beneathcandycoatedclouds - Tumblr blog

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i know i’m a broken record but how does nobody listing hawke’s tragedies, or discussing hawke at all, talk about how non-mage hawke was at fucking ostagar

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The problem brought its own solution.

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard | ▶ dev. Bioware

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Something that is making me insane rn about reading all these stories and hearing about innocents that have died after interacting with Solas is like. The point of view we are getting that information

I didn't know until I'd played through DA2 twice and was working on the world state that there was a way to save the Dailish after doing Merrill 's personal quest (I always thought honesty was the best policy with them and told them the truth about what happened). My Hawke was truly trying her best to help people and, to escape with her life and the life of her friends intact, were forced to fight the entire clan in order to escape.

I'm not trying to cleanse Solas's actions because he's not perfect but after listening to vows and vengeance and hearing the sorrow at what was happening to Elio I wondered how many people he couldn't save to achieve his goals, just like the Inquisitor, just like Hawke, just like the Warden.

Hell, it's a different game, but I didn't know there was a way to save Kagha in BG3 at ALL until I was over 500 hours in. There was one playthrough where I stole the statue for the tiefling kids and accidentally got the grove killed. Interactions in DAO where I'd be traveling and all the innocent farmers or mages who sided with us were getting murdered on the road because my attack wasn't coordinated enough. Does that mean that I shouldn't have intervened in the grove and just left the tieflings to fend for themselves? That I should have slit Kagha's throat at the first chance I got because she was a jerk? That Hawke shouldn't have tried to help their friend Merrill, or that the Warden shouldn't have tried to gather allies to defeat the blight?

We don't know all the details for how the veil works. We don't even fully have an understanding of spirits or the fade or magic in the DA world! But Solas, an imperfect but undying immortal mage who was there before the fade was separated from the waking world DOES have a better understanding whether we like it or not - are we really going to tell him he shouldn't try????

I'm crazy about the screenshots from reveals this far where Rook can say "comforting, coming from the god of trickery, betrayal, etc. etc. etc." and Solas - with softness in his eyes and a patience that wasn't there before the Inquisitor and the Inquisition proved to him that they were people too - says, "depending on the story". (Link)

Depending on the story!!! Depending on who is telling it!!!! I'm not going to stop trying to do what I think is right just because you are scared of me messing up in the process!!!!

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— There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are the most amazing, most incredible, beautiful person I've ever met in my whole life.

LOVE LIES BLEEDING (2024) dir. Rose Glass

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It's about devotion and obsession. It's ALWAYS about devotion and obsession. And hunger. It's love with teeth.

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After a long long hiatus, Zelda sketches!

The one where Zelda is looking up to the ceiling is my fav, there is a special kind of longing that came out there.

This comeback was produced by the fact that today is my bday

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I got possessed by the printmaker's urge this past week and have been carving a different block every day. i carved my cat

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thinking more about the psychological aspect of solavellan, and before I start, I'd like to stress that this is NOT CRITICAL of it, I actually think it's what makes part of the dynamic interesting. My word isn't the be all and end all, however, this is just my musings on the topic :] Also, REALLY long post! so, more under the read more lol

From Lavellan's point of view, I would personally struggle to see her trusting another lover or close one again for a long time, if ever again. I don't really think people ever talk about the real impact of the things she goes through, or what solas put her through, and the hurt as a result of it. The relationship is never defined between the two of them, it's always spoken about in vague undetermined words from their companions and poetic elvish between the two of them. Are they lovers? companions? partners? it's really up to the player. Leliana says that "you were close", Sera says Lavellan is "in it." Vhenan means home, heart, it's not a word said lightly imo and he tells you he loves her by their second kiss. It's never an official thing, so how secure can Lavellan truly feel?

This could go both ways when it comes to the break up. Crestwood, as a scene, is so interesting to me because the first portion seems like a man brought to his knees by weakness for the woman he loves. The two of them never cease to touch, fingers entwined, shoulders brushing, skin to skin. It's so reminiscent of how Lavellan matches his Hallelujah cadence. They're two parts of a song singing together. It's a gorgeous scene and it's understandable how so many are angry at how it ends because the whiplash between how it starts and what it leaves you with is severe. Imagine this from lavellan's shoes.

You're desperately in love with someone at odds with your people, who is wonderful and enticing and smart. Loving solas feels like loving the whole world, like being free and connected with the stars. But you don't know what this is. And, if you thought you did, how far can you presume? Is Lavellan always on edge, scared to love him deeper and richer than he loves her? or is she in a false sense of security, assuming his affection is forever hers. So when he not only breaks away your faith and trust in your history, plus potentially the vallaslin, she is clearly deeply upset. This isn't a minor fact that simply can be swept aside. The vallaslin is important. And Solas, even with the best intentions, has hurt her. He knows it and there's a reason why he apologises (bc he wimped out on the real truth). How much more does he know about her people that he has refused to tell her or kept from her by omission? Can you imagine the embarrassment, the utter humiliation of that secret? how many memories of them together where she replays his distaste for her people in her mind, knowing that he has access to knowledge that could change her perception of her past? Its ALOT. and thats even before the breakup.

