bebeselene - Tumblr blog

[bebeselene]

I dont deserve to eat

[bebeselene]

Im back 💀

[bebeselene]

you will never regret getting sk!nny, but you will regret 0ver3at!ng .

the choice is yours .

[bebeselene]

Omfg

So i visted my friend out of state for almost 2 weeks and she only has the most unhealthy food imaginable so i felt DISGUSTING the whole trip. Its ok tho im back home, i got a dog, and im more motivated than ever. I so badly miss starving :( also my homie i kiss on the mouth talks to me on the ohone alot so it distracts me from eating :) !! Also new puppy means i have to go on walks :)) !! Im so excited to be skinny omfg. I rlly deserve it after the shit ive beeb going thru 😭. I need to find my suppliments highkey tho.. ion wanna deal w the consequences of my actions 😔..

Im just excited to finally be back where i was 2 years ago, before my ex destroyed me. He had a binge ED and would enable me so badly it was awful. Homie i kiss on the mouth is such good meanspo tho, he is never shitty to me directly just other people 💀 only people whove body shamed him tho, cuz hes naturally rlly skinny and struggles to put on weight. I work 10 hours tmmrw tho so im gonna have to eat atleast something :( but im off the day after so i can be free and restrict 🙏🏻 i needa go grocery shopping for food, I literally have nothing, only the disgusting shit my mom bought. I need my confort foods bruh

[bebeselene]

Life update

So holy shit life has been wild. Im breaking one of my biggest morals. Dont fuck ur coworkers. 💀 hes rlly hot tho and very motivating. Me and hom do have opposite problems tho, i need to lose weight and he feels like her has to gain weight but struggles to. Hes a very motivated person sonit inspires me to actually be motivated, also motivates me to lose weight cuz even tho hes much taller it still feels like hes smaller than me and emotionally i cannot handle that 💀…

But yeah im excited i need to go to the gym so bad but its raining and i cant ride an electric bike in the rain 😭 idk life weird i just wanna be skinny already, i need that post breakup glowup 💀

Me and said guy made a pact to be confident in our bodies by summer so we can go to the beach and just yk not hate ourselves 💀

Life is getting alot better i havent been this happy in a long time. All i need now is to learn how to drive 💀

Im gonna be alot more active on here now since the post breakup trauma is pretty much gone, i love lacking object permanence 💀 also bpd splitting is rlly helpful, anytime i do miss my ex i can just rewatch the recorded breakup, its only audio as it was in my pocket but still 😭.

Gonna research some new methods to aid in my glow up, i cant wait for the day i can comfortably show my before and afters :)

[bebeselene]

Update

Broke up w my boyfriend, he had a binge ed and therefore made mine worse, and he was verbally and emotionally abusive so like womp womp, on the bright side ive lost a few pounds and my appetite is gone so I haven’t eaten in 43 hours.

Im excited for this new beginning

[bebeselene]

I recently ran into some relationship issues because of my bpd, and i cannot afford the expensive ass therapy I specifically need. So i have decided to become my own therapist 😌

Issue is im realizing how much better i was mentally when i was ana. 💀

Like bro i deadass need to just get my shit together cuz my binge ed is so much worse than ana, like with ana i was so clear minded. HOW IS MY BRAINFOG SO MUCH WORSE WHEN IM EATING MORE BRO ITS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OPPOSITE.

So im gonna actually follow thru because ive been upgrading myself. This year isnt gonna be another year of my prime wasted.

Ik i shld wanna do it for myself, but thats hasnt worked at all. Soooo now im living in spite :3

Some new affirmations for the year of bettering mysef out of spite :3

I am hot as fuck

I am skinny

I have the best body in any room i walk into

I have the prettiest face

I am successful

Everyone whos ever hurt me or even just doubted me is screaming crying and throwing up rn

I am perfect

I am who ive always dreamed to be

I have my own apartment with my boyfriend

I am making so much money

Thats all for now 😌

[bebeselene]

Ive been doing rlly good, idk my weight cuz my scale is at home and ive been staying w my boyfriend but ugh im doing so much better mentally and i can actually see myself as pretty sometimes. I hate that i cant feel even slightly pretty unless im starving. Im glad that where i work we have so many low cal options, full ass meal only 200 cals 😌

[bebeselene]

weightloss life hack

order a slutty cosplay you have to wear to a convention in 2 months

[bebeselene]

The past idk how many weeks have been awful ive finally managed to get my diet in check. It’s painful looking back and seeing all the progress ive lost. But now i just gotta keep moving fowards and remake my progress.

[bebeselene]

i feel amazing rn, my self control has been so good and im only rlly craving my safe foods. normally im craving sum shi like olive garden so its nice to be sitting here like "damn i rlly want some lean cuisine or like a pickle"

[bebeselene]

Ed autumn

[bebeselene]

I need to build the habit of going to the gym, but idk where my sports bra is 😭 i have big tiddies (they literally grew bigger when i list 60 lbs the first time idk how i managed to grow bugger tiddies when 4n4 😭) so i need a good quality sports bra but i cannot find mine 💀 my other ones provide no support :,,,)

[bebeselene]

Big life updates

The best thing imaginable is happening ! im moving out. That means i get full control of food in my fridge and pantry ! Im so so excited and grateful for the circumstances of me moving out (wont be sharing details) it truly is wonderful :,)

Ive been slacking with my diet, but im back on track now. Ive been reopening the habits i had from when i had initially lost the 60ish pounds. Shits not easy but im getting better :) i find i struggle more w binging in the summer time, so fall-winter is my perfect time of year to really lock in my habits and lose weight :)

Im gonna try to get back on track of posting daily cuz when i dont post daily is when i end up binging. Im genuinely so excited :)

[bebeselene]

47 hour fast complete, 440 cal grilled chicken wrap ❤️

[bebeselene]

Im almost at rhe 30 hour mark, i havent been able to do this in so long it feels amazing. Logically i know I am hungry and the urges to eat havent been too bad, but at the same time im not at all hungry

[bebeselene]

Ive lost 3 piunds which is not much at all but it feels so good to be loosing weight again omfg