bbanghiitomi

[bbanghiitomi]

THIRDY IS MY FIRST

pairing: 2ndyear!communicationarts!phanni x 1styear!engineering!fem!reader

trope: forced proximity! playing cupid! first love!

synopsis: minji has a friend, and a new roommate, her friend has a really persuasive father and her roommate is an upcoming freshman who was referred by her interviewer to date their daughter.

"damn, i can't believe it." you sighed, brushing your fingers against your hair as you did; enrollments weren't supposed to be this hard, if you chose to study at a private university. it's been months since you completed the application to one of the biggest public universities in korea, well you did take multiple from private to public universities but most of them either didn't have your priority program or they didn't give you the chance to enroll in the program you liked.

so here you are, 3rd step of the enrollment, the interview. "they really changed schedules..." you muttered. you were supposed to have your interview for the program you chose the second day of next week, you filed request for your credentials in your previous high school; it was supposed to be available the same day as your interview but to who knows why, the university suddenly changed the schedule and now, your interview is moved to the first day.

great, two problems now.

your friend, minji could only chuckle sheepishly. "well, you did write them a promissory note... that should do the trick." she told you. you shuffle at your seat, worried. oh and by the way, the interview is tomorrow...

you look at her. "how is that supposed to make me feel better? none of the people i asked knew the answer, whether it'll be alright to pass the follow up credentials after the interview." you grumbled, burying your face in your palms. minji shrugged. "i don't know too... they told you to tell the admissions, right?" you nodded, groaning. "yeah..."

minji was about to speak again when her phone rang, she walked up to her table inside her room to answer the call.

"hello?" you watched her, standing by her study table, hands on her hip as she nodded. "oh yeah... you gotta stop nagging me about it though, it gets annoying." she grumbled, the "girl" (you assumed) started scolding minji unprovoked, causing you to shift awkwardly in your chair.

minji looked at you as she sent you a sheepish smile before going back to the call. "bro, chill... and besides your univ is so far from my dorm." she muttered, sighing.

after a few more nagging, the phone call ends causing minji to look at her phone with a confused face and you couldn't help but laugh at your roommate.

"is that your girlfriend?" you asked her, standing up from your seat. minji shook her head, grumbling. "hell no," she chuckled. "my friend, from the other city, she's nagging me about her hoodie she left here." she shook her head and sat on her bed. you nodded, looking at her. "alright."

minji looked up at you and smiled. "sure," she raised her fist, offering you a fist bump. "don't worry bro, i'm sure you'll do great at the interview... you're almost there." she watched as you bumped her fist, smiling back at her. "thanks." you told the older girl.

hanni's shoulders were slumped, she had this silly and goofy forced smile on her face as she listened to her dad, who was bickering non-stop. "how come you've only visited us today? have you finished your article?" he asked, hanni sighed. "i just finished the interview, it's because you kept mentioning that one student you saw in your univ's enrollment." she spoke, grumbling.

her father looked at him as if he was being accused. "can you fault me for it? i've never seen such a polite and well-mannered kid in a long time, plus i thought you were trying your best to get a date?" her father sighed, shaking his head. "you're studying communication arts and can't get a date? wow..." hanni sighed, groaning.

"it's not like that, please stop prying on my business. i'm just focusing on my studies." she threw him a smile, busying herself as she ate dinner.

hanni had heard so much about that enrollee in the university her father is working at as a professor and an adviser, well, she's from a different university but it's been nagging her.

it all started on the day of the entrance exam to the university her father works at, well, there's this one student who came hours earlier than most, and to what her father said is a student who is thoughtful, lent pencils to other takers.

honestly, hanni does not care! she is not interested and being pushed by her father to a total stranger seems no good!

her father laughed, faking a worried expression. "i'm just worried, i can't have you looking like a hopeless romantic in such a huge university." he said, making hanni scoff.

after eating, hanni entered her room, freshman events have just started in her univ, she's not a freshman anymore so, it doesn't concern her. she already volunteered as a guide to takers of her univ's entrance exam and that seems enough.

oh how she missed her hoodie, how could she leave it in minji's dorm? which was miles away...

she offered to stay at minji's dorm, but it seems like she already found a new roommate and now she's getting rid of hanni! "guess she'll have to drive all the way here..." hanni muttered to herself as she closed her closet.

after cursing yourself every night and every second you breathe, you finally had your admission paper, sitting on the waiting bench as the interviews for the degree program continues.

it shouldn't be that bad, right? you only had a few documents that were to be passed and after that, physical exams (which weren't much of a big deal).

as you watched the line get shorter, you grew more nervous, it's not like you could see the faces of the enrollees, the atmosphere wasn't even that bad, it's just that, you're too much of a sucker.

as you entered inside, you saw the familiar face of the adviser from the program you chose, he stamped and signed the papers of the students who passed the interviews. he looked up at you, he smiled and waved his hand as he laughed.

your eyebrows were raised, then you turned to the sides, behind, you see a wall and back at him as you give him a sheepish smile. you made your way in front of him, giving him your admission paper. "good morning sir." you greeted him with a small smile.

he chuckled and nodded. "good morning! congratulations, you made it this far in the enrollment." he said, skimming through the paper as he read the information. "alright, this will be really quick, i just need to know your academic background, mostly in mathematics and research. i would also ask about your social experiences and your interest in extra and curricular activities." he said.

you nodded, scratching your cheek as you looked at your admission paper. "yes, sir."

after a significant amount of time, the adviser really made the time well spent, making sure he got everything academic experiences and all other stuff and even asked you about your advance knowledge.

as you looked at his stamp, you took note of his name, particularly his last name. pham.

mr. pham chuckled. "you know, i listened to your concerns earlier about your credentials. don't worry about them, i got them covered kid and you can just follow them up by this week." he said, looking at you as he pressed his hand on your admission paper.

you chuckled sheepishly, as if mirroring his movements. "oh uhm, that's nice to hear sir." you said. mr. pham tapped his finger on the desk. "oh and — you know, the college of engineering has this current research study and it's about water systems around the city, we need more students and if you're interested, we'd appreciate if you can lend us your hand in improving our project. you can gain experience from it and i'll write you a letter for your internship." he said, pointing a finger at you as he smiled.

you cracked a small smile, wow, that's great. internships are awesome, well, being provided a recommendation letter is amazing. you didn't think you have that much of a gift to be treated like this.

"i would love to!" you answered him, looking at mr. pham as he nodded. "yeah, i know. you can join the academic organization and then the environment and social one, that's where we focus on." he said, writing his email on a piece of paper. "this is the email i use studying doctorate, you can email me here if you need academic advice or if you just want to meet my beautiful daughter — just kidding." he laughed, he wasn't kidding but he had to take a few words back. you took the piece of paper, this type of treatment meant that mr. pham saw a potential in her past just being a student at a top university in korea, the potential to be big in the industry, the research and academics world —

and maybe the potential to be his daughter's date or future girlfriend...

but that's something for next time.

on the way home, you felt really giddy and even as you entered inside the dorm, minji didn't fail to notice your smile. "aye, what's up?" she said, walking in with the bowl of cereal in her hands.

you sat on the chair, smiling. "nothing, the interview went well and i got asked to join a big research project for the university." you answered minji, looking up at the older girl.

"that's cool! i was hoping it was you meeting a new friend." you sighed as she finished speaking. "friends can wait." you answered. she laughed. "speaking of friends, i gotta go to hanni's, give the hoodie back."

you turn to her direction. "you sure she's not a girlfriend to you?" you asked, raising an eyebrow, she stared at you before snickering. "she's yours." she shook her head as she left.

you thought about what she said, confused — before shaking the thought away and doing what you were doing.

"okay, why did you call me here?" hanni asked her dad as they walked around the enterprise building her father works outside being a prof and studying. mr. pham looked at hanni. "you said you were asked to write about the process of internship right? so i took you here to see my students who are currently in an internship." he said.

hanni nodded. "yeah, but why so sudden? you said you were busy and suddenly you called me up here?" she asked, holding her ipad. mr. pham chuckled. "no, no, i wasn't sure if i could come so i said i was busy, but i did because i also had a student who wanted to check this building out." he explained.

hanni looked at her father. "so you didn't come for the interns?" she asked, raising her brow. "no, they're big enough okay? this new student, i recruited her to take part in my project for the univ and i wanted her to see the building as a thanks." he said.

on the other hand — you rushed inside, after being invited by mr. pham to take a look at the company, you just couldn't find it in yourself to reject the offer. it might not be a big one but he made his first ever project that landed him a spot to a good university for his doctorate and masters in that company.

"sir!" you shouted, walking towards them as you saw him standing beside a girl, who is about the average height. mr. pham waved his hand. "oh, you're here." he said, smiling at you. hanni looked at you, eyes taking in your appearance, well — you looked like a student, that's it — well, aside from the fact that you looked really really nice.

"yeah, i don't know if i got here on time." you chuckled sheepishly, hanni walked towards her father. "are we gonna go around and do the things we're supposed to do?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

you looked at her, lips open before taking a deep breath and nodding. "yeah, i can't wait to see the whole place!" you said, almost really enthusiastic.

mr. pham looked at you and chuckled, rolling the sleeves of his work attire. "before that, i'd really love to introduce you to my daughter." he said, placing a hand on hanni's shoulder. "this is hanni, 2nd year in communication arts and hanni this is my new excellent student, y/n — she ranked 3rd in my interview so i would like to call her thirdy." he said, very proud of himself as he grinned widely.

you stared at hanni, blinking. hanni, as in hanni minji's friend.

hanni sighed, knowing a lot about you as she extended her hand. "hi, thirdy. sorry for my dad." she said, giving you a sweet smile, at least she tried even if it looked like she was being pulled by the corny line from her father. you looked at her hand (starstrucked) and smiled, reaching for it and shaking her — soft, delicate — hand.

"yeah, nice to meet you too. mr. pham is awesome." you answered, as if breathless.

hanni smiled at you, pulling her hand back and she doesn't know why, but a part of her felt relieved and nervous at the same time. you stare at her, longer than intended before you just had that really big smile on your face.

walking around the company was alright, you got what you expected and learned a lot of stuff but if you were asked, the highlight of the day has to be talking to your adviser's daughter, seeing the way she moves, the way she laughs, talks, hearing her angelic voice — it was sickening honestly.

you knew from the moment you saw her that it was over for you.

minji and mr. pham did not warn you, at all.

her father had to leave for a moment, do his job and you were left with hanni who seems to be having a good time with your conversation together.

"part-timing at an office is fun, until an old man ask you about his maiden name." you said, snickering and watching her laugh. she looked you, shaking her head. she didn't know what to say honestly, you had interesting stories to tell, things to talk about but she liked your gentle voice the most.

it was then quiet, for some reason. you looked at hanni, a small awkward smile on your face, before looking away at the sun setting. hanni looked at the sunset too, before looking at you — she smiled.

"hey, you don't know it but — my father thinks you're cool." she said, looking at you. you turn your head first, then looked at her, and raised your eyebrows. "what?" you asked.

she giggled. "i said, dad thinks you're cool and he wants me to go out with you." she said, raising her eyebrows.

you chuckle sheepishly, shrugging. "oh wow... don't mind him, it's probably a joke." you said.

hanni blinked, shrugging. "i wouldn't mind." she muttered, looking down. you stared at her, raising your eyebrows. "you — what?"

hanni felt her cheeks get warmer as she looked away. "uhm, nevermind —" but as she felt the silence, she sighed. "i mean — i get it, i know why he thinks you're cool." she clarified.

you looked at hanni, feeling your face get hotter every second. "you're cooler." you muttered and it made her laugh.

you stared at her, pursing your lips as you looked around and shifting your gaze back at her, focusing your mind at one girl. "uhm, i..." you gritted your teeth as you scratched the back of your head at a failed attempt.

hanni looked at you, seeing your expression. "for someone so good at what she does, i didn't think you'd be a nervous mess." she said, looking at you with a mischievous smile. you sighed, slumping your shoulders. "of course, there are things i've never done before." you answered, looking at her.

hanni hummed, her features soft against the setting sun. "and when will you try?" she asked, you took a deep breath.

"maybe now?" you said, unsure but brave enough to admit.

"now?" she asked.

"now." you answered.

