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For as long as nobody finds my dead body two weeks after my death in a filthy apartment with no furniture, stuck between the entryway and bathroom in such a strange way that they have to take the bathroom door off its hinges to remove my corpse from the premises, and the only reason anyone was looking for my dead ass in the first place instead of just rotting there until the neighbours would start complaining about the smell was because I owed somebody money, I don't think I need to worry about turning into my father.

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rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

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Cats, at all times:

I DO WHAT I WAAANT

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From AWWWWW to LAWWWWWL in one easy step!

"He's making waffles. American waffles on his American waffle iron."

"Is that bad?" Gwen asked.

"It's not...good," Simon said.

"It's what he makes when he's stressed, and trying not to think about something," Hugo, who had witnessed the stress waffles before, explained.

"Because you can't see the waffles while they're cooking, and if you check too soon, you'll pull them in half," Simon added.

"How does that relieve stress?"

"It doesn't," Simon and Hugo chorused. Gwen looked amused.

"It just means you have to stand next to the waffle iron the entire time and watch it, and all the anxiety goes into that, instead of whatever you were worrying about," Simon continued. "So he explained it, in any case. His parents taught him that when steam stops rising the waffle is done, so you have to watch the steam. As a wedding gift they gave him the waffle iron they cooked on when he was a child, so it's..."

"Comforting," Gwen suggested. "That's kind of sweet."

Lest you think I am prone to flights of fancy, this is the Rambler Family Anxiety Waffle Iron. This Sears-Roebuck Waffle Baker Harvest Gold is the waffle iron I learned to make waffles on. My folks have allowed me to abscond with it and despite the fact that it's older than I am, it still makes perfect waffles.

As long as you wait for the steam to stop rising.

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i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

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we are so back

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she was seriously worried that the city would get rid of the grafitti before she could take a picture with it

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Those last two though

Ah these children who always create problems for poor mothers....

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online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

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fairytales which tell you to be both kind and clever fairytales that say to be kind is to be clever and to be clever is to be kind fairytales that say the cleverest thing you can ever do is choose kindness and that cruelty or thoughtlessness are always foolish but not kindness never kindness

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Ours doesn’t headbutt, but he does body check our legs on occasion. Little dude thinks he’s a linebacker. At 17 years he’s slowing down now, though, so don’t know how much more of that we can expect.

tl;dr cats are weirdos

Several cats that I've met have decided that if they are happy, they must headbutt everything in sight with enough force to drive nails. Does Ollie also get aggressively affectionate?

Weirdly no? He lays on top of me when he’s cold or if I’m doing art too long, and he LOVES being rubbed and pet along his jaw and ears, and when I come home he will like me pick him up and snuggle him for about a minute before he’s done. Otherwise he just chills about 6 feet away doing his own thing. Not clingy at all, seems to prefer his space.

The only time I’ve ever found him to be aggressively affectionate or seek me out to be held is when he’s sick or gassy. THEN he simply MUST be held on my lap or in my arms and gently pet until he feels better. Which as I’m sure you can guess is great when he’s gassy

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

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This is Tumblr, what were you expecting?

lake wants to kill and gnash and gnash my bones I think