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CW: NSFW. Suggestive (?)

my friends fed me a Father Shane fanfic by mosaic915 (highly recommended btw!)

And Father Shane has been living rent free in my head ever since... 👀

The uncensored version is on my Bluesky just in case Tumblr decides to bap me for it 🗞

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This is so funny. To me.

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I had WAY too much fun filling out this Fan-uary meme. Here's the black template for anyone who wants to fill it out, too! (under cut)

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I see a glimmer within my scrying orb…A shard of knowledge from the future!

Gave my old Welwick a redraw!

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Elliott loves being outside. He loves it SO much. this is....all I can share on this site🙈🙈🙈🙈 the saucy version can be sent to you if you want! just DM me <3

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Good morning from your doctor husband ❤️❤️❤️❤️

What’s he reading?

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old master cannoli for tonights drawing.

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Gonna draw a full-body rendered portrait of one of these fine men.. Determined by the people, off the people 😌💖 ily, have a great dayyyy~

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op, for after the bracket ends, do you hate harvey or sebastian?

Now that the Quarterfinals have officially concluded, I can reveal my true intentions!

This was all actually a social experiment I decided to pull on April Fool's Day. I had noticed the fact that most of the people I saw in my notes making comments over the course of the tournament so far were active voters for Harvey, and wanted to see what would happen if I rallied support for Sebastian. (This first tournament was randomized, and therefore has much lower stakes, after all!)

My hypothesis was that trying to sway the vote towards Sebastian would cause Harvey fans to retaliate, which would then cause Sebastian fans to retaliate to THAT, so on and so forth, ultimately culminating in no change in percentage (the percentages before I posted that were 45-55 in favor of Harvey) while still increasing engagement in the polls.

What actually transpired was a tad different, evidently; while rallying support for Sebastian did indeed cause the back-and-forth call to arms from both sides, the vote actually became WAY closer than 45-55 at the end, as you can see. Sebastian and Harvey were overtaking each other a lot, and the results were changing really frequently! (For example, Sebastian was in a relatively sizeable lead just an hour before the end of the poll!) Also, engagement SKYROCKETED here. Like, Sebastian vs. Harvey on its own got around an order of magnitude more votes than all the other polls beforehand on average.

You all fought well, and in the end, Harvey managed to stick it out by just a couple votes! This was a lot of fun to watch unfold from my end, too! Ultimately, this blog is just meant for a bit of goofy fun, and I never expected the results to be Exactly The Way I Want Them, because, well, that's not accurate! That's not scientific! I've got my own favorites and least favorites, but all in all, a tournament is about the community!

...That being said, I do think Harvey is a fucking creep.

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Honored to help my friend @doctor-aceus-art with some writing!

!!!NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!!

“You do this on purpose, don’t you?”

Fresh out of the shower, Jay jumped into the air a little, surprised by their husband. They turned toward the sound of his deep, rich voice. Gus was leaning on the doorway, his hands in his pockets.

“What do you mean?” Jay asked, lifting the towel around their neck to rub their hair dry.

Their husband was out of sight when they peeked out from the towel and looked over again. A pair of strong, warm arms embraced them from behind.

“You know exactly what I mean, honey,” he whispered into their exposed neck. Slowly, he let his hand wander under their red tank top. He held it there long enough for Jay's cheeks to change from rosy to a dark crimson. “You’re wearing them again.”

A kiss on the neck made Jay’s heart beat faster.

“The pants?” they asked innocently.

A tickle from his moustache on their neck. Jay closed their eyes.

Gus’s breath was hot against their damp skin. “The sweatpants.”

Another kiss.

“They are comfy,” Jay said, letting themselves rest on their husband’s front. His stomach was soft and comforting against the small of their back.

“They’re unfair, love, and you know that.”

Jay released the towel with one hand and let it wander behind Gus's head, their fingers trailing through his hair.

“Unfair?”

A hum of agreement.

“Look at the clock, honey.” Jay’s voice was becoming breathless. They ruffled Gus’s hair and tried to turn his attention to the clock on the wall behind the two of them. They didn’t want to move from their husband’s embrace, but—

“The saloon opens in a few minutes.”

“That's all the time I need,” Gus said with sudden determination. His hand wandered, slowly, eagerly, into Jay's sweatpants.