"how?" she asked, furrowing her brows.

"like — uh," you blinked.

"yeah?"

"uh..."

you bit your bottom, blinking. she listened, waiting so patiently. she needed to hear it from you.

you furrowed your brows, hand on your hip. "uh, you know..." you muttered.

"i know... what?"

"the thing..."

"uh-huh..."

you looked at her, cheeks red. "man, this is hard." you said, chuckling sheepishly as sweat forms your forehead.

hanni smiled. "you can do it." she said.

you stared at her, like a pathetic little boy. "hanni —"

hanni smiled, raising her eyebrows, feeling her reach a hand on yours. "yes?"

you sighed, relaxing your body.

"god, all i had to say is if i can ask you out on a date." you muttered, looking down.

she smiled. "of course, why not?" she said, giggling. you stared on the ground, disappointed until you managed to absorb her words.

you looked up. "w-wait what?" you asked.

she squeezed your cheeks. "i said yes dummy." she said.

you looked at her, laughing. "oh my god..." you muttered.

the two of you laughed as the sun finally sets. mr. pham watched from a far, snickering to himself watching his daughter with you.

"i had fun." he muttered to himself before stretching and leaving the spot.

minji sighed, her arms crossed on her chest as she chuckled. "what a goofball." she muttered before following mr. pham.

ෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠ෆ

extra: hi y'all :DD

[bbanghiitomi]

fave version of this song

I LOVE THIS MOVIE DEARLY

[bbanghiitomi]

MAGIC

pairing: photographer!kminji x model!designer!fem!reader

trope: enemies to lover! forced proximity! grump and sunshine! opposites attract! matchmaking!

synopsis: kim minji, an aspiring international photographer tries to convince a growing designer to feature in her pictorial for an international magazine. minji offers her a bet to make her a bride but in the process failed to keep her promise and her own principle.

"i hate - hate that idiot!" y/n threw the photo album of her client's recent photoshoot for their wedding as soon as she sees an awkward picture taken of her by non other than kim minji herself. y/n gritted her teeth in anger as her friend looked at her and laughed nervously. y/n stood up and was then followed by her friend around her house. "o-oh y/n! come on, calm down!" hanni told her friend as she stormed outside.

y/n looked at her friend and stomped. "calm down!? that prick has been doing this to me for almost so long!" y/n heard hanni sigh. "i mean, there must be something else we can do other than suing her." hanni spoke, following y/n as the girl turned to hanni with a frown. "tell me exactly what," y/n looked at hanni before she groaned and shook her head as she gripped her hair. "i hate her! i'll tell my mom about her stupid ass!"

hanni ran up to her and pulled her hands, looking at her friend with a smile. "you know what your mom would say right?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at her friend. y/n sighed as she rolled her eyes. "that minji is funny and nice?" hanni nodded. "exactly! you know they're besties and all..." hanni laughed as she sat on the couch, she looked at her friend as y/n stomped her feet. "and besides, everyone makes sure to get you two as a package, event planner and the cameraman." hanni's remarked made y/n more even frustrated that she's basically stuck with that jerk until the day she dies; well unless someone takes her away from minji.

which at this point, seems impossible.

minji huffed as she picked up the pictures she took after the wedding of y/n's client, frustration wells inside her as she tried to convince her cousin to let her pictures be shown to the magazine yunjin is working at. "how come you haven't accepted none of the pictures i gave you? isn't your magazine about life? there? pictures from wedding ceremonies." minji sighed as she spoke, yunjin walked towards minji inside the house danielle and minji shared together.

"these pictures are great minji, that's what makes you better than most photographers nowadays." yunjin picked up one photo from the pile. "like this, it's great." she placed it back down again.

"but the thing is, we've featured a wedding ceremony from last year. if we do again people might thing it's repetitive." yunjin explained, minji shook her head as she sighed.

danielle made her way downstairs with a bunch of newly printed pictures too, she took one step and slipped. "dani!" minji shouted as she looked up at the girl who fell on her butt on the staircase. "are you okay?" yunjin asked, danielle laughed sheepishly. "yeah, it kind of hurts." she muttered.

yunjin helped pick up the fallen pictures on the floor, she picked up one particular frame of y/n, an awkward picture of her in the wedding of her own client. "who is this? she looks familiar." yunjin asked.

minji looked at her cousin and spoke. "kang y/n, she's the designer of the wedding i worked at." she answered, yunjin smiled brightly as she showed minji the picture. "you know, i can get you in the magazine if you get me in contact with her. this girl is rising from her funky designs and interesting works." yunjin stated, minji sighed as she nodded.

minji shook her head as she chuckled. "funky? you mean weird?" she laughed, yunjin looked at minji as she shrugged. "that's not what i meant, i saw some of her works, didn't she work for her sister's debut party?" yunjin spoke, minji stood and looked at her cousin. "...yeah."

yujin smiled and blushed, scratching the back of her head. "you know... maybe you can get a feature in your magazine, just as long as it's about her." she said, minji hesitated for a bit before she spoke.

"if i do, i'll get a photoshoot with her and feature it on your magazine, correct?" minji raised her eyebrows and yunjin smiled. "of course." she said.

y/n brought her book down, sighing after hours of working on a gown design for another wedding. how many designs has she made for other people's wedding? y/n couldn't even count it, it's ironic how most of her works involved couples, but she's never been in a relationship in her whole life.

at the age of 20, y/n seems to struggle being able to find the one for her. y/n believes in love, the magic of it, she saw it on her parents, how her mother loved her father; she promised herself she'll experience that kind of love but it seems quite hard to achieve now.

while pondering about love and the complexity of it, y/n sees minji's face from outside her shop, she furrowed her brows at the sight of her face. minji entered inside the shop with a huge smile and y/n did not forget to scowl at minji. "what are you doing here?" she asked, standing up and crossing her arms. minji laughed and offered a tray of freshly made mac n' cheese. "here, i just wanted to visit." minji smiled, y/n scowled at her as she watched minji place the tray on her table.

"spit it out, you need something right?" she said, minji laughed sheepishly as she scratched the back of her head. "ah, actually... i need your help." she awkwardly flashed y/n a strained smile.

"no." y/n answered. danielle entered the office and took the mac n' cheese to the kitchen of the shop while the two were busy bickering.

"i haven't even told you the details yet," minji sighed as she spoke, slumping her shoulders. "no need, i won't say yes anyway." y/n said, the air inside the shop turned intense as minji rolled her eyes and followed y/n who walked further the shop and inside her office. "y/n i'm serious, for me this is a once in a lifetime offer." minji said, y/n looked at minji and raised an eyebrow at her. "well for me it isn't." she simply said as she entered inside the office.

minji watched as y/n walked behind her desk before she spoke. "i'll find you a date, that's what you need right? a date, a boyfriend or girlfriend. if i find the perfect match, you'll let me take you to the pictorial." minji said, y/n looked at her in disbelief at such a crazy proposal. y/n gritted her teeth as she squinted her eyes at minji.

"don't piss me off minji. i don't need your help." she said, minji whined as she pouted. "come on! consider this as help to me and for you!" minji begged as she followed y/n around, y/n looked behind as she walked around her desk, noticing minji tailing her behind. y/n groaned. "oh stop it! why would i even think of helping you?" she yelled, rolling her eyes.

hanni entered the office as she watched the two walking around the office. "uh, guys?" she asked, y/n stomped as she faced minji with a glare. "you, stop this nonsense already." y/n walked outside her office with minji following her behind. "i won't stop till you say yes." minji persisted as they exited the store, with minji gaining perseverance to follow y/n.

the crowd outside was like the usual, civilians did what they did while minji and y/n continued their chase.

as they walked around the street, people looked at them, some were curious and others were bothered by the bickering duo. "no!" y/n yelled. "help! help!" minji shouted, y/n greeted her teeth as she looked at minji. "shut up!" she yelled as people passed the street with bustling vehicles.

minji sighed and slumped her shoulders. "consider this as your help to me, after this i'll leave you alone." as she spoke, there was silence only between them that followed. y/n stopped with her tracks as she sighed, rolling her eyes. she turned to minji with a frown. "how am i supposed to care and believe that you'll stop making my life a living hell?" she spoke, minji sighed as she scratched her nape.

"because i need this opportunity to reach the international field... and i know i've been a huge asshole to you but listen, i am not lying when i tell you this will be the last time..." minji looked at minji as the crowd slowly disappears, it's just the two of them now.

"fine. after i find a lover, you get that pictorial and then leave." y/n declared, minji looked away as she sighed in defeat, nodding meekly. "yeah, sure." she muttered.

minji held her phone against her ears as she tried to reach y/n with a phone call, she waited as the other line continued to ring. "where the hell is she?" she muttered, today is supposed to be the day that minji introduces the first candidate as y/n's lover; future lover to be exact.

y/n answered, she grumbled as she held the phone between her shoulder and chin. "yeah? what's up minji?" she asked, minji scoffed as she entered inside a stationery shop. "what do you mean what's up? your first date is scheduled later and we're supposed to meet each other today, right?" she asked, clarifying the agreement they made. y/n sighed as she wrote down the lists of what her client wanted on their daughter's birthday.

"oh i forgot about that, can we postpone in today? later i'll be coming to the date, i promise." she muttered, smiling at her client.

minji looked at her phone and whispered "what?" under her breath, before bringing her phone close to her ear again. "listen, if you want to find a lover, manage your time; it's important. learn how to manage your time to accommodate your date, it's unfair." she scolded y/n only to receive a scoff. "i don't want to hear your nonsense, besides, you're not my date, and i know what to do." y/n answered, minji took a deep breath as she shook her head and sighed.

as soon as the clock strikes 8pm, minji tapped her shoes looking around outside the restaurant, waiting for you. danielle looked at your date inside the venue. "ah, can you wait for a little? you know y/n is a very busy woman." she laughed sheepishly, the date nodded and smiled at danielle. "it's alright." he said as danielle excused herself and walked over to minji.

the street lamps looked alive outside, the light on top of minji continued to blink as she grumbled. "don't you know where she is?" danielle asked, minji sighed and shook her head. "i wish i knew." she muttered.

she leaned back on the wall, groaning in annoyance. "why does she have to take so long?" minji muttered, danielle sighed. "i told you this would be a bad idea." she told minji who only shook her head.

as she was about to reply, minji saw y/n walking inside the restaurant, and before she could walk up to her, danielle pulled minji's wrist. "minji, let her be. she got this." she said, minji shifted her eyes at danielle and nodded reluctantly.

the next day, minji fixed her shirt as she stared at herself on the mirror, danielle walked down the stairs of their shared apartment. "you going out again?" she asked, minji looked at danielle though the reflection of the mirror and nodded before turning around to her. "yes, i need to ask how the date went."

danielle shrugged and walked over to minji. "are you sure? i think we should really just give this up." she said, minji looked at her in disbelief. "what? this is like a one shot to success... if i don't get this then i don't have another opportunity again." she sighed and shook her head.

danielle nodded. "but i think, forcing y/n to go on multiple dates is just hard. we do it in such a short interval too... of course she won't find the one she truly likes." minji grumbled and rolled her eyes. "it's cause she has such a high standard." minji muttered walking over to their living room where danielle followed her.

"minji, you can't blame her. you've seen her mother right? she grew up in such a loving home, of course she wants to be with someone she'll love." minji slumped down the couch as she stared at the tv. "i just don't get it." minji muttered.

danielle stared at her friend and sighed. "i know, i know. i understand why, also we're running out of time too..." danielle is growing worried about how much time minji is giving for the dates, it's almost like she couldn't prioritize their business. "it's cause no one wants to date her." minji grumbled under her breath.

"well, would you?" danielle asked. minji looked at danielle as she thought of an answer before pouting and shaking her head. "of course not, i don't have time for that." she answered causing danielle to laugh. "it's cause she's so uptight, right? always busy, and a little crazy... but i think it's cause you're afraid of committing." danielle chuckled. "all of the other people who refused to date her too, because they know y/n is serious." danielle added as minji denied with a shake of her head.

the doors of their apartment opened to yunjin entering inside, she excused herself as she closed the door. minji stood up and walked over to her. "yunjin! you're back." she walked over to her cousin and her cousin smiled back at her. "so how is it?' yunjin asked, minji froze on the spot as she chuckled. "ow yeah, i still haven't gotten her to say yes." she buried her hands on her pockets as she answered.

yunjin shook her head and sighed. "what will we do? the deadline's this week." she said, minji grumbled as danielle watched behind her. "i don't know too." minji sighed and walked around scratching the back of her head. "what's so hard about asking her though?" yunjin asked, following minji with her eyes.

