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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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kiss (stucanje)

@stucanje / nonverbal prompts / accepting.

When will Half Of Him learn that He is a very easy-to-break human? It doesn’t matter how many times he or his troopmates or his flock-subjects or His troopmates or His flock-subjects tell Him that, He always always ALWAYS forgets and does something stupid-dangerous-bad like this!

What are You doing. He hush-hisses at Him. He wants to scream at Him but he can’t because Half Of Him has His paws on a venomskin, and if he screams then that venomskin will maybe get scared and His human skin will maybe get burnt and He will maybe no longer get to use those clever human paws!

Joy-peace-love-delight, He hums back, and no! Not joy-peace-love-delight, stupid Half Of Him, doesn’t He know what the person He is touching can do to Him?! Why does he even need to ask that — no, of course not, Half Of Him is too busy loving-loving-giving-loving to think about how quickly His paws can be hurt when they are on a venomskin and so close to long jaws…!

Your paws…feel nice, the venomskin hush-chirrs to Him. She is not wanting-wanting-wanting for His affection like most people are, but He is very good at scratching ( as he and everyone else knows ) so she nuzzles into His touch anyway. It makes him feel a bit bad for being protection-scared like this, and it makes him feel even worse when she hail-calls him because she is one of his flock-subjects now so he has to trust that she will not hurt Him. She is also one of Monster-King’s flock-subjects-that-once-were who do not like humans though, so he can’t trust her to not hurt this human who is very so much precious to him; Precious Thing, stop touching her…! You…feel nice.

“Relaxed-content-pleased,” Half Of Him says with His scent. Then, when it becomes too much for His scent to hold, He says it with His voice and body and — just as he thought He would — His teeth.

( Half Of Him can be really clever, sometimes. So clever that it’s hard to understand or even think about.

This is not one of those times. )

What? The venomskin croaks, confused-troubled-uneasy. She stops nuzzling in and starts bending away. Precious Thing doesn’t immediately realise and so doesn’t immediately follow. Good. You threaten me? You are threat? What? What?

Her head is finally not cradled by His paws and that’s when He realises. Awwnosohrisohri, He chatters. He still smells “relaxed-content-pleased” but there is a hint of guilt now as He reaches for her. Come back, come back—

Like he’ll let that happen.

Not-threat! He pushes himself into those paws, ignoring the startled toohfss! that comes from Half Of Him as he does. The protection-fear is gone now that they are not touching; there is only protection-anger and stupid-kind-loves too much-stupid mine that I love and cherish! annoyance. Not-threat! He repeats, and coils around his easy-to-break human to rub fresh “mine-protected, not-threat, MINE” marks all over Him.

The venomskin rises just a little from her threatened-threatening crouch and tilts her head down. Not-threat?

Not not not-threat, he assures. Half Of Him is trying to climb over him to get to her but it’s too late now because even though she knows that he is not-threat, she is still confused-troubled-uneasy so she chirps a cautious farewell and retreats. Now the protection-anger is gone, too.

He turns to Half Of Him, fully prepared to shriek about how stupid-dangerous-bad that was and how He shouldn’t be touching a venomskin ( especially one who is Monster-King’s flock-subject-that-once-was that does not like humans ) and how it’s still too early for his hurt flock-subjects to really trust not-monster humans — except Half Of Him is looking at him all smug-fond-amused-teasing. Why is He smug-fond-amused-teasing and not annoyed-exasperated-reluctant like He usually is when he stops Him from doing something stupid?

Toohhfsss~ He warbles. No no no, he doesn’t like it when He warbles his soundname like that, it means He is going to do something He shouldn’t—! Wuhryujehh-uhs-buhd~?

I don’t understand You. Now he’s the one moving away from Half Of Him, confused-troubled-uneasy. But I don’t like it, stop it, what are You planning!

He chatters some more, voice light and airy with teasing-teasing-teasing, before He stretches His paws out to him. Come here, come here! He croons, and he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t know what He is going to do, but he does ( very, very slowly ) anyway because he trusts that it is not anything bad.

Half Of Him smells like “love-fond-joy” when He places His paws on both sides of his head, so maybe it really isn’t anything bad. Then He stoops down to press His mouth against his scales and yes, it really isn’t anything bad.

I love You! He says with that pressing-of-mouth-against-scales ( Dragonkin told him what it meant ). He says it again, and again, and many many many times again before He leans back to chatter and chortle and tease some more.

( Maybe he won’t scold Half Of Him for doing something so stupid this time.

