badteavee

[badteavee]

is the fandom for this musical even alive

[badteavee]

The golden ticket winner chaperones in Black Friday ( Starkid )

( Tw / Cw : death , fighting )

Oleg Salt :

- First person in line

- Actually staked out for like a week and a half and made sure he couldn’t be removed

- Wasn’t even sure if Veruca wanted a Wiggly but better safe than sorry

- Turned down every bribe offered , he had all the money he needed , why take more ?

- Probably ripped up a few checks from Linda Monroe

- Fought as hard as possible when chaos broke out , with plenty of bodyguard help

- Planned on sparing the other chaperones but the moment it became a free for all , everyone was an obstacle

- Actually did make it out with a Wiggly but also had multiple injuries

Ethel Teavee :

- Second person in line , got to the mall two hours after Oleg did

- Left Mike in the care of Lisa

- Originally came to get Mike a new 3rd backup phone but the second she saw the Wiggly posters , she knew she needed to get it

- Has experience with Walmart Black Fridays so she came prepared

- Mace , spiked nunchucks , police grade pepper spray , switchblade etc.

- She came for blood

- Told off anyone who tried to bribe her

- Only planned on sparing Oleg

- Still managed to headbutt and hit him at least five times

- Did kill at least three people

- Died trying to mother Sherman into putting down a doll

Mrs. Gloop :

- Wasn’t used to American Black Fridays and showed up the night before

- Basically at the back of the line

- Also wasn’t originally here for a Wiggly but got caught up in the adrenaline from everyone else

- Wasn’t planning to fight anyone

- Ended up almost chopping someone’s hand off with her meat cleaver

- Died to a blood thirsty Gary Goldstein

Eugene Beauregard :

- Staked out for five days

- Not front front of the line but definitely nowhere near the back

- THE briber

- Tried to bribe absolutely everyone in front of him

- It only got him three people closer to the front

- Got many lectures from Becky Barnes

- Live streamed everything

- Got so many followers and subscribers from this

- Only wanted a Wiggly to boost Violet’s engagement on her socials

- Surprisingly lasted pretty long despite only having one hand to fight with

- Screenshots of the live were made into dumb memes

- Died because he stopped fighting to do an ad read

Grandpa Joe :

- Knew Charlie did not want that thing

- Didn’t even try to go

- Wouldn’t have survived anyway

[badteavee]

Golden Ticket Winner thanksgiving except all silverware has to be plastic and plates paper because somebody ( mike ) has violent urges and will try to injure somebody

[badteavee]

Put You In Your Place

Tws / Cws : There’s play fighting but definitely with murderous intent

Genre : Fluff (?)

Word count : 1,043

Parings : Veruca Salt + Mike Teavee , Oleg Salt + Ethel Teavee

Note : This wasn’t supposed to be pjo oriented but the autism took over

Veruca and Mike hated when their parents made them have playdates , Veruca despised having to be in Mike’s too-small-for-her house and Mike despised Veruca existing near him. Yet their parents decided to be good friends , despite several protests , complaints and failed sabotages , which meant they wanted wine and movie nights. It also meant the children had to be near each other.

Usually , Mike would hide away in his room playing Kill All People while Veruca locked themself in the guest room and called her friends back in Russia , but all doors aside from a bathroom were locked upstairs. Mike would’ve just broken his door open but he didn’t want to lose his IPad and PC privileges. Which led them to be stuck outside in the backyard , pouting and sitting in old plastic chairs on opposite ends of the patio.

It was a surprisingly nice evening , only warm with a small amount of wind , not that either were appreciating it. Mike was busy tapping away on one of his burner phones , aggressively subtweeting every small movement Veruca made , like he did every time the ballerina was in his vicinity. Veruca , on the other hand , had clocked out , mentally going over the choreography for her next performance. Laughter could be heard from inside , mainly from Oleg , his laugh could and has shaken the house. Both kids automatically rolled their eyes , how dare they get along when their darling children hate each other.

After a while of silence from the two , Mike groaned in frustration , dropping his now dead phone onto his lap and dramatically threw himself back in the chair. What was he supposed to do now ? He didn’t want peace and quiet or to go inside and listen to Oleg be best friends with his mother and he definitely wasn’t going to sit and stare at Lola Bunny over there. He sighed , looking around the yard for <i>anything</i> entertaining. Jumprope was too girly , banned from frisbee for the year , wall ball gives him a headache , trampoline was boring.. oh. His old toy armory was out here.

He shoved his phone in his pocket and pushed himself off the chair , walking over to the toys. He cringed the second he looked at them , cheap toy swords and that pop out shield from Percy Jackson that he begged his mom for a few years ago. Of course he’d reinforced them since there was no way they would’ve survived him otherwise. He hated remembering that interest , it was embarrassing how into it he was. He didn’t even like Percy , he liked Luke , but they didn’t sell things for him so he was stuck with the water boy’s things.

“Is that a riptide ?”

Mike flinched , almost swinging the toy as he turned to face that bad nut , how do they always manage to sneak up on him ? And.. did her outfit change ? Where does she get the time.

“… Yeah.”

