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Date Everything is a silly fun game until you realize fucking PLATO came up with the idea. It's the Theory of Forms as a dating sim

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Violet: Hey, Tairn, have you & Sgaeyl ever thought about having children?

Tairn: …

Tairn: Does looking over you and your second adolescent dragon not to mention Sgaeyl’s “precious” wing-leader and all the friends you insist upon saving not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it; so much so Sgaeyl & I are relieved to never foster our own.

Violet: But we're not childr-

Tairn: —ANDARNA, PUT THE FIRE OUT— WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NOT ROASTING OUR ALLIES!

Violet: —Children, on second thought would probably be easier…

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Violet, limping & leaving a faint trail scorch marks: No, no, I'm good. Everybody calm down I’m just breaking in the new boots! Yep… gotta test the grip strength of the rubber soles!

Andarna, to Tairn: I don’t wear shoes, so correct me if I’m wrong; but "breaking them in" doesn’t usually involve "breaking" bones… right?

Tairn: No, it does not youngling… however in our riders case it always seems to be "break it".

Violet, to Tairn & Andarna: Hey! Last week it was just a sprain!

Xaden, deadpan: You're hair is standing up like you touched a live wire, and Tairn is anxiously muttering like a mother hen… I’m not letting you walk out of this courtyard.

Violet: Look, Xaden, I'm always testing the limits! That's what it means to be a rider. Test ourselves. Make it or break it-

Xaden: —By the angle of your ankle you broke it, and you’re not going to "make it" if we don’t go to Brennan.

Violet: No! I’m fine—

Xaden, wincing as Tairn roars: I'm not asking. I'm telling… and also Tairn is yelling, so if anything Vi, please do it before he literally bites my head off.

Violet: Okay, okay! Gods just calm down everyone! *Xaden tries to pick her up* NO—WAIT! …Look, don’t make it a big deal… but be careful touching me. I think I might accidentally electrocute you for totally NORMAL reasons. *tries to smile but comes out as a grimace*

Xaden: Brennan. NOW!

Violet: Fine, but only if he promises not to yell at me about my poor decisions.

Xaden: I'll buy you a whole crate of scribal supplies, and duct tape his mouth if you just let him mend you.

Andarna: Yeah, I’ll even roast this whole field!

Tairn: How is that helpful bribery?

Andarna: It’s not… I just really wanna… it’s been so long since anyone let me light something on fire.

Violet, to Andarna: Sorry, but I think I used up our "forgiveness for accidental arson" scale earlier…

Andarna, stomping back into the Vale: But I’m never gonna get better if I can’t learn! And both Tairn & Sgaeyl refuse to take me out to burn stuff anymore!

Violet, letting Xaden carefully pick her up: I already agreed so no take-backs… but I’m dying to know what are “scribal supplies”?

Xaden: Your the one dying here, I don’t have to explain myself.

Tairn, chuckling to himself: No, no, no, she needs distraction; please enlighten us.

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Violet and Andarna sitting in prison for Arson: Officer: So, who do you want to call? Andarna: Do we call Xaden or Tairn? Violet: Neither. I feel better in prison Xaden and Tairn, already at the doorway: Try again Violet: Shit

Thanks to @twylasilverthorne for the idea XD

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She doesn’t like anyone but Xaden, and she only tolerates me, though I’m growing on her. Like a tumor.

fourth wing - ch. 36

iron flame - ch. 65

onyx storm - ch. 62

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Sgaeyl: Are we really going to let Adarna keep Violet?

Tairn: We kept Xaden.

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baby vi and xaden ✨📚🍰

characters by @/rebeccayarros

follow me on instagram! @/illustratinghan

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Violet: I don't give him butterflies. I give him high blood pressure. Which is basically the same. Xaden: *resignated sighs* Tairn: This is the only reason why I'll ever sympathize with him.

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Violet : It hurts!(in her mind)

Tairn : I will have the whole kingdom as my feast! Are you hurt silver one!

Xaden : Violence!I will hunt down every fucking being in this universe and beyond!

Violet : Relax! Just periods cramps

Tairn : wingleader sometimes you overreact.

Xaden : excuse me???You already burnt two guards into ashes!

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violet: he’s probably thinking about other girls

xaden: I need to figure out a way to attach the tiny dragon to the big dragon

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Tairn, to Violet, all the time: But did you die?

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I just LOVE him lmaoooo

Somehow I've posted more about Tairn than Xaden

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Andarna: In my defence, I was left unsupervised. Tairn: Wasn’t Violet with you? Violet: In my defence, I was also left unsupervised. Tairn: *tired girldad sighs*

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Tairn: I bring a ‘don’t-fuck-with-my-kids’ vibe to the function that the human leadership doesn’t really like.

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I like to think that blupees got their name because that's what the Koroks call them and Link picked it up. He went around pre-Calamity Hyrule calling them that and the name just stuck

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Cat: “Does it bother you that I was with Xaden first?”

Violet thinking: does it bother you that I fucked him last night

Andarna: SAY THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW

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Never coming out to my mom as aroace but telling her I don't like cake is just about the same experience