Just this time. )

#stucanje #( quietly hehes #surprise!!#as promised...a cute thing for u julie!#i feel like i did okay with articulation here despite it being so late kdlsjkf #venomskin = threadtail btw! they...as implied...secrete a poisonous substance through their skin when threatened #so u can see why toothless is so Panicked haha #i enjoyed writing this a lot so i hope you enjoy reading it too u v u )#* v / building paradise.#* dragonspeak / answer.#* dragonspeak / ic.#* ic / para.#long post #* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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hey stingray.. u should.. talk about.. ur opinions about how hiccup and toothless grow together as a pair over the course of the movies... and also perhaps ur thoughts (again) about how the third movie agrees with or conflicts against ur views on their friendship and their development..

the httyd films do a wonderful job when it comes to showing how hiccup has grown over the course of his friendship with toothless, and it is very heartwarming to see. toothless’ growth, however, isn’t as explicitly displayed and it is easy for many to mistake what is arguably character development / progression for character degradation / deadlock. in this essay, i aim to rectify that by pointing out a few of the many things toothless has learnt and become for the better through his friendship with hiccup.

flskdjf no but for real thank you for sending this in julie! i feel like…a lot of people equate toothless’ ‘softening’ over the years he spends in berk to Domestication™ ( he’s tamed / trained / made accustomed to humans / literally any other related word that is not ‘domesticated’, lads…i’m no expert and maybe it’s just a case of semantics but domestication is an inborn rather than acquired trait that appears over the course of many generations, lads… ) and like. it makes sense! toothless isn’t a human so him acclimatising to living with them sure would count as Domestication™ but. consider this…dragons aren’t humans…but they’re sentient…self-aware…not as much as humans maybe but they’re clearly on a similar level. that softening? to me, it’s not ‘taming’ so much as it is toothless learning that trust and empathy are just as powerful + effective as domination and apathy.

i’m not saying that toothless isn’t not, to some degree and by human definition, tamed. living in a dragon-receptive, enriching environment like berk has absolutely had some effect on things like hunting style, reactions to threats, and cognitive processes in general; the shift in focus from surviving each day to actually doing more than just surviving + the fact that environmental enrichment has been proven to promote brain activity through increased synaptogenesis means toothless literally cannot think like a typical non-berkian dragon. i just. strongly dislike how people think of toothless more as an animal than someone who is simply non-human. the distinction is hard to explain but like. from what i’ve seen, for them, emotional and cognitive growth is Bad. toothless can’t not be the wary, mysterious dragon we see in the first film. he can’t be ‘downgraded’ into a playful nerd who doesn’t immediately harm every human that approaches him.

it. says A Lot about their Edge ( “a character opening up to literally anyone? unacceptable!” ) + their understanding of interesting and realistic characters. like? opposing qualities in a character aren’t? mutually exclusive?? a toothless who is an adorable fucking dweeb and a toothless who is majestic and takes no shit from anyone aren’t! mutually exclusive! they can be! the same toothless! a character! can have more than one (1) facet! god just. this notion that toothless trusting hiccup + berk’s humans enough to be vulnerable around them is somehow inferior to toothless Being Wild And Alone Forever is so! overrated! let jaded characters learn how to be soft and trusting you cowards! let characters who have been lonely for their entire life learn what and how it is to be connected you cowards!

maybe i’m looking too deeply into toothless. maybe it’s because i write him and toothless ( as anyone with self-awareness would ) sees himself as a person, not as an animal distinctly separate from a human. i don’t fucking know but i don’t appreciate it when people narrow toothless, a lovely character with an identity outside of ‘dragon who was befriended by a human’, down to literally just that.

flkdsjg okay enough complaining…more expanding on + gushing about how Best Tier this interspecies friendship is. i’ll try to leave my headcanons out of this but if i happen to not succeed in doing that you can’t blame me for doing what canon was too afraid to do ( which is explain things and make sense )

so first off! can i just talk about how important hiccup and toothless’ bond is, not just to people like me who would fucking kill for more media content with a strong emphasis on platonic soulmates, but also to the characters themselves? i have seen a lot of people make very logical, very probable inferences about toothless being hiccup’s first actual friend but please also consider the idea that hiccup might be toothless’ first actual friend, too!

we don’t know a lot about toothless’ past in canon but there are some things that can be confirmed for sure / with 99% surety:

he was separated from fellow night furies at a young age.

i say this with 100% certainty lmao there is no other way to explain his estrangement with his ‘night fury side’, which in httyd3 is depicted as his keen unfamiliarity with his species’ mating dance.

not the best depiction but i’ll give dreamw.orks a reluctant pass for that because although courtship rituals are genetically hardwired ( i.e. toothless inherently knows what ‘steps’ to take and what to do ), if he hasn’t ever seen one initiated before he probably would not know what to do when one is initiated to him ( i.e. he has no context for these ‘steps’; he doesn’t actually know that they’re a part of a courtship ritual ).

ig there’s also that thing about him not knowing he can harness lightning or whatever, but the fact that the first thing that popped into my head was that mating dance scene when i thought about how httyd3 depicted toothless’ disconnect with his ‘night fury side’ probably speaks something of how much they handwaved away any explanation for that phenomenon + consequently lowered the mnemonic impact of it

he was as much of an outcast in the red death’s nest as hiccup was in berk.

this is said with less certainty than the assumption above it but like. in the first film, hiccup says toothless “never steals food, never shows [himself], and…never misses” and we see toothless destroying human weapons / constructions. it all sets toothless up to be this Ultimate dragon to humans but can you imagine what that looks and sounds like to a dragon who is part of the red death’s flock?

“never stealing food?? what the fuck, courts danger?? do you want to die??? the queen’s gonna eat you what the fuck!”

i hc that she doesn’t eat toothless because she associates his presence in raids with more dragons coming back ( as she should because destroying human contraptions that trap / kill dragons makes it harder for them to. y’know. trap / kill dragons ), which equates to more food being brought back

so she makes one (1) exception for this quietly defiant but very amusing flock-subject

and everyone’s probably aware of that but they’re also like WHAT IF THIS IS THE DAY SHE CHANGES HER MIND BRING SOME FOOD BACK I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER EATEN!!

