bardfromhell

[bardfromhell]

[MASTERPOST] - witcher!Jaskier is back!! I can't believe I finally did it, yesss, I finally drew something for those two again 😭

Also: Jaskier is 5 seconds away from being thrown at the next drowner.

[bardfromhell]

Your pain matters, Jaskier. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide it from me. This happened because of me. And I might not deserve your forgiveness, but I would still like to have it. I’d… like to try and do better, if you’d let me. 

[bardfromhell]

With you I could summon the gods and the stars Watch them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart And we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears. We were kids.

Consider: Cat Witcher!Jaskier and Aiden. Best friends attempting to outrun their feelings for certain wolves. The attempts are not very succesful.

[bardfromhell]

joey batey really said bi!jaskier rights

[bardfromhell]

Lambert, meeting Jaskier for the first time: So you're Geralt's bitch?

Jaskier: Gods no, I would never take that title away from you.

Lambert:

Geralt: *impressed*

Eskel, turning to Geralt: I love him, great taste!

[bardfromhell]

Yennefer: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Geralt: I don’t know, Jaskier, how tall are you?

Jaskier: >:0

[bardfromhell]

Northern Ballad by Andrey Vinogradov

[bardfromhell]

"Fuck, this is horrible".

Geralt raised his head from his spot on the bed, where he was rearranging his bag. Jaskier was standing in front of a mirror by the window, examining his hair.

"I can't believe this" the bard muttered again, to himself.

Geralt stared at him, knitting his eyebrows. "What, Jaskier?"

The bard pouted at his reflection and Geralt resisted the urge to laugh. "I'm getting old".

Geralt got up from the bed with a heavy sigh. He walked up to Jaskier, standing behind him and encircling the bard's waist. Geralt placed his chin on Jaskier shoulder and spoke to his reflection. "What now?"

Jaskier ran a hand through his hair. "I found a white hair, Geralt".

"Such a disaster having white hair, isn't it?" Geralt mumbled softly, kissing Jaskier behind the ear.

"Oh shut up, you ridiculously gorgeous himbo" Jaskier kicked his leg lightly and Geralt laughed into his neck. "White hair means I'm getting old, Geralt. And being old means no longer beautiful".

"First, allow me to disagree. I'll always think of you as handsome and irritatingly charming".

"Oh, sto- Go on".

Geralt rolled his eyes fondly and placed his chin back on Jaskier's shoulder. He rubbed Jaskier's stomach in soothing circles, staring at their reflections. "Besides" the Witcher finally spoke "You look exactly the same as the first day I met you". The Witcher knitted his eyebrows in thought, as soon as he realized that fact.

Jaskier rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Now you're just lying".

Geralt blinked at him. "I'm not. Jaskier, how old are you?"

Jaskier raised his eyes to the ceiling, mumbling something under his breath. Geralt was slightly shocked that the bard didn't remember his own age.

"...fifty-nine, I think. Or fifty-eight? I don't know. We've been traveling for about forty years and I met you when I was eighteen. So yeah, probably fifty-eight".

Geralt gaped at the mirror. "Jaskier. You don't look like you're sixty".

"Hey! I'm fifty eigh-"

"Jaskier, you look barely twenty-something. I've seen humans aged sixty, they don't look like this".

Jaskier shrugged with a smug smile. "Guess I got my mother's genes".

"No" Geralt muttered. "Something's wrong. We need to talk to Yennefer".

****

Geralt: ...You did what, again?

Yennefer, rolling her eyes: I gave him an aging slowing process potion. I think it was- about thirty years ago? About the time when I realized that you have feelings for him.

Geralt: Okay, but why?

Yennefer, shrugging: He's a human. Their lives are short. Didn't want you to be sad over his death.

Geralt: That's... Really nice of you, Yen. Thank you.

Yennefer: Sorry I didn't tell you. It's okay if you don't want to get Jaskier involved with magic.

Geralt: Actually, do you have more of those potions?

**fifty years later**

Jaskier: Geralt... Remember our talk about me not aging?

Geralt, watching Jaskier sip the tea he mixed with Yennefer's potion earlier: no

[bardfromhell]

Toss the coin to your witcher

[bardfromhell]

[bardfromhell]

[bardfromhell]

Eskel: So I heard you fell in love with a human. Doesn't it scare you? That you need to protect him all the time?

Geralt: Wait for it...

Jaskier: *walks into the tavern, humming cheerfully and wiping his dagger on a piece of cloth* Sorry I'm late, the guys outside started talking shit about hunting Witchers, so I took care of it.

Eskel:

Geralt: *grinning proudly* Jaskier, this is my brother, Eskel.

Jaskier: *reaching for a handshake before realizing his hand is covered in blood and switching hands* Hi, pleased to meet you!

Eskel: *carefully shaking Jaskier's hand and glancing at Geralt with wide eyes* Forget what I asked earlier. Also, I'm jealous.

[bardfromhell]

I think I'm crazy 😂

I just spent a bit lot of money for this stuff but you know what? I regret nothing and can't wait to read the books 🥰

[bardfromhell]

guys look what I just made ❤️

I went to the meadow to pick some buttercups and made pendant with real jaskier 😍 It's not perfect but I still love it

[bardfromhell]

See you around, Geralt. (insp.)

[bardfromhell]

Joey Batey performing “Hallelujah” in Not About Angels (2011)

[bardfromhell]

joey batey cursing/yelling in the bake off video but set to wii music