"ah, i made a promise with her but it's taking too long..." minji turned her back to both yunjin and danielle as they shared a look and danielle smiled meekly at yunjin. "what's the problem? can't we ask her together?" yunjin proposed, minji turned to her and looked at her cousin. "you will?" she asked.

minji was hesitant, she knew her cousin had a liking for y/n and it was obvious, she never told yunjin about her deal with y/n and now she regret not saying so. there was no reason for her to be afraid about what might develop, but why was she unsure?

danielle spoke even before minji did. "of course why not? y/n might be smitten over you and say yes!" yunjin smiled and chuckled, a clear blush present on her face.

"you think so?" she asked, minji swallowed and nodded. "probably..." she muttered.

"what do you want to talk about now you monkey!?" y/n stomped inside the living room of her house as minji followed, she's tired of her bullshit, and so is minji. after a argument regarding y/n's lack of interest with her dates and minji's lack of consideration, it led them inside here.

"listen here! i'm tired of your shit! can't you just listen to me for once?" minji shouted as y/n turned to her with a glare. "enough with this deal! i can't stand having to force myself go on dates with men and women you choose out of a bunch of idiots!" y/n yelled, minji took a deep breath as she pushed y/n on the couch. "what the hell!?" she yelled.

minji pointed at her as y/n stood up. "shut up!" she pushed y/n on the couch. "shut up! i said shut up!" she yelled with full force as y/n looked up at her and closed her mouth. "you're such a spoiled brat!" minji yelled, y/n looked up at her as she leaned on the couch. "what did you just say?" she asked in disbelief. minji swung her arm as she grumbled. "i said you're a spoiled brat! almost 30 dates later and still nothing! and you wonder why no one wants to be with you!?" minji yelled, y/n sniffled as she looked up at minji.

"aren't you doing this for your career's sake? i only said yes so you'd leave me alone you jerk!" minji turned around and cursed her her breath. "today's the deadline! i'm not getting anything!" she yelled, y/n looked at her and scoffed. "as if that's my fault." she rolled her eyes.

"how are we supposed to do something for ourselves? how am i supposed to help you? you hate me and don't listen! you're so crazy and you want to do things your way! it takes two to tango you know!?" minji rubbed her forehead. y/n sobbed as she wiped her tears. "i know, i'm unlovable." minji scoffed.

"i never said that, you just don't know how to behave." minji muttered, she walked over to the doorway and leaned on the border. "you need to listen, we can work things out..." she added, y/n stood up and walked over beside minji. "i'm behaved, i'll listen to you now." she muttered, minji looked at her and stared at her face.

it's ridiculous, she knew how much y/n wanted to feel loved, how ready she is. whenever she looked at y/n, it feels weird.

minji turned around to look at y/n, her round eyes baring a kind of vulnerability in them at that moment, it felt like she was betting on something she wouldn't likely win, and throwing away something that meant a lot.

"it's not like you're unlovable, it's just that you're stubborn." minji pushed herself off the door frame, looking at y/n. "plus, i just don't get it." she muttered, y/n stared at minji and tilted her head. "what do you mean you don't get it?" she asked the tall girl. minji scoffed, scratching the back of her head.

"you know, why you feel so pressured to fall in love. we're both wrong, we can't force things and except something to grow in a short amount of time." minji sighed as she crossed her arms, shifting her eyes to the floor. "you have it all, you're smart, pretty, artistic, kind, you even have the ideal family." minji said, chuckling.

y/n looked at minji as her lips tugged in a small smile. "but every guy you've approached didn't like me, right?" minji scoffed. "they're just stupid." minji said as she looked at y/n. "none of them wants to take things seriously like you do..."

y/n shrugged as she stood beside minji, the raven-haired one looked at y/n, there was a long pause between them until y/n spoke.

"you? you've never thought of being in a serious relationship?"

minji chuckled. "hell no," she scoffed playfully. "not my thing." y/n sent her a glare. "so you're not different huh?"

minji smiled at y/n, her eyebrows relaxing. "i don't want to settle down, those guys and me are different - i have valid reasons." she spoke. "unlike them, i have goals. i don't fool around with strangers. i don't give them time, i want to be successful and that's the only thing i want." minji shook her head as she chuckled.

y/n looked at her, a small, fond smile plastered upon her face. "i wonder why, it didn't really make sense to me." she muttered, minji looked at her as she shrugged. "i just feel like it's gonna take away my freedom," she paused, looking away. "every couple i know, who married each other - guess what? divorced. if not divorced, depressed, forcing themselves to stay together, and for what? their kids? marrying someone is like, saying goodbye to the great things and saying hello to your biggest fears ever." she laughed under her breath.

y/n watched as minji blinked. "i always dreamt of marrying someone and having a relationship like my parents had." y/n muttered. "i mean, i haven't lost hope yet." she added. minji looked at y/n, immediately shifting her gaze away when she stared for too long.

"my parents? separated. mom's away with a new boyfriend, dad is with his new family." minji spoke. y/n looked at her face, there's a long pause again as they indulged themselves to the tranquil of the gentle evening.

minji looked at y/n, they stared at each other as minji smiled. "maybe, destiny will send you someone." minji said.

"yunjin, my friend. she's a creative of a magazine, you know the asian lifestyle magazine. it's pretty popular." minji said, patting yunjin's shoulder. y/n smiled, taking a deep breath as she stretched her hand out. "yunjin, this is y/n. she's a designer, she owns that shop that plans events and designs them." yunjin and minji had agreed to keep the deal they promised, they promised not to tell y/n about it. yunjin gave y/n a smile, reaching for her hand. "nice to meet you." yunjin said, y/n kept her smile. "same, here."

y/n's energetic aunts call for yunjin, inviting her for a quick lunch. although they have always thought that minji will eventually be with their niece, they hadn't expected yunjin to come along.

minji looked at y/n as the latter watched yunjin with her aunts, she shifted her eyes to where they were. "they're cool with her." minji muttered, y/n chuckled, looking over to minji. "you're still their favorite though." minji looked at y/n and laughed. "of course, even your mom does."

y/n and minji stared at each other before minji immediately broke the eye contact as soon as yunjin called for y/n. "what?" y/n asked, she laughed and ran over to her aunts and yunjin.

y/n's mom stood behind minji, beside danielle who looked at y/n's mom. "what do i do if i want something and like i really want it bad?" danielle asked. the older woman spoke. "then i do something to have it,"

danielle sighed. "what if i don't know if i want it? and i haven't realize that i want it? then someone else also wants it?" she asked, minji turned to look at them. "then that means you're stupid." y/n's mom answered, before making an eye contact with minji who looked away. "right, that makes me stupid." she said.

"you're running out of time." the older and wiser woman spoke, as if delivering the message to minji. "what?" the raven-haired girl asked. "i meant, you're supposed to deliver photos to your house, right?" minji stood frozen, she looked behind as danielle ran away.

"hey! you! come back!" minji shouted before running to catch danielle.

that was minji's mistake, the magazine offer was right in her hands, but it felt unfulfilling. she stood by the gate of y/n's house waiting for her. the past few weeks felt like torture, y/n was straying farther every second she spends with yunjin, it was her mistake.

the latest news about them is that, they're really getting very close, y/n mentioned once that if she and yunjin actually agreed on settling things together, they might fly to the states. only a few weeks left too... minji chucked out a small piece of rock with her shoes, standing outside at night waiting for y/n to arrive, from yunjin's car.

as minji sees yunjin's car from afar, she stayed on the same corner, waiting for y/n.

minji watched as y/n stepped out of the car, minji's lips bends over to a small frown as she noticed y/n stepping out, alone. yunjin usually opened the door for her or at least would walk her towards her place, y/n rushed to the gate of her house almost ignoring minji's existence.

"y/n, what's wrong?" she asked, y/n looked up at minji. there were stains of tears on her face, her eyes swollen as she looked at minji and felt like breaking down in tears again. "what's wrong?" y/n asked in disbelief, she laughed sarcastically as she furrowed her brows. "are you seriously asking me that?"

minji blinked, putting her hands on her hips as she shook her head. "i don't... no, i don't understand what you mean." she said, minji looked around as she shrugged. "wait, can we just be clear for a moment? did something bad happen? why are you crying?"

y/n looked at minji and clenched her fist, she threw a hit on minji's shoulder, causing the raven-haired girl to hiss. "you!" y/n pointed at minji. "you promised that if you ever find me a date, i'll appear in your pictorial and you'll leave me alone..." y/n paused, aggressively pointing at her. "and i agreed to that, right?"

minji nodded. "you did."

y/n glared at her. "tell me, why you never told me that yunjin and you had a deal." minji sighed as she looked away. y/n pushed minji with both hands. "you two fooled me?! you didn't even tell me that she's your cousin and you're trying to get a feature in her magazine by using me?"

y/n stormed inside her house, slamming the door open as hanni and haerin heard the commotion downstairs and walked to see what was happening in the living room from the stairs.

"y/n, yunjin likes you a lot! we just had an agreement, i didn't think it would be that serious!" minji entered, standing behind y/n. y/n turned around to look at minji, eyes tearing up. "of course you wouldn't think so, you made me believe that it was genuine. i thought the deal was over? i thought you were over the deadline. i thought you actually wanted me to be with someone who you genuinely see fit with me."

minji's shoulders slumped, she did mention the deadline.

y/n sobbed. "you introduced me to yunjin because it was the most convenient choice..." minji took a few steps back as the whole room grew silent.

"but i thought you'd settle with her?" minji looked away, swinging her arms. "if you love her then why immediately throw everything away?" she asked. y/n turned her back to minji, sighing.

minji placed her hands on her sides. "you know what? i'm sorry for hiding the truth. but i swear, i was telling the truth when i said it was indeed the deadline that yunjin gave me, we talked again and she offered that if i set you two up she'll give me another chance. i'm sorry okay? it's all my fault."

y/n shook her head, wiping her tears. "don't ask me anything about yunjin, this isn't about her."

minji huffed, her thick eyebrows furrowed as she puffed her cheeks. "look, it's a deal between us. i'm sure it's not over yet, right? i'll get rid of that magazine..." minji's voice softened as she finished her words.

"are you two still together?" she asked.

y/n shook her head looking at minji. "it's over. i wouldn't want to stay, it wasn't for me."

"that fast?" minji asked, a sense of dread, feeling guilty and sad over her cousin washed over her and maybe a sense of hope, it wasn't over yet at least for her.

y/n glared at minji. "i don't want to talk about it." minji shrugged. "then what do you want to talk about?" she asked, y/n took a deep breath.

"us, about us." she said. minji blinked her eyes, looking down.

"just when i was slowly warming up to you? you suddenly let me down like that?" y/n asked, walking over to minji. "you made me feel like for a moment, i mattered and i was loved. i thought you understand me?" minji listened, rubbing her cheek.

"i do, i was just selfish. i thought it was a good idea, it was a win for me, you, yunjin. i thought it was fair." minji scratched the back of her head as she spoke sheepishly.

y/n shook her head. "it's not about what i gain, it's not about whoever that person is. to me, i care about the sentiments and the promises. minji, i thought it meant something. that night?"

hanni looked at haerin with wide eyes as they listened from the stairs.

"i know... i was genuine, that night yes... however, i was just tempted at the idea of the opportunity in front of me." minji muttered.

"i know that, didn't you tell me that? i thought you sharing those feelings of yours meant that we were getting closer, that it's something deep." y/n expressed her feelings with words that conveyed how frustrated she was, she didn't understand the gravity of her feelings for minji, how much minji meant to her.

"was i just another bridge to that success? didn't you want to at least share that with me too?" y/n asked.

minji shook her head, pacing around the living room. "i wanted you to be happy, and when i said i'd find you a lover i meant that. did yunjin not love you?" minji turned to y/n. "i'm not lying when i said i genuinely wanted it to be fair for us..."

y/n and minji stared at each other, thousands of unsaid feelings rumbling inside their heart.

