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"writing about fucked up things doesnt indicate your values as a person" and "the way you write about things may indicate some of your values" are not conflicting statements if im going to be real

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Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

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i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

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short astro definitions to help you read a chart

PERSONAL PLANETS - Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars (felt on a personal level). OUTER PLANETS - Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto (felt in our environment/generational). BENEFIC PLANETS - Venus, Jupiter. MALEFIC PLANETS - Saturn, Mars. SUN - ego, identity, vitality, being appreciated, the need to shine, drive, self love, self respect, the conscious, what our life revolves around. MOON - internal energy, emotions, safety, instincts, habits, moods, your core, privacy, vulnerability, the relationship with your mom. MERCURY - communication, the mind, information, technology, transportation, negotiation, sense of humor, intelligence, memory, knowledge.  MARS - masculine energy, drive, conflicts, anger, motivation, sexual energy, independence, power, attraction, energy levels, passion, speed.  VENUS - feminine energy, love, art, beauty, attraction, flirting, relationships, money, living space. JUPITER - the bigger picture, luck, philosophy, indulgence, fun, expansion, travelling, higher education, knowledge.  SATURN -  rules, restrictions, lessons, growing up, perfectionism, perseverance, hard work, the relationship with your dad, success. URANUS - the unconventional, innovation, rebellion, intuition, the future, authenticity, unpredictable changes. NEPTUNE - dreams, the unconscious, imagination, confusion, empathy, spirituality, idealism, illusions, mystery.  PLUTO - death & rebirth, transformation, jealousy, sexual fantasies, secrets, the unknown, fear, power, pain, what we need to let go of.   1ST HOUSE - part of your personality, appearance, yourself as seen by others, the way you view the world, beginnings. 2ND HOUSE - possessions, money, earnings, self worth, values, work ethic. 3RD HOUSE - communication, neighbors, transportation, orientation to details, school, home town, short distance travel, self expression, the mind. 4TH HOUSE - home, family, childhood, inheritance, our safe space, parents influence, the past. 5TH HOUSE - feelings of love, creativity, hobbies, talents, children, leisure time, pleasure. 6TH HOUSE - routine, home life, coworkers, planning, organizing, health, fitness, services, relationship with animals. 7TH HOUSE - marriage, commitment, life partner, mirroring, triggers, expectations, close relationships. 8TH HOUSE - death, intimacy, shared resources, debts, taxes, power, personal transformation.   9TH HOUSE - long distance travel, self discovery, new perspectives, art, philosophy of life, ideals, foreign things, the bigger picture, the need to be right.  10TH HOUSE - career, public persona, fame, reputation, boss or authority relationships. 11TH HOUSE - community, friendships, interactions, groups, what we fight for, humanitarians, the future.   12TH HOUSE - past life, being in your mom’s womb, karma, unconsciousness, escapism, self abandonment, enemies, fears, mental health, dreams, forgiveness. MC (midheaven) - the highest point in the sky at the time when we were born, at the 10th house cusp, our most public part of our personality. IC (imun coeli) - the lowest point in the sky at the time when we were born, at the 4th house cusp, most private part of our personality.  ASCENDAND - the cusp of the 1st house and the way you approach life, the way other perceive you, your appearance, an important part of your personality DESCENDAND - the cusp of the 7th house and our romantic and close relationships, who we are attracted to, our shadow side  FIRE - action, quick, driven, listening to your instinct AIR - thinking, communication, listening to your mind WATER - emotions, intuition, safety, listening to your heart EARTH - lifestyle, the familiar, routine, listening to your goals CARDINAL SIGNS - initiators, hasty.  MUTABLE SIGNS - adaptable, indifferent.  FIXED SIGNS - determined, stubborn MASCULINE - active, quick, action. FEMININE - passive, cautious, feeling. ASPECTS - the way planets interact with each other in a chart CONJUNCTION - an easy for hard aspect depending on the planets involved, a planet expressed through another SEXTILE - an easy aspect, we tend to take it for granted  TRINE - an easy aspect, a talent, flowing energy between two planets, things we are content with  SQUARE - a hard aspect that creates tension and motivates us OPPOSITION - a hard aspect that alternates the energy of the two planets involved CHIRON ASTEROID - the wounded healer, where we have a hard time in life, but end up inspiring others from our rise from the ashes  NORTH NODE - this life’s karma, our life purpose, the things we are moving towards, the things we should learn in this lifetime, what brings us most satisfaction  SOUTH NODE - past life karma, the things we are familiar with, what we should move away from, our comfort zone   BLACK MOON LILITH - ultimate feminine power, things we repressed when young, but that we need to reclaim. CERES - dwarf planet, grief, parenting style, the way you like to be nurtured and nurture others, gardening, nature, lack of mothering.  VESTA - focus, dedication, organization, small things or lack of focus and insecurity. JUNO - your ideal partner, long term relationships, commitment, beauty, denial, betrayal, power imbalance.  PALLAS - cities, balance, owning personal power, talents, strategy, unique solutions.

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Alice Notley// Colette// Meleager// Walter Robert // Michaela Leventis// Victor Hugo

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Coughing Up Planets, Samantha Fain

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Tony Hoagland, from Application for Release from the Dream; “The Complex Sentence”

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“We don't fall in love with people because they're good people. We fall in love with people whose darkness we recognise. You can fall in love with a person for all of the right reasons, but that kind of love can still fall apart. But when you fall in love with a person because your monsters have found a home in them- that's the kind of love that owns your skin and bones. Love, I am convinced, is found in the darkness. It is the candle in the night.”

— C. JoyBell C.

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Vincent Van Gogh // Clarice Lispector

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i hope you find your way in this world. i hope one day you find your home.

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I don't want someone who loves me. I just want someone who's willing to give me euthanasia injection.

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People keep telling me to live because it's the right thing to do

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y’all the new richard siken poems are so goddamned sad (and also so fucking good, as expected) y’gotta read them.

driveway

heart valve

gun case

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- Hanif Kureishi, from "The Buddha of Suburbia"

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I can't feel anything.

I only wish to stop living, but I know I couldn't just murder myself so I wait and I wait and wait and wait. Nothing happens.

I keep on living with the inability to feel feelings.

Happiness means nothing not only because I do not wish for anything but my death, it means nothing for life will always revert back to the way it was — cruel and merciless. I will always suffer.

I'm forever stuck here.

The fact that I can't even die immediately feels so infuriating.