bagelboihijinks

[bagelboihijinks]

I like your avatar. What's it from?

The Ember Knight webtoon. Her name is Ludika. Her design is one of my favorites

[bagelboihijinks]

The Undersiders streaming Minecraft after Taylor’s identity reveal instead of Tay turning herself in. They aren’t gonna go to war with Tagg, they’re just gonna become so likable that he gets kicked out of the Bay. So obviously the first thing they do is stream the biggest game at the time. Like how AOC streamed Among Us.

Alec has been playing since it was called Cave Game, so he spends a lot of time explaining how it works and all that. Brian keeps asking “okay but what do you do?” And Alec has to explain that it’s a goddamn sandbox game and you can do whatever the fuck you want. Brian ends up just collecting resources and giving them away to whoever needs them because he needs a goal and likes the feeling of being able to provide even in Minecraft.

Lisa has more fun than she expects, but really she gets more enjoyment out of the streaming aspect. Because for Lisa, having thousands of live viewers in her chat ripe for mass manipulation is like being a kid in a candy store.

Rachel wouldn’t play, but if she did, she’d lag out the world by breeding too many wolves. Alec would try to kill the wolves to reduce lag, and Rachel would then try to kill Alec in real life.

Taylor would accidentally invent the most efficient and game breaking farms just by dicking around and trying to optimize her base. Over a decade down the line Minecraft players will still be using farms and methods based off of her playthrough.

Aisha similarly would innovate new technologies in Minecraft that would become classic staples, but her contributions would all be traps and griefing methods designed to cause as much chaos and despair as possible.

The streams get super popular obviously and eventually Tagg is kicked out of Brockton for being an aggressive jackass. You could either go with the PRT leaving Brockton in entirety, or just replacing Tagg with a more passive director.

[bagelboihijinks]

Scrub is actually a dope ass name and the only thing that Skidmark deserves credit for.

[bagelboihijinks]

Guys a woman in a fedora just walked up to me in Walmart, put a can of Diet Cherry Coke in my cart, told me i’m gay, and then backflipped into a hole in the ground that didn’t exist.

What… what does this mean?

[bagelboihijinks]

One of Eidolon’s most used powers is a DBZ Piccolo-esque Clothes Beam because when Behemoth vaporizes Alexandria’s suit all of the lesbians fighting can’t help but stop and look, so it is strategically imperative that Eidolon reclothe her as soon as possible so as to not lose a shit ton of distracted capes.

[bagelboihijinks]

“I love exercising my autonomy” I says as I looking at my sister whom I love platonically

“Hi” Says the feral Amy Dallon

[bagelboihijinks]

Insanely impressive that Clockblocker managed to freeze Leviathan. Crazy feat. Normally getting up close and personal with an Endbringer is a job for lesbians. And Colin, who is kind of a lesbian if you think about it.

[bagelboihijinks]

Taylor: Hey here’s a team decision i’m making by myself.

Alec: Ok.

Taylor’s Mind: God he sucks. But like in a useful way I guess. What a creep.

Alec’s Mind: I am such a good friend.

[bagelboihijinks]

Taylor made beetles and ants re-enact A Charlie Brown Christmas for the other wards during a stakeout at a possible Elite safehouse.

It had stopped snowing so she used flies to pick up little pieces of snow on the ground and dropped them over her little play.

She had a chorus of little bug singers that was shockingly pleasant to the ear

Halfway through Linus the Beetle’s speech about the meaning of Christmas, the Elite appear and Taylor uses little Linus to crawl into a man’s eyelids and cause permanent vision loss.

Merry Christmas.

[bagelboihijinks]

It’s left unsaid but during the timeskip when Taylor was in the Wards the CIA tried to poach her because of how good she is at radicalizing youth.

Every college speech class in America has a section dedicated to studying her “Arcadia address”

The PRT stopped letting her speak during her mandatory PR appearances because every time she gave a speech it resulted in large amounts of civil unrest.

She won Speaker of the Year but was too focused on preparing for Jack to care so she never actually picked up the award. Dragon has it pinned on the fridge in the Guild’s break room.

