in the country, I'm sure he thought he had a clear path to victory. but when he's faced with his shortcomings and learns that being a hero requires learning, that all kinda just changes. when he gets kidnapped by the league, that all kinda just changes even more. He can see that he made himself into the kind of person that villains want on their side. (i dont think it's unimportant to note that the league came after him after seeing him in the sports festival, the same sports festival that shinsou competed in where it was explicitly stated that ppl thought shinsou would make a good villain and yet the league chose bakugo instead, wow, spoopy). And I think that put a lot of things in perspective for him and finally opened up some room in that big arrogant noggin for some introspection on who he wants to be. And I think it absolutely opens allows him to understand the gray areas between heroism and villainy and that, tbh, the most good often lies in those gray areas. I mean, deku breaks hero rules which is seen as bad but by breaking those rules, allows him to do more good than what any of his law abiding classmates have exhibited so far.

so I think kacchan's growth will come as a result of mixing the black and white views he's always held. I think he'll definitely be helped by kirishima since his Manliness Morals fall into those gray areas and kacchan respects him. and, best case scenario, he'll come to learn that no good ever came from everything he's done to deku and just leave him alone.

the Absolute Best Case Scenario for any kind of toxic relationship is that both parties grow and change and cultivate happiness for themselves individually and perhaps even become casual friends *but I still see that as jumping the gun lol). In kacchan's case, this means a sincere apology, not only discontinuing his current treatment of deku but also treating him well (like with courtesy and respect and stuff), and also learning to care about other people. in deku's case it's gaining an understanding of what he can and can't handle, being able to set boundaries in his life, and holding himself in the regard he deserves.

honorable mention- @tharroswrites's fic Two Black Dots, in which she tackles kacchan and deku's reconciliation in a very in-character way (as, like, a subplot to kacchako tho, so if that's not what ur into that's chill lol)

tldr; i absolutely understand where people are coming from when they say they want deku and kacchan to separate from each other's lives bc kacchan is a bully and his behavior is inexcusable. it's not really an in-character outcome considering their current trajectory. they both deserve closure, deku from kacchan's abuse and kacchan from his (speculated) troubled past and/or his inner turmoil. we deserve the story of a boy who becomes everything he's always wanted to be despite the odds and we deserve the story of a boy who learns to let go of his pain and anger. deku and kacchan are on very similar journeys that i dont think is specifically meant to be a commentary on toxic relationships, but rather the individual growth of these two polarized characters towards the same goal. but also, these are all just my opinions.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #long post #bnha discourse #bnha headcanons #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #deku #kacchan #i really dont want to tag this as bakudeku bc i dont ship it but i support their reconciliation #abuse tw

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backstreet-boo · 7 years ago

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kacchako love language headcanons cont.

/this one is going to be long, just a heads up/

guess whos back and avoiding Words Of Affirmation bc kacchako dialogue is so particular and unique that i cant even begin to put it into words and Words Of Affirmation is literally one of my love languages

and there are so many great fic writers who frickin nAIL their dialogue, bless

anyway, my other love language is

GIVING/RECEIVING GIFTS

while physical touch comes most naturally to kacchako, I imagine this one comes the least naturally to them

even though bakugo and uraraka come from different upbringings they both subscribe to the school of thought that You Should Not Accept Free Handouts

If You Want Something, You've Got To Earn It

they're both very accustomed to working hard to achieve their goals

when uraraka is offered a gift, she doesn't accept if she genuinely believes she doesn't deserve it or need it

when bakugo is offered a gift, he doesn't accept because if he didn't work for it then it doesn't have any value to him

it's a subtle difference- one stems from humility and one stems from pride

so uraraka typically doesn't want bakugo spending money on her and he understands why pretty clearly and he's fine with it

tbh when they've got physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time as love languages-- acts of service and receiving gifts kinda just become afterthoughts.

