bitesizedjosh

[bitesizedjosh]

if yall have an ig acc go vote on shadows story! we gotta see this video! its for the greater good (he's @/shadow1975)

[bitesizedjosh]

omg i was literally thinking ab doing this the other day. PLEASEEEE write it, i need ittt

what if i fucked around and wrote a camp rock au about josh 💀

[bitesizedjosh]

Raise Your Flags - jmk

Word Count: 2553 Warnings: None Tags: Fluff, Angst

One of the biggest differences between you and Josh was his ability to navigate any emotional situation. While he grew up in a house that promoted a healthy relationship with feelings, you lived in a house that did quite the opposite. He was taught to express, and you were taught to suppress. Even at your age it was still a difficult thing for you to balance. You had a hard time expressing your emotions properly- confusing one emotion for another, reacting much larger than you needed to in order to build a wall for yourself, etc. It also created some difficulty for you when reading other people’s emotions. If your own feelings were confused in your head, how could you be sure what others were showing was what they actually felt?

Lucky for you, Josh was patient, and always did what he could to make you feel more comfortable with these things. Which is why before you guys were dating, early on in your friendship, he introduced you to the flag system. He had done some research when you guys started hanging out, things he could do to help you navigate your feelings. 

The flag system was built on being able to boil down what you needed from your partner during these situations into one word: green, yellow, orange, or red. Lift a hand, say a color, and based on your limits- both mentally and emotionally- you and your partner would change the way you were handling whatever you guys were dealing with. 

It was a tried and true system, and something you used frequently.

-----

>>Green: ??? Yellow: ??? Orange: ??? Red: ???

“So, I was thinking we could eat at that little outdoor cafe we passed by the other day?” You asked.

You had been on tour with Josh for the past month and a half. You wouldn’t be staying for the whole thing- the tour was almost a year long and you sadly had a life to get back to eventually. But you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see the world with your love. Seeing him perform almost every night was just a bonus.

It was your six month anniversary though you had known each other for far longer. While you wanted to celebrate, you also didn’t want to do anything too crazy since you two had been so tired lately. Being with each other was celebration enough, so you opted to keep the day simple. Normally, the boys would join you for a day out, but they agreed to let you two lovebirds have the day to yourselves to wander the city hand in hand.

“That sounds good to me.” he responded, a smile gracing his face. You pulled you into a hug, arms around your waist, his chinning resting on the top of your head. You swayed back and forth for a few minutes, listening to him sing to you softly. Sometimes, he just wanted to hold you, and you were okay with that.

When you finally got to the cafe, you were relieved to see it was pretty empty. If it was as full as it was the other day, you wouldn’t have been able to get a table. 

Once you were led to your table, Josh sat down on one side of the booth, and you took the other side so you could look at him. A habit you had yet to break. You found something on the menu you’d order pretty quickly, while Josh took his take. This was the perfect opportunity to soak up his features- something you weren’t sure you’d ever get tired of. 

You decided it wasn’t enough so you got up and sat next to him on his side. You slid until you were pressed right up against his side. He instantly wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and turned to press a kiss to your temple. 

He started to turn back to his menu, and with a chuckle said, “You’re clingy today.” 

You tensed. The smile on his face made it clear he hadn’t meant it in a bad way, but those words had been maliciously thrown at you before by people you’d rather forget,  and you weren’t quite able to see past that. You went to put some distance between you two, but before you could, Josh’s grip on your body tightened. 

He turned towards you again, raising a hand to your face to make you look up at him. 

“Green.” 

Relief flooded your body.

“I’m sorry. That was a bad choice of words. I do like you clingy though. I could never get enough of you, mama.” He said, wrapping his other arm around you as best as he could in a booth, and gave you a tight squeeze. 

-----

Green: Everything’s okay. Proceed as normal. >>Yellow: ??? Orange: ??? Red: ???

You heard the laughter the second you opened the front door. You walked through the helm, taking off your shoes to leave them on the shoe rack before proceeding deeper into Josh’s house. The day you had really taken a toll on you, so you snuck up to his room to take a quick shower. After changing into some of your clothes that you had left here previously, you made your way to the living room.

“-and then when the love interest died, I swear she was never gonna stop crying. Poor thing went through so many tissues.” Josh’s voice made you stop in your tracks before you made it into the living room. The boys’ howling laughter only got louder, something you didn't think was possible. You remembered the moment he was recounting- it was a week before your one year anniversary. Cramps had you couch-ridden, and Josh cleared his schedule to spend the day with you watching as many movies as you could.

“Oh, come on! That movie wasn’t even that sad.” Jake said.

“No, I know, I know. But there was nothing I could do, she was on her period, and she always cries at movies.” It was true. You had been on your period, and you did always cry at movies, even when they weren’t really sad. But that didn’t stop the irritating feeling that began climbing your spine. Telling a funny story about your partner was one thing, but did he need to include the embarrassing details? 