[bagelboihijinks]

I remember first reading Worm and hearing Tattletale explain her powers and thinking:

Girl, you’re a Big Deal™. You can just hack into the PRT’s shit? And you “know things”? What the hell are you doing with the Undersiders? Seriously, she has the most dangerous power of all of them. The only one who comes close is Alec and that isnt revealed until way later.

Her first Endbringer fight she finds out the Endbringers were never human. AND their wacky density shit. AND the fact that they’re sandbagging. Girlie, you should be playing ball with the big boys, not robbing banks.

She’s seriously like the most effective Thinker out there. Especially since Accord comes packaged with Murder-OCD.

I was genuinely convinced Wildbow would kill her off at some point because her power is just that fucking nutty. The fucking bullshit she pulls off with the Simurgh is insane. There is not one other person that could have done that.

So here you have one of the top Thinkers in the world hanging out with what amounts to a bunch of dorks with gimmicks. It’s like if Shohei Ohtani was just another member of your highschool baseball team.

It just seemed hilarious to me upon first reading it, and actually got even funnier in hindsight.

[bagelboihijinks]

She skittered on my worm til it grue

[bagelboihijinks]

In one of Coil’s timelines he was caught because he kept inserting USBs correctly on the first try and Colin noticed the complete improbability of that happening and thus deduced that Thomas Calvert must have some kind of thinker power

[bagelboihijinks]

Jack Slash: Hey gang! Let’s split up and search for new members!

Shatterbird: Like, zoinks, Jack! We’d better get going!

Nightmarish Horror Beast Bonesaw Made From 3 Apples And A Two By Four: I am the ultimate evil. Complete with hot and cold running water.

Mannequin: Oh my god. This is my life now. What wrathful god did I offend to deserve this. Every second I spend alive on this godforsaken planet is a second wasted in agony. Every time I think that my hatred cannot possibly surpass itself, that it cannot possibly grow to a new extreme, I am proven wrong. Burn. Burn, all of you.

Crawler: It’s Crawling time!

[bagelboihijinks]

I like to imagine Armsmaster after a 35 hour tinker bender walking around the rig excitedly looking for little situations to use his new hyper specific tinker tech like:

Miss Militia: *in the break room about to put some bread in the toaster*

Armsmaster: *takes slice of bread, clasps it in both hands for 3 seconds, hands it back perfectly toasted and somehow buttered*

And everyone just goes on as normal because he’s been doing this for over a decade. Sometimes Assault will try to manufacture little situations himself just to see if Armsy has a solution for it.

Assault: Darn, i dropped these very important documents into this incredibly thin slot between the industrial printer and the wall.

MildInconvenienceMaster: *holds out tool tailor made to get small or thin things out of similarly small or thin crevices. Assault will go on to use this whenever his phone slides between his bed and wall at home.*

Everyone sort of silently encourages it because theres been a few times over the years where his Perfect-Slice-of-Toast-In-Under-Three-Seconds Gauntlets have come in clutch and genuinely saved hundreds of lives.

It’s Colin’s awkward way of being helpful and somewhat social. Dragon thinks it’s adorable.

[bagelboihijinks]

>be me, PRT officer

>nice gig all things considered. I’m one of the few who isn’t in the bug bite club, aka, anyone who’s been near the Bay’s teenage warlord.

>apparently yesterday she literally just turned herself in. Thank god her reign is over. I’m arachnophobic.

>about to reach my car to get lunch at Fugly Bob’s when suddenly a woman slams down onto it, completely totaling my ride.

>holyfuckitsalexandria.jpeg

>a literal swarm escapes her mouth like the plagues of pandora’s fucking box.

>fuck she isn’t breathing

>think about doing cpr but her mouth is covered in black widows so…

>fast forward a couple days, the Queen of Creepy Crawlies is now on our side, some fucking how.

>at least i didn’t get chewed out by the director, seeing as how he also suffered from death by biblical punishment

>mfw I realize I never got my Fuglys

[bagelboihijinks]

Alexandria and Sevika would scissor so hard send post