blackkivy-blog

[blackkivy-blog]

Help?

Hi, I need help with something. I've spent days doing my own research and I can't find anything that can help me. So, Tumblr I need your opinions on this matter. A bit of background on me, I grew up in a small community and to this day I still live here. As a child I was always around animals and could see "things", I've seen a few therapists about this problem. The medication they gave me for it helped a little, though I still see things. I've always been good with injured animals and sick children as I grew up taking care of both. My parents chalked it up to me having "doctors" blood running in my veins. I've also been able to guess what would come next in most situations, and sense when people I'm close to were around. I used to be able to tell when the phone would ring, or when my sister did something at school she wasn't supposed to. 

Now, onto my problem. My sister's cat had kittens a few months ago, and a couple of her kittens were born with deformaties. One has a bad paw, and the other has her arms bent out of shape and she can barely use them. She often just stands on her hind legs and meows until she gets picked up, she doesn't like walking. Anyway, when she was still a tiny kitten she got really depressed and stopped eating and just laid in a corner. She did this for days, I couldn't let her do that anymore because it was upsetting to see. I started letting her sleep with me and I often brought her mom into my bed. For the first couple nights, she stayed away from her mom; on the third night however she ate. And that's basically how it started.

Now, a couple weeks ago my pet bunny died in her cage, I was heartbroken about it. I guess my mom and sister forgot to feed her while I was away. I ended up holding her body for an hour or so, the weird thing is she began to move. She just sorta came back to life, over the next few days afterwards I got so sick I couldn't even get out of bed. She is perfectly healthy and running around like she used to. I decided it was just dumb luck or something along those lines and thought nothing of it at the time.

My next issue is my cat, she suffered from a miscarriage with her kittens. The worst part is we didn't even know she was pregnant, the kittens started rotting inside her and I only found out when she chewed a large hole in her stomach. She decided to take them out on her own and got really sick. She couldn't move and then I took her to a vet, which then said we should put her down as she most likely wasn't going to survive. I asked if I could just bandage her and try to keep her alive (cause I'm a wuss and couodn't let her go.). So, the vet let me do so,  she is doing pretty good so far and seems to be healing properly. The hole is still a bit big, and recently I have been really hungry and tired all the time.

Okay, so now that those things are out. My last recent thing that's bothering me the most is last week, I was outside in my back yard collecting tree sap for some homemade medicine. Now, a little info about my house and yard is I live by a lake, it's in the backyard. It's currently covered by ice and completely frozen, in the winter ski-doos drive on the ice a lot this time of year. As I was collecting the sap a couple guys were driving back and forth across the part closest to my house, the lake is quite large so there is so much space they could use. I was already a little annoyed because of the fact I was starving but couldn't force anything to stay in my stomach at the time. I thought to myself "just stop already", and low and behold, the ski-doo gets caught on something and got stuck in the ice somehow. Nobody got hurt when it got caught, a little while after they were trying to get it unstuck. I shrugged it off and went inside to melt my sap, as I stirred my medicine my sister tells me to look out the window. The ski-doo caught on fire on the ice, I'm worried it's my fault. I know it's really dumb to think these things happened because of me but I do and it's freaking me out.