| my name is mary. she/her. | ptsd. depression. dissociation disorder. | | brokenhearted | dream like state of being | | learning how to cope | here to/for help |
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Figuring out how to live without you is so hard. So much anger and despair in my heart.
Seeking refuge in the desert like I always do.
#heartbreak#breakup#loss#coping#emptiness#polaroid#sanddunes#film#instantfilm#sad#depression#goodbye#healing
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When I cut contact with my parents, I went through a grieving process. It wasn’t so much about missing them, as why would I miss people who only ever ctritcized, belittled and marginalized me, but I did miss the idea that they loved me, as well as the hope of one day obtaining their approval, a hope, mind you, I didn’t even know existed until I was staring its death in the face.
There’s a notion that we miss only the good in our lives…it’s not true. We miss also what is familiar. I felt stupid and foolish to miss anything about people who had abused me, but eventually came to realize that there was nothing stupid or foolish about it. In fact, it was brave.
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