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NSA AU Quotes

*They're all singing for this one*

Tony: What did it say?

Cassie: Take a bus, to Los Angeles!

Cassidy: We're not on the bus!

Tony: I know!

Cassidy: To Los Angeles!

Gregory: We blew up the bus!

Tony: I know!

Gregory: To Los Angeles!

Tony: So, what are we supposed to do?

Charlie: ... Wait for another bus?

Evan: What if we blow up that one too?!

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*When they're older teens/working jobs*

Elizabeth, handing Gregory an ice cream: Here's your vanilla kookaberry.

Gregory: Oh I asked for chocolate.

Elizabeth; Oh, no problem. *grabs the vanilla ice cream with her hand and throws it at Abigail (pigtail girl)*

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Ellis: hey, question.

Tony: What?

Ellis: Is the 'S' or the 'C' in scent silent?

Gregory: Oh, fuck you. Now I'm going to be thinking about this all day.

Evan: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Cassie: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Charlie: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Elizabeth: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Cassidy: Elizabeth isn't allowed to talk anymore.

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Elizabeth: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Gregory: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERYTIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

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William: So, walk me through what happened again.

Elizabeth: Well, Cassidy and Gregory were fighting with Mike again and this situation happened.

*flashback*

Michael: Anything that comes out of your mouths is stupid!

Cassidy and Gregory: ... Michael Afton.

*flashback over*

Tony: Needless to say, we all now laugh at inappropriate times when we think of it, so we weren't laughing at you, Mr. Afton.

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Elizabeth: Today's radical Saturday!

Evan: ... it's Friday though?

Gregory: IRRELEVENT!

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Evan: I wrote a list on why I love my friends.

Michael: ... Ev, this is FIFTY(50) PAGES!

Evan: yeah, I'm sorry. Cassidy told me to keep it brief.

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Gregory: What do you guys think happens if I pour powdered milk into carbonated water?

Cassidy: Try it.

Tony: DO NOT!

Gregory: My cereal is loud and demanding to know why I would sin against nature and God so thoughtlessly.

Cassie: Please tell me you didn't taste it.

Gregory: I did.

Ellis: How'd it taste?

Gregory: Bad.

Sammy: The fizz from the carbonic acid in the water splits the CO2 and H2O over time, and carbonic acid as-is is an acid sour. By adding milk to sour water, you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat it didn't taste good.

Gregory: Behold, I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the title as the shittiest alchemist currently alive.

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*When they're older. They all got arrested, most likely Gregory's fault*

Elizabeth: So, now what do we do?

Evan: I'd say call Mike or dad, but honestly? I feel safer in jail...

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More UCN Incorrect Quotes

William: Wait wait! Before you kill me, I have one question.

Nightmare: What?

William: What do nightmares taste like?

Nightmare: Pepsi.

William:... Wait rea-

*Nightmare kills him*

Nightmare: You said you only had one question.

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Henry: Well, this is it.

William: Either sweet freedom, or screaming death awaits us on the other side of this door.

Henry: If this doesn't work, William, I'll see you in Hell!

William: Too late, we're already there! Or at least I am.

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Jack-O-Bonnie: We broke Hell.

Nightmare Fredbear: HOW?!

Jack-O-Chica: This is why we can't have nice afterlives.

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Balloon Boy: Hey, did I ever tell you guys that I've memorized PI to 1000 decimal places? It's 3.14159265358979-

Nightmare BB: Hey, JJ, do you have a piece of paper on hand?

JJ: Do you want to write down the number?

Nightmare BB: No, I want to write a reminder to myself to smother Balloon Boy with a pillow in his sleep.

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Funtime Freddy: Touching is my third favorite thing to do to things.

*Everyone stares at him*

Funtime Freddy: In case anyone was curious, second is licking.

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Funtime Freddy, about Afton: We could lock him in the file cabinet.

Funtime Foxy: How would he fit?

Funtime Freddy: In three separate drawers.

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William, to Rockstar Foxy: I would like to patronize your wares.

