braingoburrrrrrrrr

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

(english butler voice) Will you be making an attempt on your life this evening, sir?

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

i feel like the longer you have depression n r suicidal, the less people care

bc its like~ hes depressed rn?? he always is

he hasnt eaten?? he will at some point

hes sh again?? they're never deep anyway

he's gone missing again?? its fine he'll come home

he overdosed again?? he never takes enough tho

he tried to kill himself?? thats okay the attempts have never worked~ so it wont this time

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

If i dont [experience pathologically concerning sex act] within the next [arbitrary time period] im going to [federal agency watchphrase]

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

comments were very helpful for aftercare

I need someone to tell me how to take care of deep cuts. Like deep styro and/or beans because whatever the fuck I’m doing now cannot be right.

I changed my bandages on the bean cuts I have on my arms for the second time today, and I swear, it was the most painful thing ever. Worse than the actual cutting. It was so painful I threw up. It took me a solid thirty minutes to do, and it was absolutely traumatizing.

This cannot be the right way to be bandaging them, so please please please if someone could tell me how to do this properly, I seriously need help. I am begging, please tell me how to do this right.

And before anyone suggests it, it’s not possible for me to go to the hospital or get any sort of help.

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

I keep messing up. I don't even mean to but when I try to fix everything it gets worse

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

I just keep making things worse than they were. every single time I try to help my situation or myself I end up fucking up. I don't even mean to this is just how I am! I can't fucking do this anymore

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

I don't have an ed and i know they're bad but I'm really needing something to feel in control over and that seems like the only thing I can actually do

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

idk how to cope. sh isn't good, neither is scrolling fucking tumblr obsessively looking at sh pics but idk what to do. I want to cvt but I threw away my blades and my thighs have so much nerve damage. I can't cvt anywhere else. Ig I could just slam my head on the table or bruise myself but then I'd be a complete failure who can't even stop shing. nothing works though, and I'm so sick of trying

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

what if I just gutted myself like a fish

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

my friend makes jokes of my ///// and i have to sit here and pretend like it doesn't hurt more than me ripping my skin up in the first place

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

If anyone wanted to know, when you cut over bruises they’re purple. Idk just found it interesting. Grape flavor mental illness.

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

"i swear on my life" bitch you're suicidal swear on something else

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

sometimes at night I imagine the ways I could be brutally beaten and killed. I think I'm beyond repair

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]

I'm on the edge

That stage where you're strong enough to not pick up a blade and actually hurt yourself, but at the same time, it's the only thing you think about.

And you keep on getting these urges like constantly, so all you can do is stare at a wall and think of all the different ways you can, in fact, hurt your self.

[braingoburrrrrrrrr]