best-wizard

[best-wizard]

are you ever scrolling through tumblr and you have a thought and immediately lose it so you have to scroll back up to give your brain the conditions under which it originally created the thought so you can bring it back

[best-wizard]

i just listened to all the music thats ever been. my favorite was a song a little girl sang to her cat in greece in 1286. my second favorite was from a ceremonial performance in modern day ethiopia, from 22000 bc. i also liked STEELY DAN.

[best-wizard]

Fuck you, City of Ur!

If you're dumb enough to buy a cartload of copper this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Ea-Nasir's Imported Metals!

Bad deals! Low grade copper! Thieves!

If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Ea-Nasir's, you can kiss my ass!

It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker you'll fall for this bullshit! Guaranteed!

If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ass!

Bring your deposit, bring your sealed tablet, bring your messenger! We'll send him back!

That's right, we'll send your messenger back through enemy territory!Because at Ea-Nasir's, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!

Take a hike to Ea-Nasir's, home of challenge pissing! That's right, challenge pissing!

How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment!

Don't wait, don't delay, don't fuck with us, or we'll turn you into a eunuch!

Only at Ea-Nasir's, the only merchant that tells you to fuck off!

Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you make a donation to the palace, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Go to hell! Ea-Nasir's Metals: Sumer's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in Mesopotamia! Guaranteed!

[best-wizard]

due to inflation the answer to life the universe and everything is now 48

[best-wizard]

[best-wizard]

DNI if you support: the enemy

[best-wizard]

I step into the crime scene once again, and just like last time... it's a mess. The bastard's killed again. They call him The Artist... man's sick in the head, thinks he's gonna be the next Michelangelo. His "canvas"? The human body. Maybe I'm just not "cultured" enough. But when I look at this mess of gore and body parts, all I see is... wait holy shit from this angle it looks like a fish! Ohhhh it's like a perspective trick! Oh shit that's so cool. I mean. Ahem. It's not cool enough to justify murdering twelve innocent... oh my GOD from THIS angle it looks like a MONKEY! It's like, two in one! How'd he even DO that, this guy's a genius!!

[best-wizard]

*meek guy* does anyone know if we have inherit the earth tomorrow

[best-wizard]

loop 298

[best-wizard]

Anyone wanna be fwb (fuckin wizards babey) ?

[best-wizard]

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

[best-wizard]

[best-wizard]

[best-wizard]

Yeah it's because you're evil, evilwizard. You should try doing your best, like me.

none of you even care about my lore 😒

[best-wizard]

[best-wizard]

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

[best-wizard]

Humans need to invent more permanent stat increase potions. Like let me find a potion that permanently improves my strength or intelligence.