beerusspangirlfriend-blog

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

⸘‽⸘BILL NYE SAID FUCK‽⸘‽

this is not a drill. this is not a drill.

on sunday, may twelfth, twenty-nineteen:

JOHN OLIVER LET BILL NYE SAY THE 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂 WORD.

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

“you sank into my soul and found things no one was supposed to see”

— e.e.

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

Don’t keep sending me “Wyd” all day I’m a homebody with no friends tf you think I’m doing

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

((My question is should I trust them or am I gonna regret the fact I'm trusting them sm))

[beerusspangirlfriend-blog]

I guess this is how I'll start off.

Hello.

I recently realized that due to my step grandmother's way of raising me I never really got the chance to socialize with people. I never really had friends.. couldn't keep a relationship etc.

I always thought negative of everyone because she'd lie to everyone I know, in a way.. so no one knew the truth from me. I always assumed I was a nuisance.

My dad died unexpectedly in 2011.. in the one who found him.

Ptsd.

I went through 15 years of abuse and didnt even realize it until this year. I'm 21 now.

When I was 17 I found out that they weren't actually my parents. They are my grandparents and I grew up thinking my biological mother was my sister. And that my siblings were my nieces and nephews.

I was abandoned when I turned 18. Left 4 hours away from my hometown without knowing what kind of mental stuff I had (bipolar, bpd, depression, anxiety etc)

So I always thought I reacted with people the way everyone else does.

I longed for strong relationships but didnt know what it takes to have one... until now.

I was used to have a kid.

The father found someone else but had his family use money to keep my son around him and away from me. I'm currently back in my hometown fighting for him.

I got in another severely abusive relationship afterwards but neither of us understood -how- abusive we were to eachother.

Me not knowing I lacked in communication and opening up. Letting him know my boundaries until it was too late.

Him. Theres so much I could put here but I won't speak of him because he doesnt know better.

I got dragged in and out of his "relationship" 6 different times until I had to make him leave me alone. I lied to him and told him I didnt love him anymore.

It's been 2 years since and he won't leave me alone again.

My point is. I know why I'm different. I dont process things like everyone else does for multiple reasons.

I always held myself as a classy woman. I've always been faithful and loyal.

I've been in a relationship with my soulmate for half the year now. . ((Oh yeah forgot to mention my family is high key empathetic and we supposedly come from a line a psychics as well. I'm also a solitary wiccan of 9 years)

We both know its fate.

But we knew nothing about eachother when we fell in love. And we keep falling deeper in love each day we open up more.

Weve done a lot of changing for eachother. Things we could never bring ourselves to fix before...

But anyways.

My blog is basically going to tell you guys what I go through.

Let's see how this goes.