Veruca’s eyes had this light to them , it usually meant she wanted something , or liked something , there was no difference with them. He hated that look. He glanced between the sword and them , deciding that he did actually want to swing the sword at her , it would be better than looking at that stupid face. It was a low swing so instead of letting it hit her , they moved so she could swing her foot down onto the sword , sending it to the ground and basically making Mike kneel. Where had Mike seen that before ?

Oh god. They watched that damn musical too.

While Mike took his seconds of shock , Veruca grabbed a nearby stick and the other sword , very glad she picked out a red outfit for today. The shorter scoffed himself out of the shock , snatching the shield , attaching it to his arm as he stood up.

“Of course you like Clarisse.” He sneered.

“You like Percy.”

“Do not ! They don’t sell things for Luke , idiot.”

The ballerina cocked her head , that did make sense. He’s too much of an angsty freak to like someone normal. This. No , this definitely pissed her off for whatever reason they’ll give later , they needed to hit this guy. She swung their weapons like how the choreographer had taught her to , it looked ridiculous to outsiders but they felt cool , that’s what mattered.

She stuck to the choreography taught while he reacted off of instinct and muscle memory , albeit awful muscle memory , of which Veruca mocked him for. The only move Mike could fully remember was blocking while half spinning around her , of which he executed well for a shut in. The taller was a bit impressed , they only went harder , cycling through every motion she was taught to do after that move. Mike , of course , tried to cheat his way into winning , Veruca shut those down almost immediately.

Oleg joined Ethel’s side at the sliding backdoor , self pouring another glass of wine as they watched their kids. He grinned as he watched his daughter play fight , so thankful that this’ll take most of her energy for the rest of the night. He lightly elbowed his best friend.

“Who do you think will win ?”

“.. I love Mikey but he’s not winning.”

Oleg chuckled , sipping his wine. “My Veruscha wouldn’t let him.”

“At least they’ll be quiet tonight.”

“If Mike lives to see tonight.”

She looked at him with a half raised eyebrow , he pointed outside before taking another sip. She looked back out to see Mike on the ground with Veruca pointing their sword at his throat.

“Shit-“ She pulled the sliding door open as fast as she could. “Kids , pie !”

Both children immediately dropped their weapons , racing to the door , shoving each other in the attempt to get there first. Ethel took out and set two smaller pies with plastic forks onto the kitchen island , chairs set up so they could see the movie on the living room tv. The two parents settled back on the couch as their kids fought over seats and who got which pie. They were both the same.

Oleg glanced back at the two , he didn’t stop them , there was no way to without breaking some kind of law. Sigh. Another , longer sip of wine. They’re going to hate finding out they’re staying the night.

[badteavee]

Different Wonkas if they were asked if they were cis

Wilder ! Wonka :

- Wouldn’t actually answer the question , ESPECIALLY if he’s being asked by one of the golden ticket winners or their parents

- Definitely wouldn’t answer in english

- “Il n'y a pas d'identité de genre derrière les expressions de genre... l'identité est constituée de manière performative par les "expressions" mêmes qui sont censées être ses résultats.”

( There is no gender identity behind gender expressions... identity is performatively constituted by the very "expressions" that are supposed to be its results. )

- He actually doesn’t care about his gender identity but he doesn’t fully subscribe to the idea of being cis

Depp ! Wonka :

- Looks at the asker like they just asked something in complete gibberish

- “Well , aren’t you nosy !”

- Smiles and keeps walking

- He’s not cis in the slightest , it’s just unclear in what way

Borle ! Wonka :

- Disgusted that someone would even ask

- Would say he’s “sis”

- Corrects the pronunciation of anyone who says he’s cis

- He’s very confusing about it and it may or may not be on purpose

- Also says he’s “ctraight”

[badteavee]

Post bus accident Veruca who only knows how to show affection how their father did vs post squip Mike who’s very confused on why he got a pride flag launched at him

[badteavee]

The gtws , who all wanted to seem mature , stopped believing in Santa at an early age and bully charlie for still believing , only to get floored when he actually visits the factory

[badteavee]

It’s Halloween

Tws / Cws : N / A

Genre : Fluff ( ? )

Word count : 1,708

Parings : It’s supposed to be general but there’s some Veruca Salt + Mike Teavee and Charlie Bucket + Augustus Gloop

Note : Happy Halloween 🎃

The five kids sat in what was basically their common room , each in the places they sat the first time they were in the room , all adjusting and adding last minute details to their costumes. They were dressed as each other but none of them wanted to be wearing each other’s clothes normally since that’d make it look like they were friends , so they were either zombified or murder victims.

Veruca got stuck being Charlie , her costume of course being an unfittingly high quality version of Charlie’s usual outfit covered in fake blood and torn up around the stomach where grossly realistic plastic intestines hung out. They made sure that her makeup made her look dramatically pathetic and sad , only because they knew Charlie wouldn’t correct it.

Mike was sacked with Augustus , which he whined and complained about to his mother , who put the costume idea together in the first place so she wasn’t much help. He had little say in what he actually had to wear since he did ask for a fat suit and for once Ethel wouldn’t let him , so he had an ugly lemon yellow bowl cut wig from Amazon and one of Augustus’ old sweaters which he cut up. He made sure that he looked like a totally cool zombie in this stupid outfit , though he insisted on doing the makeup himself so his face was left bright teal and any gore was horribly smudged or just applied wrong. He wouldn’t let anyone fix it.