Dee Dee: By 'patronize', he means buy from you, not mock you. I mean, someone, probably Afton, will end up getting mocked, but that's not what we're here for.

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William: Can you stop mocking me like this?!

Cassidy: Well, how should I mock you? I take requests.

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Nightmare Fredbear: Every time I yell at the other nightmares, I put a quarter in my 'no yelling' sock.

Nightmare: ... Where did you get the sock?

Nightmare Fredbear: I stole it off Afton's body when Nightmare Foxy killed him again. Anyway, soon I'll have a weapon to beat people with.

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Camp Cretaceous Incorrect Quotes

Because my boyfriend got me into a new show (I haven't seen Chaos Theory so no spoilers for that)

Darius: Let me see what you have!

Ben: Explosives!

Darius: NO!

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Sammy: Kenji, can you google how many ounces are in a cup? My hands are covered in flour.

Kenji: One sec. Ben!

Ben: Yeah?

Kenji: How many ounces are in a cup?

Ben: Eight.

Kenji: Thanks!

Yaz: What was that?

Kenji: Ben's basically a walking google, unless we need dino facts, then that's Darius' department, but now we don't have to google anything ever again!

Brooklyn: Uhhuh, why don't you ask Ben what the definition of codependency is next?

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Kenji: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Brooklyn: How am I supposed to know?

Yaz: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Brooklyn:... *sighs* You wouldn't be trapped.

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Kenji: HELP! I TOLD BROOKLYN I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Darius, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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Sammy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Kenji: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Yaz: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Darius: Actually, I did the math, Kenji would have $225, not $0.15.

Kenji: Fam I am right here...

Brooklyn: if I had a dollar, I'd by a can of soda.

Sammy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Brooklyn: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Sammy: :(

Ben: Hold on, Darius. Kenji would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Brooklyn: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Yaz: You could buy whatever you wanted with $22,500.

Darius: Yeah, and she wants a can of soda and an apply juice.

Yaz: Apply juice to what?

Kenji: Directly to forehead.

Ben: Great chat, everyone.

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reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

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NSA Lizz: Aww they're both so cute!

To NSA lizz, Want to see what your future kids look like?

NSA Lizz: Of course!

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To NSA lizz, Want to see what your future kids look like?

NSA Lizz: Of course!

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Would any of your versions of lizz like to see what her future children look like?

Probably the NSA AU Version

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Do any version of Cassidy in this world you’r AU’s that have a younger siblings?

Not really in my AUs, but I think if she did, they'd have a similar relationship like your Cassidy and Nick

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A question for NSA Cassidy what’s your. Relationship with everyone?

NSA Cassidy: I'll go in order from who I'm closest with to not.

Evan: He's my best friend, and he keeps winning me prizes from the claw machines at his dad's restaurant.

Gregory: We meet in detention, so he's basically my partner in crime. We've both got ideas on how to get Michael back for bullying Evan.

Cassie: She's pretty nice, and she and Evan get along pretty well. Though sometimes she does help with our pranks, especially if it's after Michael decided to scare her too.

Elizabeth: Don't leave both of us unsupervised together, you will regret it. She and Evan have that weird 'twin connection' thing, so sometimes Evan will stop what he's doing, look at me and go "Lizzie is doing something stupid again" and I'll just go "Without me?!"

Charlie: She and I but heads sometimes, but overall she's alright. Pretty loyal friend.

Tony: He's more of Gregory and Cassie's friend. He's pretty smart though, and is trying to convince the rest of us to go cryptid hunting, which I'm totally fine with.

Ellis: Once again, more of Gregory and Cassie's friend. Though he does join in with the pranks and chaos we cause. Has help me thrown rocks at people.

Michael: Hate him. He and his friends are jerks who need to be taken down a few pegs.

Markus (Bonnie Mask in this AU and the MTYD AU): My own jerk of an older brother. He and Michael unfortunately get along really well, I'd say they're the closest out of their friends.

