black-magic-osha-employee

[black-magic-osha-employee]

is cooking demons a black magic thing

No, but killing them or harvesting the flesh could fall under black magic depending on the method.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

how do i summon an evil swiss cheese wheel?

*loudly sighing* first you need a spell for a sentient cheese wheel. which I'm not sure if it exists or not, I'm still tired.

then alter it to make it evil. preferably with dramatic flair, because a spell like summoning an evil swiss cheese wheel feels like it needs flair to help power it.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

how do i summon a swiss cheese wheel?

I. Conjuring cheese isn't even black magic! Swiss or otherwise!

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Shout out to the fruitverse, busblr, snomblr, tbcu, OSHAverse, shower thinkers, potatoblr, restaurantverse, completionist, painters, counters, is-this/is-your-post, your-fave, wizardblr, government agencies, and ALL GIMMICK BLOGS

have fun. Role play. Make lore. Don’t let haters get you down. We may be “cringe”, but at least we know how to have fun

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Depends on the timeline you're in, I suppose. And if they're busy and see you and such.

How do I summon Sumerian demons?

Listen. Silly, can I call you that? I'm going to call you that for now. I just enforce the safety regulations. And even then I mostly deal in physical items.

And I'm not dealing with causing a potential catastrophe because you don't know the proper precautions to take when summoning any demon, or the specific demon you want to summon.

If you fuck up, you're either dead, in a fate worse than death, or you potentially owe thousands in fines. So I cannot give you the information you want. And I don't want to. I just woke up. I'm a sleepy guy.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

I mean it might summon Kish. Who is Sumerian.

How do I summon Sumerian demons?

Listen. Silly, can I call you that? I'm going to call you that for now. I just enforce the safety regulations. And even then I mostly deal in physical items.

And I'm not dealing with causing a potential catastrophe because you don't know the proper precautions to take when summoning any demon, or the specific demon you want to summon.

If you fuck up, you're either dead, in a fate worse than death, or you potentially owe thousands in fines. So I cannot give you the information you want. And I don't want to. I just woke up. I'm a sleepy guy.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

How do I summon Sumerian demons?

Listen. Silly, can I call you that? I'm going to call you that for now. I just enforce the safety regulations. And even then I mostly deal in physical items.

And I'm not dealing with causing a potential catastrophe because you don't know the proper precautions to take when summoning any demon, or the specific demon you want to summon.

If you fuck up, you're either dead, in a fate worse than death, or you potentially owe thousands in fines. So I cannot give you the information you want. And I don't want to. I just woke up. I'm a sleepy guy.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

I haven't used this blog in ages but like. I still exist I just haven't had ideas for anyone I write sob

does anyone remember the OG osha blogs [blogs made around 2021-really early 2022] it feels like half of them have died i miss my comrades. where did you guys go. please come back i miss you

[black-magic-osha-employee]

God- I forget how dangerous the void is for young ones without parents.

You don't have to say more, 'specially to someone who doesn't even like you that much. Still feel kinda bad for you though. At least you weren't totally alone but. God.

*There's a knock on the door of Emmet's office, and a man who looks very similar to Kishar pops his head in. He feels eldritch, and is giving off the feeling of awkward politeness* Hi, are you Emmet? Kishar asked me to bring some stuff to you; I think there are a few bags of sweets and stuff, maybe some blankets? They put it in a fancy bag, so I am not sure what is in it.

[Emmet walks to the door, opening it further.]

Ah, Hello there, yes I'm Emmet. Come in, come in, you can just put it over on the desk if you'd like.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Emotion projections? One of the primary ways eldritch beings communicate with other eldritches? Known by instinct?

Did nobody tell you about this?

[The Baffled Emotions coming off of Emmet are immense. Alam had to have been a baby in eldritch terms at some point. Did Nobody teach this man.]

*There's a knock on the door of Emmet's office, and a man who looks very similar to Kishar pops his head in. He feels eldritch, and is giving off the feeling of awkward politeness* Hi, are you Emmet? Kishar asked me to bring some stuff to you; I think there are a few bags of sweets and stuff, maybe some blankets? They put it in a fancy bag, so I am not sure what is in it.

[Emmet walks to the door, opening it further.]

Ah, Hello there, yes I'm Emmet. Come in, come in, you can just put it over on the desk if you'd like.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

[Emmet scowls for a moment, but then sighs, the emotions never lie.]

Listen, I don't like you. But. Emotion projections don't lie. So I believe you. But I still don't like you right now.

*There's a knock on the door of Emmet's office, and a man who looks very similar to Kishar pops his head in. He feels eldritch, and is giving off the feeling of awkward politeness* Hi, are you Emmet? Kishar asked me to bring some stuff to you; I think there are a few bags of sweets and stuff, maybe some blankets? They put it in a fancy bag, so I am not sure what is in it.

[Emmet walks to the door, opening it further.]

Ah, Hello there, yes I'm Emmet. Come in, come in, you can just put it over on the desk if you'd like.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

*There's a knock on the door of Emmet's office, and a man who looks very similar to Kishar pops his head in. He feels eldritch, and is giving off the feeling of awkward politeness* Hi, are you Emmet? Kishar asked me to bring some stuff to you; I think there are a few bags of sweets and stuff, maybe some blankets? They put it in a fancy bag, so I am not sure what is in it.

[Emmet walks to the door, opening it further.]

Ah, Hello there, yes I'm Emmet. Come in, come in, you can just put it over on the desk if you'd like.

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Oh! That's lovely that you found that out, that sounds like it was definitely a surprise. For both of you.

[A door in the black magic osha offices opens, a yawning Emmet walking out.]

Yeesh, how long was I napping for- I had a little dust in my hair-

[They fluff bits of their hair, getting the small amount of dust out of it.]

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Tree children! How about that, not everyday you see that!

Though last thing I recall, yeesh that was hm. Just got booted out of your headspace when I was in there to check up on you a few days before I fell asleep. Was worried since your hair was so short and straight.

[They hug kishar closer for a second]

You seem so much better now though! Guess getting booted out tired me out more than I thought it did.

[A door in the black magic osha offices opens, a yawning Emmet walking out.]

Yeesh, how long was I napping for- I had a little dust in my hair-

[They fluff bits of their hair, getting the small amount of dust out of it.]

[black-magic-osha-employee]

Kish! Nice to see you too!

[She smiles back, returning some of the nuzzle]

Clearly I've missed a chunk of time. Seems I'll have to see what's going on these days.

[She hums quietly afterwards.]

[A door in the black magic osha offices opens, a yawning Emmet walking out.]

Yeesh, how long was I napping for- I had a little dust in my hair-

[They fluff bits of their hair, getting the small amount of dust out of it.]

[black-magic-osha-employee]

[A door in the black magic osha offices opens, a yawning Emmet walking out.]

Yeesh, how long was I napping for- I had a little dust in my hair-

[They fluff bits of their hair, getting the small amount of dust out of it.]

[black-magic-osha-employee]

((I. want to bring this blog back but have no idea how to do it at this point jfhrefkjbewjkr))