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My favorite blorbos

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I'm just going to start blaming all peoples' obnoxious internet behaviour on the christians. Oh, people were having fun and you felt like it was your duty to make sure to remind everyone that having a laugh at something lighthearted and silly is actually Bad And Wrong? Do you believe that all joy is a sin, save for the joy of snuffing out the enjoyment of others? Is that how you're planning to get in heaven?

What, you don't even believe in heaven? You're not doing that as your path to salvation? You're just doing it for free, without even imagining you're going to be reimbused for your services? Like some kind of a cuckold?

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My favorite blorbos

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Say it with me folks:

“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires

middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire

“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)

Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money

Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip

Constantly feeling guilty helps no one

Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.

Upper middle class is NOT rich

Black Lives Matter

Trans rights are human rights

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what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

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Q: What goes in the square hole?

a) Bdubs

b) Skizz

c) Impulse

d) All of the above

e) Scar

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reblog if you love getting asks

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I think it would be hilarious if aiden tried to get into gymnastics in order to try do one of ashlyns routines and during one of ashlyns practices he just joins in besides her completely distracting her

I wouldn't be surprised if Aiden already got into gymnastics at one point. I'm unsure of how long he stayed settled in one area before moving to Georgia, so I can't really guess if he joined an actual gym program, but I am certain that he has practiced tricks from YouTube, albeit unsupervised and unsafely. He can do the basics, such as tumbling, handstands, and cartwheels, but, as I mentioned in my previous posts, he can also perform more advanced tricks, including front flipping, back flipping, and double legging.

I don't think those would be of much help, though, considering that ballet routines are very different from gymnastics moves.

However, he has tried some of her routines before. It doesn't go well, but you can't say that he didn't try. I don't think Ashlyn would ever purposely let Aiden sit in on one of her practice sessions, whether it be at the studio or at home, so he'd just have to happen on it. It's more likely that he would stumble upon her practicing while she is at home, however.

He would try to be sneaky, but it wouldn't really work, considering she could hear him —his footsteps weren't exactly light. Ash would probably try her best to ignore him, but she eventually gives up and stops practicing for the day.

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Summer Jobs that I think the SBG kids would have (in the case that the phantoms or the cranes aren’t terrorizing them)

If you are curious, yes, Ry’s Waffle House AU absolutely sent me down this rabbit hole. She just has good ideas, what can I say? Kixcitrix also added onto it on her insta, Ash worked as a Wendy’s drive-thru employee, so neither will be here.

Aiden:

Lifeguard

Listen, I know Aiden is rich, but I also know that he gets bored pretty easily. If he ever got a summer job, it would likely be because most of the gang is employed part-time, so he has something to talk to them about. It could also be because Ben pushed him to get some work experience in case he needed it in the future. 

I can’t see him applying for anything other than a lifeguard position at a public pool. Aiden would probably have preferred to be somewhere more exciting, like at a water park, but the closest one is about an hour away, and he doesn’t have his license. At least the public pool gets a lot of visitors in the summer, and he’s got a mean tan now.

...

It’s actually a sunburn. No, Aiden does not realize this. Yes, Tyler does slap it. Yes, it does hurt.

Logan:

Tutor

Garden center

Photographer

Logan is smart, there's no denying it. It only makes sense that he uses it to his benefit. He doesn't tutor anyone at the high school, as he tries to stay out of the spotlight there, but he does tutor elementary and middle school students at the neighboring schools. He gained this opportunity through a school program that focuses on college readiness for students, which advertised it as a way to practice active study skills and learning strategies. The program itself doesn't pay anything, but it does boost Logan's community service hours for graduation.

He also works at his grandparents' florist shop on a regular basis. Logan already takes shifts when school's in, but he takes more now that he has free time to get some pocket money. He is rarely assigned to register duty since his grandpa notices that Logan gets nervous working with customers. Instead, Logan's job is to maintain the plants' health and take note of any problems that are affecting them. This summer, he was able to snag Ben a job at the garden center, so now they are coworkers. Since it is a family business, though, I can't imagine he's making very much...

Logan also runs a small astrophotography blog on the side where people give him tips for better equipment (I got tired here, sue me).

Taylor:

Art Commissions

Babysitting

Auto program

Taylor already earns some income by selling some handmade metal work art on her Etsy. Red mentioned this at one point on her Instagram stories, so it makes sense for her to continue that over the break. During school, Taylor doesn't make anything custom to order, and instead opts to just sell random flowers she has made out of scraps, most of them being roses. Though now that it's the summer, Taylor would probably be up for making commissions for custom flowers like lilies. It wouldn't be surprising if she asked Logan to come over with some flowers that were commissioned for references so that she could work while they hung out.

Occasionally, Taylor babysits for some families in the neighborhood whenever the parents can't find childcare. The kids never go to her house to be watched since her mom stays home most of the time, so she goes to their houses instead. She doesn't babysit often, but there is a family that she normally watches for, a family that a friend from high school recommended her for. The kid adores her.

Through connections in her mechanics club, Taylor also works in a summer auto program where she shadows mechanics from a local auto shop. Because she's still pretty young, Taylor, technically, can't work on the cars that come in, but she does learn a great deal from the workers there. This does earn her an employment opportunity for when she is older, though.

Ben:

Library Assistant

Garden center

There aren't many part-time summer jobs that Ben can do, considering the fact that he is mute. For the most part, front-facing customer service roles are off the table, as they require you to speak with people. Libraries, however, are quite the opposite! Ben still can't really work the main desk jobs, helping the library visitor, but he can work on the organization tasks and any potential data entry jobs.