but in any relationship, it's important to gain fluency in every love language, if possible

and it requires some Discomfort and Vulnerability lol

a situation and time in their relationship in which they'd start to feel a little more comfortable about the idea of giving each other presents would probably be

their 500th day anniversary

and the mere idea of getting gifts for each other would probably come about by probably ashido asking uraraka what she's getting for the Bae

and uraraka's like,,,,, what

and ashido is like,, hon'

and kirishima says to bakugo 'so what r u getting uraraka for ur 500th day'

and bakugo is like,,, why tf do i need to get her anything

and /mini rant/ the thing about Receiving Gifts is that even though people think it's materialistic, it's actually all about sentiment

and encasing that sentiment in something tangible, a Something To Remember Me By, if you will

A Symbol of Love

and it like doesnt even matter what it is- you could give me ur used mcdonalds napkin and if it reminds us of that time we fell in love at a mcdonalds, I'll friggin keep it /hyperbole/

and the great thing is that you don't have to Buy A Gift when you can make one, which is ALL the more sentimental

and that's exactly what bakugo intends to do

a gift for uraraka won't mean anything to either of them if he doesn't put forth the effort

and the challenge for him is thinking of what he could possibly make that 1) shows that he worked hard for her bc he lOVES her and that 2) she'll like.

for uraraka,,, she just wants to give bakugo something meaningful

growing up, she didn't have a lot. but things she did have, she cherished very deeply

so what better gift to give the boy she loves than something from her childhood that she holds extremely close to her heart

and so as that blessed 500th day arrives

bakugo builds uraraka an orrery.

just a uhhhh,,,, a frickin fully functional oRRERY with, like, gears and metal and handblown glass, the whole 9 yards, he learned do all that crap

he even low key asked her parents for tips on designing and constructing it djdksksn

and, like, those hands that are known for blowing things apart Made That

for her

and uraraka's just blown away by the level of craftsmanship,,, the dedication,,, her name engraved on the base of it,, he Did That

fOR HER

and she's like, how did u come up with the idea to make this

and he's like, i cAN BE CREATIVE and ya know symbolism

the subject of that symbolism being that what he feels for her is the axis he rotated on to even attempt to make the gift. that she helped him learn how to LEARN things, like love and trust and loyalty. that without her influence he would've struggled to ground and refine himself into a true hero. that she made him feel weightless and free from all the turmoil he had built up inside of him. that he didn't have to go it alone. that what he had with her is proof that he could create something beautiful as much as he could destroy with his quirk and, uh, "unsavory" personality.

and when uraraka gives her gift she's like,,,, don't laugh oKAY

and she's having second thoughts especially after bakugo's gift to her

and she's thinking there's no way her gift can compare

before she flakes out, she hands him a tiny, worn velvet box that took her a whole weekend @ home to find in a shoebox buried in her closet

anyway bakugo opens it and he's like ????? at a pair of tiny little silver hoop earrings.

and before he can say a thing, uraraka launches into this frantic speech about how they were the first and only pair of earrings she bought for herself after bEGGING her parents to let her get her ears pierced,,, she wore them all throughout middle school and genuinely loved them, bc it's nice to have something nice no matter what you're financial situation is,,, when she got into ua, she knew she had to work hard to become a hero and make sure her parents could live comfortably, so she decided to keep the earrings at home as a reminder that she was @ ua for her family and for her to learn how to save people and that there was no time for her to spend on herself

BUT since she and bakugo got to together, she learned that just because she was training to be a hero, that didn't mean she had to deprive herself of love and care

The earrings were a symbol of uraraka putting herself first, so who better to give them to than the boy who helped her to know that it was okay for her to put herself first, the boy she stubbornly kept denying her feelings for because she thought it was selfish, the boy who turned out to not be a distraction but someone who helped her become the strong hero she wanted to be in the first place

now that she had him, she didn't need the earrings. but she wanted him to have them so that way he knows how much he means to her

bakugo closes the box and leaves

uraraka: where are you going???

bakugo: im gonna go get my eARS PIERCED DUMMY

#kacchako #bnha #bakugou x uraraka #uraraka ochako #katsuki bakugou #kacchako headcanons