“what! are! you! shooting! at! it’s just weird dead-bark and metal! and that’s dead-bark and still-fire, what the fuck at least shoot at human dens if you’re gonna shoot at dead-bark!”

it’s very obvious to us humans what most of the contraptions we see in berk are used for but to dragons? dragons who don’t have the same cognitive processing and are probably too busy trying to gtfo with some food to figure out what this weird human shit does?

listen. we see toothless disarming humans. the dragons see toothless doing something they don’t understand for reasons they don’t understand.

HM DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR

okay he probably wasn’t an outcast per se but he was. definitely avoided.

basically, toothless was alone just like hiccup was!

so yeah. they changed the world with their friendship but their friendship absolutely changed their worlds first. that fact alone is delicious enough but then you look at what their relationship is actually like and god! finally_some_good_fucking_food.jpeg

i love! the comfort! the faith! the trust! the ease in which they touch and calm and talk to and fly with and sleep on and just…be with each other. we don’t see it much in httyd because duh, prologue but. there’s this sense of…complete and utter security in their bond by the time httyd2 comes around. they know each other so well. they love each other so much.

hiccup, completely unafraid of the plasma blasts detonating dangerously close to his fairly immobile, very vulnerable form. hiccup, trusting in toothless’ faith in him as he splays a simple hand out to stop him. hiccup, “TOOTHLESS!” / “HEY! you left my dragon back there! he can’t fly on his own! he’ll drown!” / “we have to head back for my dragon!”

toothless, willing to support hiccup’s decisions even if they are stupid af. toothless, trusting in hiccup’s judgement and ability to defuse situations where he would have exacerbated them. toothless, so ready to shield hiccup from harm from anything or anyone.

hiccup, terrified for toothless even as he grieves for his father. hiccup, ignoring drago, ignoring the bewilderbeast, pleading one more time for toothless. hiccup, willing to die reaching if only to have toothless reach back. hiccup, “please. you are my best friend, bud.” / “my best friend.”

toothless, sensitive to hiccup’s upset and wanting so badly to make it go away. toothless, waiting as the haziness becomes clearer, waiting for the touch, the face, the voice. toothless, willing to fight “the strength of will over others” to reach back. toothless, “he’s challenging the alpha!” / “to protect you!”

god there’s so much more but if i listed every single detail about their friendship as observed in httyd2 this answer wouldn’t be ready for posting for like. at least a week

and even before they reach that stage, those decisions in httyd that go from hesitant to confident…

hiccup, tentatively trusting this dragon to eat the fish and not his fingers. hiccup, sticking around because he’s got no better place to be in and no better company to be with. hiccup, reaching and reaching and reaching.

toothless, wary and mistrustful but willing to give this human a chance. toothless, mimicking hiccup rather than completely disregarding him or chasing him off. toothless, slowly…cautiously…hopefully…reaching back.

hiccup, throwing his cheat sheet to the wind and relying on instinct and trust alone. hiccup, standing tall under astrid’s doubt and saying with full conviction: yes. hiccup, casting his helmet and viking status aside because he can’t not see a bit of toothless in every dragon now. hiccup, jumping onto a burning ship with no goddamn fucking hesitation to free a trapped toothless. hiccup, falling into the fire of his own creation, into the end of a centuries old war.

toothless, putting his faith in this human who has never once flown in his entire life and then putting even more faith in this human who quite literally throws caution to the wind. toothless, climbing out of the cove not for himself but for hiccup. toothless, going against instinct and swallowing his fire because hiccup screamed “NO!”. toothless, terrified for his hecking life but willing to “stay with me, buddy, we’re good, just a little bit longer” and “hold, toothless…NOW!”. toothless, falling into the fire with hiccup, determined to make this the end of one thing only.

PLUS SO MUCH MORE. these are only from the first two films alone; gotnf gives us even more Good Content and i’m just! fuck! i love two dweebs! i love hiccup and toothless so much!

and now for specific character growth / developments that i will never get over…i won’t talk about hiccup because i am nearing 2000 words BUT TOOTHLESS…LISTEN. toothless never used to drink “have mercy on others” juice. he never used to drink “don’t shoot or maim or otherwise injure when provoked” juice. he never used to drink “give others a chance because everyone deserves a chance” and “not everyone is out to kill you or hurt you or take everything you love and cherish away from you” juice. but after bonding with hiccup? he’s hooked! he’s so hooked! he is more willing to lean into faith rather than doubt! he is more willing to believe in an after rather than a never! he is more willing to compromise rather than overlook! he is more willing! to empathise!! i’m so emo!

i already talked a bit about how he comes to trust enough to be vulnerable ( i.e. not constantly guarded / cautious ) around berkians and like…can you imagine how big of an achievement that is for someone like him? for someone who has been alone for so much of his life? for someone who knows what it’s like to be forced to be vulnerable for someone they don’t trust at all? I’M SO! EMO!

