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Goncharov dir. Martin Scorsese

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Hey, I see your post that you're having a rough time. It's okay if you don't want comfort from a stranger; you can ignore this if it doesn't help. But in case it does:

I am sending cool, clean water from my mind to yours. It's a strong, steady stream and it sweeps down and washes through all of the dark, tangled up places that feel ugly and broken. The water makes them quiet and still, and they don't look so bad to me. They look like cuts we're washing clean and letting bleed for a bit so they can heal. You can close yours eyes and float for a bit, if you want.

Maybe this isn't the kind of care you need right now, and that's okay. We don't know each other, so I don't know what you need. But I do know that if what you need is someone to say, hey, time to stop and breathe and rest, I'm saying it. You're working really hard, I see you and I'm proud of you for hanging on.

wow anon this is amazing -- like this is actually a really beautiful and soothing meditation. i love water imagery.

ive been trying to do some meditation with the calm app and that's going okay but i think i'm going to print this out and fold it up by my bed and reread it before going to sleep. it is exactly what i need and thank you so much for taking the time to write it to me. <3

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hey so i don’t want this be something you have to answer just something i wanted to say in light of your last post. shits hard and stupid and life sucks most of the time but i listened to your album tattoos so often i could sing along to every song, look no further was one of my favorite recent reads and your captain america song on the piano has long been one of my youtube comforts. so i am really really fucking happy that you’ve been able to continue to create despite everything and idk how to say this in a non weird way but i hope you get some respite soon as you’ve given so much to me. send good vibes and all and hoping life gives you a break!

ahh anon thank you so much. this means everything to me, ive been mostly unable to work/write/do shit for the past couple of months and i think it's been a big part of why things have felt Bleak As Hell. i love making things and im so happy they have reached you over the years. <3

one of the things i actually have been able to do recently was write a couple of songs and that feels good so maybe i will try to ease back into things by making slightly shiny versions of them. one of them is about the greek philosopher empedocles who i have become newly obsessed with. he believed all things were composed of the four elements and held together by the force of love. how can you not write a song about this dude you know?

<3

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im so bad these days again. feel motion sick, sitting perfectly still on the sofa. been so terrified about my physical health for nearly half a year now. now dealing every waking second with a kind of full-body anxiety i have never experienced in my life. it's taking a magnifying glass to feelings of insecurity and aloneness i thought i'd abandoned back on the threshold of undergrad.

every time i start feeling something for someone i remember what an insane deal it is that we're all trying to make. what an unlikely gamble. i guess it could be artistically useful that whenever i care for someone i feel like i'm sticking my neck into the mouth of the guillotine, but i wish i were happy instead.

i wish i could feel unpolluted happiness right now. i feel like i have not had a single truly restful or happy moment in weeks. everything exists under this penumbra of dread so that when i experience "happiness" it takes on the flavor of defiance, ignorance, or desperation.

the past few days i was fondly and idly considering the idea of some place where i could go and be responsible for nothing, where i would be shuttled from one harmless activity to another. you know--like a ward. you know--like the utter absence of freedom. i am thinking now of how nice it was when i went to the emergency room and they sat me down in a wheelchair and told me, relax, and pushed me down the hall for my ct scan (clean). it has been so long since i have been this bad. i know i'm in the jaws of whatever this is right now, and eventually the beast will spit me out, but it's been a while since i was so devoutly, daily convinced of my own wrongness, brokenness, and unlovability, since i thought so often, and with such conviction, that i was going to die alone and deserved it.

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also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

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Trauma dumping becoming a popularized term is just so fucking sad idk that’s one of the worst ones used casually obv there will always be people who say and ask too much from people who cant and don’t know how to handle it but it becoming some sort of pop psychology criminal offense is insane. like someone constantly oversharing is a huge sign something is very wrong you just need to understand that sometimes you’re not the one to fix it and can walk away if need be. Not talk massive shit and play victim ruining someone’s life because they told you too much about their childhood or something just keep it moving

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Anti-piracy ad from 2004

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Seeing as how the Big Beautiful Bill just passed, here's are some websites that offer discounts on medications:

- GoodRx

- SingleCare

- Pharmacy Checker

- WellRx - this one compares prices across different pharmacies

- Cost Plus - thanks to @thedamnqueenofhell for suggesting!

Stay safe, everyone. Things are about to get much, much worse in the US.

EDIT: if you're worried about doctor/therapy appointments, see if there's a sliding scale clinic near you (and ask your therapist if they offer sliding scale prices)

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trump's big beautiful bill, which just passed congress, expands ICE's budget from $9.6 billion to over $170 billion, of which $45 billion is appropriated for new detention centers. not only is this budget bigger than the budget of the federal bureau of prisons, but it's greater than the military expenditure of all countries besides america and china ($246 billion), giving more money to ICE than the russian military receives ($129 billion). it will completely remake american society

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(genuinely offended) "I trust all of my viziers"

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me: how do churches deal with gluten at communion

first response on a catholic forum:

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Alice Notley, "The Poetry of Everyday Life" (1988)

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hey everyone try this

Shut up

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you're doing amazing sweetie KPOP DEMON HUNTERS (2025)

bonus:

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if anyone feels bad that their fic might contain medical inaccuracies, be comforted to know that whatever creative liberties you take with your medical scenes can never be worse than the one I just read. where one character tries to stop the bleeding on their friend's head wound by putting a tourniquet around their neck

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your catfish friend