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Normal Dads: Hey, let me teach you how to ride a bike!

My Dad: Hey, let me teach you how to how to hotwire a car and strip it of its radio so you can sell it on the black market!

Normal Dads: I enrolled you in soccer

My Dad: Streets aren't safe anymore, so come here and let me teach you how to pack a punch with my old set of brass knuckles.

Normal Dads: Want to see a cool trick I learned from my dad?

My Dad: Want to see me expertly wield nun-chucks?

Normal Dads: I don't want you to ever get drunk ever, If you smoke pot, you're disowned.

My Dad: I don't want you to smoke pot but I'll smoke it in front of you anyways. Also I hope your first time being drunk is with me.

Normal Dads: Let me tell you about my childhood.

Dad: Let me tell you about your psychic abilities and teach you how to tell if other people are aliens..

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It's a good idea for me to split up text posts between my two accounts so people don't get bitchy about me whining all the time even though they're my blogs goddamnit. But yeah I am really tired and I smoked a cigarette in my room which is a bad idea because no vents or windows so this is just a really bad hour for me At least I have like a bajillion sticks of incense, that's good. But I am too lazy to get up and light another one. Plus I am paranoid that my mom will hear the sound of my lighter and come investigate and she will smell the bad smell (well it's a good smell but whatever) and that's a bad thing because I just got back from being kicked out and that will not help my case even though it makes me uncomfortable being here because my mom is still holding a grudge I think.

Also my dad has come down from Quebec and I'm forced to talk to him and I wish I didn't have to because the only memorable thing he did was release his sperm and activated my egg and even that sucked a lot because I don't want to even be alive so THANKS A LOT DAD.

And he owes me money from last xmas. Dad: Here's 30 bucks, merry xmas. Me: Thanks dad. * legitimately happy for once because yeah cash* Dad: Oh man I forgot the price of gas I am going to need that 30 back. Me: Yeah that's cool I guess.

But whatever, he bought me an external disk drive once so I guess it's cool. 

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Sometimes I wonder if I'd be an attractive dude.

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Charm for Better Sleeping

this is the charm someone wanted to buy from me c: I am currently making it for them this week

Charm for Better sleeping Items needed     •    Lavender     •    Purple flower     •    rose petals     •    cinnamon stick     •    amethyst     •    quartz crystal     •    black cat hair     •    a bell     •    sugar     •    container Steps:     1.    Gather the needed items

    2.    Once they are gathered mix the herbs together “Herbs of protection and good sleep, blend and mix well together”

    3.    Place the herbs into the container then add the stones “Stones of power add your strength to the blend.”

    4.    Add the cinnamon stick “Add your power”

    5.    Add the purple flower “Give sweet dreams”

    6.    Sprinkle sugar inside “Sweet and sound sleep”

    7.    add the cat hair “Protect from fears and dreads”

    8.    Close the container and tie the bell to it “Ring once for good sleep, twice for protection, and three times shall ward off discomfort”

    9.    Chant this to activate the charm

“This charm has great power dreams shall always flower. Let my rest be long and well. With the ring of the little bell. This is my will so let it be done. All discomforts are done and gone.”

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Breadboard found in Central Virginia, by Fantastics Country Attic

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november

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this took forever but it’s TRANSPARENT now :)

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I have been possessed by xmas spirit.

inbox me for a tarot reading.

you know you want one. you want one because it’s free, and you have issues.

so c’mon then.

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I belong in New York

lovE ME OR I’lll cuT U

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from Monsters by Angus & Julia Stone, via Spell