Violet got Veruca , she would’ve whined about if it didn’t mean she got to see her favorite makeup artist again. Her costume of course looked perfect , she even wore a blonde wig , despite Veruca’s critiques on every detail that only she would notice. Like a sequin being in the wrong place or slightly the wrong color. Violet ended up paying her makeup artist extra to add a fake slit neck and facial bruises , the ballerina stopped paying attention to her.

Augustus and Charlie helped each other with their costumes , Charlie being Violet and Augustus being Mike. They were using an aggressive amount of hairspray for Augustus , they might as well been gassing the room out. Nobody was too angry about it since the others basically inhale makeup powders and hairspray daily but they were still a little grumpy. Charlie didn’t exactly know how anatomy worked so his fake guts were definitely in the wrong places but no one cared enough to correct it.

Eventually all the kids either got bored of fixing their costumes or actually finished them up and one by one started to file out the door to go be forced into pictures by their parents. Mike was the only one to whine about it , he didn’t want proof of him being dressed as Augustus to exist anywhere and he knew those photos were being put up on her Facebook.

After an awkward and hatefilled group picture , they grabbed their unfortunately on theme backpacks and ran out of the side door that led to a low part of the gate the kids usually jump to run around the neighborhood. They all jumped it with varying degrees of success before locking onto the first house they saw and booked it over there. None of the adults volunteered to supervise them since the parents wanted to have a wine night and the Oompas would rather fight a Knid empty handed than run after the brats all night. Which meant the kids were going to be totally unsupervised. For three hours.

They all caused petty amounts of chaos in between raiding unattended candy bowls , stealing candy out of the hands of kids younger than them , paying parents for their childs candy bag , smashing pumpkins , laughing at kids fear. Whatever problems they could cause without getting in too much trouble. Everyone at least caused one problem , minor or not , except Charlie , who had to be talked out of only taking one piece of candy from bowls several times before he finally started to take handfuls.

The group was occasionally stopped by fans or parents of fans for pictures or autographs , their autographs were sloppy since nobody but Veruca knew how to write in cursive but it didn’t seem to matter for the fans , they were overjoyed either way. It took a lot to drag Violet away from taking pictures with fans , especially when some of them were dressed as her , but nobody was waiting fifteen minutes for her to shut up so they would have to grab her arms and pull her.

Once it was near sunset , they all decided on one last street to fully raid before lugging their way back to the factory. They took all the candy they could , even if their bags couldn’t hold anymore , they’d just grab the bowl and go to the next house. They stuffed candy in their pockets , hoods , socks , sleeves , water bottles , small extra bags , anything to hold more.

By the time they circled back to the start of the street , their phones were blown up by Mrs. Teavee worrying about the fact that Mike wasn’t answering her as if he ever does. Mike checked his phone and groaned , seeing all the missed calls and text messages , why was she so embarrassing. They were only a minute past when they’re supposed to go back anyway. He slowed down to be behind the group , begrudgingly calling her back , he couldn’t even get a ‘What ?’ in before she started talk-crying.

“Mikey ! Where are you ?!” Her words were slurring , she’s obviously already drunk. “Why haven’t you been answering—“

“Calm down , old lady ! We’re—“ She kept trying to interrupt him , blabbering incoherently “We’re on our way !”

“Hii , Ethel !” Mike jumped out of his skin , when did they get here ?!

“Don’t call my mom by her first name !”

“Mikey , is that Veruca ? Put me on speaker !”

It was too late by the time he went to actually do as told , Veruca had already snatched up the phone and booked it , which lead the group to also run by instinct. Even while running , she was using their horrible fake sweet voice to talk to Mrs. Teavee , assuring her that they’d be back very soon and faking being humble when Ethel thanked her. Mike of course was trying to run after her but running with six pounds of candy on your back is significantly difficult , he didn’t know how they managed to be so fast when she probably had more candy than most of them.

Veruca ran the group all the way back to and over the gate they jumped , finally stopping once they were through the side door enough for everyone else to run in.

“We’re back , bye Ethel !”

“Bye sweetheart !”

Mike snatched his phone back directly after she said that , too out of breath to pick a proper fight so he resorted to glaring and huffing. Veruca just smiled innocently , prancing back to the common room before the adrenaline wore off and the fatigue from the night caught up to them. The rest of the group was left to try to cling to theirs before half shuffling after the ballerina and collapsing in their usual spots. A random horror series played on the tv , giving off enough light for the overhead to not have to be on. Not that anyone would’ve turned it on anyway.

Veruca was already separating her candy when everyone else was just starting to unload their bags and various holding spots. There was a collective sigh of relief when they finally could pull off those heavy bags and their jackets and sweaters. It seemed like the room automatically adjusted to be colder , they’ve stopped questioning why anything happens like it does in this place long ago.

Everyone made their piles of candy they liked and didn’t , except for Charlie , who wanted to try everything since he’s never really had anything other than Wonka whipple scrumptious fudgemallow delights. Once trading had started , half of everyone’s “No” candies went to Charlie , he didn’t complain.

