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Shoutout to Aspen Laugh Festival and the Wheeler Opera House for making my week the MOST magical. Comedy forever. ✨ #AspenLaughFest
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This is a picture my mom sent me just an hour before "an employee accidentally pressed the wrong button" and sent the entire state of Hawaii into a panic. If it is so easy to make that mistake, maybe they should rearrange their buttons? I can't imagine the absurd confessions made during the 38 minutes anticipating a nuke, hoping for a false alarm confirmation. My parents closed the windows, made smoothies and sat on the couch. We are just 6 days until we make it an entire year without nuclear war under Trump. Can we make it?! Let's #ITMFA. ANYWAYS! I'm on an awesome show at Finkel&Garf in Boulder this Wednesday 1/17. Be there so we can laugh about our impending melting faces.✨ (at Oahu, HI)
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"2017: The Fkn Sequel in IMAX 3D" in theatres everywhere now. Call your congress peeps, laugh harder and order all of the desserts. Treat yo' self because none of this is normal and we might get nuked. Here's to another 365 days until we celebrate a calendar and stop saying "Merry Christmas" again. Let's rid the world of rapists and racists, and instead fill the world with fried chicken, women's rights and sunsets. My resolution? Work hard to be funnier and apologize less. Sorry but you're welcome. #wtf #itmfa #freetacos4everybody
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Girl Denied Low-Fat Cream Cheese on Spring Break
It was just another normal morning at a bakery on the outskirts of Montgomery, Alabama. Two ambiguously aged, obese young men working behind the counter who were probably named Chase and Trevor, rolled their eyes and groaned weakly as they set up the shop; which I can imagine only involved flipping a few light switches, turning on the coffee maker and placing a few pastries in the display case…
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📍in the middle of nowhere so we could shout absurdities into the void. I'm so grateful for little pups, little brothers, and large man-made lakes (used solely in emergency situations for when the world is on fire, kind of like it is right now, but actually physically on fire). . . #murph_boy (at Gross Reservoir)
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The Ratio Comedy Battle Royale is a wild and FREE comedy event that pits 12 comedians against each other in a bracket style joke off. YOU the audience decide who moves on each round. Always hilarious, always a blast, come party!
Featuring:
Rebecca Robinson Allison Rose Tim Coleman Anthony Siraguse Aaron Maslow Mike O'Connor Timmi Lasley Benjamin Duncan Brian Flynn Evan Johnson Natalia Kvalem Brigid Jennifer Dunn Hosted by the original Bad Dudes, Ian Douglas Terry & Andrew Bueno 8pm - FREE - Hell Yeah
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My Favorite Advice (From HST)
This is one of my favorite pieces of writing and has been from the moment I read it. Recognizing that our goals must grow with our constantly evolving sense of self and comprehension of the world, it is clear that passion is the only true motivation. I always had the intention to live my life through my passions, but was timid to both recognize and expose what I really loved. From the second I identified my passion for writing and comedy, I began exploring ways I can create a life around this idea of success that is happy, healthy and flexible.
Enjoy this incredible response letter from Hunter S. Thompson to his friend Logan Hume.
April 22, 1958
57 Perry Street
New York City
Dear Hume,
You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal — to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.
I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.
“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)
And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect — between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.
But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?
The answer — and, in a sense, the tragedy of life — is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.
So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?
The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.
I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called “Being and Nothingness” by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called “Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre.” These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.
But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors — but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires — including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.
As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).
In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life — the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.
Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN — and here is the essence of all I’ve said — you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.
Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.
So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”3
And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know — is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.
If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo — this merely happens to be mine.
If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that — no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.
