bmkmuse - Tumblr blog

[bmkmuse]

I love me. As self observed as that sounds, I do. I love the way I think to myself and the way I learn and my willing to learn. I love the way I say I’m an extrovert but I’m really introverted. I love the way that I know that no one will ever get to understand what goes Inside our minds,truly and fully, and I enjoy the eerie mysterious feeling it brings. The only part where I’m not allowed to be in control is what brings me peace and I love that recognition. I love the phases I have gone through and weep that I will never be the same. Evolving from and longing the version of me I wished so much to destroy. even then I still loved me implicitly,but I was immersed in my own indignation and compliant with norms that made me seem uncanny and utterly lacking social awareness.I love how that’s not the case.

In fact, It made me impregnable to the standards that are useless and absurd. I hate to ruminate and inculcate but this is me being amorous and shameful. So am I ashamed to love? Am I ashamed of me? Do I love All my shadows and hidden secrets? The consolation of my own being I raze because I dogmatically think that people will love me the same way I love. It’s a travesty really, that I could think that people are even deft to love me. I keep that stored in a disk, paused, and lost in a ram that only remembers to play apathetic sounds when I sing. Moments of disdain cause nominal resplendent pain, and pain is beautiful. I am beautiful and I love me. I hope this is not atypical, but I would be lying if I said i did. Actually, I want this to stand out and be loud and modulate to those who are philistine. To abort the disheartened myopic state of mind. Don’t abnegate and become stolid, be brave in the face of love. -BMK

[bmkmuse]

It’s the moments I catch myself staring into an abyss where I feel like need you.

That I miss your warm hugs on my back in the early mornings of your dark room.

Your nose buried in my neck will soon be replaced by a dager that I set in place.

Only i mapped out and planted this poison filled dagger to penetrate my jugular vein.

Unable to speak, breath,or remember what it was like before I felt what was real. Pain is real and so am I. So am I living to suffer with out you? That’s the question that divides you and me. What drives us further and further from that line are the mundane things in life which we do not see. -BMK

[bmkmuse]

Forever and always

“Cause I’m gonna be free and I’m gonna be fine… maybe not tonight.”

— Florence + the Machine

[bmkmuse]

If I sat here, I’d try to recollect what used to be and id ask my self, how could you do me the way you did? If I sat here, I would allow myself wallow and feel sorry for me, and tell my self that this happened for a divine reason. I would tell myself that you falling in love with the dark force I deeply avoided, wouldn’t be the end of me. The only thing that would end is us and my faith in love. In every timeline, every era, point in time, magnetic thought, and reality you’ve disappeared. If you sat here, you’d realize that the person you were so proud of being is gone, and you’ll drive your self crazy trying to find him. Every beautiful moment together has faded into a twisted fantasy lie that only you can unravel. If I allowed my self to sit a little longer, I’d write a poem you’d never read and feel empty inside. If I sat here any longer I might even start to miss you. If I did that, I’d be obliterated,jagged,red human flesh against the room I chose to sit in. So instead I choose to sit in irreverent silence.

-BMK

[bmkmuse]

Reminice

You’ll always look

but never find it

And when you come close

You’ll be reminded

[bmkmuse]

It’s the moments I catch myself staring into an abyss where I feel like need you.

That I miss your warm hugs on my back in the early mornings of your dark room.

Your nose buried in my neck will soon be replaced by a dager that I set in place.

Only i mapped out and planted this poison filled dagger to penetrate my jugular vein.

Unable to speak, breath,or remember what it was like before I felt what was real. Pain is real and so am I. So am I living to suffer with out you? That’s the question that divides you and me. What drives us further and further from that line are the mundane things in life which we do not see.

-b.m.k

[bmkmuse]

It’s the moments I catch myself staring into an abyss where I feel like need you.

That I miss your warm hugs on my back in the early mornings of your dark room.

Your nose buried in my neck will soon be replaced by a dager that I set in place.

Only i mapped out and planted this poison filled dagger to penetrate my jugular vein.

Unable to speak, breath,or remember what it was like before I felt what was real. Pain is real and so am I. So am I living to suffer with out you? That’s the question that divides you and me. What drives us further and further from that line are the mundane things in life which we do not see.

-b.m.k

[bmkmuse]

“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”

— J.K. Rowling

[bmkmuse]

Sometimes the small pleasures hit different. A clean house, a hot drink, making something from scratch, sitting on the porch with a loved one. Little soul-feeding activities.

[bmkmuse]

She’s my ersatz, but I’ll always be your elegy.

[bmkmuse]

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

— Tom Bodett

[bmkmuse]

“I’d love to be in love.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[bmkmuse]

amateur writer that jots in the darkest of nights

[bmkmuse]

It’s the moments I catch myself staring into an abyss where I feel like need you.

That I miss your warm hugs on my back in the early mornings of your dark room.

Your nose buried in my neck will soon be replaced by a dager that I set in place.

Only i mapped out and planted this poison filled dagger to penetrate my jugular vein.

Unable to speak, breath,or remember what it was like before I felt what was real. Pain is real and so am I. So am I living to suffer with out you? That’s the question that divides you and me. What drives us further and further from that line are the mundane things in life which we do not see.

-B.m.k

[bmkmuse]

Lurid, aren’t i ?

[bmkmuse]

Lesss be frens

Ig @ bellamonetteee

Twt @bella_monettee

Spotify - bella monette

peace and luvvvvv 

[bmkmuse]

Do you use side walks ? Do you allow traffic semaphores to guide you, or are you too impatient? How do you cross the street? By answering theses types of questions I can probably guess how well you follow directions, and most importantly how well you comply with an uneven distribution of power.