"fair? i never wanted to lead yunjin like that... it felt nice for a while, but when you kept talking about how much it would be a waste to not give her a chance... have you ever considered if i wanted to give her a chance?" as y/n spoke, minji looked down.

it was out of spite, she guessed... it was hard to decide, she had her own priorities and she made promises, maybe if she had done it earlier before she grew to have feelings for y/n, it would've been easier to look back. minji forced yunjin towards y/n out of fear she might fall until it's too late, she wanted to give her a genuine lover, it seemed like an act out of selfishness...

minji understood how hurt y/n might have been when she saw it like that.

"i didn't know... did you like her?" minji asked, her tone a bit awkward. y/n looked at her. "i did." y/n muttered.

"but i never said i loved her," y/n paused sighing. "i know, i agreed to settle in states with her, i wanted to make my aunts proud because they were so happy with yunjin... but it's just not what i want." y/n looked away.

minji stared at y/n, her round eyes watching the sadness and longing in her eyes. "as the days passed by, i grew even more hesitant, i felt bad... yunjin is a great person, maybe tonight destiny gave me a sign to look back." minji nodded.

"i should've asked you first..." minji placed her hand on her chest as she tried to stop the rapid beating of her heart only to receive a glare from y/n. minji chuckled sheepishly as she looked at y/n. "i was waiting for you outside, i couldn't hold it back anymore..." minji muttered.

y/n looked at her and shrugged. "what did you want to talk about?" minji sighed. "i was quite afraid that you'll really leave and stay at the states with yunjin... i already got her offer, but it didn't feel right so i wanted to see you." minji looked away, taking deep breaths. "i know you think i was not genuine, about the things we shared... but i promise you that i was just afraid, that's why i couldn't bare telling you that i could settle down with someone... with you." minji continued. "i know it seemed like i forced you to be with her, it's only because i didn't want to disappoint you."

y/n looked at minji, pushing back strands of her hair behind her ear. "i don't know... i just don't understand why i couldn't love her back." she muttered.

none of them realized the growing bond between them, beyond their playful banters, minji grew onto y/n. what they shared mattered to y/n, there's something so genuine about how long it took them to warm up to each other.

minji smiled, laughing. "about that..." minji trailed, scratching her chin. "i think i'm starting to love you." she muttered.

y/n looked at her, surprised. haerin immediately shushed hanni up as the girl gasped.

"like, i was mad that you couldn't find the right person. during that time where we were looking for your dates, we grew closer... i didn't realized i was dreaming of you every night, like i said, i was just afraid i'd sabotage myself out of it." minji said. "maybe until, i found myself laughing and smiling whenever you cross my mind... i didn't know what it meant till i just snapped out of it."

y/n smiled, looking away. "mhm," she giggled. "you think i forgot about your commitment issues?"

minji smiled as she laughed, taking a closer step towards y/n. "of course, about that... will you get mad if i told you that... i will marry you?" hanni and haerin watched from the stairs as y/n gave minji a look of skepticism.

"what are you on about?" she asked. minji looked down, she scratched the back of her head. "i don't want you to slip away from me again. you know what i mean?" minji smiled fondly at her, digging her hand on her pocket to pull out a necklace.

"i didn't bring a ring, i never thought i'd have the chance to say this." she muttered.

"why would you marry me?" y/n asked, looking at minji who was holding the necklace in hand. "because why not? i know this sounds so out of pocket, we've known each other for a long time... i've known you since forever. why would i not marry you when i spent almost half of my life annoying you?" minji answered, she gripped the necklace while she spoke.

y/n laughed sarcastically. "yeah? you always pissed me off and you want to marry me?" she asked.

"i stayed because i'm happy when i'm with you." minji muttered, she looked down in resignation. "i'm sorry..."

"if you love me then you shouldn't be sorry." y/n grumbled, minji looked at her and smiled. "i do love you." she muttered. "and that's why i'm gonna marry you if only you would say yes..."

y/n stared at minji, trying not to burst into tears as she looked at minji and glared at her, she pouted her lips looking at the necklace in minji's hand.

"after everything?" she scoffed, keeping the pout on her lips as minji raised her eyebrows at her, already memorized her like a book.

it's always like these kinds of moments between them that made her really wish she knew earlier, it had always been a thing in their family that now she's twenty, she can't wait another five years until the "curse" in their family hits her. y/n knew how she genuinely believed it when her aunts, who have been single and never married, told her about the family curse, she'd been desperate to find the one ever since.

minji's so called "freedom" of being single had always been something she treasured, seeing relationships as settle backs from achieving her goals; ironic how both of their situations led them to realize things from each other.

y/n looked at minji once again, they stared at each other before y/n rushed to embrace her and wrap her arms around minji who laughed and brought her lips close to y/n's ear to whisper. "i love you." before wrapping her own arms around y/n's waist.

hanni cheered as she screamed, causing haerin to roll her eyes playfully and laughed as they witnessed the scene beneath them. it was just like magic, something predictable for the audience but at the same time it was unexpected for the pair.

[bbanghiitomi]

borrowed time reminds me of cueshé

OF COURSEEEE

i love that song... :'(((

[bbanghiitomi]

BORROWED TIME

pairing: idol!khaerin x nj6thmem!fem!reader

trope: first love! angst with comfort! eventual fluff!

haerin sighed for the thousandth time, she realized just how tiring it was to keep sighing - ridiculous, haerin thought as she stared at herself at the mirror. how weird has this day been? she doesn't know, it's always been weird ever since y/n came back from the hospital, the doctors said she was fine, the blow she got on her head when she had an accident during one of their intensive trainings didn't physically damage her. to haerin, it was kind of hard to believe, how could such a huge blow not do any damage? it had to hurt so much, right?

oh well, y/n's charts that her physician provided didn't seem to show any anomalies...

she told herself not to think too much about it, but that's what haerin does best. she can't stop thinking about y/n, she stayed at the hospital for almost 3 months, hell, it was the worst accident that ever happened to their group; haerin remembered how terrible that night was, everyone was crying and worried sick, y/n fell on the floor and hit her head pretty hard on the ground.

but she survived, haerin hated to say this but it was even a miracle y/n survived, the blow was so hard that it could have shaken her brain and damaged it but her charts didn't show any problem in her brain.

till now, she seemed fine.

maybe she knew y/n more than anyone else but, it doesn't stop bothering her, even tonight.

"excuse me." y/n's voice echoed inside the bathroom, she walked her way towards the sink and stood beside haerin to brush her teeth, haerin stared at the girl and watched as the girl brushed her teeth.

"hey, today's the start of our filming... there's nothing wrong that can happen, right?" this has been occurring in the past few weeks since y/n came back from the hospital, haerin was glad for her to be back but it felt different.

y/n can't seem to recognize haerin's voice, she was functioning like an idol, she can dance to beat, hit the right notes, and act like her usual self but the least y/n thing to do is not respond immediately to what haerin was telling her, it felt weird.

y/n turned around to look at haerin and gave her a soft smile. "don't worry." just like that, haerin doesn't understand the sudden shift in her responses, she's the same way with the other members.

there were times were y/n took a few seconds to reply to the members, often times it felt like she couldn't recognize who is who.

but how?

haerin has no logical explanation, y/n's condition was beyond words, it was hard to explain, she didn't lose memories no, she could tell her members name, she knows what her life was once before the incident but it felt like a part of y/n was missing, barely holding on.

if haerin was to explain this to people, they'd think she's insane.

y/n left the bathroom and haerin, the girl frowned, damned and confused.

it's not like haerin has the sharpest eyes amongst everyone, literally, the shape of her eyes were sharp, but the way she see things weren't always as accurate as it is. but when she stared at y/n during their shooting, in the house where the light was shining upon y/n's face, she knew she had to get these feelings out soon.

y/n was silent, she turned to haerin and gave haerin a small smile. "it's hot isn't it? i didn't want to go to the convenience store with the others cause i knew you'd stay." y/n is still y/n, her memories are well intact, she knows haerin and everything about her.

maybe it's time for haerin to stop thinking too much.

what was that feeling? haerin blinked her eyes and stared at y/n. "i'm glad you're okay." haerin muttered, y/n nodded.

y/n felt bad, just how long does she need to hide this? she knew haerin was catching up to her, y/n knew how rare her cognitive disorder were from the force she got during the incident; she was scared they'd turn her into a lab rat.

that night, when she opened her eyes again, she could barely tell who was who, she knew her members' names but she couldn't recognize their faces as familiar. now, y/n is scared to close her eyes, because when she does, haerin's face fades away...

that same night, haerin didn't speak while everyone did, y/n couldn't remember what her voices sounded like, even now, whenever she's away from haerin, she can't recognize her voice.

in her three months inside the hospital, it felt like hell, her tactile sense was impaired, her auditory sensory too, and even her visual sensory was beyond repair; somehow y/n knew it was hard to explain her condition.

but there was hope, obviously, she really wasn't all that crippled, to y/n, it was just a side effect, yet it's hard to deal with but it was the best outcome out of all. who knows? if she wasn't lucky enough to survive that accident, she would've been dead by now.

yet, she is alive. y/n has to accept that she will live her upcoming years dealing with the anguish that her condition will bring her, it was hard to keep hiding but it was for the best.

y/n looked at haerin. "i promise, i'll always be okay." haerin looked down, it had to be the truth, right? perhaps, their perspective on that promise were different, y/n can only guarantee that everything haerin saw in her was okay, but haerin wanted to know deeper.

the girls came back with snacks, a cold soda, and some breads. y/n turned her head away as hanni cheered, y/n can't tell who was that, every now and then, she kept forgetting the girls' facial features, except for their hair and clothes.

hanni has a short hair in this filming, so it was easy to distinguish her from everyone else, the same with danielle with her curly hair.

y/n is only happy she picks up on it quickly without them noticing.

one day, she'll have to stop playing pretend and come in terms with her reality.

"you want bread?" hanni asked y/n, to which she nodded and smiled. "of course." she beamed at hanni and grabbed the bread.

ah, y/n couldn't tell if this bread was heavy or not.

"it's so soft!" danielle smiled, haerin watched y/n as she looked over the members with a smile. yeah, haerin hated herself for always thinking twice.

both her and y/n needed to make up their mind, find a place where they want their minds to reside, they can't keep going off anywhere.

y/n can't tell what texture this bread had, is it smooth or rough? soft or tough?

her disorder limited her performance in identifying most objects.

the whole filming felt natural, well, it was a tough job but overall, y/n managed to keep up quite well. she was happy to be given this chance to continue with newjeans, she promised herself nothing was limiting her from doing something she loved and being with the people she cares for.

ah, it was another one of those nights again when y/n is in her bed and crying; she can't feel her face, it's been numb and tired.

why does she feel like this?

it's horrible...

why can't she just be honest with what she feels? why does she have to suffer?

it's scary, she can't recognize haerin's voice, her members' face were out of the picture. once again, even for only a short amount of time, they felt like strangers to her.

she needed help and if she can't get it, her cognitive disorder will destroy her whole being, something worse than a nightmare, is her confusion, a poison was the truth.

there's no certain cure for agnosia, maybe it was a bad idea for her to surf the internet for an answer, it must be just anxiety, yeah - she's probably just worrying too much.

y/n sighed, the truth was a pill she couldn't swallow, necessary but felt like a punch on the gut, denial was her only answer, tonight, she wants to still her resolve to face her contests.

haerin heard faint sobbing as she leaned her ears on the door, she sighed, it's one of those nights again. haerin wanted to know what was putting y/n into these kinds of situations, crying herself to sleep until the time burns out and she's left to keeping herself awake till the next day.

haerin knows y/n and her have a connection only they can understand, it was some kind of feelings that both they shared and individually had. something that's hurting y/n is hurting haerin too. haerin knocked on the door. "y/n? are you okay? this is haerin."

y/n rose from her bed and wiped her tears, it's haerin, she knew only because haerin revealed herself.

"come in..." y/n faint voice made haerin's heart skip a beat.

when haerin opened the door, she caught a glimpse of y/n's back, haerin curled her brows but only for a few seconds as she gathered her courage.

