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breaking apart all feels too familiar it’s like every fiber of my being already expects it like greeting a long-time friend and saying “long time, no see” or “it’s about time” though i can’t say “i’m glad to see you” no, i can’t i want to kill this pain that’s coursing through my veins and threatening to obliterate my heart god, how many times can a heart break?
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Burn, baby, burn Let the fire consume all this pain inside
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My life is just an eternal rainy season with the sun peeking beneath the dark clouds once in a while. The ghosts of my past all float to the sky to cover the light and when it rains, I drown in the tears I've shed for them again and again. That's the story of my life: just a repeat of pain and torment. This life--my life--is a curse. And I don't know how to keep on living this way and why I should even keep breathing. What is the point to all of it?
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the lines are blurring into gray i’m rushing towards a void once again (is there no end to this kind of life?) i’m giving in, letting go to the sins that have always been hounding me why try to be good when life is cruel? why try so hard to do the right thing when everyone else is just out to hurt you if you let your guard down? maybe it’s time to play the game and play to win if it’s the only way to protect my heart from shattering endlessly.
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i cried in the office bathroom today.
haven’t done that in a while.
or have i ever?
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