bottan-blobbington

[bottan-blobbington]

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

[bottan-blobbington]

cleaned up an amber from my sketchbook :]

[bottan-blobbington]

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.

[bottan-blobbington]

Iron Man doesn't exist because of Tony Stark and a box of scraps, he exists because James Rhodes loves that little MIT dweeb.

Tony was lost in the desert for THREE MONTHS. Rhodey was still using up military resources against his superior's judgement and risking his job, just for the slight chance Tony Stark was still alive and needed him

Humans can only live about 3 days without water, that's if heat stroke didn't get him first, or hypothermia at night. Tony Stark would have died in Afghanistan if he didn't have a best friend who loved him, believed in him, and was a little stupid with grief

[bottan-blobbington]

writing multi-chapter fics be like

[bottan-blobbington]

does a gay little run that pisses you off

[bottan-blobbington]

foreign to me these people who romanticize being in your 20s. babe where I'm from we spend our 20s being mentally ill

[bottan-blobbington]

So anyways with the rapid rise of fascism I feel it’s a good time to point out that it’s perfectly legal to follow unjust orders slowly, badly, or inefficiently

[bottan-blobbington]

[bottan-blobbington]

Weird and wonderful compilation of strange bird noises.

[bottan-blobbington]

Thranduil visiting Bilbo in the Shire, being a too comfortable guest and an emotional drunk. 

Art trade with twilight-deviant​! I hope you’ll like, dear :3

[bottan-blobbington]

[bottan-blobbington]

just wanted to share the National Down Syndrome Society’s message for this year’s World Down Syndrome Day (21st March) 💛💙

[bottan-blobbington]

[bottan-blobbington]

Hello ROTE fans! We are in need of a couple of fic writers who would be willing to pinch-hit for Springfest. If you are interested, please message me here @springfest-rote

The ultimate deadline is May 31st, so there are still a few weeks to go. Your assistance is much appreciated!!

-Mod Foxy

[bottan-blobbington]

right so last week @mothinthegutter asked me how my washing machine tried to murder me, so here we go.

scene: it's 2022. my ex and I have just moved into our new house. we brought our washing machine with us, and I've just finished hooking it up. I haven't pushed it all the way in under the counter yet, because I want to make sure none of the plumbing is leaking. so I put some clothes in and start a wash. a few minutes later I'm squeezing past it to get to the coffee maker, and I put my hand down on the top of the washing machine and hey, ow, what the fuck

now, I've been electrocuted enough times to know it when it's happening. I grab my multimeter and sure enough the entire outer casing of the washing machine is live with 120 volts. okay so maybe I won't touch that.

except, here's another thing I wasn't counting on: the load in the machine is also unbalanced. and the spin cycle is about to start.

oh, and the only way out of the kitchen is on the other side of the thing.

so now, I am trapped in a corner with an electrified washing machine vibrating slowly in my direction.

panic sets in. definitely the weirdest kind of panic I've ever felt. also the realisation that, if this is how I die, no one will be surprised. I consider my options carefully and decide the only way out is to parkour over the counters. given that I have no parkour skills whatsoever, this ends up looking more like lying prone on the counter, belly sliding around the corner, and then falling onto the floor on my face.

I'm alive. I'm free. I call the washing machine manufacturer and report the weirdest problem their repair team has ever heard of.

[bottan-blobbington]

My content gets shittier every day.