And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,
Your friend,
Hunter ”
*This letter can be found in the book "Letters of Note" compiled by Shaun Usher.*
#hunter s Thompson#goals#wisdom#letters#friends#life#think about it#always thinking about this#one of my favorites#letters of note#advice#adapt
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It's your guuurrl, taking the stage at #BoulderComedyShow for the first time. It was special. I'm so grateful for everything involved in producing this show. I'd also like to prematurely thank The Academy.✨ Life; what a ride! (at Boulder Comedy Show)
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Sunday October 29th at Boulder Comedy Show 7:00 and 9:15pm for $5! 2017 13th Street Boulder, CO
#show poster#shameless self promo#boulder comedy show#debut#myshow#mike Lebovitz#rojo perez#jo Kimbrell#hippie man#comedy
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TONIGHT! Mike Hammock headlines and I'm opening before a bunch of killer features. It's going to be a great time. 7:30pm Blush & Blu FO FREE
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One Year
October 2nd marks 1 year since I first stepped on stage trying standup comedy, and holy hell what an amazing year it has been! I finally was able to muster up the courage to try something I knew I would fall deeply in love with. This year has been nothing but OUTSTANDING in terms of comedy. I have seen and met a bunch of my all-time favorite comedians, I have performed on so many fun showcases, I have done comedy in Colorado, Hawaii, California and New York, I've attended three festivals, and participated in two contests. I've become the assistant producer to a kickass show and recently began working the door at Comedy Works. And you better believe I have made so many incredibly kind, creative, talented friends along the way! I want to thank a bunch of you jokers, so yes this is one of those long annoying statuses you'll probably only finish if it has something to do with you; I get it.
First I need to shoutout to Brent Gill, who creates and continues to provide me with incredible opportunities to be involved and satiate my constant need for more comedy, for supporting my desire to start standup and for allowing me to hang around Boulder Comedy Show enough to eventually become the assistant producer. I'm thankful for Hassan Dasuki for convincing me to go to and accompanying me to my first open mic. Thanks Tobias Livingston for initially welcoming me into the Boulder scene, putting me up at all of your mics, and letting me close out a few nights with too many minutes. Thank you to Alan Bromwell, Nicholai Roscoe, Matt Cobos, Jose Macall, Cory Helie, Preston Tompkins, David Gray, Ben Bryant, and Byron F. Graham for letting me grace the stage at your open mics; regardless if I sucked air talking about death or made people laugh talking about poptarts.
I'm beyond grateful for all of the people who have given me stage time on their showcases this year in Denver, I really appreciate the space to be funny and the support to grow funnier. (I was also unaware I should post statuses like this, post-gig.) Adrian P. Mesa, Eric Henderson, Kara Williams, Sara Aziza Hake, Aaron Middleton, Dick Black, Louis Beck, Lucas Larson, David Rodriguez, Jo Kimbrell, Cody Spyker and Jacob Rupp.
I have been fortunate enough to dabble in the Hawaiian comedy scene and would like to give my utmost gratitude to the following people for inviting me to your mics, booking me to host and feature on your shows. Shane Lucas Price, Jose Figueras, Patrick Tyrrell, and Erika Swartzkopf. Huge shoutout to my boys Chad Wago, David K Jones, and AJ Nieveswho have invited me to gush over Lost for two episodes on What's Up With That Bro? Podcast. And to everyone for the late-night Zippy's hangs, endless laughs and unreal karaoke sessions.
In addition to all of the fabulous folks previously mentioned, I'd like to express my undying gratitude for everyone else who have been so kind and continue to inspire me to keep creating and growing as a comic and a person. Stephen Agyei, Mo Vida, Aj Finney, Andy Juett (and Sexpot Comedy in general) Derrick Stroup, John Novosad, Geoff Tice, Elena Ingraham Troy Walker, Aaron Urist, Rachel Weeks Sam Tallent, Zac Maas. I know I'm forgetting a lot of you awesome people, but Facebook only let's me tag 50 of you.
And last but definitely not least, Brendan Box and Alex Tatum who constantly watch and take care of my puppy Murph! I would not be able to seize most of these opportunities without your assistance.
I LOVE comedy SO MUCH and I am so fortunate and happy to be a part of such a thriving comedy community. This past year has exceeded all of my expectations and I am beyond excited to see what the future holds! Here's to embracing what you love with everything you've got, pursuing passions and being funny.
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What about the Wolves?!
There is constantly so much chaos going on in the world and often times, we all tend to overlook the important things. For example, what about the wolves? Now, I’m sure most of you are familiar with the reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone National Park, and the positive impact it had on the ecosystem. However, this isn’t about that. This is about the wolves that go unnoticed. The following is a list of Wolves ranked in order.
