black-sun-au - Tumblr blog

[black-sun-au]

Just thought i should put this here as well, love you all and thank everyone for the support

-💖•••••

[black-sun-au]

Maybe this is a mistake, maybe not, but the fact is im leaving for good

The idea of coming back to the au fills me with so much anxiety and shame that i can no longer look at my work in a positive light. Ive tried to draw the au on many occasions and each art piece floods back all the mistakes and lies I've said to innocent, kind people.

I planned to come back next year yet every time i keep thinking about the future, the more my depression skyrockets and I'm filled with so much self- hatred and the actions of my past. If it matters, ive been sober since the callout and have a wonderful therapist helping me. But despite all of this, my self esteem and confidence has dropped and im no longer proud of having my tumblr, twitter and Instagram accounts or even my name. After some advice and numerous chats with the suicide prevention team, i am abandoning the au, the moomin fandom and all of my accounts.

I am writing this to once again to apologize for the people i have hurt and trusts that i have broken. I wish you all luck and happiness in your lives and hope you all have wonderful lives. Never stop growing and never stop being amazing. Things get better and the world would be dark without you.

Taking my own encouragements, I'm continuing to work on myself to gain confidence and have a better self worth than i have had all these years. I will miss you all. But life goes on, and hopefully the next day will brighter than the last.

Im sorry for not being strong and coming back but i need to move on and heal fully for the years of damage that I've caused to myself and get to know the me that hiding in fear and chasing approval. I'm working hard to be a better and honest person and i am once again sorry for leaving but its for the best.

Im sorry to all the people who submitted art and asksto my inbox, but i cannot post them. I am sorry, but i do not feel that the association with me or the blog is beneficial to anyone. To my supporters, thank you and im so sorry that i made you worry for me. Im still having trouble with self esteem and feel i am not worthy of forgiveness or acceptance, but thank you so much for seeing the positive in me when i cannot see it in myself.

I am sorry to everyone, i let you all down and im trying to get better.

This my final goodbye, so goodbye everyone i wish you all the best

Love *the previously known* Shibe

💖

[black-sun-au]

Im on the road to recovery and will quote some wise advice. I will get off social media for a very long time and work on myself. I need to own up to what I've done through every aspect and apologize to my supporters, to the people who have rightfully called me out and to everyone else i have hurt.

I am sorry i snapped out in anger to the people that are rightfully upset and while i know i do not deserve forgiveness, i am changing my anger to acceptance and forgive everyone. I am sorry i played the victim and disrespected all of you. It was not right and i am sorry. Everyone deserves respect and i did not give you all that. For that i am sorry and truly wish that you find peace and love and have fulfilling life.

This will be my final post, i love you all dearly and im sorry i ruined your trusts. To the callout post makers, i would like to thank you for showing me clarity. I was wrong and i couldn't see it, but now i fully accept everything and am getting help.

To the persons i have wrongfully painted, i am sorry. It was an insult to your image when you had every right to be mad, i am truly sorry and again wish you happiness and luck in your lives.

To my supporters, i dont deserve you but to have you behind me is the biggest drive that i could have ever asked for and i promise i will get better, for you all and myself. And to the people i have made doubt me, know my promise is true when i say i want to be better and mend the trust you gave me.

This is my final post. I love you all and goodbye.

Shibe

I know you dont need to but @blacksuncallout please share this. If not, then i still hold no ill will or grudge. You did help me and showed me respect when you didnt have to, so thank you

[black-sun-au]

No more games

This drama is done with and i do not want anyone else getting targeted because of me.

Come talk to me @shibe-throwaway for everything and gather your own conclusions besides going after sweet people.

[black-sun-au]

Important announcement

This blog will no longer be active nor will the au progress.

Im sorry to everyone, ive failed you all and i can only hope for forgiveness. I am leaving the fandom and will no longer post anything to this blog. I am so sorry that I've hurt and lied to you. I've given my full apology here @shibe-throwaway viewer discretion

Im so sorry to everyone. I just wanted friends and im sorry.

I love you all and im sorry, you deserve the world for supporting me when i didnt deserve it and im so happy to have been able to meet all of you.

I love you all. Im so sorry.

Goodbye for now.

💖

-Shibe.