Solas is not kind about the break up. It's rushed (impulsive to me) and doesn't do their connection justice. His composure cracks in places and it's very unlike him. It absolutely blindsides the player, so imagine being in Lavellan's place, AFTER THE VALLASLIN? personally, I wouldn't have been able to function. I half suspect that a sad, calm Lavellan is also in shock or disassociation. Because how else do you cope? The lack of communication between them alone is enough to raise my eyebrows. He promises answers. He confides that she saw through his mask and doesn't tell her what was real, and what was fake. He has given her a kernel truth whilst keeping her in the dark. Everything he told her could be a false, imaginary polite mask or it could be the truth. Where does it end? Where does he begin? Where does she stand?

I don't know if everyone has experienced what it's like to be ghosted or for a friend to simply disappear one day, but it changes you. I say this as someone who has both been avoidant as well as anxious, but you never recover. Someone disappearing like that makes you doubt any reassurance that people won't just evaporate from your life. So when Solas just disappears, the game's single conversation with Leliana feels a little lacking to me. I understand that they can't really dedicate a lot to it, I get that, so I'd like to fill it in. At first, it's search parties. Solas wouldn't just leave her like that. He promised her answers. He started another mural just before they left for corypheus. He didn't intend to just leave, surely.

Days, weeks and months pass. The question is worse than the truth. Is he dead? Did he use them? Was he being truthful when he spoke to her in those ruins, or another polite mask he could hide behind? Is it better if he's dead or better than he didn't deem her worthy enough to even say goodbye? We, as the players, obviously know this isn't true, but she doesn't know that. Does your lavellan assume the worst and be overcome with grief that her one love, her heart, her home, was nothing more than a lie of omission? or is there anger there at his betrayal of her trust once more? I seriously doubt it was easy to forget or dismiss. That kind of disappearance ruins your trust with people. Something. Anything would have been enough.

Again, this is all my opinion on how these emotions would play out and DEFINITELY NOT canon nor do they have to be! But I seriously struggle to see how Lavellan could even come to heal from these wounds within even a two year time skip. By the time of trespasser, almost everyone has left her side. She's almost entirely alone again, save Cullen and Josie (and leliana if she's not divine). And thats okay: they all have rich lives to return to. But that must just reaffirm to her that no one will stay. She is alone. How does she trust again?

And then there is Fen'harel. Lavellan's reaction to fen'harel has always lacked the fear I kind of hoped would be there? I mean this isn't just a minor deity, this IS THE antagonist of her entire faith. I'm assuming that she's lost hope in the gods, even though it's confirmed to her that they're real, but that message has been a part of her since childhood. So learning that he is the dreadwolf, again not from him, but from the fragments of his past must cut her deeply.

Her love was never who he said he was, she knows this, but who is the real man? She's never known him in a context where he can truly show her. Her love is fragmented between each identity he holds. Her trust that he is who he said he is fragments with it. The knowledge that not only has he been watching the inquisition, her, for years without a single hint that he lives or is okay must destroy her. Could you imagine how insignificant you must feel to him? And he essentially affirms to her that yes, in the greater scheme of things, his love and hers are inconsequential. They cannot matter to him because he cannot strive from his path. His indulgence was a mistake. And it's undeniably cruel. I love solas and I cannot argue that he was kind to Lavellan because he wasn't. To me, there is no way to see his actions as kind. Understandable, absolutely and definitely without malicious intent.

Lavellan learns that he loved her just as deeply, if not more. He loved her with all his heart and it did not matter. She changed him and it has only brought him more pain. He loves her too much to even allow her near him, to even give himself that weakness. They are apart from each other in an endless distance, only the two of them in the world. No one else.

Obviously, each Lavellan is different, and I've made a lot of assumptions, but I think it's worth considering. How do you love someone again after all of that? How much can you rebuild your faith after what you have learnt. Lavellan has loved a "god" (I know he's not a god, but for all intents and purposes, he has the power of a god and wears an evanuris crown.) and in turn, a god has loved her. And he left her with one last embrace that will leave its mark on her forever, then he leaves once more. Lavellan is alone.

Each love after is met with suspicion, distrust and comparison. Lavellan is entirely changed. How many pieces of her can be taken away until she is no longer herself? Each person wears a new mask she cannot determine. Where do they begin? Where can she find herself?

How lonely it must be to love someone like Solas and be at the other side of an endless distance.

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“Anders was right” “Fenris was right” it’s Merrill. Merrill is right.

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i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes

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another explosive magical artifact, suuure nothing can go wrong

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hi im screaming into my pillow

I thought it couldn't get any better than Reth. Truly. Then Hassian dropped a line on me, then Hodari's romance was difficult and had a lot of steps for the level 2 romance quest. THEN he called me DARLIN'?!?!

SHIT

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Not Najuma CHEERING US ON and pushing him to give you a pin??? How is anyone sane about this

I thought it couldn't get any better than Reth. Truly. Then Hassian dropped a line on me, then Hodari's romance was difficult and had a lot of steps for the level 2 romance quest. THEN he called me DARLIN'?!?!

SHIT

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a breath