batmanadvice

[batmanadvice]

Hello everyone,

Sorry I have been taking a while to get to your questions and queries. The Dark Knight has been taking his own advice and having some much needed self-care, as well as rekindling my sewing hobby. below is one of several bats I have been making.

I want to clarify also that if you do not require advice, but just need someone to speak to, this inbox is always open

Hope to speak with you soon.

[batmanadvice]

Asking this as a clarifying question, since I don't see a stance stated, when you say systems, are you including endogenics? Or are you primarily referring to disordered and/or traumagenics? If you aren't including endogenics, I get it! No judgement here, I'm just asking for clarity and to perhaps save you some headache in the future.

Hi anon,

TLDR: you don’t have to tell me your system origin in general system questions, I will answer questions for anyone, but I will not answer questions pertaining specifically to endogenic origins as I am uneducated and don’t want to spread misinfo

Good question. I don’t hold any stance on syscourse. Often people take this to mean that i am neutral but it more so means that I don’t actually expend any energy discussing system origins nor am I at all educated on the subject, for my own sanity and to avoid the exhausting task of understanding discourse. My own system is traumagenic and we just focus on ourselves.

Therefore, I would be cautious to receive questions about endogenic systems, as I am completely (intentionally) uneducated on the subject and therefore would not be able to verify the information people reblogged with. I would not want this account to be used to spread any kind of misinformation on the subject.

Thank you for your question.

[batmanadvice]

hai batman, i was wondeing what i should do about this situation with my partner, i feel stupid for being ao upset about it but idk i feel justified? my partners phone keeps dying while were on call and ive explicitly told her multiple times it makes me upset and to stop and she hasnt, shes also now coming up with excuses and idk it just makes me split so bad and i dont know what to do :(

Hi anon,

Advice and resources below the cut

It’s important to remember that splits can occur due to any reason, or no reason at all, and it is not your fault. Although it can be hard since you are feeling or acting irrationally at this time, it’s important to ground yourself and prioritise your safety. It may be useful to take some space from your partner to avoid lashing out, but it’s important to communicate why you are taking some time to avoid a miscommunication.

When you are calm and able to communicate rationally, try and have an open discussion. I assume from your mention of splitting that you have bpd. It can be really tough to deal with feelings of abandonment over things that seem small and insignificant to others.

Try and communicate your feelings through expression of cause and emotion. Focus on how your partner’s actions make you feel, without being accusatory. For example ‘when your phone dies when we are on call, it makes me feel upset and anxious because I struggle with fears of abandonment’. Try and be honest without being resentful.

It’s important to listen to your partner. Due to the emotional response it may be a case of overthinking, and your partner may struggle to remember to put their phone on charge, or may have underestimated how much it is affecting you. Try and suggest compromises, such as calling them while their phone is charging, reminding them to check their phone battery throughout the call, or setting up reminders on their phone to show up automatically.

Be honest, be open, be rational. If your partner is caring they will empathise with your point of view and you can come to an understanding with each other. Good relationships are built on trust and a willingness to listen.

I wish you good luck.

[batmanadvice]

Hi batman! I was wondering if you had resources to help someone figure out if they might have a cluster c disorder or if it's just anxiety paired with autism that might be the cause?

Hi anon,

I don’t personally have a cluster c personality disorder, but I invite anyone to contribute their thoughts and experiences and will be including some resources to get you started. Remember to do research at your own discretion and always seek the advice of a professional if you can.

OCPD vs Autism (more info)

AVPD vs Autism (more info)

(Part two includes Autism vs OCPD differences)

[batmanadvice]

Hello! Do you have any information on the relationship between being objectum and fictosexual/romantic at all? I heard that fictosexuality/romanticism is under the objectum umbrella, is it okay to ID as ficto yet not ID as objectum, or is it a "you fall under the label whether you ID with it or not" thing?

Hi anon,

First of all, you don’t have to use or refer to yourself with any terms you don’t want to. You can use any term that you feel comfortable using.

I would say that the objectum and ficto community is very closely aligned, and to some it may be considered a type of objectum or maybe conceptum due to the fictional nature of the object of attraction. However, I think it comes down to the preference of the individual. If you feel that your ficto attraction comes under an objectum label, you would be welcome to use it, but you are under no obligation to if you feel that you do not fit it or if you just aren’t comfortable with the term.

Unfortunately there are still limited resources on both communities, but I would suggest that you talk to people in the ficto, self shipping and objectum/conceptum communities to get a more in depth idea of how they interact.

[batmanadvice]

Is it okay for a cisgendered person to coin MOGAI terms and such? I'm cis but I've always been MOGAI inclusive and friendly, and wanted to coin my own terms for people to use if it resonated with them, but I wonder if I may be intruding on a space that's meant for non-cis people.

Hi anon,

Identities exists for those who identify with them to use, and the goal of this community is to be inclusive and encourage expression. Xenogenders are not exclusive to trans people, and you are more than welcome to create and use xenogenders and other mogai labels if they appeal to you.

