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i will start sitting in a clearing holding a small stone and rubbing it with my hand for 10000 years to learn how to empathize with the river bed

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y'all it's about to get really fucking humid and hot

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*at the job interview* i have powers

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trying to make a plan for figuring out what all my remaining undiagnosed disabilit(ies) are and how they affect my life and how to get help and accommodations. it's. a lot.

and it's harder than before because i don't know what my deal is yet (EDS/HSD? autoimmune stuff? something that makes all my joints hurt but it's not arthritis) so like, i know there are all kinds of curated resources out there but idk how to find them other than really basic searches like "disability" and "spoonie" and "chronic pain."

so I'm starting there, I guess. advice welcome

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we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise :)

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little beautiful things

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Disability is not a punishment, but I think the world would be genuinely improved if every person involved in writing or regulating ingredient labels was mysteriously inflicted with at least one food allergy falling under each of the following categories: "natural flavors," "modified food starch," "artificial flavors," "spices," and "color." Down with ingredient labels so vague that they defeat the entire fucking point.

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also sometimes I don't have time to read everything about my special interest, or the energy or executive function. sometimes it really is just rotating in my mind.

and one of the things that can make you weird™ with autism is being "excessively" interested in something that you're not even an expert in, in a way that isn't useful to society

Possible unpopular opinion: treating having a special interest as equivalent to being an expert on the topic is another form of the savant stereotype.

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While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

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idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

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googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

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if you don't do anything else today,

Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.

have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.

and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.

black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.

if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.

This is Juneteenth.

white people CAN interact with this post. share it, spread it.

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eventually one has to come to terms with the fact that "conceive of myself as a person capable of tackling difficult things" is an achievable goal toward which one can take concrete steps whereas "have things be easy" is Not

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tags by @beyondthisdarkhouse

eventually one has to come to terms with the fact that "conceive of myself as a person capable of tackling difficult things" is an achievable goal toward which one can take concrete steps whereas "have things be easy" is Not