You walked into the living room, seeing the boys drinking, which would explain Josh’s slight lack of filter- not that he had one to begin with. Your anger lessened, but didn’t dissipate fully. You took a seat on the couch next to him, greeting the rest of the boys. 

After that, you were silent most of the night, letting out a laugh or a nod every now and then to make it seem like you were present. You were too busy mentally reminding yourself that Josh likely didn’t have any  ill intent when telling that story. Also, you had no reason to be embarrassed by it anyways, periods were a normal bodily function. 

Before you knew it, everyone else had left and just Josh and you were left. You had been so zoned out, you didn’t realize it until Josh sat back down on the couch next to you, turning to face you. 

“What’s wrong, mama? You didn’t say a word all night.” He asked with concern in his eyes.

You blinked a few times, not having an answer yet. You knew you were angry, you knew why, but you couldn’t get it out for some reason. 

Josh raised his eyebrows expectantly, eyes roaming your face. After a moment, he spoke up again. “Flag?”

“Yellow,” you said with no hesitation. 

Josh let out a sigh of relief, grateful to hear it. “Alright, we can work with that. C’mon.” He moved scooted towards the other end of the couch, and pulled you so your head was in your lap. His hands found your head, and began playing with your hair. He knew he would have an easier time getting your feelings out clearly if you were relaxed. Heavy eye contact would only be a hindrance.

“I don’t even know why I’m mad. It’s dumb.” You said, playing with your fingers.”

“No, no. Your feelings are valid, whatever they are. Don’t dismiss yourself. Tell me when you’re ready.” He said quietly.

You took a few minutes. On a surface level, you knew your feelings were valid. But that also didn’t stop the slight shame you felt for being upset over something so trivial. It probably hadn’t even been so much as an afterthought in the boy’s minds, but it consumed your whole night. Focusing on the sound of Josh’s breathing, you collected your thoughts.

“I dunno. I just didn’t really like how you told the story to the guys about me being emotional on my period. It’s nothing really.” You mumbled.

Josh took a moment before replying. “I’m sorry. I hope you know I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I thought it was a cute story. What about it made you feel upset?” You knew he was asking not only so he could avoid repeating that mistake, but also so you could work through your own feelings on the matter. “I guess I just didn’t feel comfortable with you mentioning my period. It kinda made me seem like an emotional mess. God, this is so dumb!” You let out a small laugh, covering your face with your hands. You felt juvenile for being embarrassed.

With your hands blocking your sight, you couldn’t see Josh looking down at you, pride overflowing from his face. You were talking through your feelings with him, and he’d never get over getting to be there for you during that, no matter the circumstances.

He let himself indulge in taking in your appearance, before removing your hands from your face. “It’s not dumb, mama. I’m proud of you for working through your emotions. I know it can be complicated. I’ll take more care in my story telling from now on, okay?”

-----

Green: Everything’s okay. Proceed as normal. Yellow: It’s a little rocky, but I want to talk through it. >>Orange: ??? Red: ???

You stormed through the front door of your shared home with Josh. You threw your shoes on the floor, not bothering to stand them neatly on the shoe rack. You were angrily discarding clothes as you walked further into the house, letting things drop wherever they may. 

When all your winter gear was discarded, you let out a huff and sat on the couch, Josh finally entering the house. Closing the door behind him, he didn’t even take the time to kick his shoes off before following your trail to the living room.

“And what the fuck was that? Are you seriously throwing a tantrum right now?” He spat in your direction.

“A tantrum? A tantrum,” You let out a laugh. “Okay. Sure. Well forgive me for being upset that a random woman was all over my fiance and he didn’t care.” 

“That’s not fair and you know it! She was a fan, she just wanted a picture-”

You stood up from the couch, cutting him off. “Yeah and when her hands started roaming you should have put a stop to it. But no, you reveled in her affection. Hell, by the time she put her lips on you, it’s like you forgot I even existed,” You argued, crossing your arms.

“Don’t act like I welcomed it. I was stunned when she kissed me, I didn’t see it coming. Security stepped in immediately. You saw that.”

“Security shouldn’t have had to step in, you should have! Do you not get that? Forget the band, forget security, forget the fans. If some guy came up to me, and started touching me, kissing me, how would you feel?” 

“That’s different-”

“Why? Because I’m not a celebrity? I don’t get some free pass to do whatever the hell I want?” You spat. You knew it wasn’t going to help your case, but you wanted him to understand.

“Orange.” 

A beat of silence passed before you turned and walked up the stairs to your shared bedroom. You walked into your closet, grabbing a duffel bag. You began shoving clothes into it, not even bothering to take them off the hangers. You grabbed some stuff from your dresser and bathroom. He wanted space, you’d give him space. 

You walked back downstairs passing Josh on the staircase. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He asked.

“You said orange, I’m giving you what you want.”

“Jesus, I just meant that, like, I’m gonna go sit on the porch in the backyard or something, you don’t have to leave.”