HICCUP FINDING STRENGTH IN TOOTHLESS? TOOTHLESS FINDING STRENGTH IN HICCUP?? MmMmMm that’s some good shit ( Good Shit ) right there!!

i have…a lot more screaming about their friendship + love for each other to do but i’m tired and you can tell so i’ll wrap this up with some more opinions on httyd3′s Bad Tier handling of toothless’ character and the consequent portrayal of his bond with hiccup! i know you’ve already read it julie but if anyone who’s read to this far hasn’t already seen it…maybe take a peek at my first essay™ here…

i haven’t seen the final movie in a while so my memory of it might be a little shit but i’m glad that they at least maintained some element of that gentle ease / security / comfort we see in httyd2. definitely not as much as i’d hoped, but i would’ve been able to deal with that — maybe even justify it — if they hadn’t also insulted hict.ooth’s friendship for the sake of a ‘love at first sight!’ romance i can’t get behind multiple, multiple, MULTIPLE times.

i failed to address this in my first httyd3 critical post BUT LIKE. the way EVERYONE acts like and states that toothless ignoring / dismissing hiccup was a very natural, logical consequence of him being interested in the light fury ( which he. defs would stop being after she nearly killed what is literally half of him oh my goOoOod ) was so! fucking! insulting! to not only hiccup + toothless’ bond, but also to almost everything this franchise stands for and the characters themselves!

after six years of seeing hiccup and toothless interact with + love each other, do you really think HICCUP’S FRIENDS would say “well, what did you expect?” to toothless leaving?? do you really think that they would imply that toothless only stayed with hiccup because he didn’t have a choice? ‘maybe they don’t understand the weight of their bond, stingray’ AFTER SIX GODDAMN YEARS OF SEEING IT DEVELOP AND DEEPEN??? and maybe they don’t but surely they understand how important toothless is to hiccup and wouldn’t make a callous comment like that RIGHT?? god i’m so ready to throw hands at dreamw.orks for having astrid say “he didn’t have any reason to” to hiccup’s “he didn’t leave before” i am sO r e A d Y

also just the fact that IT’S IMPLIED THAT TOOTHLESS ONLY STAYED WITH HICCUP BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE / ANY REASON NOT TO?? it’s so gross what the heck dreamw.orks why bring gotnf up if you’re just going to retcon it i don’t understand!

httyd3 is a good movie in that it is very evocative, has an insanely lovely colour palette + insanely amazing soundtrack, and tries its best to give a satisfying ending to “the friendship of a lifetime”. i love it and will absolutely be rewatching it so many times when it’s released on blu-ray, but it’s not perfect and i could go on and on and ON about the tragedy that is toothless’ characterisation.

flskdjg okay i’ve run out of steam now so tl;dr:

thank you so much for asking for my opinion so respectfully julie this was a delight to see in my inbox + a delight to answer

i love toothless and hiccup

I LOVE TOOTHLESS AND HICCUP

I LOVE! TOOTHLESS! AND HICCUP!

i am never getting over my love-hate for httyd3

#stucanje #* dragonscale / study.#* humanspeak / ooc.#wrow this is.#2.6k words long i'm #you can see my articulation and thought process just slowly deteriorate over the course of this post flskdfj #but i will stand by everything said here...#the beginning and ending is a bit. salty #but i don't. think it's too much salt!#* humanspeak / answer.#long post #httyd3 spoilers #this deserves to be in my hict/ooth tag so in it goes!#* alone: we are good / together: we are BEST.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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i’ve been in bed listening to fire emblem soundtracks all day and. listen. concept: fire emblem au where everything in httyd is pretty much the same except the dragons are manaketes forced to fight a war against several warrior tribes for their own tribe leader, a divine dragon who fell into degeneration.

toothless still being shot down by hiccup during on of their nightly raids...except instead of losing a tail-fin, he loses his dragonstone and is stuck in dragon form for an extended while. which is. Not Recommended since stewing in their power ( i.e. staying in dragon form ) for longer than is appropriate is how manaketes start degenerating in the first place fsdkfj but hiccup manages to forge, anoint ( literally “make magical” through hexes / blessings ), and gift him another in the end so it’s all g!

hiccup bonding with this weird semi-humanoid, mostly-draconic being...the two trying to figure out how to make this v unstable human-made dragonstone work together...even when they finally perfect it, when toothless successfully stores his power in it and is able to fully shift to his more humanoid form, it requires hiccup’s complex set of incantations to be able to work again. basically, toothless cannot freely move back and forth between his two forms without hiccup there to ‘fine-tune’ his dragonstone.

i have a Lot more thoughts and feelings about this au...but if i try to voice them in my current state it’ll literally be garbage word vomit so i’ll just...leave this here for now

#* humanspeak / ooc.#do any mutuals play fe here or am i rambling into a void flsdkjf #hghgh i'm glad i had most of this post prewritten because wrow i am So Out Of It #i love! being sick! : )#i have linked...to three songs #if there's anything you should get out of this post it's that those three songs have Nice httyd vibes #* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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kiss

nonverbal prompts / accepting.

Humans are the very much most strangest things ever. It’s not something that has changed since he first saw one, and it hasn’t changed even now that he is nesting with them. If anything, being and living and breathing with them has only let him see that they are even stranger than he thought! He doesn’t understand so many of the things they do and so many of the things they are — like how they can be so clever-good-skilled and so stupid-silly-bad at the same time.