"i could hear your sobs you know? what's bothering you?" there was no point with hiding, y/n looked at haerin, the swollen eyes caught the cat-like girl off guard, she sighed and sat on the other edge of the bed, their backs facing each other.

"a lot..." y/n muttered, haerin nodded.

"i guessed it, want to share it?" haerin's offer sounded tempting at the moment, y/n felt like it made sense if she finally came to agreement about what she felt, she'd be able to understand haerin more and get the heavy feelings off of her chest.

"it feels a little heavy for me to share... but i guessed it's you so..." y/n shifts her posture as she turned a bit to face haerin's back, she had a small sheepish smile, haerin chuckled; from what she remembered, the heaviest for her was having to see y/n at the hospital, it made her hate the emptiness of every corridor, the heaviness of her heart weighing all the worries she carried for y/n.

the comfort the practice room once gave her was gone, all that was left is fear of something worse as she await y/n's return.

"i can take it." haerin stated.

"i'm consulting a doctor, again." haerin finally turned her head, both of their backs facing each other but their eyes were on one another. haerin raised her eyebrows. "like your weekly checkups with the physician?" well it was something everyone knew was a part if y/n's new routine.

"why? you don't wanna go there anymore?" haerin asked again.

y/n shook her head as she took a heavy breath. "no," she paused, it was for the best, if she stopped consulting her physician, one thing could go wrong and it's over but she needed more help.

"i... i'll try reaching out to psychiatrists..." haerin looked at y/n, surprised, it was out of pocket.

"why..?" haerin was rather afraid to ask but she wanted to know. y/n shook her head and sighed. "that i'm still trying to look for an answer myself, i felt the need to reach out to a psychiatrist but i can only get the answer why i got the urge if i can hear them out." y/n answered, it was know haerin's turn to shake her head.

"no, there's definitely something wrong." the past was their playful banter, y/n remembers those memories with haerin but all with a distorted image of haerin's face and an almost empty sound of her voice.

even the touch of haerin's palm was unrecognizable to y/n.

that was her problem. "it's hard to explain." y/n said.

haerin frowned and looked down. "are you going to be okay?" like a sad kitten, haerin asked as she looked at y/n. y/n gave her a nod. "of course."

agnosia...

prosopagnosia, the disorder that affects her ability to recognize familiar faces.

phonagnosia, inability to recognize familiar voices, and ahylognosia, the disorder that hinders the identification of textures and materials.

the psychiatrist couldn't give her a proper answer to a cure, even he looked unsure; it brought y/n's hopes down. he could only say that time can help y/n re-develop these skills, it was a side effect of the trauma her head caught during her accident.

"give it at least three or more months. it should be advisable to stay with friends, families, or loved ones, that's the only thing you should really worry about, it doesn't get worse over time as long as you keep great contact with familiar people in your life."

that's what he said.

though, there isn't an instant cure, y/n held on to what her psychiatrist said, he'll keep in touch and check up on her every now and then, maybe that'll help.

as y/n was heading home, she kept listening to their own songs, familiarize... and remember...

watching music videos was her answer, since she gets to call her family all the time she needed to, y/n's main focus is once again recognizing her members.

when she got home, haerin noticed this.

"hey, you've been watching a lot of our music videos." she pointed out, y/n looked up at haerin, just a bit more, she told herself.

"yeah, i like our songs." it was true but in this situation it wasn't.

"how did your consultation went?" haerin asked, not taking no more risk to lose the chances. the members were gone except for the two girls. "it went as expected." y/n answered.

haerin looked down at y/n who sat down at her chair and haerin scratched her cheek. "i hate beating around the bush, can you tell me what you got? i promise i'll keep it." y/n appreciates haerin's honesty but it was hard to say something that took her a lot to understand.

y/n stood up from her seat and shook her head at haerin. "maybe the right time will come, i have something i want to say more now that that." y/n faced haerin and sighed as she let out a sheepish laugh.

haerin blushed as the gap between them got smaller, she really isn't good about these things unless they're playful, definitely not when it's y/n. "what is it?" maybe she shouldn't push the psychiatrist topic so much; it worried haerin yes, but it didn't seem right to y/n, it wasn't her choice.

"do you like me?" it was such a short question but haerin was taken back as she pointed to herself, she's got her tongue tied as she looked away with a soft blush.

"what's that suddenly about?" haerin asked as she looked at y/n again, y/n smiled and shook her head. "nothing, anyway i'll just get something from minji's room." y/n shrugged and haerin saw y/n walked past her and haerin reached over to y/n's shoulder. "wait!"

y/n turned around and looked at haerin as the cat-like girl took a heavy breathe. "i, i have something to say. promise we'll stay the same?" haerin's face looked delicate, to y/n's eyes, her expression were cute. "of course." she said.

"hm, i like you yeah. but why would u ask?" haerin looked at y/n before scratching her cheek. y/n stared at haerin and smiled, she shrugged and looked away for only a few seconds. "well, if i were to be honest it makes things easier for me. you know? just watch over me okay? i'll eventually get better in no time." y/n said as she beamed at haerin, haerin nodded, a soft blush covering her cheeks.

"well, as long as you tell me about what you feel." haerin shrugged, her breath feels short, must have been her heart beating too much. y/n looked down and nodded. "i promise to be transparent." y/n muttered as she leaned her head on haerin's shoulder.

y/n rubbed her face on the soft fabric of haerin's clothes, the cat-like girl's smell wafted around her, the smell of the fresh fabric conditioner. she's afraid if she closes her eyes her mind would be in a blur.

haerin looked at y/n, she awkwardly stayed still.

"i'm sorry," y/n sighed. "i can't really find a way to communicate what i'm going through, not to you, not to the members." haerin nodded.

"it is harder for you than everyone else..." haerin muttered.

"everyone will find out sooner anyway, i don't have to hide forever." y/n smiled as she she felt haerin's arms around her.

a future with everyone, that's what y/n wanted, though hard to put into imagination, she wishes that once all is over, she'll still be with haerin.

"it's okay, i won't let them force you if you don't want to." haerin knew she sounded silly, it was something tough and brave for her to say but it was true, she'd be willing to speak up if it was for y/n's betterment.

y/n chuckled and nodded. "i trust you." she whispered.

y/n doesn't want to close her eyes, she wants to know that she's with haerin, that when haerin speaks, her eyes could see her presence, she wanted more than to feel, it was out of her capabilities as her cognitive disorder limited her to be able to do such things;

if she closes her eyes, she wouldn't know it's haerin speaking, she wouldn't certainly be able to imagine the familiarity of haerin's face.

maybe just now, but in the future anything could change - hopefully.

haerin had to shake her mind off of y/n's secrets, not everything has to have her in the picture and she understood it.

haerin and y/n both hopes for something better to come, maybe tomorrow it will change, maybe not - maybe it'll only take a couple of days or if not, weeks, months or even a year or two. it's hard to try and live in the future if the present needed to be change; no one certainly knew what would happen.

but in this present, y/n only needed her family, friends, and haerin. through what limited her capabilities, it's not enough to put y/n to a full stop and not enough for haerin to keep caring for the girl.

as they stood in the middle of y/n's room, haerin's hug starts to feel tighter, without y/n noticing it.

"i love you." haerin thought, well, she didn't have enough courage to say it.

sighing, haerin carefully puts a hand on top of y/n's head and gently caressed y/n's hair. for a brief moment or more, it felt like home.

[bbanghiitomi]

MY NJ GIRLS...

i'm only hoping for the best for newjeans and i will only side to them no matter what... my girls deserve so much better.

everything will be okay bunny girls, we are all waiting here for you girls huhuhu...

hybe and everyone trying to sabotage the girls will pay for their crimes.

[bbanghiitomi]

im sick of being a loser

today, i did a small job at a local office and a girl from univ who looked (or at least had the same energy) as this HANNI entered and walked over to me to ask about the office...

i wasn't able to utter any world or had an actual thought in my head as i was staring at her...

god why did you make me a loser...

[bbanghiitomi]

TAKING MY TIME

pairing: pham hanni x fem! reader

trope: strangers to lovers! fluff! slowburn!

the orientation hall is filled of students around your age, crowded and filled with chatters among students and classmates. you sat alone in the corner as you wait for the orientation to end, it's smart really, how you genuinely thought walking away from your classmates and picking a seat away from them was a good idea. good thing you brought a notebook and had the motivation to listen and list down notes of what was needed before the assigned work for students was announced.

the next thing after the announcement is the list of students at every department in the city hall, it could be anywhere, it was random and you could be grouped with people who you didn't know.

that wasn't the worst part, you were capable, it didn't matter what the people around you couldn't and could do; it only mattered to you that you are able to do a lot. the thing is this is a requirement to complete the school year, working on a department as a trainee to gain experience, spending hours to complete the given time and getting nothing in return but a certificate...

so you had no choice, it would have been nice to work on a tech company but you didn't want to spend 8 days in front of your computer and then 2 days of staring at the thin air and having to pay a lot of money just for the experience.

the easiest way was the hard way.

there are different departments around the city, it could be the department for the agriculture, department of the fire and safety management and more, but the worst of them all had to be the council for the children and the traffic department.

well, working on an office and taking care of kids isn't as bad as walking on mountains and rice fields or standing in the middle of the road while it's blazing hot.

you just weren't fond of kids.

being assigned for the council for the welfare of children leads you straight to a local kindergarten around the city and that means you'll have to teach and take care of kids.

you have nieces, yes; but you never took initiative to take care of them. you've been a sole hater of kids, at least that's what you claim to be. you didn't know how to work your way in it if you ever got assigned in that department.

on the other side of the orientation hall, is a girl who hopes to be assigned at the council for the welfare of children.

pham hanni.

she's excited, she looked forward for this new experience. yes, it's tough, it's going to be very hard but wouldn't it be worth it? she thinks so.

as the orientation continues, hanni made sure to list everything that was needed, no time to wait and just sit there, she needs to be assigned at the kindergarten department.

"is everything crystal clear students?" the principal asks, looking at the students ahead of him as he stands in front. in unison, the students answer: "yes, sir."

the screen in front of the hall shows lists of departments, the principal prepares to announce the group of students working together.

you expect that there would be 10 of you but no, as the third department was announced, you instantly freeze on your seat.

"council for the welfare of children, pham hanni and jeon y/n." the principal requires students to stand up when their names are mentioned, you immediately scramble to stand up, hearing snickers behind and just on the other side is another girl.

"okay who's pham hanni? raise your hand." the principal says, the short girl raises her hand with a huge smile on her face. you turn your head to look at her, you couldn't make out her face as she had her back facing you.

"how about jeon y/n." you raise your hand reluctantly, the principal nods and hanni turns to look at you, before you immediately sit down.

"so those are the people you'll work with, pham and jeon will be immediately deployed in the city's kindergarten to teach and help kids. remember to print out forms and checklists and place them in a brown envelope."

it wasn't supposed to be this bad, you stand in front of the school's office as the adviser allowed you to use the photocopy machine for the forms you'll need.

you didn't notice hanni behind you, approaching. "uhm hey." she says, you look behind and see her, holding two daily time records in her hands.

"uh, hi... can i do something for you..?" you ask her, she smiles and awkwardly looks around the office as she hands you a daily time record. "i had an extra one of this so, i was planning to give it to you." she says, you slowly take it from her and place it on the table, not really putting out that much of an expression as you nod.

"thanks..." you only say before busying yourself with the machine again. hanni sighs and laughs sheepishly, embarrassed by your lack of enthusiasm for her presence. "you're printing our forms already?" she asks, you nod and continue to face the printing machine.

"yes, ms. kim allowed me." hanni blinks her eyes and remembers that you two are required to get your parental consent signed by a law firm office for a notary and she decides if she can ask you to come with her,

"uh, you want to come with me? get the notary for our parental consent..." in all honesty, hanni was taking this whole work immersion requirement seriously, like she's actually getting a job. she wants to get to know you and get comfortable with each other even if the real work is just 5 days.

after that, you don't have to talk to her again.

yet you try to entertain her so she won't get her feelings hurt. "okay." you say as you face her and put the papers in the brown envelope with her and your name on it.

you both stand outside the law firm office, waiting for your papers to be signed by the lawyer. hanni peeks at your every now and then and regrets it when she sees you looking back at her.

but she can't help herself but just look at you, cautious whether you're bothered by her.