[black-sun-au]

Update on my situation

Things got resolved!!! Thank you so much to everyone who commissioned and donated you mean so much to me 😭💖

Commissions are currently closed so i can get to finishing sketches and arts

But thank you all so it means a lot to me and y'all have helped so much ; ;

💖Thank you💖

Love Shibe~

[black-sun-au]

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! $5 SKETCHES

Okay so...gonna cry irl, our phones have been taken down and we cant get them switched or paid off unless we pay $1800. If we just cancel, our phones are taken away and we start all over again..

So im doing $5 commissions while we still have a chance to get everything sorted out.

My PayPal is here!

Send me a ask/dm/email @ shibe.dorable@gmail.com

Any bit helps..please

[black-sun-au]

Ack- I really need to practice on drawing hands- I tried to draw my new Moominsona in the Black Sun AU art style again lmao.

This is my OC, Eileen (I originally thought of her being named Irene-). She's pretty short (4'5) for someone her age. Eileen is 18 years old and I've been thinking on what her deadly sin would be lol. Probably pride/lust or lust/wrath, I haven't decided yet lmao.

I hope you enjoy my not-so-good quality art.

[black-sun-au]

BlueMoon!Ami, LET’S GO! She’s essentially the polar opposite of BlackSun!Ami - still known as a ‘Wish Master’, but the species’ purpose is again rather different. First of all, these Wish Masters are direct offspring of the Blue Moon. As such for a Wish (which again takes the form of a paper plane) to be granted, they must be burned by frozen by the cold of the Moon. Secondly, the WMs only grant pure Wishes - evil Wishes are shredded apart. Thirdly a WM is seen as a good sign, because they are often followed up by a Herald of the Moon (for example Snufkin). Since a WM only allows the granting of an pure Wish, they easily spread hope. This makes spreading purity easier for the Heralds. They also act as the communicative link between the Moon and the Herald. Ami is kind of like Snufkin’s little sister, being honest. She goes ahead of him, scoping out the land; finding places that need his help. She keeps him informed on the Moon’s requests and guidance, all while fulfilling her role as a Wish Master. When she finds a place in need of Snufkin’s help she’ll track backwards and find him before guiding him towards the place while sharing with him what needs fixing. She’s capable of pure magic and carries a blue leather-bound spell book in her bag along with a wand made of ivory wood, a silver telescope and a compass that points towards corrupted areas.

[black-sun-au]

Doodles of sun as a teenager

[black-sun-au]

It’s late as heck here but

But I really wanna do a rom com ask blog involving mine and Shibes personas

It’s kind of slice of life with a slight fantasy twist

Something a long the lines of “my boyfriend is a ghost”

Would anyone be interested in something like that?

[black-sun-au]

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@black-sun-au

[black-sun-au]

A doodle of @thefearisoneself’s baby sun

[black-sun-au]

Happy Valentines Day to all but especially my favourite Blue Moon Boys!  @black-sun-au

[black-sun-au]

I drew my OC in Black Sun style! Thisis Ami; she’s what’s known as a ‘Wish Master’. They are direct offspring of the Beast’s/Black Sun! As such for a Wish (which takes the form of a paper plane) to be granted, they must be burned by the heat of the Sun. The WMs only grant evil Wishes - good Wishes are shredded apart, and the WMs take great joy from doing so. They’re seen as bad omens. This is because they are often followed up by a Herald of the Sun (for example Snufkin). Since a WM only allows the granting of an evil wish, and aren’t usually physically seen, they easily spread fear. This makes spreading corruption easier for the Heralds. They also act as the communicative link between the Sun and the Herald. Subsequently, Ami and Snufkin are on fairly friendly terms. Ami goes ahead of him, scoping out the land; tracking potential corruption victims; deciding what place is best worth Snufkin’s time and keeping him informed on the Sun’s wants/needs all while fulfilling her role as a Wish Master. When she finds a place she believes “worthy” of corruption she’ll track backwards and find Snufkin before guiding him towards the place while sharing what she’s learnt. She’s capable of dark magic and carries a black leather-bound spell book in her bag along with a wand made of elder wood, a brass telescope and a compass that (instead of pointing North) points towards uncorrupted areas.

[black-sun-au]

Just a lady and her goofy husband

I’m going to practice different poses and perspectives but for now a couple of headshots.