Nobody had the energy to properly argue over the fairness of trades so they remained somewhat peaceful until someone decided Violet was scamming him.

“Seven lollipops aren’t worth three KitKats !”

“They’re totally worth it !”

“You’re scamming me !!”

“What do you think they’re worth then ??”

“Seven KitKats , seven lollipops.”

“That’s not fair !” Plink. He launched a whopper at her. “Now you’re not getting any.”

Mike was ready to wage war but the moment he tried to stand , he fell back down. Too much movement even for him. Veruca started snickering before clearing her throat like they weren’t doing anything , she couldn’t help it.

“Can it , bad nut.”

“You can it !”

Plink.

“You’re dead in the morning , Tiny Television.”

“Not if you die first.”

Veruca rolled her eyes , not giving that freak any more of their already low energy. They would never die before him. She’d make sure of it one way or another. Mike also seemed to give up wanting to fight , finally accepting the three KitKats. They were full sized anyway.

Everyone gradually shifted their attention to the only light in the room aside from the plastic light up pumpkins placed around , making the room a fitting red when the show’s lighting got darker. Trades were either fully finished or only done in lazy whispers and sliding candies across the floor to the other.

One by one , they started to fall asleep. Augustus slumped against an ottoman from his spot on the floor , Violet swore she was just going to hang her head for a second before she was out cold , Charlie curled in some uncomfortable looking position on one of the chairs.

Mike and Veruca took the longest to fall asleep , mainly because of Mike’s snoring. He was across the room from them and he still managed to bother her. She would flick small candies they didn’t want at him to get him to stop, which would wake him up briefly but he’d just grumble and go back to snoring. They eventually gave up , settling down on “her” couch like a princess would , in her mind , and finally getting their beauty sleep.

They’d all wake up with Halloween themed blankets somehow covering them but for now they’ll sleep peacefully.

[badteavee]

Help Needed for Fatima Shahin and Her Family in Lebanon

My name is Fatima Shahin from Choueifat, Lebanon. Our home was destroyed in the war, and we urgently need food, shelter, and basic necessities.

Please consider donating to support my family and others affected by this crisis. Your assistance can make a significant difference. 🇱🇧

Thank you for your generosity.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fatimas-family-survive-lebanons-crisis

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[badteavee]

Golden Ticket Winners costume aesthetics

[badteavee]

Willy Wonka x Fem ! Reader headcanons

- He leaves you for a man

[badteavee]

Happy birthday , by the way.

Tws / Cws : Suicidal Thoughts / Suicidal Ideation , just shitty mental health in general

Genre : Angst + Fluff

Word count : 1,074

Parings : Jeremy Heere x Michael Mell

Note : This is outside of my usual content but I love bmc and it’s super easy to project onto Michael Mell

11:30pm.

Most knew that Michael wasn’t the most stable individual , not by choice , it was just obvious. Almost weekly if not daily counselor visits , zoning out in class , starting to grey at 15 , barely functioning if he wasn’t high out of his mind. No one was more aware of it than Michael himself. Now he sat in his bedroom , staring at the wall because he couldn’t bring himself to look at his phone. He didn’t want to look at the time again , even if Jeremy texted , he couldn’t handle seeing how close it was to midnight. It’s too close to his birthday.

Ding.

Jeremy’s probably confirming that he’s on his way or he’s here. If he was , one of Michael’s moms could let him in.

11:42pm.

Jeremy slowly opened Michael’s door , a small plastic bag in one hand and a shitty blueberry muffin from Seven Eleven in the other. He knows Michael hasn’t been big on his birthday for a couple of years now but he didn’t like the thought of not getting him anything so he always got something small.

He met the taller’s eye as he set the goods on the side table , he obviously hadn’t slept the night before , his nails were halfway peeled , hang nails torn off. He won’t mention any of it , Michael barely was in a condition to talk , let alone about this.

11:44pm.

Jeremy saw how Michael turned away when he checked his phone , that was his mistake , he should be used to not checking until it was at least 1 am. He took his and Michael’s phones and put them in a drawer , grabbing the wii remotes. He handed one to Michael and sat back down , setting the tv up to play Super Mario Bros.

Michael considered declining , he didn’t feel like he could distract himself this year , he knew this was his best bet to not feel the existentialism however.

11:56pm.

Michael found himself pleasantly distracted , he should’ve known. Jeremy has known how to distract him since diapers. Every time loading takes a little too long or he has to wait for Jeremy to win for them , he can feel it clawing at the back of his mind. <i>It’s getting close to midnight.</i> he thinks. The game starts again and he feels it fade , being replaced by the competitive nature he definitely got from one of his moms.

It was game , wait , dread , game , repeat. It was a distressing cycle but distracting enough for him not to spiral. That’s all that mattered to the both of them.

11:59pm.

Jeremy quickly checked his watch while Michael was distracted , looking back up at the boy yelling at the game for something that was entirely his fault. He smiled , knowing he did his job correctly. He rolled his hoodie sleeve back up. “You know that was totally your fault , right ?”

“It was the controller ! It’s old and the buttons don’t work !”

“Excuses.”

Michael sighed , exasperated , while Jeremy laughed at his dramatics.

12:03am.