Logan would also help him get a job at his grandparents' florist shop. Considering his stature, Ben would likely be doing manual labor jobs that Logan's grandparents can't do anymore, as they get older. He's likely moving soil, pots, and potentially tree saplings around the store, as well as helping customers put their purchases into their cars.

Ben, like Aiden, probably doesn't need a summer job since he is living with the Clarks, and they are filthy rich. However, he does feel like he needs to contribute to the household at least a little through gifts to both Jessica and Daniel. He would also be saving up to buy gifts for Lily as a way to make up for not being with her anymore. Ben's also saving to buy his own guitar so that he doesn't have to keep borrowing Tyler's.

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gay people 💥💥💥

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Now I can't help but imagine the coach offering to teach Tyler how to drive. This will live in my brain forever.

broke: the baseball team all hate tyler and no one actually likes him

woke: the entire baseball team (sans barron, but he's not even part of the team anymore in this hc) all love tyler and have been trying for years to get him to open up and trust them

bespoke: the baseball team's coach would do anything to adopt tyler and his sister if he could (that's his son, your honor. his pride and joy)

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... is it you?

Just imagine Red has a personal use Tumblr. Like one she uses to like anything and everything SBG related (or outside of SBG) that she finds plausible or funny or even correct to S3 predictions (but as to not give spoilers she uses a separate Tumblr to like/repost).

And like... Her current, or more of public account, is simply for stuff she really likes or finds to be canon and it doesn't give spoilers.

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Mike and Emma headcanons >:]

Mike is a stay-at-home dad with a remote cybersecurity job. Because of this, Mike is the primary caretaker of the house, and often gets to spend more one-on-one time with Ashlyn, which led to Ashlyn being a bit closer to her dad than her mom. 

Between the two of them, they own three handguns and one hunting rifle. The handguns are for personal protection, one for Mike, Emma, and, eventually, Ashlyn, while the rifle is just for when Emma visits her dad and wants to go hunting. However, Emma is the only one with a concealed carry permit. 

They tried to teach Ashlyn how to shoot at a public range when she was twelve, as they wanted to ensure she could use a gun if needed for protection, such as if someone broke into the house while Mike and Emma were out. Since Ashlyn has sensitive ears, they tried to take her during a weekday after school so that fewer people were present, and had obtained good-quality ear protection for her. While those did help a bit, the noise was still too much for her.

Both Mike and Emma have siblings. Mike is the youngest of three, having an older sister and an older brother, but is not particularly close with either of them since there is quite an age gap between them; he was born when they were on the cusp of graduating high school. Emma was the middle child of five. She has two full brothers, one half-sister, and one stepbrother (her father got divorced and remarried).

When he was younger and just joining the military, Mike was, in the kindest way, a cocky piece of shit. That’s not to say that he was mean or an asshole; he was quite the opposite, in fact. He had a bit of an ego, but he was kind and empathetic. For the most part, he was just overconfident. Much to the annoyance of Emma, who would check in with his drill sergeant every now and again. (listen, idk how military works)

Emma has had multiple homoerotic friendships in college. I will not be elaborating. She’s still close with one, and Ashlyn calls her Aunt Maya.

There is a rule in their family that no one is allowed to scare Emma because her immediate reaction is to fight, not flee. Her parents and siblings found that out very early. Her oldest brother had tried to scare her, and she threw the closest thing, which happened to be a ceramic bookend, at his head. She missed, thankfully, but she hit the TV instead.

Mike did not learn this until later in their relationship, when he tried to scare her in the dark by grabbing her shoulders from behind and shouting. It earned him a broken nose.

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I'm probably going to be the last to make this realization, but I'm from the West Coast, so I think I get a pass. I was looking at a map to find out what the surrounding areas of Alto, Georgia, were like, as I needed information for a fic (It's so much farther north than I initially thought it was). So I zoomed out a bit to see what the terrain was, and was just like, "Oh, we've got some mountains a little north of here, cool!"

and then it hit me.

that's the Appalachian Mountain Range...

Of course, all this shit is happening in Alto; the fucking mountains are where all the spooky shit happens. If the phantom dimension was going to happen anywhere in the US, why wouldn't it be in one of the most haunted places in America?

I hope that at least one pair of the kids gets told or finds a folktale about the phantoms at some point in the plot, just to show how old this whole mess is. Personally, I'm hoping that Maverick tells something like it to Taylor and Logan.

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I hope Red starts foaming at the mouth when she realizes someone noticed

GUYS I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING ABOUT MARIANA!!

Okay so I made a tyler comic a while back and there was a flower theme right?

Inspired by these! I’ve come to accept that a Hernandez family animation isn’t complete without some flower symbolism.

And I wanna make an animation with mainly flowers. So i’ve been researching, and then I remembered those white flowers that I had in the tyler animation, that was inspired by these earrings Mariana wears.

So then I wanted to add specifically THESE flowers (i’ve scrapped that idea, there will be different flowers to symbolize different things) but I can’t do that without knowing what they symbolized.

Soooo I searched and searched and I think I found it…

😭😭😭…..

What if Ethan gave her the earrings, on their honeymoon or wedding.

What if it’s a symbol that shes living in those memories. Thats shes still in the past…

Safe to say shes gonna be covered in a lot of those flowers…

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The Cage is Broken

And the Girl found Love

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Bet Red is giggling and kicking her feet seeing this

Logan art (colour)