"hey, you're parental consent is ready." you tell her as she shoots up and looks at you. "w-what?" she asks, you stare at her, emotionless. "your paper is ready." you tell her, hanni immediately takes her pouch and grabs her money as she enters the office to pay for the notary service.

you follow next and take yours before making your way before her back to school to pass the paper to the adviser.

"aren't you excited?" hanni asks as she walks behind you, you look just a bit behind and back to the front. "not really." you answer her, hanni nods and figures you're probably not a big fan of school requirements.

you feel bad at your lack of enthusiasm, but it's just how you are. "how about you?" you ask, hanni's face lightens as she hears you ask about her. "yes! i really want to work at a daycare or kindergarten as a teacher, don't you think kids are great?" hanni says, you shrug at her question.

"not fond of them. but you do you, they'll probably like you a lot." you tell her as you stop walking to let hanni catch up. hanni looks at you as she smiles and nods her head. "i hope so." she says as she walks beside you.

first day.

the first day is as bad as you knew it is gonna be, you wake up early in the morning and forget to make lunch, you make your way to a local convenience store to buy a half-ass double cheese pepperoni sandwich and run to catch up to the bus on the daycare department.

entering the office, you look like you didn't get enough sleep. hanni watches as you walk inside and place your bag on the floor and immediately eat your sandwich with your brows furrowed and eyes still closed.

"y/n? are you okay?" she asks, you take deep breath and look up at her and sigh. "yeah, i'm okay." you tell her and even before she says something, she gets cut off by the supervisor who asks her to come see the kids.

meanwhile you're left in the office with a stack of paper to arrange and nametag designs to work at.

hanni's assigned job is simple, just entertain the kids... the supervisor and teachers obviously prefer her over you and they like the job she's doing. and here you are, dumped with papers to work at, with two hours of sleep catching up to school and no lunch packed.

hanni enters the office again as the kids are back to listening to their teacher, she sees your slumped figure, printing and designing nametags.

"it's lunch already, have you brought yours?" you sigh as you hear her voice and look at her. "no, i didn't pack anything. i'll buy after this." hanni grimaces when she sees the pile of paper in the desk and the time, you're not gonna make it on time with all the stack of paper they gave you.

"but lunch is about to finish, are you sure you can make it on time?" she asks. "yeah, i can if you give me some space." you tell her without even sparing her a glance, hanni looks away and sits at her assigned desk, watching you work.

hanni sees the door open and it's the supervisor. "oh pham! the kids are about to go home, what about saying goodbye to them?" they say as they look at hanni who smiles at them. "yeah i will! just waiting for the teacher to signal me." she says.

the supervisor looks at you and takes a peek at your work. "seems like you're not finished yet." they say and you try your best not to click your tongue in annoyance. "what do you say pham? we can eat lunch at the cafeteria." the supervisor offers but hanni shakes her head and looks at you. "i'm okay here." the supervisor nods and leaves the office.

it's clear you aren't in your best mood, about to finish as hanni waits.

"you can leave you know?" you tell her as you continue to arrange files. hanni shakes her head. "but, i want to eat lunch with you." you chuckle, not looking at her direction. "i can't i'm eating outside." you say, hanni watches as you finish and brush yourself and leaving the office.

hanni sighs as she looks at your now empty desk, and puts the lunch she made in your desk before going to the cafeteria to eat lunch with the supervisor. she knew it's a bit late now and you're probably not going to be allowed to eat outside so she leaves her lunch to your desk incase you come back.

turns out, hanni was right. you stand in the empty office, starving and your pride's about to wear down, now you feel guilty for pushing hanni away and you can't help but rub your temple before sitting down and sighing.

"why am i such an asshole..?" you mutter to yourself before eating the food and thanking hanni in the back of your mind.

after your shift with hanni was done, hanni checks up on you to see if the lunchbox is in your desk, it wasn't there and hanni has no idea where it went, she's starting to think someone else took it from your desk.

the day ends with hanni the backseat of their car, looking out to the window wondering where you are.

second day

hanni doesn't sense any difference on you as you sat on your desk and did your usual work, the kids' class hasn't started yet and hanni cannot find the courage to walk up to you and ask about your day, you seem occupied in your own little world.

hanni sighs as she leaves the office and proceeds to do the work assigned to her, leaving you alone in the office.

after a while, it's lunch again, your were able to finish half of your work in time and when hanni is about to leave and eat lunch in the cafeteria, you make your way to her desk with the lunchbox from yesterday, placing it on her desk.

"is that..?" hanni trails as she looks up at you from the chair she was sitting on, you take a deep breath as you nod. "yeah, it's your lunchbox." you mutter as you watch hanni take the lunchbox and notice that it has a significant weight on it, hanni watches as you make your way out of the office but before you open the door, she calls out to you.

"y/n! where are you going?" hanni asks, looking at the lunchbox in her hands. you look at hanni and raise your eyebrows. "canteen, i'll eat lunch." hanni walks up to you and smiles. "let's eat lunch together."

you can't understand why you feel this way, you sat across hanni on the table and stare at your lunch while hanni is eating hers, you've eaten a good amount of it and as you sat, you can't help letting your mind wander of until hanni notices.

"what's up y/n?" she asks, you look at her and blink your eyes before shaking your head. "nothing..." you mutter.

luckily, your assigned work was finished sooner than you expected and you got the chance to watch hanni help the teacher inside the classroom, being able to see hanni's mature and loving personality, you can't help but notice how well the kids get along with her, you can sense that they'd get attached to her really quick.

after hanni was finished, you agree to accompany her to the bus stop, wherein she'll be picked up by her dad and you'll take the bus.

"so... you made the lunch?" she asks, you stare at the road, seeing the vehicles pass by and you nod. "yes." you woke up early to cook the lunch, which you usually never do, it's a weird routine and you can't get yourself used to it.

hanni smiles as she shrugs. "it's good, i didn't know you could cook." she laugh and it brought you to smile as well. "rarely." you comment and hanni nods.

it was awkward until you see her father pulling up and hanni bids goodbye before getting inside the car.

third day

as hanni waits for your arrival, she can't help but think that you only have two days left with her, the day hasn't even started and she's already sad thinking she probably won't see you often after those five days.

it's an ordinary day, aside from the humid air, hanni can't help but notice your awfully cheerful behavior.

"uhm, good morning y/n!" hanni greets you and sees the smile in your face when you look at her, hanni feels her cheeks warm up and she tries her best to maintain eye contact as you nod your head. "hey, good morning." you tell her as you take a seat, hanni notices that you're bringing a lunchbox, you're own lunchbox.

hanni can't help but smile as the day went on.

it's the usual, there's nothing new as you sat on your desk and did office work while hanni is taking care of the kids and helping the teacher, she's made a name for herself amongst department employees. they all like her.

and you're just there. it's not like it matters to you, you're all cool doing your own thing in your own word. today is a good day, after a long time of waiting, you got your results for your college entrance the same time you arrived home yesterday.

hanni is so ready to ask about why you're so happy.

lunch came, you and hanni decide to go to the same place at the canteen where you are now bringing your own food you cooked yourself. hanni doesn't know how to not look at you, every second, she finds herself stealing glances or just staring.

you don't even notice until hanni speaks.

"uhm, hey you look so happy today... mind if i ask you why?" she says, you raise your brows at her and nod. "yeah." you shrug, it's weird. usually when someone asks you why you're like this, like that, you get annoyed but... with hanni it's different.

"you look so happy today, i mean it's not like you aren't everyday but you look extra bright." hanni laughs under her breath and looks at you, you continue to eat your food as you nod. "uh yeah, i passed my entrance exam and i'm getting my priority program." you tell her, hanni blinks her eyes and is in shock.

well you're smart but she didn't think you'd be able secure a slot before everyone does.

"where?" she asks.

"seoul national university." hanni opens her lips, she's surprised, amazed.

"you're smart, smart." she laughs. you shrug and smile, and hanni feels something funny inside her stomach. "thanks."

as hanni sits in the backseat of their car, she can't help but picture your smile, it's just... so nice to see. hanni sighs and puts her hands on her face before sighing deeply, causing her parents to check if she's fine.

fourth day

after three days, you manage to finish all the papers and work assigned to you, and you were left with nothing anymore. hanni watches as you sit on your desk, tweaking on your laptop and you look bored.

hanni still has to take care of kids and she wonders what you'll be doing in the next day, last day.

she sighs and walks out of the office and she's surprised to see no teacher in the desk, she looks around and walks back to the office to ask the supervisor. "uhm, where's ms. kim?" hanni asks with a smile, the supervisor looks around and sighs.

"oh i forgot to tell you, she's absent for today and tomorrow. sick leave." hanni nods and slowly turns away to look at you as you stare at the window of the office. hanni blinks her eyes and looks at the supervisor again.

"should me and y/n teach together?" she asks, the supervisor looks up from their phone and shrugs. "do as you please."

"ah! no... hanni, i can't teach." you mutter as hanni pulls you out of the office to the classroom and looks at you with a smile. "come on! it's okay, the kids need someone to teach them and it's going to be okay..." hanni looks at you with a smile, relaxing her shoulders.

both of you stand in front of the classroom and you look at the door before shifting your eyes to hanni and sighing. "alright." hanni cheers and hugs you, wrapping her arms around you as she rests her chin on your shoulder.

"uh..." you mutter as you tap her lower back, hanni lets go and laughs sheepishly. "sorry, i'm just so glad..." you nod and open the door for her.

hanni passes a lesson plan to you as she gives you a reassuring smile, making her way in front of the class and telling them to lower down their voice. "everyone! hey, ms. kim is not present today so... for the mean time me and my friend will teach you all today." hanni looks at you as she smiles brightly, you feel tense as every kid looks at you.

"uhm, good morning everyone." you awkwardly wave your hand at them, hanni walks over to you and takes your hand to the front and introduces you. "everyone, this is jeon y/n. she's my super smart friend and she's teaching us math today."

you nod and try to put out an awkward smile, which worked, miraculously.

during the time with the kids, everything felt natural, you slowly feel the tension inside you easing away as you talk to kids. it's weird, how hanni's presence not only comforts kids but you too, a girl the same age as her. you learn not to take things so seriously, finding the right way to talk to kids, it feels different, weird...

hanni packs up her things with a huge smile on her face, she can't even wipe it off even with you staring at her, you exit with her and to the entrance of the building, a storm shows up.

it's raging and violent, the rain is loud as it pours down the cold pavement.

you bring out an umbrella and notice the dark skies, you look at hanni as she stares at the skies, it's raining and she didn't bring any umbrella. you stare at your umbrella before offering it to her. "here, you can use mine." you tell her, hanni looks at you and shakes her head.

"no y/n, i can't just take it when you're gonna be stranded here." she tells you, you can't refute what she said, it's true, you're seriously gonna be stuck here if you insist in letting her go first.

so instead, you pull the umbrella out and reach for her hand. "let's go." hanni doesn't hesitate as she takes your hand and run off to the bus stop wherein her parents were waiting inside their car. hanni lets go of your hand and smiles at you before she offers you a ride home. "let's go, my dad can drive you to your house." you laugh and shake your head.

"it's okay, i'll wait for the bus." you notice the hesitance on hanni's face as her parents wait.

"seriously, it's okay... go now." you tell her as you give her a smile and hanni hears her mother calling out for her before she hurriedly got inside the car.

as the car accelerates, hanni peeks through the window of the backseat to see if you're doing okay.

without realizing, she comes home still thinking about you.

fifth day

"ugh... now i have to make my portfolio in less than a week, i have to catch up to lectures..." hanni sighs as she slumps on her desk, the door opens and you come in, carrying your lunch that you made. hanni looks up and notices the calm expression on your face, she can't but smile.

"uhm, hey." hanni calls out to you, you turn to look at her and smile. "hi, good morning." you simply mutter before turning to work on your portfolio, hanni smiles and leans on her palms, her elbows are propped on the surface of her desk.

hanni looks towards the door of the office and to you. "hey, are you ready to teach again?" she asks, you look at her and nod. "yeah, i think i'm ready." you answer as you close your laptop and look at hanni who smiles brightly stands up.

"okay? then let's go."