If you need any help with coining and flag making feel free to ask.

[batmanadvice]

do you have any advice for someone who thinks they might have NPD + another Cluster B Disorder?

Like what kinds of overlap there is and good resources to research NPD?

Hi anon,

I don’t have personal experience here, but I will be tagging some people to speak on their own experience and including some resources for you to get started.

As always, anyone is welcome to pitch in if they feel that they could be of help.

@rwuffles (sorry I couldn’t tag your main for some reason) @seapupz

(This one has a section of various resources targeted specifically towards the individuals with npd as opposed to loved ones which is rare to find)

[batmanadvice]

What's the line between preference and fetishization? If someone were to make a flag (As a non-black person) for those who prefer to date black people, would that be fetishizing?

Hi anon,

I’m going to open this up to the community to respond. I’m also going to tag @blkmogai in case any of the mods have any thoughts as this is a flag related question.

[batmanadvice]

hoi! do you have any tips for systems with trying to identify different alters or getting others to front? thank you!

Hello anon,

As always, this advice is from my personal experience and should be accompanied with further research. I am answering this on the assumption that you have determined you are a system and have a good understanding.

A good place to start is to determine the level of internal communication you have. Some systems can hear other alters very clearly, whereas others may hear very little or nothing at all. If you find that you can hear sounds, voices, and thoughts internally, attempt to communicate.

You might be able to identify thoughts as different from your own based on the different emotion they are exhibiting, or for us, although our internal communication is at a very hazy level, this can manifest as different thoughts feeling ‘slower’ or ‘faster’, sounding clearer or having a different pitch or tone to an internal monologue, or overlapping/interrupting your own thoughts.

If you find that internal communication is difficult, try acquiring a journal, or maybe a whiteboard, and place it somewhere visible and accessible to you. (If you are in an unsafe living situation, remember to place it somewhere safe. Alternatively, you could use a writing app in your phone but you want to make sure the parts can find it). You may want to include some information about the body and your life, and encourage your parts to write down information about themselves and establish a line of communication.

There are some questions you may want to ask, externally or internally.

Does your part feel safe and grounded? — and ensure that they are.

Does the part have a name or something they like to go by?

Does your part have preferred pronouns or a gender identity they know of?

Are they aware of their situation, and/or how long have they been here?

Once a line of communication is established, it may be helpful to set boundaries and rules, and ask further questions to get to know them, such as likes and dislikes, food preferences, their appearance, etc

You may be able to identify certain negative and positive fronting triggers this way, but this also may occur naturally. I would advise against trying to force switches, but by establishing some kind of consistent way of communicating this may encourage other parts to interact more, take care of the body and function comfortably with other parts.

Additional resources:

[batmanadvice]

What advice would you give someone who suspects they might have bipolar disorder? And what differences are there between bipolar 2 and depression? If you need a specific depressive disorder, say, atypical depression

Hi anon,

This is a really good question, I will try my best to keep it concise. Please remember that this comes from my personal experience, and it is best to seek help on a professional level and do your own research beforehand.

As always, anyone else is free to pitch in with their thoughts and advice.

Below is an infographic comparing the symptoms of Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. This is explained in further depth here

You may want to take into consideration the length and frequency of what you believe are manic episodes, and how disabling they are.

The main distinction between depressive disorders and bipolar are the presence of manic and hypomanic episodes. When considering if these present, ask yourself these questions.

• Instead of transitioning slowly into or out of a depressive state, does it occur suddenly?

• Do the periods of ‘heightened mood’ last days or weeks?

• Do you find yourself with an elevated heart rate, adrenaline, hyperactivity, inability to sleep and fast speech?

• Does your brain quickly move topics, do your thoughts race?

• Do these moods present with psychosis E.g delusions of grandeur, suddenly believing you can do anything

• Do you suddenly feel that you are experiencing emotions very intensely, despite having recently felt very little at all?

Remember that bipolar is more likely to present in older teens and young adults. I would advise that you ask people around you to describe how you act during what you suspect are depressive episodes and what you suspect are manic episodes. Compare these to symptoms to see if the experience is similar. If possible, try and keep track of episodes and log when you believe depressive/manic episodes have started and ended. Consider how long they are and the impact they have on your life. If possible, it would be helpful to consult with a therapist on your findings.

Further resources:

[batmanadvice]

Feel free to claim anons, by the way

[batmanadvice]

Welcome to @batmanadvice

With an influx of confessions blogs and impending drama, this is a space for anyone to ask questions, free of judgement, to receive genuine advice for myself and other members of the community.

I am an adult, you can use he/him for me and address me as Batman, Bruce or Mr Wayne.

You can ask about life advice, mogai and editing tips, disorder and identity help, kin and nonhuman topics, rentry and carrd help, etc

RULES AND INFO

TAGS: @korofessions @keroppikiss @maidenlove @ditizygirl @rabidbatboy @rwuffles @vampitsm @hyshonor @phantasverie @hanahakibf (can ignore)