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backstreet-boo · 7 years ago

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kacchako love language headcanons bc i got bored at work

I only did one language but I might do more bc my boredom is endless and I said I'd revive my writing blog

PHYSICAL TOUCH

this!!! I imagine is the most meaningful love language to them, the most natural,

because Trust

like, they have faith in each other to not use their quirks when touching

plenty of ppl would be scared to be anywhere near bakugo's hands

but then there's uraraka intertwining her fingers with bakugo's, letting him place the warmth of his palms against her cheeks, i bet they touch each other's necks a lot...

and it takes a while for everyone's breaths not to catch whenever bakugo reaches for uraraka

like one time, he got so angry he was gonna blast a building apart but then uraraka just placed one of her hands against his and he pulled back so fast he nearly dislocated his frickin shoulder

if anything, it's uraraka that sends him up into the air accidentally or as a joke lol

and in typical bakugo fashion he yells about it

but low key doesn't mind

he knows she wouldn't try to hurt him

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm....

TOUCHING EACH OTHER'S SCARS

they tend to do it absentmindedly

bakugo develops a habit of rubbing his thumbs against the scars on uraraka's hands and they inspire him to push himself harder,,, and be better for her and for himself,,

uraraka will do the same for the scars on bakugo's arms when they're having tender, emotionally vulnerable moments as reminder that he can always Be Real with her

mmmmmmmmm.... KISSING EACH OTHER'S SCARS

uraraka sitting in bakugo's lap

bakugo lazily slinging an arm around uraraka's shoulders

hands tangled in each other's hair

bakugo does this thing where, at any given moment, if he's standing next to uraraka he'll just fall against her. full weight, like a trust fall

he calls it payback for the times she uses her quirk on him accidentally or as a joke

sometimes she sees it coming and sometimes she doesn't but it always ends with her cry-laughing and him smirking

bakuraka hugs are sACRED

they like,,, set aside times to hug

it can never just be a quick half-hug before one of them leaves for the supermarket or smth

it HAS to be this like 45+ minute-long emotionally intimate ordeal where they hold each other and silently lay all their fears and insecurities out for each other

hugging is their way of saying that they need each other. my hort.

bakugo's favorite place to kiss uraraka is her lips and his favorite place to be kissed is his neck

uraraka's favorite place to kiss bakugo is his jaw and her favorite place to be kissed is, a bit strangely, the heel of her palm

bakugo holding uraraka's hand against his chest 👌👌👌👌

bakugo nearly slamming his forehead against uraraka's and giving her one his pep talks about how strong she genuinely is

uraraka grabbing him by the collar or his jAW to do the same

quick shoulder rubs to psych each other up for an exercise or sparring

ballsy uraraka booping bakugo's nose

bakugo's demise: uraraka lightly running a finger across on of his collarbones rip

bakugo yawns and uraraka just puts her frickin hand in his mOUTH ASVDJAKSFB

bakugo is that one evil mf who'll wait for uraraka to stretch her arms above her head and then go in for The Tickles

uraraka pulling bakugo back onto the couch by his belt buckle

bakugo offering uraraka an arm to balance herself while she pulls on her shoes

I'm cry,,,

#my touch starved queer existence is shaking #kacchako #kacchaco #katsuki bakugou #uraraka ochako #bakugou x uraraka

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backstreet-boo · 8 years ago

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backstreet-boo’s masterlist

the worst bangtan would-you-rather ever lol

more works to come

updated: 30 October 2017

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backstreet-boo · 8 years ago

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the worst bangtan would-you-rather ever lol

I find a lot of these really easy so I thought I'd make my own

this is gonna be kinda long so, like... go finish your homework.... go get a snack... go find a sense of purpose....

alright

reblog with your answers or make your own post and tag me!! you can tag other ppl to do it too if you want!

