bryanrthompson-blog - Tumblr blog

bryanrthompson-blog

BRYAN ROBERT THOMPSON

42 posts

Part-Time Philosophy, Anxieties, and Adventures of an Ordinary Guy who still believes he's not too old to be awesome.

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bryanrthompson-blog · 8 years ago

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Hi, I’m Bryan, and I’m an INFP.

I’m an INFP.

I’ve been learning a lot about personalities lately. Particularly my own and how it relates to others. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I am an INFP. I used to think I was something different, but I also realize that for years I didn’t see myself as other people saw me. So I try to give the first answer to the assessment rather than the one I feel it wants me to give or the one I wish I could enter.

But INFP has come up the last three times I’ve taken the assessment. I’ve met a few other INFPs and ENFPs and most of them feel just as misunderstood as I’ve felt throughout my life. Essentially, the most important things to note about the INFP is that they are Intuitives (the N) and not sensors. This means they tend to see big pictures and often see possibilities where others might not. A sensor takes in information with their five senses and as such can pay close attention to details, something intuitives cannot.

The other important details are that we feel things before we think about them (F). We make decisions based on how it ultimately will cause us (or others) to feel. And the P stands for Perceiving, not Judging. This means we are slow to make decisions. We internalize everything, and like to allow ideas to percolate instead of making swift decisions.

The world that built the capitalist empire we live in tends to celebrate the Sensors and Judgers, those who can quickly take in information and then make quick decisions about what needs to be done. And for good reasons they deserve to be celebrated. I’m married to a Sensor and Judger and her propensity for order and action is something I was instantly attracted to about her. They tend to find success easier, and they are able to get things done.

The INFPs and ENFPs around us are often more geared toward philosophy and art than engineering and science. Don’t get me wrong, we like engineering and science, and if the rest of us are like I am, we often wish we were more engineering and scientific. It would make our lives a lot easier.

Another reason I’ve been trying to learn about how I’m built is that I’ve had a difficult time finding success and fulfilment in life. This is going to seem really negative and I don’t know that I was ever all that negative as a young man, but I’ve become increasingly anxious and melancholy as I’ve gotten older. Something I really would like to change.

But I figure if I could at least understand WHY I think the way I think, it might help me figure out why I DO some of the things I do.

As a rule, we are typically idealistic, we value individualism and authenticity, yet I spent a lot of years trying to be a square peg in a round hole. As such, I wonder if I somehow tainted who I would be if I actually decided to be true to who I was.

I don’t really have a closing to this. And I’m learning to write more as a journal than anything else.

Interested to know your personality type? Take the free assessment at http://16personalities.com.

#infp #infpproblems

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bryanrthompson-blog · 8 years ago

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Just chilling with Vader. No big deal. #kccc2017 (at Truman Sports Complex)

#kccc2017

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bryanrthompson-blog · 8 years ago

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Hi, I’m Bryan, and This is My Blog

A few years ago, I got the bright idea that I could write blog posts that would help people discover truths about themselves and what was possible for their lives, their work, their relationships, and pretty much everything. My decade of work as a staff pastor had taught me that, as introverted as I was, I actually found people to be fascinating, and I found the stories they shared were connected to my own story. It’s the thing that kept me in pastoral ministry for so long.

The personal development site, ElevationLife, was the first step in that direction outside of the church, and it didn’t take long before it gained a nomenal following. I was building conversations on the blog, and was connecting to other people who were on their own journeys. My wife Kristin was deeply involved in the ministry pursuits I had been in, and was a minister in her own right. And very often, she would blog on my site and we would post content together.

She’s a skillful blogger and writer on her own, and the two of us are working on content to share about some of what has happened on our journeys, some of the lessons we’ve learned, and mainly, how to heal relationships when they’ve been broken and hurt. We’ve been down that road, too. And we’ll be sharing those experiences.

In the last ten years, I’d also written two novels as well as two ebooks I offered free on the ElevationLife blog.

But I was never very good at the pastoral ministry

Sounds like I’m being hard on myself. But there is good evidence to suggest that this was something I wasn’t very good at. As I’ve posted on my Medium site, it was something that, as interested as I am in humanity and the psychology and philosophy of the human race, wasn’t really a passion of mine as a minister. Too much centered around get-togethers and group activity that often seemed much more important to extroverts than to people like me.

I was good at entertaining people, and when those groups would form, I could hold attention well and keep the conversations moving at the expense of my own social anxiety and awkwardness, but it usually drained me afterward.

And as much as I tried to fit in and hold to the simplicity of the simple faith of the church, it often failed to answer the deeper questions in my own mind like, “Wait, so you’re telling me that if I had been born on the other side of the world to a family of Muslims, I would have still arrived at the same conclusions of the Christian faith I just happened to actually born into?” and other questions like, “If the Bible was literally supposed to be the God-breathed words of the ultimate guide to life to humankind, why did it so often not give any actual details about how to succeed or perform brain surgery or explain how atoms worked?”

Did I still believe in the overarching message and teachings of Jesus?

Yes.

And this is what kept me going in that faith, even when none of the rest of it seemed to make any sense. And even though we ultimately got out of the church ministry world as a career, we have a great church we attend that our kids love, and it feels good to not have to have all the answers.

And I’ve made a lot of mistakes

Even as someone who genuinely tries to follow the Golden Rule and the Sermon on the Mount, I’ve done a lot of stupid things. I’ve made some very irrational and irresponsible decisions. I won’t dwell on them here.

But I still love to write

And while I don’t yet have a vision for what this blog and website is going to be, I am going to start writing. And I’m going to attempt to be vulnerable here, because I’ve often been accused of not being vulnerable at all.

Some days that may mean I post stories that are going through my head. Other days it may be a tip or some kind of advice I feel I may have the liberty to give at that time. These days I don’t have much advice for anyone. But I have thoughts and those need to come out.

So here’s to the next great blog. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to connect with me at the links above.

And have a good day.

#blog

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