bobby-bunny07

[bobby-bunny07]

Today's been a good day. Made some more patches to put on my backpack and started working on two pins for my bf and I. Also watched two episodes of a BBC documentary series about the history of Africa. Its so well-made and informative I love it sm.

However, I find it strange that through all these times of internal unrest and geopolitical strive we still must carry on as is. I find out we've just bombed Iran, and yet I still must do the dishes. It feels so strange to think about. Like our very rights within this country are in danger, the economy is rapidly going to shit, and international tensions are profoundly strained. But in despite of this I wake up every day and I make my bed and I feed my pets and I call my friends and I make my art. I still keep preparing for the future, planning my after hs careers, thinking about how to afford to move out as an adult, and I cant help but think sometimes, does this even matter? Will this all be for not if things continue to go downhill. All I want is a happy and simple life where I marry my bf, make art, and enjoy to world, why must my dreams for a simple and haply future me threatened?

[bobby-bunny07]

Maybe I'm just crazy but I LOVE looking at pictures of food that I want when im hungry instead of actually eating

[bobby-bunny07]

This week has been super swag. I went to the movies with my friends and bf to see Sinners. AMAZING OMFGGGG. That was a 5/5 movie for me. I loved the historical setting and social commentary, the sound track was phenomenal, amazing plot and concept overall. Im in love. And the day after, I went to the zoo with my buddy who's in collage, but they're back for the summer. Which is very swag. I loved the aquarium the best, but the small animals place was really neat too. I've drawn a bit, played loads of word and geography games. I've also watched plenty of video essays and documentaries. I thirst for knowledge.

However, I've also been feeling sorta depressed :/. Idk why, its just been bad. I dont want to get up or do anything or eat its just such an awful feeling. Im trying my best to stay positive and move and do things even when I dont want to, because doing nothing will ultimately make me feel worse but still. The urge to just do nothing all day and waste away is strong. I've also been INCREDIBLY anxious. Its insane, I've been freaking out over everything, I just have panic attacks at the slightest thing. I wish this all would stop.

[bobby-bunny07]

OMG GUYS IM BACK SORRY FOR THE HIATUS

Tbh, I've just been forgetting to post. But summer has been good so far. I've been hanging out with friends, drawing, researching loads, and watching movies. I've been a bit lazier than I've wanted to be. But I plan on changing that. Although things have been good I've been having really had anxiety and its getting to me. Also, I've been feeling a bit depressed, so I naturally want to do less. I find myself just wanting to stay in bed all day, which only makes me more depressed because im not doing enough.

But im going to try and be more productive. I mean, I've been helping out around the house loads, and I also bird sat for my bf while he was on a cruise. So I suppose I haven't been too bad, but still, I wanna do more. I'm going shopping with my friend tomorrow, and the day after to the movies with my bf and our friends. So that should be fun.

I'll start posting more again guys I promise 🙏🏻

[bobby-bunny07]

SCHOOL IS OUTTTTT!!!!!! YIPPIEEEEE

Today was a great last day, spent it venturing around campus talking to my friends and such. Got donuts and played Uno in Psychology. I ditched Chem to go to art, where a friend painted a ladybug on my face. I also said goodbye to one of the librarians since she's going to another position, I'll miss her sm. I love librarians. And after school I went swimming with my bf and had ramen.

I have a goal for myself this summer, this is probs my last true "summer break" since I'll be working and *hopefully* have a tattoo apprenticeship next summer so I want to live it up. So my goal is to do something everyday, it doesn't have to be super big or adventurous but just do something, like practice drawing, learn something new, write a poem or work on my story. And ofc going places and hanging out with people. I'm going to have lots of photos!!! I just want to make the most of this time and not bed rot lol. Wish me luck y'all!!!!

[bobby-bunny07]

One more day of school!!!! Today was great, very calm. However my math teacher had us do a final but it wasn't too bad, only 25 questions. Also, it wasnt even for a grade it was just for data. After that it was art class, the best class. Since out of my group of besties, 3/4 of us had that class, the odd one out came to art since our teacher is chill, and it's not like we were doing anything. He was swiftly put to work anyway since the last few days of art are always used for cleaning. And Mr. W was eager to have another warm body to scrape paint off the the counter tops. So I was subjected to child labor, but it was fun because I got to do it with my friends.

