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idk

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i fear the little girl inside me will never stop wishing she was a beautiful skinny white girl that could wear whatever she wanted, be as loud as she wanted, and do whatever she wanted without being judged

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i wonder how easy it is to forget me

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I think God drew us from the same blood

The marrow in my bones sings in the same frequency as yours

Our duet is over

Your silence is deafening

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that feeling when you watch a breathtaking movie and it pulls the tears from your eyes and strains ache through your soul and then it’s over and you just have to sit in it and be human

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i don’t like when i can hear my own heartbeat

how can i be alive, but not even feel like i am ?

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i wish my head was as empty as my stomach

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Petals for worries

I’m scared that

Lilies will start to bloom

Behind the eyes of my friend

I pray you won’t come to me

Bearing chrysanthemums

In your arms

I think my my heart

Is growing freesias and zinnias

A sea of yellow, white and magenta

Within this chest of mine

Oh, how I’d like to plant poppies

Can I sow your soul full of them?

At least one or a few?

I want us to last this year through

And the next, and so on

For now I only whisper:

”Forget me not, forget me not.”

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I told myself I'd get over you tomorrow, yet tomorrow is always a day away.

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the worry became a long-standing friend /

the kind you have known for many years /

but still don't completely trust

– C. Dale Young, The Signal

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I know someone loves me

but it’s still really hard to wake up

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Let me crawl into the dark of my room And let my aching limbs ache And find something to do That isn't sleeping or being awake Let my head cramp From a million things I'm doing wrong A lack of water And hours staring at my little screen And old glasses I can't afford to get fixed And not enough food Or not the right kind I want to disappear

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Of course you do not feel in the mood to create art when you are so mean to yourself inside your head, what artist wants to preform for an audience constantly booing every direction they take?

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i don’t think i’m alive

i can feel my heart beating

i can feel the air filling and leaving my lungs

i can feel my eyes blinking on their own

i can feel my fingers padding over my screen

but how do i know if i’m actually alive

how do people live and feel

how can i convince myself i’m alive and should stay alive

how will i know i’ve ever been alive unless i died

maybe then i’d know the difference

my heart slowly stopping

the air no longer filling my lungs

my eyes closing one last time

my fingers halting all motions

maybe i’d find solace in everything slowing down

maybe then i’d be happy;

the most alive i’ve ever felt

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all these knives inside me, each one

an unspoken prayer

a plea not plead

a silence not heard

an ignored hope