Humans can take the shape of anything around them and put it down in nonsense-but-not-nonsense markings. Humans can build a den from nothing but dead-bark and metal and small stones only. Humans can make good fangs and paws and flight-tails like they grew them themselves — can do so many amazing, impossible, never-thought-of things — but they can’t talk for real or mark for real or even sing for real, and how is that possible? How can they be smarter than the oldest elder and dumber than the youngest hatchling?

Even just then, Half Of Him was being a clever-stupid human.

He was making those useless-but-not-useless markings on one of His many dead-skins ( he thinks He was capturing the shape of a nightfallen, but he is a bit dazed from looking at something that strange for so hard and long so he can’t be sure ), and he wanted to let Him know that he is content-pleased-cherishing so he licked a “You that makes me content-pleased-cherishing” mark onto His face and trilled I love You~ Except stupid-silly Half Of Him didn’t say it back. No, stupid-silly Half Of Him said amusement-exasperation. Said I am relaxed-content. Chittered awww-toohfsss! then pressed His mouth against his scales and leaned back to tease how’s that? Like that pressing-of-mouth-against-scales means something other than absolutely nothing.

At least His strange I am relaxed-content baring-of-teeth human word meant something ( even if that something was I threaten you ), at first! This nothing-word-nonsense-thing is just a nothing-word-nonsense-thing! Ugh, now his snout feels itchy-weird, he doesn’t liiiike it…

That, he snorts and tries rubbing that itchy-weird feeling in his snout away. That—…that! He doesn’t even know how to describe it, it is so strange-new-weird! It isn’t a real word because it doesn’t mean anything, but maybe it is a human word? One they made from nothing like how they make their dens from nothing? It doesn’t make sense because even though they can’t speak for real, they speak enough that people like him can understand them, so why would they need to make a word from nothing? Humans are the very much most strangest things, it is so very much confusing! If it really is a human word, though…

With one final stroke of his paw, he wrinkles his nose and turns to Precious Thing. Tilts his head the slightest bit up. Very, very gently presses his jaws against His head-fur. That. That is? That means??

#dragetunge #( fsdkjf this has the potential to be a starter but is written like a drabble idk what i'm doing anymore!#writing this...made me v happy...i hope...it makes you happy too!#fr though thank u for sending this in it was so cute <3 #as always...it's Late...u know what that means )#* v / halves together.#* dragonspeak / answer.#* dragonspeak / ic.#* ic / para.#long post #* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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[…] yours is the word that never dies / but burns and burns and burns.

Max Wallis, Modern Love (via zuiol)

#* dragonscale / innermost.#* alone: we are good / together: we are BEST.#* you: a mountain; sky; sea / i: still climbing; learning; drowning.#( hey now.#stoick.#also. hiccup post-departure #berk post-departure #toothless...moves on from the grief but he won’t ever — can’t ever — move on from some of the best years of his life #you think he’ll let berk be forgotten? you think he’ll let that nearly-utopia be forgotten??#you think he’ll let the only time he’s witnessed dragons successfully and happily nesting with humans be forgotten?#nah babe!! nah!!! )#* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

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shove (stucanje)

@stucanje / nonverbal prompts / accepting.

He wakes.

( He is not sure what from, but he wakes. )

Why is it so cold?

( It reminds him of something, this waking. )

Where is he?

( Reminds him of…of—? )

Right, he is at that sea-king’s nest! That sea-king who is the alpha of Half Of Him’s dam. That sea-king who welcomed a foreign nest-leader and His consort into his territory. That sea-king who looked at Half Of Him who was being stupid and rude and not paying proper fellow-respect and said I like you anyway. That sea-king who— that sea-king who has been fell—!

Nononono, where is He, where is—

Oh, it’s okay, He is over there with His dam and sire.

Where is that bigger maybe-not-monster monster? Precious Thing was challenge-pleading it before, was claiming I defy you whilst coaxing listen to me in that too dangerous way he very so much hates, but it is gone now so maybe He won? He always does when it comes to challenge-pleading maybe-not-monster monsters — always somehow soothes them with His love and makes them not-monsters for real — but He and Dragonkin are saying “UPSET-GRIEVING-HEARTSICK-SAD” with their entire bodies and voices and scents, so maybe He didn’t? Maybe He didn’t win? Where did the monster go then, if He didn’t win? Would it just leave even though it won??

Why why WHY is this so confusing! What was he doing if he can’t remember this?! What did he wake from if he just now woke?! Ughhh, Half of Him should have just let him shoot that bad monster He maybe lost to from the start!

But maybe he did shoot it? Maybe he shot it and killed it ( he doesn’t remember doing that but… ) and that’s why it’s gone now? He can feel the after-burn of a bolt smouldering in his throat, and the air is foul with the stench of charcoal meat and broken skin and burnt fur and singed metal, but why is Half Of Him UPSET-GRIEVING-HEARTSICK-SAD if the monster is dead? He wouldn’t feel all of that even for a monster, would He? Ugh, too much did this happen? and not enough yes, this happened; why is this so confusing—!

Troopmates! Troopmates are here, they can tell him what happened…?

Consort, Friend hails.

What happened? Kind-Witted asks.

No, they can’t.