Jeremy spotted one of Michael’s moms , Rosemary , cracking open the door to quietly check in. He gave her a smile and subtle thumbs up that Michael was too busy singing along to the AC/DC vinyl he’d put on when he decided it was too quiet to notice. Rosemary grinned , slinking in to hand the boys the bowls of mac and cheese she usually made when they stayed up late.

“You boys don’t stay up too late now.” She ruffled Michael’s hair on her way back to the door , to which Michael groaned , trying to get his hair back to normal while still dancing in his seat.

“I’ll make sure he goes to sleep soon , Mrs. Mell.”

“Thank you , Jeremy.”

1:02am.

The boys had winded down by now , Michael putting on some documentary about dolphins , knowing that Jeremy had no say in the matter of what they watched. The shorter rolled his eyes , choosing to check his watch again.

In years passed , this would usually be the time he’d retrieve their phones and wish Michael a happy birthday but he knew better than to do that this year. Michael never actually thought he’d make it to 17 , something he’d only admitted once to Jeremy but explained a lot about his attitude towards birthday celebration. Every other year since he turned 13 was a possible last year but this one , now , was proof that he did make it. It’s something he should be proud of , it’s definitely something Jeremy and his moms were , but it felt weird.

Living passed what you were supposed to was an interesting experience , it felt numbing knowing you now had to plan your life , but it also was a relief. It’s nice to know you can prove yourself wrong.

Michael’s not thinking about any of that though , thanks to Jeremy , who grabbed the muffin and bag before cuddling into his best friend’s side. He held them just in case Michael didn’t want to take them just yet but he surprisingly took the small bag from him.

There were just a few new pins and patches for his jacket in there , some retro patches Jeremy found off eBay and Bob Marley pins. Michael smiled , hugging the other closer. “Thank you , Jerem..”

Jeremy returned the smile , pecking his cheek. “Of course , Micha.” He held up the muffin. “Wanna split it ?” The taller nodded , both of them trying to split the pastry best they could. It kept breaking off in smaller pieces or just crumbling all together so they gave up after about thirty seconds , resigning to just eating the pieces and taking bites from their halves.

1:53am.

Rosemary came by to check in once more before she joined her wife in bed , slowly opening the door to see them slumped against each other , fast asleep with Michael snoring into Jeremy’s hair. She softly crept in to turn off the record player and restart the documentary that autoplayed.

She paused to look through the drawer , taking the boy’s phones out. She caught a glimpse of Michael’s notifications as she did , multiple messages from him and Jeremy’s new friends all wishing him a happy birthday with stupid and excessive emoji combinations. She smiled and left the phones on the bedside table , leaning over the bed to kiss Michael’s forehead. “Happy birthday , baby..” She whispered before leaving the boys to sleep , she’ll give Michael his gifts in the morning.

[badteavee]

Little doodle from a magma session with some friends

[badteavee]

High school with the ticket winners casting

Or who I think the golden ticket winners would be as teenagers ( which might change in the future )

Charlie Bucket - Jeremy Heere

Augustus Gloop - Damian Leigh

Violet Beauregard - Jenna Rolan

Mike Teavee - Rich Goranski

Veruca Salt - Regina George

[badteavee]

Sit With Us

Tws / Cws : None

Genre : Fluff (?)

Word count : 1,063

Parings : Regina George and Rich Goranski / Veruca Salt and Mike Teavee , Vague Rich Goranski x Jake Dillinger

Ever since they started middle school , Veru and Mike never on the same social tier. Veru was typically treated how she always was at home , like the queen bee , she rose to popularity quick. Mike , on the other hand , wasn’t as easily accepted. Being home schooled all his life and his general not wanting to interact with anyone attitude meant that he was largely bullied or otherwise ignored.

That’s how it was up until their Sophomore year , Mike had stopped showing up at Veru’s house to bother her when their friends weren’t around a few weeks before the school year started , which she wouldn’t admit that she did anything but not care about that fact. It felt off but whatever , he still texted them at ungodly hours. He most likely got himself sick from being outside for more than a minute or something even more stupid. She wouldn’t put it past him. Unfortunately , he did show up at his usual time so they could drive them to school , but he looked a little different this year. Thankfully , he wasn’t wearing any of those ugly Underarmor shirts he owned , instead he wore a blue sleeveless shirt with an eye and his camo pants were actually normally colored this year. What a miracle. 

She gave him an unenthused stare while she grabbed their things , adjusting their outfit as she dragged him out of the house. “Why do you..” She couldn’t ask him why he looked cool , that’d be admitting that he was. “Why’s your hair pink.”

“Because I wanted it to be ?”

She slowed down their pace , turning and squinting at Mike. Where the hell is his lisp ? “.. It looks soo good.”

“Hey , the ladies will love it.”

They rolled their eyes , ‘the ladies’ haven’t loved anything he’s done since he was born. She threw her bag into the back of their car , “Get in the car.” and got in , Mike following suit. She took another glance at him before starting the car , he looked too weird like this. Not just the clothes , his posture was straighter , a green bandanna in place of the headphones he’s been wearing since they met , just weird. At least he didn’t look like a ten year old dressed him anymore.