1. Governor Tom Wolf
Tom Wolf is the 47th Governor of Pennsylvania. Governor Wolf has been focused on three simple goals: jobs that pay, schools that teach, and government that works. Over the past two years Governor Wolf has fought to increase funding for Pennsylvania schools by nearly $840 million while implementing a fair funding formula, in order to begin reversing the devastating $1 billion in cuts made to schools five years ago. He has expanded health care access to 715,000 Pennsylvanians, including increasing the number of insured children by 20%. Wolf is “for the children” like The Wu Tang Clan. Working diligently to fight the disastrous opioid epidemic, he is still chill a chill dude, so he legalized marijuana.
2. The Hungry Wolf (from the popular Duran Duran Song, “Hungry Like The Wolf”)
This hit jam was released in 1982 and has been turning people on ever since (according to the redundant YouTube commentary). It won’t get the party started, but it sure will keep it going. It addresses the honest animalistic nature of dating and sexuality. I’m sure this song also reminds you of your mom. Plus, it has been featured in popular movies, such as “Big Fat Liar” starring Paul Giamatti and who can argue with that.
3. A Lone Wolf
According to the widely trusted source, Wikipedia, “A lone wolf is a person that generally lives or spends time alone instead of with a group.” This term originates from observing real wolf behaviors, thus creating the euphemistic metaphor that wolf behavior and human behavior are synonymous to one another (despite zero biological evidence for this [I am not a licensed scientist.]). “Normally a pack animal, wolves that have left or been excluded from their pack are described as lone wolves.” Lone wolves (the people, not the actual wolves) hold their niche is society, as people are often exclusive. People who can be independent and kick ass despite being beaten down or left out are kickass people. However, everyone loves being accepted, and where there are lone wolves, there are other lone wolves, and hopefully they can collaborate into a cohesive wolf pack, like in the movie “The Hangover”.
4. Endangered Wolves
These guys are obviously overlooked. Being endangered isn’t chill, but I’m sure these sad, dying, little wolves are. I guess I don’t know how chill wolves are firsthand, and due to the headlines about them attacking children, we can assume that seems pretty chill to some people. #SaveTheWolves
5. Wolf of Wall Street
Although the man who inspired this nickname (Jordan Belfort) is a criminal, it was a pretty phenomenal feature length film directed by Martin Scorcese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo was accompanied by a stacked cast in the undertaking of pretending to do hard drugs and insider trading for the entire 3 hours of the movie. Fun fact: The word “fuck” and its numerous conjugations are said between 506 and 569 times, making this the film with the most uses of the word in a mainstream, non-documentary film. Plus, I wrote a paper about this movie without even seeing it and got an A+. The only teacher commentary was, “Have you finished the movie?” (Because I hadn’t, and didn’t talk about the consequences he incurred. Oh well.) While maintaining a 77% approval rating, it’s apparent that this should clearly be ranked.
7. Werewolf
Werewolves are like the Transformers of mythical creatures. This is a public service announcement on all of the ways you can become a werewolf, according to the world’s most trusted source, Wikipedia:
The removal of clothing and putting on a belt made of wolfskin.
The body is rubbed with a magic salve.
Drinking rainwater out of the footprint of the animal in question or from certain enchanted streams.
By draining a cup of specially prepared beer and repeating a set formula.
On a certain Wednesday or Friday, slept outside on a summer night with the full moon shining directly on his or her face.
Here’s ways I think you can transform into a werewolf:
Applying Rogaine frequently and excessively, covering one’s entire body while also ingesting a lot of various amphetamines.
Having a boner lasting longer than 4 hours, with no access to a doctor.
Having hairy and angry Eastern Eurourpean ancestors accompanied by a drinking problem that causes you to wear clothes that are too tight.
Dress up for Halloween.
Witches and curses and stuff, duh.
6. Wolf Blitzer
Reportedly one of the least buzzworthy news anchors on air today, Wolf Blitzer is just trying to do his best. I really appreciate whomever cuts his hair, and I appreciated his befuddlement when Trump “won” the election, despite the backlash he received on Twitter. Also rumor has it that he’s a Ween fan, so points to him for listening to that. But milk toast can no longer be praised in our country, we deserve better than boring. Sorry Mr. Blitzer, I still like your haircut.