Sun-Heart hurries past him. She smells like softer “upset-grieving-heartsick-sad” when she collapses beside Half Of Him. Gentle Paws who is next to him starts smelling like that too, then Struts Always starts, then Breathes Mischief starts, then Breathes Trouble starts — even Bark-Paws starts smelling like that and now he knows he didn’t shoot the monster because they wouldn’t feel all of that for a monster. Half Of Him is so stupid-kind that He might ( and he doesn’t know Dragonkin enough to tell if she would ) but his human troopmates absolutely-definitely-very very surely would not.

So what happened? Who are they—? What did he—?

They are spilling all of their upset-grieving-heartsick-sad on top of Half Of Him’s sire but His sire is not dead? His sire can’t be dead?? His sire is a king! A human-king! There is no other human here strong enough to fell him, no other human-king here strong enough to fell him. How can he be dead?

Half Of Him’s sire is not dead but he is lying awfully still. Maybe Human-King is asleep ( ? ) like how he was before? He doesn’t know how someone like Human-King can sleep during a time like this, but he didn’t think someone like him could sleep during a time like this either and he did, so…

Wake up, he chirrs. His footfalls as he approaches Human-King are slow and careful. They mourn you but you are not-dead, wake up, wake up!

The scent of death gets stronger and stronger as he comes closer and closer, and even though he knows that Human-King is not dead, he has to wonder if he is very badly hurt. Is that why he is so still? Because he is very much hurt and needs the rest?

Wake up, he chirrs again. A bit quieter. A bit more desperately. It smells so so so bad here at Human-King’s side that for a very terrifying moment, he thinks maybe Human-King really is dead. But he can’t be. He CAN’T be. He moans, wanting-wanting-wanting, and pushes his snout into thick, familiar fingers. Wake up, come back—

NO!! Half Of Him bellows and—?

Pushes?

Him?

Away?

He doesn’t understand.

Half Of Me? He is a little sad but a lot confused because Half Of Him would never push him away. He is His half! Half Of Him! He wouldn’t…do that…? What? What?

GO AWAY! No, why is He saying that, doesn’t He know how much that hurts? Hearts-in-each-other shouldn’t be pushing away when they are UPSET-GRIEVING-HEARTSICK-SAD like He is — they should be coming together to hold-share all that feeling and make each other less upset-grieving-heartsick-sad! Why is He saying that…? GO AWAY, GO AWAY!!

Half Of Me…! He tries leaning into those paws. Tries crooning comfort-peace-calm to the HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME of Half Of Him’s heart-soul. Tries loving Him as He loves so many things He shouldn’t but does anyway because He is that kind and warm and giving. Let me comfort You, let me make it better for You, let me love You…!

Except those paws don’t want him. That heart-soul doesn’t want him. Half Of Him doesn’t want him.

NO, YOU BAD BAD BAD THING! Stop it stop it stop it, it hurts so much, stop it, please—! I AM ANGRY-SCARED-HURT, YOU VERY SO MUCH BAD THING, GO AWAY!!

There’s a grunt as He hurts him one last time, as He places paws he thought would never do this on his head and pushes like He is pushing a fang deep into his neck.

( The only thing is — he thinks as he flees from those paws, as he flees from those eyes and those words and that stench and Half Of Me, you are hurting me and Half Of Me, you are killing me — the fang would hurt less. )

#stucanje #( so uhhhh #i really was going to make this cute.#make this playful shoving #but i am in a Mood so #listen. this scene wrecked me the first time i saw it in the cinemas and that feeling has never really left #i just hope! my writing captured it well enough!#also i think the bewilderbeast's control feels v different from the red deaths'#so much so that toothless doesn't actually realise he was taken control of at first #so uhh yeah #there are so many things about toothless' thoughts here that i wanna explain BUT I HOPE MY WRITING GIVES ENOUGH EXPLANATION FOR U...#as always a fair warning about articulation because Wowie It's Late #but eeeenjoy! )#* v / the alpha protects them all.#* dragonspeak / answer.#* dragonspeak / ic.#* ic / para.#long post #death cw #* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

Note

touch

nonverbal prompts / accepting.

He is tired. Tired and hurt and shamed and relieved, and that is the only reason why he doesn’t object. That is the only only reason why he does nothing when Half Of Him is swarmed. That is the only only ONLY reason why he simply sags into the ground and watches as the not-monster humans take Half Of Him away. There is an instant urge to follow, of course — a fear of forgotten-left-behind that almost has him rising and trailing after them to keep Him close — but there is also a taste on his tongue that shouldn’t be there, blood in his maw that shouldn’t be there, and he lets his tired-hurt-shame-relief melt away his fear as it melts away his protests.

They don’t take Him away too far. Just over to the edge where the sea touches the land. He doesn’t understand why they do that when all of their floating dead-bark things are burnt and sunken, then they suddenly bare their fangs and he doesn’t understand why they do that when the bad, most worst ever threat is already dead. Is there some other threat he can’t sense there? It’s all so very strange to see, especially when they start shouting nonsense and telling each other no, my fang is better! for what feels like ages and ages, but finally one of them wins ( why were they challenging each other in the first place?? ) and the defeated put their fangs away.