"ms. jeon!" you look at the kid who called your name and crouch to his level. you raise your brows at him. "hm? is there something you need help at?" you mutter, he looks at you and grins, you don't exactly know what's on his mind as he looks at hanni.

"do you call ms. pham hanni or honey?"

you stare at the kid as his other classmate snicker, with no idea what's so funny about it, you shrug... they both sound the same so, how will you know the difference?

hanni shakes her head as she laughs and leans on the kid's seat. "hey knock it off, ms. jeon is about to go back to the office." hanni says as she smiles at the kid, feeling her cheeks redden.

you look at her and speak. "they're the same thing." you tell the kid, causing his classmates to all shout in surprise, they were screaming and cheering. hanni looks at you with wide eyes and red face. you shrug as you pick up the kids' papers and leave hanni standing and flustered.

the kids are having their recess and they seem to be enjoying, you watch as one particular kid struggles to peel his oranges and walk up to him to help him peel his oranges but as you do so, hanni takes one of the oranges and only peels half of it before she gives it to the kid for him to peel the rest.

you look at her for a brief moment and she look back at you, there's an awkward silence as you peel off another orange and she stops you midway.

"uhm..." you look at her hand around you wrist and hanni smiles at your before letting you go.

"just leave half of it to peel himself, he'll learn." hanni shrugs and smiles at you, you do as she says and place the half peeled orange on top of the kid's lunch box and watch as he peels the one hanni peeled for him until there is no orange peeling left.

hanni looks at you and sees the way your eyes look at the kid. "when you give a man a fish, he has a meal for the day. if you teach a man how to fish, he gets a meal everyday. you get it?" hanni smiles at you and you can't help but smile back as you nod.

"i do." you mutter, hanni giggles and tucks strands of hair behind her ear.

hanni looks at her phone after she finished eating her lunch, five days in and she hasn't asked you about your socials, it's like she's totally missed out a lot even when you look like the type to have a dead social media account.

hanni looks up to see you eating and begins to wonder if she can ask for your number in order to contact you.

"uhm, y/n?" she asks as she sees you finishing up. you look up to hanni and raise your eyebrows at her.

"can i ask for your number?" she gives you an awkward smile, in return, you stare at her and take her phone as you type in your phone number.

hanni looks at your contact number and smile to herself, she looks up at you as she sees you standing up. "i'll message you later, just for you know? for the portfolio..." hanni mutters as she stands up and follows you to the office.

the kids all look sad finding out this will be the last day of hanni and you working together, hanni comforts the kids by promising to come back every now and them for the kids. she crouches to their level and says her goodbye, while you stand behind hanni and waving your hands lightly.

hanni slumps her shoulder when the classroom door closes and you look at her, knowing she's sadden that she won't come here again tomorrow. you walk up to her and place a hand on her shoulder.

"they really liked you, hanni." you say, from your observation by how sad the kids were knowing that hanni won't be back as soon as possible, hanni smiles at you.

"aren't they cute? i wish i can stay longer." she says, you nod and bring your hand down. "i know you do. let's go home." you tell her as you give her a small smile and walk towards the office, hanni nods and follows.

the walk to the bus stop is silent, hanni wishes she can be here for a little longer, talk to you about more stuff more than school, but she can't even find the perfect topic.

you see hanni in a trance, staring far away and you can't help but laugh. "hey, you know it's not the end of the world now, right?" you stop in front of the bus stop, her parents aren't here yet.

hanni looks at you and laughs, embarrassed by how emotional she can get.

"sorry, it's cause... i still want to do a lot more stuff." hanni says, she sighs. you nod and look ahead. "yeah, i know. it's not over yet, maybe next time let's talk about it and visit." hanni looks at you as you speak, she blushes and laughs.

"i guess you're right."

maybe it really isn't the end of everything, rather it was just the beginning, it's too early for her to slump and be sad about things that are just the start of everything, there's so many things to look forward for.

hanni is thankful that whatever sort of destiny brought her to you, maybe she's more than thankful that she can look back again and smile at the trivial things.

as hanni gets inside their car, she can't help but look back at you, seeing the way you look at the car as she waves her hand goodbye to you. the drive home feels like a path to hanni's realization that maybe she must have been in love or fallen in love, that has to be it.

she doesn't know where or when but she knows, surely, she knows to whom these feelings are for.

[bbanghiitomi]

Sweet nothing— 16.

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SYNOPSIS : After experiencing a life-altering car accident at the age of 16, Lee yn develops hearing loss and faces challenges in adjusting to her new reality. As time passes, she struggles to remember the voice of her beloved mother, and as she grows older, she finds it increasingly difficult to accept a life without the joy of hearing music. she gradually lets the void swallow her. However, everything changes when she encounters Hanni, a multimedia arts student, who helps bring back the once symphony that got lost along the way back to her.

Taglist— @jiwoneiric @mightymyo @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @dodokus @haerinkisser @silentreader98 @brocoliisscared @skriri @7myoi @thefckghost

[bbanghiitomi]

ERRRRRRRR... (important... kinda)

midterms just finished (and yeh i absolutely failed most of them) but at least it's over! i'm gonna take very long till i can update again, probably a month or so... we're going to be veryyyy busy in the next months since school's about to be over! i need to get into a decent university so, yeah.

i'll try to write drafts though, so if i have time i can upload them immediately. i really really want to write but the time isn't sooo generous to me right now. alsooo god newjeans comeback is near!

i'll continue to check up on this account tho, we're on a short break so i'll try to write! promise!

[bbanghiitomi]

i might take a bite out of her hihi

arghhhhhhh

this me love for minji girl yarrr

[bbanghiitomi]

newjeans and fatal frame... perfect combo

୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ Creepy Little Doll ྀི ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧

[bbanghiitomi]

THE SAME PLACE AND DIFFERENT TIME

pairing: kim minji x fem reader

trope: fish out of water! childhood friends! first love! little bit of angst! fluff!

waking up feels weird for y/n again, inside the body of a first year college student, her little young soul is stuck somewhere she doesn't want to be. peeking on the window of her colorless room, it's an ordinary sunday, clear skies with no clouds and her view is blocked by buildings. it's so boring sitting here inside her room, a bed with no presence of a certain person she longs for. there's almost no time for her, the world is too fast and there's always something to look forward for.

but lately, her days have become more boring, it feels like she's starting to lose the meaning of a secret world she used to have as a child. consumed by sadness and boredom, y/n doesn't really know what to do, she's stuck inside her dorm maybe for a few more years?

"no, i shouldn't sulk like this..." y/n mentally sighs as she stands up from her bed and walks towards her study table. she hasn't changed one bit, at least that's what she thinks, she's the same old kid who hates sitting around looking sad, someone who persists through every conflict and is spontaneous.

if minji were to see her again, would she think the same?

y/n have always wondered about that, when she thinks of minji, she starts to miss the tall girl again, like always since she left to study far from her home. y/n at first liked to believe it hasn't been that long, until maybe a few more years passed because she hopes when she comes back, minji would remember her again.

but in reality, it's been more than 2 years, 5 years to be exact... in that amount of time, how many memories did minji make without y/n? how many people did she meet?

how long did she ever think about y/n? when every hour felt like another day without warmth for y/n.

does she care for y/n anymore? the thought is extremely scary, thinking about being forgotten is scary...

y/n sits on her chair, grabbing her laptop as she opens it and looks at an email from her school, after her test, the school announces a break for the students and it's 4 weeks.

enough time to go back to gangwon province and maybe see minji again.

"no!" y/n shakes her head as she buries her face on her palms, the warmth of embarrassment spreads around her face. will she even remember me? y/n thinks to herself as she sighs, stretching her arms to her table and leaning over to it, her fingers touching the small and fuzzy bear figurine that minji have gifted her before, there's a smaller version of it, the baby bear.

back then, there really wasn't a lot to worry about, just when y/n's piano practice starts or when minji needs to go back home. back then, these feelings she had for minji were all just something to laugh about and forget tomorrow, but it turned into something bigger the longer she looks for minji.

times used to be more simple and minji used to be enough for her to reach, maybe she have wished for too much and that dream she had since she was little came true, but now y/n feels lonely.

the girl also comes across her last messages to minji, before everything went radio silent.

"sorry!" as if she have caused minji some trouble again.

"it's okay. message me again when you're free." minji sent her.

"okay!" y/n's reply and she hasn't gotten any free time ever since.

should she really come back? is the biggest question she wants to know right now, before she spends her break rotting on her bed all day long.

luckily, y/n's parents came to the rescue, they've been planning on building a small house in a small town in the province and they wanted to hear her thoughts. that means y/n can have an actual reason to go back...

on her way home in the car, y/n sits behind and listens as her parents converse. "what have our daughter been doing? we missed you so much." y/n's mother pipes in, the girl gives her mother a smile before leaning towards her mother's seat. "a lot actually, i didn't know there's a lot to do in college."

her father's laughs, shaking her head. "you'll get used to it kid, we've been living in the city for 5 years... things will get more rocky in the future." he says, y/n nods and smiles at her father. "i understand." she mutters.

her mother smiles endearingly at the interaction before looking behind her daughter who immediately meets her gaze, "don't you want to see minji?" she asks, y/n raises her brows and purses her lips before leaning back to the backseat and shrugging.

"i actually don't know if i want to..." she admits, sighing before laughing and shaking her head. "it's just that, it's been 5 years." she adds, y/n's father takes a peek at his daughter and looks at his wife before back at the road.

"didn't we talk to her family last week?" he asks, y/n's mother perks up and nods, looking at their daughter, who then gives them both a confused look.

"oh right! we missed the town so much, we decided to build a home again in the same neighborhood." y/n looks at her parents and squints her eyes at them before speaking. "okay? and what did you guys talk about?" the parents look at each other before laughing.

"a lot, about the house, the town, the city, university and you! minji said she misses you." y/n's father say and y/n cannot help the way her eyes widens. "o-oh... really?" she mutters.

her mother nods with a bright smile. "she said, you seem very busy and she was wondering why you weren't with us." y/n fixes her hair and the way she sits, before raising her index finger. "so, what do you guys plan to do there?" she asks.

her father looks straight to the road, occasionally peeking at his daughter from time to time. "well, minji's family owns a small inn, right? we can stay there for a while, talk about what we want our house to look like." he shrugs, y/n nods and gives her parents a small smile.

"i won't mind that. i wish it would look like our old house though." the girl receives nods from her parents and it didn't take them any longer until they finally arrived their old town.

standing in the middle of the street, y/n looks rather... lost? or maybe she is, the day is about to end and y/n starts to hear crickets all over the place. it's as if she's never been in this town, there's so many turns, left and right and it's making her head dizzy.

there weren't that much people too, it's like she's in a ghost town! it's not like this in the city, so bustling and loud, full of life.

and y/n starts to wonder whether she was really from this place, did she really grow up here? why does this place look so unfamiliar? just a few moments ago, y/n walked away from the inn before she could even see minji, wanting to gain enough courage to talk to the tall girl again.

and now here she is, lost in the town, not sure where to go. this moment made y/n realize she's changed, a lot... that maybe she really wasn't the same person she was before. the small y/n would never be lost like this...

still, y/n wants to find her way back home, even if she doesn't know where.

"do you still know this way?" y/n hears someone behind her and she immediately turns her body around to look at the familiar face of her childhood friend.

"m-minji..." she can only mutter, minji laughs and walks towards the girl. "why did you leave? when i went to welcome your family to the inn, you were nowhere." y/n shakes her head and puts a hand on her face and she sighs.

"i just wanted to walk around..." though, it was clearly a lie. minji nods and raises her hand as if to gesture y/n to follow. "let's go back to the inn." minji tells the girl, a very endearing and totally not charming smile on her face.

the girl nods and tucking in lost strands of her hair behind her ear before watching minji walk past her and the girl follows immediately.

minji doesn't look back but she's smiling, it's nerve-wracking, y/n doesn't know what to really say as if the words are stuck in her throat. no motivation to fight for her feelings.