Abigail (Pigtail girl in my AU): She's annoying. She likes to make up stories about how Mr. Afton and Mr. Emily's animatronics will come to life and eat us, which just makes Evan's fear of them worse.

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Not So Alone Incorrect Quotes, Again.

Gregory: I think we're missing something.

Evan: Teamwork?

Cassie: Cohesion?

Cassidy: A general sense of what we're doing?

Gregory: Snacks.

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*Girls sleepover*

Elizabeth: Let's summon a demon.

Cassidy: Fuck yeah!

Cassie and Charlie: NO-

*boys sleepover*

Gregory: You guys think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Evan: You're a hazard to society.

Ellis: And a coward, do twenty!

Tony: *staring at Gregory like 'this is the idiot i'm in love with, God help me.'*

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Gregory: What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should've been named ADHD poster child of the year.

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*when they're adults*

Gregory: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Tony: Yes?

Gregory: Well, they're out of my medication for five days.

Tony: Oh God no-

Gregory; It's gonna be a fun week!

Tony; I'm going to my mother's.

Gregory: Through sickness and in health motherfucker!

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Cassie: Yes, you're right. It would be messed up if you were a swan, but you were raised by ducks and grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing existed, so you just thought that you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

Tony: Autism.

Gregory: Trans moment.

Ellis: Kung Fu Panda.

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*Featuring: The MC (Missing Children) *

Charlie: Alternatives to "Ladies and Gentlemen?"

Evan: Ladies, gentlemen, and others

Elizabeth: Beloved friends and tolerated acquaintances.

Cassidy: Allies, enemies, and those I'm still deciding about.

Gabriel: Fellow scoundrels

Susie: Ladies, gentlemen, and interesting miscellaneous

Jeremy: Entities of interest

Fritz: A warm welcome to everyone who managed to sneak past the guards

Charlie: Why do I even bother?

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Tony: Being a protective friend is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my best pals, our legs dangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very uncultured of us.

Gregory: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Cassie: Tony, Gregory, no.

Ellis: Tony, Gregory, yes.

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William: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet! Elizabeth: No please! I have a family to feed!

William: ... What?

Michael, exasperated: She needs to feed her neopets.

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Elizabeth: I don't have enough time nor crayons to explain why you're wrong.

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Gregory: Michael.

Michael: What?

Gregory: Michael.

Michael: What, brat?

Gregory: Hey, did you know it only takes two pounds of pressure to drive someone's nose bone into their skull?

Michael: That's- WHAT?

Gregory: Two pounds, that's it, Michael!

Michael: Why are you telling me this?!

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Reblog to bring fairy godpossum blessings upon your followers.

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Can I send ask to the characters in your AU’s?

Sure, just let me know which character and AU

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Hallow

howdy

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WHOA!!!!! i love my friends' ocs

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Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. 

Or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

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Not So Alone AU: Pepsi

Gregory: Kind of fucked up and nasty that vampires drink blood imo. Like, a pepsi cost a dollar seventy five.

Cassidy: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING IT FOR $1.75?! THAT SHITS LIKE $2.30 MINIMUM!

Gregory: Hospital.

Ellis: Who is paying $2.30 for a pepsi?

Gregory: Not me, I'm paying a dollar seventy-five. At the hospital.

Evan: I pay $2.50 but I'm British.

Gregory: I think we're getting off topic.

Cassie: Blood is free?

Elizabeth: So is pepsi if you steal it.

Charlie: Why... Why are you getting your pepsi from the hospital?

Gregory: Because it's a dollar seventy-five!

Gabriel: Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi?

Susie: Why would anyone drink pepsi?

Tony: This is why I'm not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.

1: It's overused and supports the current status quo of typical vampire supremacy: worshipping rich folk.

2: Vampires prey on humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.

3: Werewolves are sexier in my opinion.

Gregory: 🐻

Oswald: Am I having a stroke???

Gabrielle: You might want to go to the hospital then.

Fritz: I heard the pepsi is cheaper there.

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