Then after school I got snacks with my bf, then he came over and we solved a puzzle together. We also took a nap together, and then after he left, I helped my ma pull weeds in the yard. All and all, good day.

[bobby-bunny07]

APUSH TOMORROW SINCE THE OG WAS CANCELED DUE TO MY SCHOOLS SHIT INTERNET!!!!

I'm nervous, but I'm feeling confident that I'll pass. I'm the monarch of humanities, English, history, geography all that shebang, my cup of tea. Wish me luck guys and pray for a stable connection

[bobby-bunny07]

Today was literally the best!!! Went to my friend's grad party and it was a blast. Swam around, played Marco Polo, and had some yummy food. Afterwards I hung out with my bf and we watched two movies, Farris Bueller's Day Off and Victor Victoria, both fabulous movies. My ma also ordered pizza, very yummy.

However, after watching Victor Victoria, a movie about cross dressing, it made me wish more that I could look more masc or androgynous :/. I really wish I could cut my hair and bind my chest from time to time. I mean, I'm 5'7, with like some lifting insoles I'd be 5'9, which would increase the androgyny. I really wish this country wasn't becoming increasingly dangerous for trans people, and I wish my ma would understand. I'm also scared that some of my friends wouldn't. I mean, a few of my queer friends know, along with my bf, but some of them wouldn't understand, and I'm scared it would change their views on me

[bobby-bunny07]

Guys, I feel like I did good on that test. The MCQ didn't feel too difficult and the FRQs I'm pretty confident on. I'm sure I passed. I'm so tired thooooo, bleh. But, I'm just excited that the school year is coming to a close and I'll have more free time to draw and I'll be able to hangout with my friends more. 1/3 tests done, I CAN DO THIS

[bobby-bunny07]

AP LANG TEST TOMORROW GUYS PRAY FOR MEEEEE. I hope the school wifi actually works this time. I hate how awful my schools internet is, it's so flaky and spotty, I am genuinely crossing my fingers, toes, and nerve endings rn that it behaves tomorrow. But, I talked to my English teacher and she's fairly confident in my ability to pass, so I am too. WISH ME LUCK Y'ALL

[bobby-bunny07]

Today was a good day. I went to the library to study with my bf. I did a bunch of note-taking for AP psych, and he did a practice essay for AP Lang. Tbh, I'm worried about AP Lang. It's not so much the essay, but the MCQ portion, I'm scared I won't do well. But after studying, we got snacks from the general store and just hung out. It was nice. Now I'm home and reading "Brave New World", and I'll get ready for school and bed in not too long

[bobby-bunny07]

[bobby-bunny07]

MY APUSH TEST HAS BEEN CANCELED BC MY SCHOOLS WIFI IS ASS WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

[bobby-bunny07]

APUSH EXAM TOMORROW AHHHH!!!!

But, I've been studying, I've been cramming, I know my shit. Manifesting a 5 rn. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 But in all actuality, I think I'll get a 3-4, I'm feeling confident. Gonna down a monster first thing tomorrow morning then I will ABSOLUTELY WHOOP THIS TESTS ASS YEAHHH

[bobby-bunny07]

Man, I love femboys

[bobby-bunny07]

Omg I barely have any time to read or draw lately, it seems. I've just been doing sm homework and studying. And theres like, no down time in my classes rn. I've been able to watch some video essays tho, while I was making graduation cards for my friends.

Oh well, once summer rolls around I'll be able to read lots more. I also wanna work on improving my drawing skills some in preparation for trying to become a tattoo artist. I think now would be a good time to start building a portfolio rather than scrambling to finish it as the end of school is nearing.

However, the thought of not going to college is sorta scary. I'm an academic weapon, and since I'm so smart, college has long been my only option. I'm afraid that I'm throwing away my future but doing a trade. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my genius. But this is something that I really want to do. The pay is mediocre but livable. Plus, I'll live with my boyfriend so he'll help split on stuff like rent and utilities. I just hope this is the right decision.

[bobby-bunny07]

OMG OMG MY FIRST AP TEST IS IN A WEEK!!!!

I am a buzzing ball of stress.