here we go. would you rather:

get to go any and every bts concert you want to go to for absolutely free (including all travel and tourism expenses) but you never EVER get to do hi-touch/fan engagement/meet&greet

spend 1 full 168 hour week-long vacation with bts but then never see them in person or communicate with them ever again after the end of the week. a one-week-wonder, if you will

would you rather:

have namjoon’s wardrobe

have taehyung’s wardrobe

would you rather:

be totally prepared to meet your bts bias (I'm talkin’ outfit, makeup, hair on POINT lookin’ like a bombshell with perfect skin) but the meeting does not go the way you want it to and he also doesn’t really notice how bOMB you look

run into your bias at a grocery store while you're in just your pjs and haven't showered in three days and buying seven bags of tortilla chips with no dip but you end up bonding with your bias over your evident state of depression

would you RAAAAATHER:

receive a really bad birthday gift from jimin and be honest with him about not liking it but he never looks at you the same way again because he really did a put a lot of thought into the gift and you two eventually drift apart

receive a really bad birthday gift from jungkook, not tell him, and suffer in silence for an extensive period of time oNLY for him to figure out what you’re hiding and casually asking about the gift often and pointing out how aMAZING it is just to punish your conscience even further :)

scenario- you are pregnant and you are going into labor on the floor in the middle of your BIO 3550 class. would you rather:

have the outwardly squeamish hoseok be your midwife, ends with him fainting

have the inwardly squeamish yoongi be your midwife, ends with him vomiting

angst vs. fluff! would you rather:

run out into the rain after overhearing jin on the phone with his very attractive colleague who he told you not to worry about. he runs out after you, begging you to listen to him as he explains that this is a big misunderstanding. you get it, but you’re distraught that loving jin is so complicated. his voice breaks as he tells you how he can’t even begin to imagine his life without you

get ready for bed, brushing your teeth with jin by your side following suit. neither of you say anything but he looks at you in the bathroom mirror and just takes in your natural appearance. you catch his gaze in the mirror as well and smile, your nose crinkling with delight. he decides in that moment that there’s no one else in he whole world he’d rather be with and begins mentally planning the proposal of a lifetime

getting back to my roots, here. would you rather:

be sat in a denny’s at 3am, see bts a few booths over, but you think you’re on drug trip so you don’t approach them at all

be sat in a denny’s at 3am, check twitter and see that bts had been in that same denny’s earlier and you missed them by a hair

would you rather:

be on a roller derby team with the nerdy and gentle hyung line (derby is a full contact sport, very aggressive, so this scenario entails training your gentle nerds to KICK BUTT ON THE TRACK)

be on a mathletes team with the sporty and artsy maknae line (you ended up with these dorks by accident, here’s the start of a long series of tutoring sessions)

time to get lit. and by that, I mean literature! would you rather:

have yoongi be your Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) in the ultimate enemies-to-lovers story line

have taehyung be your Westley (The Princess Bride) in the ultimate you-both-have-awful-timing-but-it-works-out-in-the-end story line

cringey white popstars trying to stay relevant edition! would you rather:

bts collab with taylor swift

bts collab with katy perry

would you rather:

have your bias catch you crying on the kitchen floor over a bag of stale potato chips

have your bias find your fur suit

Cards Against Humanity! The card is- “Harry Potter and _____” would you rather:

pick namjoon’s card- “the clear an present danger of being distracted by the thought of living a life without touch starvation.”

pick jimin’s card- “the time I left the zoo disappointed because there were no dragons”

anime time lol. would you rather:

be jungkook’s senpai who he’s desperately trying to get to notice him and see him as a man not just some kid

be a tsundere for jin, struggling to show your affection and swallow your pride, often having intense and steamy emotional outbursts with him

would you rather:

hoseok personally send you a collection of artisanal almond butters

hoseok release hixtape already pLEASE

finally, would you rather:

I make more of these for bts and other groups

break into my apartment and hit me over the head with a chair, killing me instantly

okay, cool, hope you enjoyed that, hope to either be dead or making more of these in the future. later /evaporates/

#bts #bangtan #jin #suga #j hope #rap monster #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts scenarios #bts would you rather #bangtan scenarios

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