bleecake1

[bleecake1]

I published the last chapter of this wonderfully insane story today. Now’s a good time to check it out if you’ve been waiting! Join these two goobers for a deeply disturbing love story filled with violence and pathos.

As promised, I have started publishing this story today

It’s called Palooka and it’s about gort and durge if they were prohibition-era gangsters, inspired by this post by @vialae and pushed on me by @aryriddle

I meant it to be a short story and it is (cough by my standards cough) but it got to be a few chapters long.

Pls check it out if you like durgetash debauchery and gangster shit.

[bleecake1]

You caught me busy with smut, as I often am.

“She dug into herself and found the core that was just an animal in a silken dress, the part of her that was nothing but flesh and blood and hot, wet, aching need. Just a hole in want of filling.”

Last Line Written

Thanks @afilmnoirdetective for the tag! 💙

And here it goes, it’s a short one but I don’t want to spoil the entire paragraph 😁 It’s from the upcoming second one-shot in the Our Skin And Bones series:

“I’ll mix your ashes in my wine and piss you out all over Bhaal’s altar.”

I tag @bleecake1 , @elinorbard , @kaerwrites and @wizardofarles (Kaer and Wizard are from the Captive Prince fandom and I’ve been a huge fan of their work for YEARS. I’m blatantly trying to get sneak peeks this way 👀 No pressure though)

[bleecake1]

Don’t mind me, I’m just illustrating my ongoing story Palooka, which is now five chapters in and halfway published.

[bleecake1]

Exhibit 1

i can never get over gort always putting on his evil conniving dictator face talking to everyone else but having the shiniest eyes and happiest softest smile when talking to durge its really just diabolical. why does he look like that. dont do that

[bleecake1]

They just can't get my nose right!

[bleecake1]

Gods I just love that Astarion is pansexual. I love seeing images of him kissing both men and women. I love that he is flamboyant and that so many women find him sexy. I love that his queerness wasn’t sidelined to make homophobic gamers comfortable.

And I will fight any of those dumbasses who insists that he’s actually gay, because miss me with that stereotyping bullshit. He makes my little bi heart so happy.

[bleecake1]

Maybe I’ll apply 🤗

ao3 and wattpad gang where you at

[bleecake1]

I have been beating this drum for awhile. I know a lot of Turkish people and if my favorite tyrant wasn’t modeled on a Turkish man I’ll eat my damn hat.

I draw him kind of a lot (it’s a sickness) and I have spent an inordinate amount of time staring at his face. He’s craggy to be sure, with wrinkles, some acne scars, and a face full of smaller scars you can only see up close. He’s very angular and lighting means a lot to his attractiveness. He had a “dirt” filter on him but he’s not the only character who has it. Mostly he looks dark— dark eyes, dark hair, and dark skin. With the eyeliner and the mop of hair he looks even darker. And unfortunately, looking “dark” still has a stigma on it.

Anyway here’s a spam of pics with different angles and lighting (I took none of these I swiped them from the internet to add to my collection for … personal use.)

sometimes i think about how people often call Gortash “ugly” or “dirty” and i think maybe why it bothers me is.., he has facial features that don’t read as stereotypically white

Even with the people who do love gortash, i’ve seen a lot of art where his skin is lighter and his jaw is sharper and his nose is smaller

and maybe i’m completely misreading the situation or am being too sensitive but something about him being called dirty feels a little uncomfortable. i mean ketheric is basically a corpse and orin bathes in blood but i don’t see that stuff being said about them.

again, maybe i’m completely wrong. sorry for ranting love y’all drink water eat good food listen to cool music etc etc

[bleecake1]

A rather rare pair but a favorite

[bleecake1]

Happy anniversary to this meme I made last year lol

[bleecake1]

I’m a little late to the party, but pls enjoy high and tight Gort, inspired, of course, by this fuck ass haircut

He glower

[bleecake1]

you guys lol we have gotta start commenting on fics again. Like literally every 1 in 300 hit/kudos is a comment. that’s crazy lol for christ sake . 300 people in a room with me listening to my story and only one person says hi that was ok not bad. Is anyone here can anyone hear me

[bleecake1]

he's my pookie

[bleecake1]

Fucking YES! I honestly think gort was a victim of bad lighting. The first time you see him in game he’s underlit by green brine. No one looks good like that, but first impressions matter.