Original by me, edited by @barrebard

Thank you so much again for helping me with this!! 💜💚💜💚

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(Look, I know I haven’t been on tumblr in eons, but I wrote a lil fic to go with this amazing art my friend did, so here you go.)

Honeymoon 

Waking up at 6am on the dot has its advantages. In the summer, it means getting your chores out of the way before the heat of the day sets in. In the winter, it means some extra time snuggled under the covers before having to face the day.

It’s the middle of summer now, but there are no chores to do. Yesterday was your wedding day, and today is the first day of your honeymoon. Shane and Marnie promised to look in on your animals while you're gone, and Jas is in charge of watering the crops (a job she treats with the utmost seriousness).

And yet, here it is: 6am, and you’re already awake.

Your inability to ever sleep in still has advantages, though. Namely, rolling over to see your husband sleeping soundly beside you. He’s so handsome it takes your breath away. How did you get so lucky as to have him? Your tall, broad-shouldered doctor with the hint of gray at his temples. He looks so soft, so warm in his sleep; so calm and content that even his mustache seems relaxed.

You want to let him sleep. Yesterday was a long day, and you both passed out the moment you got to your hotel late last night. So, you slide out of bed as deftly as possible to use the bathroom and splash water on your face. Your mind is already running through the informal itinerary you put together for this trip, trying to decide which adventure you should tackle after breakfast. But when you return to the bedroom...

Well. Perhaps Harvey wasn’t sleeping as soundly as you thought. He’s woken up to greet you. And oh, what a greeting.

He hugs his pillow to his naked chest, head propped up on his hand. That stunning shoulder is pushed forward, and his hip arches gracefully in his favorite green pajama pants. The sinuous curve of his body sends a shiver down your spine. Suddenly, you’re overcome with the urge to sink your teeth into the slight bulge at his waist, right where it swells, right where it meets his waistband.

“Good morning, honey,” Harvey says, his voice slightly muffled.

When your eyes travel up his body and settle on his face, you see why. An unwrapped condom dangles from his lips, and even though he’s giving you the sexiest bedroom eyes you’ve ever seen, you can't help but laugh. 

“I can’t imagine that tastes very good,” you tease, crossing your arms over your chest. You’re trying your best to appear nonchalant, but you’re pretty sure your husband can see the way you squirm as heat pools low in your belly.

A crooked grin appears on his face. “Well... no, not really.”

You’re about to make another joke (right before pouncing on him, of course), but you don’t have a chance. Harvey drums his fingers, long and thin, on the mattress alongside the pillow, drawing your attention. Damn him. He knows exactly what those fingers do to you. They don’t even have to be touching you for goosebumps to skitter across your skin in anticipation.

He chuckles, and you realize you’re biting your lip. He slowly lifts his hand to his mouth and removes the condom from between his lips. He rolls it between his fingers, his eyes never leaving yours. “Honey, we can chill today. Honeymoons are for relaxing.”

He reaches out a hand for you, and you smile affectionately your husband. He knows you so well, sometimes it’s like he can read your mind. You toss out your mental list of honeymoon activities. There’s only one that matters today. 

You take his hand and let Harvey pull you into the bed. He shoves the pillow in front of him aside and rolls on top of you. His mermaid pendant dangles from his neck, the tip of it grazing your collarbone. You can feel his eagerness already, and you curl your hips into his. 

Harvey groans as he presses against you in return. With a wicked grin, he whispers, “Doctor’s orders.”

His kiss is sweet perfection. As you wrap your arms around his back and feel the warmth of his skin, you can’t imagine any better way to spend the first day of your honeymoon.

"Honey, we can chill today, our honeymoon is meant to be relaxing."

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Happy 1000th birthday, Werner.

The chronicle of the monk Herbert of Reichenau for the year 1021 ends “My brother Werner was born on November 1.“ 

1021 was not an uneventful year. The emperor began a campaign into Italy. Illustrious abbots died. There was an earthquake. But Herbert took the time to note, at the end of the year, that his brother was born. 

Of such acts of tenderness is history made. 

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None Pizza with Left Beef is 10 years old today.

happy birthday to a decade-old meme.

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kermit the frog was so fucked up for writing the rainbow connection