"so, how's the city? i heard many great things come from there." minji starts, looking behind. the girl looks at minji and sees the smile on minji's face, her round eyes and very recognizable lips. y/n looks down with a blush on her cheeks and then back up at minji again as she laughs. "oh it's fine, i grew kind of tired of the noise and how boring the city could be." y/n answers, minji blinks twice before turning to the road again.

as they walk, they see kids frolic around the area, to the park and around some corners of the village. seeing that makes y/n reminisce about the past again, how fun and simple it was, what did change? she wonders.

"wasn't it your dream? you told me before." minji remembers that, but remembering it reminded you that you wanted that dream for your parents, because it's a big thing.

"my parents' actually, but then again, their dreams are mine." y/n sees minji nod, her back turned to y/n again as they walk and finally reach the inn. surprisingly, your parents weren't that upset, very understanding too. "thank god minji was there earlier, we knew she'd pick you up right away." y/n's father walks over to minji and pats her shoulder.

"so happy to see you again kid! i'm sure my daughter is too." minji smiles at y/n's father, nodding her head before looking at y/n, who cannot find a way to avoid the other girl. "that's great to know. have you brought your things up inside your inn already, sir?" she asks, and y/n's parents nod.

"we did! don't worry, by the way we should get going for now. we haven't gotten dinner." y/n's mother waves her hand towards minji and leaves with her husband, y/n stops walking in front of minji and looks at her parents before back at minji.

"thanks... i hope i didn't bother you." she smiles apologetically and fixes her hair, minji feels her heart beating as she looks at the girl. minji shrugs and shakes her palms that are starting to get wet. "nope, it's okay. you should get some rest now."

"okay, see you tomorrow." they stare at each other for a good 3 minutes before y/n looks away and starts walking unusually faster to their inn.

"you left the construction site?" minji asks the girl, who looks up from where she was sitting and stands up, fixing her skirt. minji's eyes went to look at y/n's skirt and immediately, like nothing happened up at y/n's eyes.

"uh huh." she says, nodding her head before laughing sheepishly. "i got bored and yeah, i want to do something else." y/n says, minji nods and puts her hands on the pocket of her pants.

"you haven't changed a bit." minji says, letting out a small chuckle. y/n look up back at her, raising an eyebrow at the tall girl. "what?" she whispers, minji walks behind a bit. "i mean, i don't think you changed at all. you're still the same girl from before." y/n feels her cheeks blaze as she nods, humming.

the playground is empty in the middle of the day, when kids are at school, just like it was before. it's almost as if it was the same place, and yes it was but... it also feels like the same time, y/n doesn't feel like she's grown any older.

yes, minji looked more mature, looked prettier, taller and her hair grew longer and more silky.

"really? i always thought i've changed a lot." y/n tells minji, she receives a smile from the other girl. "well, you looked prettier now. but other than that, you wear the same type of clothes." y/n blinks when minji says that she turned prettier... y/n blinks again and laughs sheepishly, looking down on her skirt.

"ah yeah, i feel more like myself in these." truth to be told, it's more on projection. thinking about how much she's changed mentally is tiring, it's like the life in city left her caged with nothing to do but the same thing. the only way she can relived her past self is by wearing the same clothes she used to wear.

minji looks at y/n's clothes and back the the girl's face. "it's nice. living in the city, i'm surprised you're still hesitant about your looks." minji chuckles and scratches the back of her head, y/n blinks her eyes twice and then away. "i just feel like sometimes i don't feel right in my own clothes."

"you look right, amazing even." minji shrugs before offering her hand to y/n. "it's been so long since i last saw you." minji adds, y/n stretches her arm and opens her hand to hold minji's, the texture of minji's palm never changes, despite all the work she does in their house it's still soft.

"i'm sorry if i couldn't even message you..." y/n says, recalling the times she couldn't make any time to reply or even hit minji up. minji shrugs and caress y/n's hand. "i understand, it's not easy being in college. i hope you're fine though..." y/n smiles at minji and puts another hand on their hands.

"i'm so glad to see you again, it feels so weird..." y/n purses her lips before sighing and speaking again. "it's like i'm going around chasing a bunny, then again i'm lost." minji nods, tilting her head to get a better look of your face.

"some people really don't understand the secret this world has." there's so much to do, so much to eat, so much to say, so many to love and care for. there's not enough time to do everything but the most. y/n looks up at minji as the tall girl speaks. "you told me before right? that happiness are those small things."

at the end of the day, y/n is just a crybaby.

in this bright world full of fantastic things, there's no time to feel bored.

"yeah... and we used to eat cookies, and almost i don't know what i was doing before." y/n laughs, minji looks away. there's a blooming, ticklish, funny feeling inside minji when she's here holding your hands, it's the same giddy feeling while playing stupid games before, the same feeling looking at your face but this feeling was never there for anyone else.

"you used to never think twice, no matter how crucial it is. you also used to get lost a lot too, then i'd look for you." minji says, y/n giggles and brings their hands closer to her chest. "thinking about those stuff, feels like looking at a picture book right?" y/n says, minji nods.

the skies are turning orange, and kids are running towards the playground. maybe the reason the little kid y/n was before didn't get lost because she had minji.

"you used to always get in trouble..." minji laughs and y/n shakes her head, whining. "i was just really annoying!"

it's such a ridiculous story, feels like no one will believe. seeing minji's face again, the patch of mud on the sidewalk and the kids frolicking around in their own world.

"i missed you a lot." minji speaks again, this time her voice sounded more delicate as if she meant every one of her word. it's been so long, days, weeks, months and years have passed but minji still remembers y/n.

the girl looks at minji as if she's about to cry, because those words mean a lot to her. y/n nods, letting go of minji's hand before she steps and wraps her arms around minji. "i missed you too!" y/n sobs, causing minji to laugh.

"come on, are you really just gonna weep like that?" minji teases, y/n buries her head on minji's shoulder, wiping her tears on the taller girl's shirt. "seriously..." y/n whispers.

minji pats y/n's back, an arm around the girl's waist. "ah, it's getting darker." minji mutters, y/n ignores her and sobs again. "i really think of you a lot, when i look at my last message to you... i wish i can do something about it." y/n whispers, her voice cracking every syllable.

"you know i'm not going anywhere, right?" minji whispers back, putting her hand on top of y/n's head. y/n nods, it's not about that. the girl hates the idea of being away from minji again, she's hated that idea but seeing minji again, like this... makes her hate it even more.

minji isn't leaving but minji is also not going to be there always, it's not about whether she's going to leave or not... after all those years, her little silly feelings for minji, turned into something bigger and more serious, when she yearns for minji's warmth that space inside her heart turns more shallow.

maybe, y/n is scared minji might find someone else...

"don't look for anyone else other than me..." y/n whispers, minji widens her eyes as she hears what was said. minji turns her head to take a peek of y/n's face, but all the girl did was bury her face deeper on minji's neck.

"what do you mean?" this is it. this must be really it.

y/n may feel guilty for sounding selfish admitting that she hates the idea that minji will find someone who'll love her too.

"i... i want to be honest, ever since i left i started to miss you more everyday, it feels like it was never gonna end." y/n takes a sharp breath. feeling the way her heart squeezes as if pouring out all the feelings she's harbored for minji on those years they were away from each other.

it feels like she's inside a woods, lost inside the forest with nowhere to go except the only path she can see.

"it was so long... everything feels like it's the same everyday. people around me moved on, went past and never looked back. i couldn't because i feel it too deeply, and i love too much..." y/n pulls away from minji, letting go of the tall girl... that also forced minji to let her hands off of y/n.

"i didn't want to be left alone, i didn't want to think of you with someone else!" y/n sees the way minji looks at her, the tall girl looks at the playground, the kids are all going home.

y/n puts her hand on her face, wiping her stupid tears away.

"i never looked for anyone else but you... i see you on and off on your account, it gives me hope that you're still there. we're stuck on the same memory, i think of you too a lot." minji shrugs as she speaks and reaches for y/n's hand, minji hears y/n trying to suppress her tears.

"y/n? are you serious?" minji chuckles and holds y/n's hand tighter. the girl looked confused, she tucks in strands of stray hair behind her ear. minji sighs. "i take my time to let you know i'm just here for you to lean on to, stupid messages, so short but it's alright because i know you're okay." minji continues, her other hand reaches for y/n's shoulder.

y/n was silent, she looks like she's hesitating but in reality, there's nothing but minji inside her head.

"it's because i like you!" y/n opens her mouth and stares at minji, surprised about what she had said. minji leans her head closer, seeing y/n blink her eyes and lifting her hands to cover her face.

minji hears y/n whine and she holds the girl's shoulders. "hey..."

"i don't why? we only talk through messages and they're not even that long! i've tried to hard to get rid of these feelings but it's not working! you're really the only one i want..." y/n grumbles, her voice is muffled but still audible that it makes minji smile to see how intense the girl's feelings are for her.

"i understand." minji states as she moves her hand to hold y/n's nape, pulling her closer and making the girl take her hands off of her face until their foreheads touch. minji holds y/n's waist with her other hand. "don't ever change, okay? you and your feelings, don't change." minji whispers.

y/n hears the crickets and then maybe her own heartbeat, distracted by the way minji looks at her eyes... it could be the street lamps but minji's eyes looks like she has the whole milky way galaxy in them.

minji laughs as she feels how warm y/n has gotten.

out of nowhere, the tall girl leans to kiss y/n on the lips, not that long but enough for y/n to feel it linger all over her.

the wind blows, but suddenly it's not so cold here anymore.

minji doesn't give y/n any time to react and immediately pulls her in a hug. "dummy. i love you too, okay? you're not alone." minji mutters.

y/n lowers her head, leaning on minji's shoulder and she finds herself diving in deeper in their hug. "gosh, this feels like it's not real..." y/n mutters, minji laughs again and places a kiss on y/n's cheek.

"but it is real, wanna go back to the inn?" minji asks, gently lifting y/n from the ground, causing the girl to shriek and laugh.

and it's fun like that, exploring new feelings and diving in it without thinking much. it's fun basking on its wonderful effects, how amazing love can be or just how unpredictable circumstances are sometimes.

it's another day, y/n feels like she dreams a lot now. she doesn't want to forget her dreams.

when the girl sits up, she opens her eyes and sees how blurry her vision was. the girl rubs her eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again.

she was greeted by the pink walls of her room, exactly the same copy of her childhood room but without the stains of time.

was she dreaming? y/n peeks on her window, a very sunny day with bright skies and clouds all over the blue horizon.

just an ordinary day.

y/n looks on the floor of her room, her shoes with a patch of mud on it.

thankfully, she wasn't dreaming at all.

the door of her room opens, from the shoes, y/n looks up to see minji smiling at her. "hey, it's 11am already." the girl says, y/n smiles and jumps off of her bed, running towards minji and embracing the tall girl in a hug.

"ah! thank you!" y/n rubs her cheek on minji's shoulder, humming. the tall girl looks at her girlfriend, confused. "what happened?" she asks.

y/n shakes her head and laughs. thinking that what if everything was a dream? y/n was scared that once she opens her eyes, minji will be out of reach again. but she's wrong, minji is here.

"nothing, i'm so happy you're here again! and that you wake me up before it gets late." y/n says, minji nods and pats y/n's head, sighing. "ah yeah, come on we have somewhere to go." minji pulls y/n out of her room, their laughter is heard across the corridor as they walk to the dining room.

y/n might have been lost on her way home, maybe it took her too long to find her way back... but she's back! that's all that matters, minji is with her to guide her wherever she goes, just like when they were younger.

[bbanghiitomi]

sweet potato

i also tried to survive eating sweet potato and i almost exploded

[bbanghiitomi]

you don't have to thank meee, i'm happy to share some music that i loveee. hope you enjoyed the songs!

no seriously, i haven't been able to add more songs in my playlist, i actually already saw the band already on my spotify but didn't give it that much attention AND MY GOD WAS I WRONG FOR THAT

i love filipino rock bands man...

[bbanghiitomi]

you have a music tastee, i recommend you to listen to this songs called back to me and borrowed time by cueshé. It sounds like something you might like

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD ANON WHAT THE HELL THANK YOU I SAVED IT ON MY PLAYLIST

ANON... WHAT DO I DO TO THANK YOU!! YOU GET ME SO MUCH...

[bbanghiitomi]

song so sad it destroys me everytime.

trust me when i say, other than heaven knows, upside down is probably one of the few songs that actually make me cry so hard...