They eventually pulled into Veru’s designated parking spot that she technically shouldn’t have yet , her stopping to adjust their makeup in the rear view mirror. Usually Mike would begrudgingly stay in the car with her and fuck around with his phone since there was no one to run off to and bother but this time he almost immediately go out , leaping over the car door to jog over to Jake. “Yo , Jakey D !” Veru almost stabbed themself in the eye with her mascara from how fast they turned their head to the boys direction. She watched , bewildered , as they dapped each other up like they’ve been friends forever. What the fuck happened over those weeks.

Whatever. Whatever , they were going to ditch him for Gretchen and Karen anyway. At least she wasn’t going to be bothered about every little thing she did. They put their makeup in her bag and got out to go meet up with her friends , now that they were finally pulling up , they tried to push how Mike was acting to the back of her head for now. This could be dealt with later.

Unfortunately , later meant Mike sitting with Jake at her lunch table. Damn. She inwardly huffed as they sat down next to Gretchen , who was way too excitedly questioning Mike and Jake. “Are you sure you’re not new ? I don’t remember you.”

“You just didn’t notice , nobody did.”

Karen butt in , “Are you a magician ?” She unfortunately sounded like she’d believe him if he said yes.

Veru cut him off before he could answer to ask her own question. “Mike , did you get rejected from your loser table ? Why are you here.”

“I hoped you wouldn’t mind , I wanted to invite my boy to eat with us.”

“I didn’t know you two were that.. close. Good for you.” She eyed the two , putting on that ‘ally !!’ Type smile.

“It’s not like that !” For whatever reason , Veru genuinely laughed at that , maybe she didn’t believe it or Mike was suddenly funny.

“Whatever you say , Michael.”

Actually , Veru found themself half stifling laughs at a lot of the things Mike said during lunch , everyone at the table seemed to agree he was funny. Mike was never this funny before. Not from what Veru remembers. But at least he was tolerable now.

At some point two geeks walked by , Veru never remembered their names , just the red hoodie and the awkward one always with the red hoodie. Mike suddenly turned , putting his leg out and tripping the awkward guy. She had to take a second to process what just happened , Mike just tripped a guy on purpose ? And he’s not getting his ass kicked ?? Either way , she couldn’t hold the snicker this time , joining her table in laughing at the poor guy , who’s already been hauled up and away by red hoodie.

The table spent the remaining time laughing the losers , watching the boys make competitions out of throwing trash and Karen occasionally asking Mike questions. Apparently , Mike now skateboarded and was best friends with Jake , who he only started talking to in those few weeks he was gone. So that’s who she was ditched for. Huh.

In the middle of their conversation , the lunch bell rang and the entire table sighed. Nobody wanted to go to their next class , almost all of them had the same math class with the worst teacher ever. They cleaned up and got their stuff together , Karen and Jake splitting off to go to their classes and leaving the rest to talk as they walked. Veru knew they didn’t have time but stopped Mike before they went into the classroom anyway , Ms. Smith can wait. “I don’t know what happened to you but you should totally sit with us. You actually qualify now.”

“You want me near y-“ Mike’s posture straightened a bit more as he cut himself off. “Yeah , cool.”

Veru took Mike’s hand , interlocking their index and pinky fingers in the handshake that they made when they were young. “You’re still weird.” They let go , both of them walking in to Mrs. Smith already yelling about lateness.

[badteavee]

Bro really thinks hes Nagito

[badteavee]

Christmas With The Ticket Winners

Tws / Cws : None

Genre : Fluff

Word count : 2,451

Paring : Mainly the gtws and some content of their parents

The kids all grumbled and mumbled , slowly following Charlie out of the elevator as they tried to rub the sleep from their eyes. It was too early to be up and moving like this but Charlie was too insistent on it for anyone to tell him off for it , no one was even given the time to change out of their pjs or fix their hair , they were all a mess.

Mike and Veruca would side eye each other every now and again , inwardly making fun of the other as they weren’t awake enough to do it outwardly. Veruca wore a pink tee with matching fuzzy pants , her hair straight for once and a bit messy from the bonnet they were wearing that was now torn off. They wore no makeup which didn’t change much anyway , her face was still disgustingly perfect. Mike’s hair was completely flat against his head , making him look like he owned a MySpace blog , and he was wearing pjs completely covered in the captain knuckleduster logo. They both thought the other looked like the dumbest imaginable.

Violet was choosing to ignore what Augustus looked like , him wearing some cheap looking Christmas pjs she knew definitely matched a pair his mother , everyone had seen Augustus in his pajamas enough times to not judge so harshly. She , on the other hand , wore an oversized tee prototype of her own merch and some basketball shorts , not bothering to take off her bonnet since she couldn’t care less currently.

Charlie was tired himself , but his eyes still lit up with an inhuman amount of excitement. He wore a cheap plaid pajama set that matched with the rest of his family and his usual beanie to cover his unbrushed hair. He knew it was too early for most to be up but he was too excited to wait any longer.

He lead the tired mass to the doors of the candy paradise , where an unsurprisingly wide awake Wonka in a nightgown and nightcap stood with a smile. They all could tell whatever he had planned was not for the tired. Whatever’s up there save them.