Sun-Furred approaches him then and he asks her, Why did they do that? She doesn’t answer ( at least, not in the way he wants her to ) but she does sit beside him and rub her paws along his head. The cold of them feels so good on the heat of his scorched scales that he leans as much as he can into her and forgives her for not answering.

They watch together as the other humans fuss over Half Of Him and do a lot more things he doesn’t understand why they do. They all seem to be worried-focused on His hindleg though, and Sun-Furred’s smell says “peace-sad-relief” instead of “panic-distress-fear”, so he thinks maybe all those things he doesn’t understand are for fixing what he didn’t-mean-to-but-did-anyway broke.

There’s a pause where nothing happens. Where they all just look at what they’ve gathered and done. Until the human-king takes the fang he was burning out of the fire a gem-crowned helped them make and—

Something about his heat must feel very good to Sun-Furred too because she all at once moves until she’s crouched over his head and stretches her forelegs across his eyes.

Stop that, he snorts and tries to gently shake her off. It’s nice that she likes his heat so much but also not because now he can’t see what they’re going to do next. Off, let me—

The yelps of several scared-upset-confused people cut through the air and he stills.

Sun-Furred exhales from where she’s sprawled against him. She tries stroking calm-peace-quiet into his scales but it doesn’t work because she’s trembling and her scent is turning sour with hurt-grief-distress, and that’s all he can take before he’s leaping to aching paws and throwing her off.

What is?! What is?! He searches the area for a threat, searching and searching and searching, except there is no threat: only grim-looking humans and horrified-sounding people and a still sleeping Half Of Him and the stench of too much blood— oh.

No.

No no NO NO!

STOP! He roars and rushes towards the humans by the sea-edge, voice high with RAGE-PANIC-DISTRESS. Those very so much bad monster humans are hurting Half Of Him!! Why are they hurting Half Of Him?! STOP STOP STOP STOP!!

He doesn’t get very far before too many monsters pounce on him and hold him down. He opens his jaws to shoot but then they hold those down, too. He can’t do anything but screech and cry and wail and moan, and he hears other people screech and cry and wail and moan back, but none of them are stopping the monster humans; why aren’t they stopping the monster humans?!

He should’ve never let them take Him. He thought that they could maybe fix Him because He is a human and they are humans too, but he was so so so wrong; why did he let them take Him, why are they hurting Him when they should be healing Him, why why WHY WHY?!

Sun-Furred approaches him again and he screams at her, WHY?! She doesn’t answer ( never in the way he wants her to ) but she does kneel beside him and brush shaking paws along his ear-flaps.

The cold of them doesn’t feel so good anymore.

#stodr #( me: oh these prompts are so cute!#my brain; my hands; and toothless: Not Anymore #FLSKJD GOD IDK WHERE THIS CAME FROM #thank you for sending this in though! i'm love writing drabbles about toothless' httyd experiences u v u #also i have no idea if hiccup would actually wake briefly to scream from pain during his amputation but #i'm just...gonna assume that he's in his coma now so No Screaming #toothless is happy to do all the screaming for him anyway so (: )#* v / freedom taken; freedom given.#* dragonspeak / answer.#* dragonspeak / ic.#* ic / para.#long post #amputation implied #blood mention #* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

Text

companion / @flyjaeldr

The den is quiet when he enters. Quiet and hushed and peaceful and still: a very welcome change from the too loud, too rushed, too demanding, too much scenery that makes up most of his days now.

He calls a gentle hello to what he hopes are empty aeries. When he receives no response in return, he nearly sinks into relief — nearly sinks into the breath that has been eluding him, the slump that has been pushing down on his wings, the strained exhaustion-frustration that has been stalking his steps for practically the entire day.

Except Companion is right there by the crackling den-fire ( watching and waiting and watching and waiting ) so he doesn’t sink so much as he lightly stumbles.

Companion! He greets maybe a bit too loudly. A bit too shakily. He glances back towards the den-opening and considers leaving for a moment, if only because he doesn’t want to start the conversation he so desperately needs to have with the fourwing, but his fear is swallowed by his exhaustion-frustration in the end and he resigns himself to a slow, careful approach.

Companion, he repeats. Softer, this time. Firmer, this time. He sits when he is close enough to and wants so badly for one of their human denmates to jump out of their aerie or burst into the den so he has an excuse to not continue.

Nothing of the sort happens.

Your Alpha-that-once-was. He pauses. Wants so badly one last time. He was. Good?

#flyjaeldr #01. flyjaeldr #( toothless vc: listen. i'm not saying i'm struggling as an alpha or whatever but i'm struggling as an alpha how did yours do it #flsdkj hello and thank you liking the sc!#apologies for the wait :'c #i hope it's alright! if you can't work with it or need smth clarified just hmu!#also you don't have to match my length! u v u )#* v / building paradise.#* dragonspeak / ic.#* ic / para.#* looming / queue.