“Well, I want to. I don’t want to look at you right now. This’ll be better for both of us anyways. Maybe this will give you time to figure out what you want.” You took a few more steps down the stairs, but paused to look back at him. “I’ll be at Miranda’s. I’ll text you when I get there, so you know I’m safe. Talk later. I love you.”

-----

Green: Everything’s okay. Proceed as normal. Yellow: It’s a little rocky, but I want to talk through it. Orange: We need to take a step back to work through our thoughts. We’ll talk after they’re sorted. >>Red: ???

“Red,” You whispered, tears in your eyes. “Red, red, red!” You repeated, getting louder each time you said it. You didn’t care that you were yelling. You didn’t care that hundreds of eyes were on you. 

“I hate you. This isn’t fair,” You mumbled, leaning closer to him. You looked at him, starting at his head. His hair, every curl perfectly in place. You skipped over his face, wanting to avoid his eyes. The suit he was wearing made you livid. You wanted to rip it off of him. This wasn’t him, your Josh wouldn’t wear this. It was boring, it fit in too well, the material wouldn’t be comfortable on his skin. Your eyes continued, landing on the wedding band on his left hand. 

Your own hands subconsciously went to the matching ring you wore, toying with it. You placed a hand on the table next to you to keep yourself from collapsing as you let out another heart-wrenching cry. Someone came up behind you, placing their hand on your shoulder and giving it a squeeze. A squeeze that was full of pity, meant to console you. But it wouldn’t. Nothing could. 

You braced yourself to take one last look at him- at his face. You studied it. His eyes closed. His facial hair is neatly trimmed. Not a hint of pain anywhere. 

Reaching around your own neck, you pulled off a set of his mala beads- his favorite, actually. 

“Red,” you whispered, one more time, to make a point no one was listening to. You leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on his forehead. 

With shaking hands, you placed the beads neatly on his chest, before turning to walk away from the casket, avoiding the stares and condolences of all of Josh’s loved ones.

-----

Green: Everything’s okay. Proceed as normal. Yellow: It’s a little rocky, but I want to talk through it. Orange: We need to take a step back to work through our thoughts. We’ll talk after they’re sorted. Red: You’ve broken my heart beyond repair, and we can never come back from this.

[bitesizedjosh]

at the end of the day they are literally just four midwestern boys

[bitesizedjosh]

Beating Heart Baby - jmk

Word Count: 577 Warnings: None Tags: Fluff

You awoke to the sun shining in your rooms, birds chirping away in the background. Waking up without an alarm was a rarity- you usually stayed busy. But you had a rare day off and took advantage of it. 

Rolling over, you spread your arm out across the bed in search of Josh. The bed was empty. Odd, since Josh liked sleeping in almost as much as you did. On the mornings you guys shared when you both had no need for an alarm, you often opted to simply share each other’s presence. You’d open the windows for fresh air, and have soft music playing in the background- usually music Josh picked. Quiet whispers passed back and forth between two lovers. 

This morning, however, the house was quiet. Another strange factor. Both Josh and you were always talking, either to each other, to yourselves, to someone else. And if not, music was a constant. Neither of you could stand silence for too long. 

You took a few moments to lay in bed a little longer, basking in the comfort. Eventually, you dragged yourself out of bed, padding over to the connecting bathroom. After freshening up for the morning, which you especially needed considering the things Josh did to you the previous night, you made your way down the hallway. 

Peaking your head into the living room, the only thing you noticed was a lack of Josh, and continued your search. Passing the guest bathroom proved futile, as he wasn’t there either. Once you made your way to the shared kitchen and dining room, you spotted your target. 

Josh was sitting at the dining room table. He was writing something down as he hummed an unfamiliar but happy sounding tune. You did your best to sneak up behind him, walking as lightly as you could possibly imagine. You took a few more steps, and when you were close enough, you peaked over his shoulder. 

Tears flooded your eyes as you put a hand over your mouth to prevent any noise when you realized what it was. A love letter. To you, of course. 

Pouring out his heart was an easy task for Josh, and something he did as often as he could. However, he knew you so cherished the written word, because it gave you a physical reminder of his love when he was away. 

You slowly backed away, a smile on your face. You figured you’d give him a few more minutes before you would come back in, as if nothing had happened. 

The few minutes went by quickly with you scrolling through your phone, trying to catch up on messages you missed while you slept.

This time when you walked into the room, he looked up, and his eyes held so much love for you that you could almost physically feel the warmth of it all. 

“C’mere, mama,” he said, motioning you towards him. “I was just finishing up.” He stood up and pressed a quick but tender kiss to your lips. 

Your smiles both held secrets. Yours, that you had been watching Josh and knew what he was doing. 

His, that he knew you were watching. He loved you, though, so he’d let you think he didn’t know. But it was almost silly for anyone to think he couldn’t feel your presence. Whether you were states away, rooms away, or right behind him- you were his heart, and he always knew where his heart was.