Wonka gave Charlie a nod , cuing him to open the doors with him , revealing the wonderland that’s become of the room. A wave of perfectly temperatured air washed over them all , taking every hint of exhaustion they had and replacing it with awe and joy. They all shuffled like the first time they saw it , listening to the gleeful father and son point out every new addition. Festive cookies growing from twisting candy cane trees , yule log cakes piled in a holder like they were freshly cut down , cotton candy bushes growing tea cakes. Everything was coated in a perfect layer of powdered sugar.

In the midst of their awe , Mike stepped wrong , slipping on the sugary ground and falling back into the powder , sending a puff of it into the air. Veruca and Violet stopped to laugh , him in turn reaching up and trying to pull them down. Veruca fell with a squeal and another puff of sugar , Violet tried to stay up by grabbing onto Augustus but only ended up dragging him down with her. Mike cackled , pumping his hand in the air in victory. “Triple score !”

“Michael !” Veruca wanted to sound mad but truthfully , they couldn’t help laughing either , starting a chain through the rest of them. Charlie even joined in , laughing as he flopped down with them. It felt like joy was in the air , which was possible here in this factory but this was unprompted , maybe even pure. They were covered in sugar and sure to need a shower later but they couldn’t care about it right now. There was just something about this room that made it hard to feel bad.

They took their time calming down , eventually getting themselves up and attempting to dust themselves off as Wonka came to stand with them. “Follow me , there’s so much time and so little to see.”

He got a chorus of “Strike that , reverse it” from the group , he hummed like he was annoyed but that stupid smile betrayed him.

“You’re all so smart , aren’t you ? Nevermind , advance !” He pointed his his cane forward and practically skipped off , leaving the kids to carefully hurry after him. He’s surprisingly fast for someone so old. Wonka acted as a tour guide as they went , pointing out stollen mushrooms , lily pads made of chocolate chip peppermint cookies , shortbread chickens that laid cookie dough eggs. Charlie had gotten to pick out the treats for the holidays so he decided to honor his friends , he watched the others recognize their favorite desserts , all of them grabbing them as they passed by.

Nobody thought to think of where they were being lead until Wonka suddenly stopped , making the line all halt and stumble into each other. They all grumbled , rubbing their shoulders and arms as they muttered questions , shooting short glares at the older before spotting what they stopped for.

Ahead was a giant chocolate pine tree dusted in powdered sugar , decorated with sugar ornaments and string lights made of liquid sunshine and liquorish. Their parents were sat around the tree on yule logs , drinking from sugar flower mugs and laughing at whatever they were talking about. At the base of the tree were groups of presents , clearly color coded to each family’s signature color.

Time never felt like it passed in the factory , no one other than the Buckets had realized it was Christmas until now. Shit. It was Christmas. The kids all shuffled their way over to sit down near their parents , the regular groups being forced to sit together , Mike and Veruca , Violet and Augustus , Charlie and his parents. Nobody seemed too unhappy about the arrangement currently , everyone was distracted by the wonder.

Their parents exchanged ‘Merry Christmas’s with their kids and Wonka as they got settled in , the adults continuing their conversation they were having while the kids finished their desserts and chatted if they felt like it. Mike shoved the rest of the bit of peppermint he snapped off a tree into his mouth before elbowing Veruca.

“Bet this is a downgrade for her majesty , huh ?”

“I still have more presents than you , dumbo.”

“Nuh uh ! You have.. one !”

“Look closer , stupid ! I have two.” Mike squinted at the collection of presents , rolling his eyes.

“Whatever ! You’re still getting two and not thousands !”

“You’re mad you’re poor.” Poof. Screech. They shook their head like a dog , trying to shake off at least some of the sugar of her while Mike laughed in her face. Ethel and Oleg shared a look , so proud their kids made friends.

Violet rolled her eyes at the two’s antics , knowing she’d do the same to them given the opportunity , and continued her trade of treats with Augustus. She’d managed to grab a good few of the lily pads and was happy to trade some for an equal amount of Augustus’ mushrooms. Chocolate still dripped from the lilies but neither seemed to mind , too wrapped in a conversation about what stollen was.

Charlie kept himself busy with his shortbread chicken and a few tea cakes he grabbed from the bushes , adding a few things into the conversation his parents were having here and there. He enjoyed the joy everyone else was feeling, liking knowing that he helped cause this. It may just be the room but everybody seemed at ease , their arguing feeling like jokes between friends instead of arguments between lifelong enemies.

Wonka watched to see when the children were done with their shenanigans and eating before clearing his throat , gaining almost everyone’s attention. Mike and Veruca had to be nudged by their parents to stop shoving and throwing sugar at each other. They shot glares but stopped to listen , both looking like they took a nosedive into the layered ground. “Thank you.” The elder chocolatier smiled at the group , no hint of distain behind it. “Shall we open the presents ?” He passed the gifts to their designated person , yellows and oranges to the Teavees , Light pinks and Grays to the Salts and so on. The gifts all had one of the other kid’s names on the from tag , nobody other than Charlie had actual gotten another a gift. It’s apparently very easy to get someone to pick a gift for another if they’re distracted. Before Veruca could even take a nail to the tape , he spoke again. “We will start with Augustus.”

“We never took turns in my house..”

“We’re not in your house , stupid !”