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bezzuba · 6 years ago

Note

what does toothless think of astrid?

as the first openly, sincerely hostile monster-human he and hiccup swayed + convinced on the whole “everything [humans] know about [dragons] is wrong” topic, toothless respects and appreciates the hell out of astrid! she was the one who proved to him that hiccup wasn’t just a once-in-a-lifetime thing. she was the one who proved to him that humans can indeed change for the better. ( that’s not to say that hiccup himself didn’t prove anything to toothless; it’s just that hiccup is so kind and giving and empathetic and GOOD that toothless thinks of him more as a “too good to be true” miracle than an example of the virtue in humans. )

he values her input and judgement almost as much as he does hiccup’s. i say almost because if hiccup and astrid were to explicitly disagree on smth then toothless would be on hiccup’s side, no doubt or questions asked ( unless hiccup’s being stupid — e.g. “no i don’t need to rest despite my illness i’m fine to go flying!!” — in which case yeah nah bye hiccup ), but like…any instances where he’s on edge? where he’s agitated and feeling threatened and ready af to shoot? where he’s confused and feeling jittery and ready to do smth but unsure of what to actually do? he seeks for her…well, not guidance or permission or anything like that, just. confirmation. a compromise, maybe, if no confirmation is offered. he seeks for her knowledge and ideas on how to proceed in this situation as much as he seeks for hiccup’s and his own.

and it’s obv not the same now because he does get used to human touch but i like to think that immediately post-httyd, astrid was one of the only humans whose touch was actually welcomed by toothless. his underside and tail stayed off limits but he wouldn’t like…skirt out of reach or keep her in his sights at all times / constantly growl while she patted him. he welcomes all human touch now but she, the other Big Five riders, gobber, and valka and stoick but. y’know are still the only humans he trusts enough to let them touch his vulnerabilities + tail. ( hiccup is the only person — human or dragon — he trusts enough to relax around when he touches his vulnerabilities + tail. )

ofc, their relationship didn’t start off that way. toothless’ first impression of astrid was very, very, very poor indeed :’)

it was hate at second sight! hate! at! second! sight! he was already wary of her when she rudely intruded into his prison-made-den-home but then she Hurt Half Of Him For No Reason At All and wow! the resentment was so real he was 150% willing to maul her right then and there aslkdjl

for real though, the only reason he stopped and considered an alternative route ( i.e. make her Fucking Regret ) was because of hiccup’s insistence that she not be harmed + her very wise choice to not grab her axe and try attacking again. like. i joked about this with julie but his thought process during that entire scene was absolutely smth along the lines of:

AHH H HHHH!! ! YOU!! YOU HURT MY THING THAT I CHERISH!! YOU HURT PRECIOUS THING!! I WILL KILL YOU! !

HALF OF ME! STUPID STUPID, STEP AWAY!! ! AWAY AWAY AWAY!!!

[inordinate amount of internal + external screaming]

it would be so easy to kill it…! so…! EASY…!!

but precious thing does not want???? precious thing protects??

uGHhHghHHHHH

fiiiine, this monster that my precious thing protects and likes, i will not Kill or Hurt

I WILL MAKE SORRY-REGRET-SHAME.

I WILL MAKE LIKE-BACK.

and we all know how what happens after that!

toothless doesn’t…immediately like or warm up to her. he’s very vindicated and smug when she says “okay! i’m sorry! i’m sorry! just get me off of this thing!” ( which he hears as nonsense but her scent screams “FEAR-REGRET-DISTRESS” and her voice is full of REGRETREGRETREGRET, I SUBMIT! so. good enough ) and doesn’t really feel anything other than pleased satisfaction when they’re really flying, but. that moment where she leans into hiccup and trusts them both? where she carefully reaches down to pat toothless' side? where she is nothing but awe and wonder and admiration and you are amazing? there is…the slightest bit of joy. the slightest bit of relief. the slightest bit of hope and forgiveness and maybe you are not a monster.

their understanding of each other + their relationship only get better from there on out! she goes from monster to not-monster to friend to troopmate! they obv don’t get as close to each other as they do / are to their respective partners but toothless is not shy about his affections for astrid and would absolutely defend / aid her with all that he has.

also i wasn’t going to talk about this but i feel like if i don’t, somebody’s gonna jump into my inbox and bring it up anyways SO on toothless’ thoughts vis-a-vis astrid playfully / fondly punching hiccup from time to time: he’s fine with it so long as his tiny human isn’t actually hurt ( which he defs would be able to smell even if hiccup didn’t say anything ) because dragons? pounce on each other and wrestle and play-fight for fun / affection pretty much all the time?? they aren’t rough with each other but they aren’t gentle, either. toothless probably wasn’t appropriately gentle with hiccup at first until he realised he was actually hurting him with the force + weight behind all his bats and nudges and shoves and slumps. he’s softer now with humans in general ofc, but his idea of play and affection is still very physically involved so astrid being ( just the right amount of ) physical with her own displays of fondness doesn’t bother him.

ldkjfd this answer is very longwinded but i hope it satisfies you! as always, tl;dr:

toothless very strongly dislikes astrid at first

once he begins warming up to her though, he doesn’t stop ( warming up to her )

he adores and respects her a lot! she’s his favourite human troopmate ( where troop = a group of dragons who “flock together” ( i.e. protect each other, share food with each other, possibly share territory together, etc. ) simply because they really like + trust each other )

#* dragonscale / study.#* humanspeak / ooc.#tyvm for sending this in!#it's always nice to think about how toothless + astrid's friendship has developed over the years #also it's late...so u can't blame me...for subpar articulation!#* humanspeak / answer.#long post #* looming / queue.

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