8. Teen Wolf
All teenagers are nightmares. That’s a fact. And I don’t know much about this popular Teen Wolf, except that instead of puberty hitting him, he is faced with folkloric nonsense and excessive chest hair growth. I’m not sure if he’s violent, or good at sports. But he is a teenager, and that is bad enough.
9. Big Bad Wolf
His name defines his character, which is cool because it is kind of like a heads up for his unpredictable shitty behavior. First of all, these three pig brothers (we can assume this because they are doing serious construction work, a stereotypically male profession) built these houses on their own, with their bare hoofs. I can’t imagine building anything without thumbs could be very successful, and I’m now revealing a plot hole that I think has gone unnoticed. Maybe the fact that they were pigs negatively impacted the structural stability of these homes, leaving them more vulnerable to strong wolf winds. Regardless, it was not the pigs’ fault. He huffed, and puffed, and blew those homes over, without any appreciation for the diversity of architecture or material. Also, what is the point of that fable? If I remember it correctly, which I probably am not, the moral is just that you should build your home with brick and not hire pigs as your architects or carpenters.
10. Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood
Although great at deception, and having the ability to talk to humans, we cannot forget that he swallowed an entire grandma. He also followed a little girl through the woods and stole her baked goods. The most probable wolf to encounter, and thus the worst.
Spread awareness about the wolves. Tell your friends. Tell your coworkers you don't like. I know you'll tell your mom. #wolves
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I'm hoping the North Korean official is using the word "LITERALLY" dramatically, and incorrectly like most people do. Otherwise, we're fucked...Here's a photo of my favorite beach in Hawaii to distract you from the ongoing chaos in the meantime. #sorryforbringingitup #nothingsreal #isanyoneelseworried #idontwantmyfacetomelt #yikes #literally (at Oahu, HI)
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Why won't Hellman's Mayonaise sponsor any of my special events?! #guyfieribarcrawl2 (at Finkel & Garf Brewing Co.)
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Two great men and one fabulous weekend filled with outstanding comedy. Grateful for all of the laughs, always. #marquisweekend (at Paramount Denver)
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My First Two Minutes
I had my first two minutes on the Comedy Works stage for New Talent Night on January 31, 2017. And holy shit, I was scared. I had only been doing open mics since Mid-October and been on one showcase, in Hawaii. I was not a part of the Denver comedy scene yet, and I was still not really included in the Boulder scene either. I had been gone for the past three months living in Hawaii with my parents. I still had no idea what I was doing but after three months of diligent mic attendance, and doing 15 minutes on my first showcase in Hawaii, I was on the list for New Talent Night. I showed up early to guarantee my spot, as instructed. I was nervous coming down the stairs of Comedy Works in a way I wasn’t familiar. I was going to finally be trying to be funny on one of the most important stages.
Byron Graham was the emcee and as he brought me out to the stage my mouth became instantly dry, almost chalky. I didn’t move the mic stand because I didn’t know any better. I was shaky, and noticeably nervous but I persisted. I forgot almost everything I had been practicing the last three months, and in the middle of my set, when my mind totally blanked, I just said my parents were on vacation. I got a few light, noncommittal laughs that entire two minutes, but my closer landed and I walked off feeling completely unsure but overwhelmingly invigorated.
Two minutes is a lot of time to fill and be funny. But, two minutes seemed short before I started working hard, diligently and consistently. When I first heard the set was only two minutes long, I thought, “How can I make them laugh in such a short amount of time?!” But later down the road, I got some very good advice from a much more experienced comic. He said, “Well… Don’t you want to be funny your first two minutes on stage, regardless of how long you are on stage for?” Woah. He was right. That fresh perspective has been so helpful moving forward in constructing my sets.
Looking back at it, I did my first two minutes far too soon to leave a good or lasting impression. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about this, until I realize no one even remembers me doing it. Since then I have done my first three minute set and I have participated in the Comedy Works New Talent Night, doing 5 minutes and not placing. Every time I step on that stage, I get an indescribable rush, and I hope one day I can absolutely crush that room without any apprehension. Screw Disney World, that little air conditioned basement is the most magical place on earth!
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