“Shut up !”

Wonka pinched the bridge of his nose , always something with those two. “Now you both can go last. Good ? Good. Wonderful !” He motioned to Augustus. “Go ahead.”

Augustus opened his present , the tag saying it came from Violet , a Nintendo Switch with stickers to decorate the handles with and a couple gift cards for the shop. He grinned , absolutely over the moon. The switch caught the attention of Mike , of course it did. “You play games ??”

“Of course ! What else would I do in my room ?”

“Eat your food stash ?”

“That too !” That made. A lot of sense. Mike’s perception of people who were actually quiet in their rooms is very little.

Violet went next , hers being from Augustus , opening a magenta sweater with ‘Queen pop’ in purple rhinestones on the back of it and crown details on the sleeves. There was an additional bag of crown shaped hair charms to match the sweater.

Charlie still got to open a gift this round , this one was just from his mother , she’d gotten him a new , bigger notebook since she knew his old one was getting practically unusable by now.

Mike had to be nudged by his mother then shoved by Veruca to get him to look up from his tablet , he groaned and grumbled , pausing his zombie game. Before he could open his , Wonka spoke up again. “Veruca , you go too.”

“What ?!”

“Didn’t I say you both go last ?”

“It’s Tiny Teavee’s fault !”

“Nuh uh ! It’s Bad Nut’s fault !”

Oh these children will never stop no matter how much they grow , will they ? “I can take them back.”

“No !” They shouted in unison.

“Then get on with it.”

The two kids mumbled profanities , pouting but opening their gifts. Them obviously being from each other since everyone but them are convinced they’re best friends.

Veruca , of course , got theirs open first , it was a new tiara and matching pair of earrings. They felt real. Like <i>expensive<i> real. They would’ve questioned how the hell that neon freak afforded this but she was too caught up in how pretty it was , it looked like a genuine princess’ tiara , though they tried to look like they hated it because it was from Michael. Ew.

Mike opened his to see a <i>bunch<i> of Captain Knuckleduster merch , a few shirts , a poster , bracelets etc. Most of which he somehow didn’t have yet. He briefly forgot their shared plan to hate whatever gift they got , his eyes absolutely glittering with excitement , he’s loved Captain Knuckleduster since he became conscious. But of course , he shot Veruca a ‘disgusted’ glare , of which she returned , have to keep up appearances.

Veruca was then passed her extra gift , it unsurprisingly from their father. No one except Ethel , her father , and the Buckets were paying attention anymore , either enthralled in conversation or messing with their new things , but they didn’t care. They tore it open , rabid child , pulling out a new ‘mink’ coat , a direct copy of their old one since Mike ruined it with rain on one of his stupid escapades. They took a second to stare at it with starry eyes before , “Thank you , papa.”

It felt like the world stopped , everyone stopped their conversations , dropping their new things to stare at the ballerina with widened eyes and their mouths hanging open in shock. Even Mrs. Bucket looked bewildered , hand over her heart. The other kids looked to one another with did hell just freeze over ? looks , Nobody has <i>ever <i> heard her say thank you , they didn’t even think they were capable of it. Oleg shook off his shock , at least for a second , to grin softly at her. “You’re welcome , Verushca.”

Mike turned to face them , mouth still agape , and looked her up and down like she’d been replaced by someone else. “Who are you ?!”

“I’m still me , dumbo !”

“You’re not acting like it !!”

“Fuck off !” The argument eased everyones shock just a little bit , yup , that was definitely still Veruca.

Slowly conversation started back up , everybody going back to their own thing. Mike successfully begged his mom into hand him his switch , which he knew that she almost always had on her , and caught the attention of Augustus. “Hey ! I bet you can’t beat me in Mario Kart !” The two were instantly locked in a very competitive game , they both seemed like they were having fun.

Veruca and Violet would rather die than talk to each other in front of others , so the queen went off with her father to take pictures in her new sweater and the princess pranced off in their new coat , practicing some ballet moves they knew they needed to perfect. Amidst Mike loudly celebrating his win , he spotted Veruca wearing her new tiara , of course she would’ve waited until they were far away to put it on , and he smiled a bit wider. Stupid room and giving him good emotions.

Nobody but Charlie fully witnessed the parents opening their gifts , all of which suited their personalities pretty well , the most the others saw were glimpses of the men giving each other loving stares but got too disgusted to witness anything else.

Charlie had seemed to remember something once the adults opened all their presents , standing up to retrieve a a small gift with a specific kind of purple wrapping paper and bringing it to Wonka , he couldn’t let Wonka be the only one without something new. Wonka took it with a soft , questioning smile. “I didn’t want to exclude you !”

Wonka chuckled , patting Charlie’s shoulder as he opened it. “You’re sweet , kid.” He pulled out a small handmade bracelet in his colors and Charlie rolled down his sleeve , showing off the matching bracelet he wore , it being the colors of his usual sweater. The elder grinned , pulling Charlie into a hug , he smiled wide and returned the hug immediately. “Merry Christmas , Charlie.”

“Merry Christmas , Mr. Wonka.”

As if the others were paying attention , which they absolutely weren’t , they chorused merry Christmas’ from their places of the room before going back to what they were doing. They hope to never do that again.