This poor man has been run ragged. He is involved in literally everything. He must never sleep. Give the man a spa weekend and he’d be fresh as a daisy.

Tom hardy is a good analog—angular face, crooked nose, full lips. Good on you for seeing it.

There’s a lot of the gort-hate and general disgust that I find a little icky and uncomfortable. A lot of it seems to rely on calling him greasy and dirty and ugly. There’s a lot of evidence that he’s meant to be read as ethnically similar to middle-eastern men (his super white VA notwithstanding). If you view it in that light, the greasy and ugly comments start to sound awfully racist. Lots of real world people have skin that looks like that and shiny black hair. It’s not a hill I’m willing to die on, but there’s an argument to be made there.

Anyway I am firmly in the “Gortash is legit hot and you’re all insane if you don’t see it” camp. Solidarity.

I spend a LOT of time drawing Gort's face...

So today I'm scrolling and ya know what sometimes you see something you cant unsee

I'm not fan casting. But this goes right back to my "Gort is ugly" beef. No. He's fucking not. He's cut like Tom Hardy in a fuck ass anime wig (which I love) wearing guy liner. Cheeks, chin, nose-even the little eyebrow scar.

And then like imagine how gorgeous Gort had to have been AT THE START. Like he should look so much worse. He's lived a hard ass life, first in poverty, then as a slave in hell, then as a mobster arms dealer, THEN as the cult leader/politician and chosen of the god of TYRANNY, who canonically sucks the life out of his chosen till they look like shit.

I know I'm in the minority that I think Gort is only like 8-10 years older than Karlach and that's why he's a "young" man- based on how old some of the folks can get to be. He put in the work and no sleep grind to get where he is. Like evil still takes A LOT of work. He looks great all things considered(he just plain looks great, that's my handsome young man I'll swat y'all)

[bleecake1]

Avast ye! Tavtash on a pirate ship! (Sort of) A pulpy high-seas adventure with a bunch of smut and some horror elements. It’s fun, I swear! 60k words

The Pirate’s Life for Me

Summary

A fugitive couple aboard a ship going anywhere. A brutal murder. A botched cover-up. A vengeful ghost. A twisted psychosexual relationship with a wannabe pirate. A looming disaster.

This is the not at all awaited sequel to Masquerade, but I don’t think it’s necessary to read that one first. See the notes if you’re interested.

[bleecake1]

As promised, I have started publishing this story today

It’s called Palooka and it’s about gort and durge if they were prohibition-era gangsters, inspired by this post by @vialae and pushed on me by @aryriddle

I meant it to be a short story and it is (cough by my standards cough) but it got to be a few chapters long.

Pls check it out if you like durgetash debauchery and gangster shit.

[bleecake1]

I just finished masquerade and you are an incredible writer and I can’t wait to see what you do next!!

Excuse me while I cry awhile over this lovely comment. 😭😫🥹

I shall wipe the tears and now use the opportunity for a little crass self-promotion.😏

I wrote a sequel to Masquerade that’s already completed and in the polishing stage. It’s a pirate-ghost-erotic-murder adventure and I think it’s pretty funny, scary, and sexy in equal measure. I’m working on a romance novel-inspired cover for it and then I’ll be publishing that soon, so stay tuned for the continuing adventures of my goofy lovebirds and the terrible choices they make together.

I’ve also been working on a story based in part on this post by @vialae who graciously allowed me to steal the idea. I did change it to prohibition era NYC but kept the basic idea. It’s my first run at an AU but I’m having a blast with it. It’s a lot of gangster shit and it’s gay af and I’m loving it. I did go ahead and make a cover illustration and I’m really pleased with how it turned out. Imma put it here as a little sneak peek. It’s called Palooka and I’m trying to keep it a short story and not a novel, which is hard for me. This one isn’t done being written, but not much longer and I’ll publish it, too. I am probably too prolific for my own good, but I’m entertaining myself at least.

Thanks again, and here’s that picture.